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Passions in Poetry

My Weeping One

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Meadowmuse
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since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


0 posted 01-14-2000 09:01 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse


My Weeping One


My weeping one asleep, I swiftly rose,
moved forward into brittle breathing air.
Crept through the icy streets on tender toes.
My weeping one asleep, I left her there.

And looking back but once, I hurried on,
no choice could I have known there on that night,
that hurt and horrors could be overthrown.
My weeping one asleep, I fled in fright.

And gnawing nights like this one when I fear
the moist and melting moan of passion's pain.
Though arching aching sighs I'll surely hear,
My weeping one's still sleeping in the rain.

Dear LadyClaire



© Copyright 2000 Meadowmuse - All Rights Reserved
Michael
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since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


1 posted 01-14-2000 09:53 AM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Wow!  I'm not sure what was the inspiration of this piece, Claire, but it truly gave me chills for some reason.  Beautiful verse tinged with regretfullness...a lovely combination.


Michael
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


2 posted 01-14-2000 10:08 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Beautiful verse, but disturbing thoughts
I love your writing
Liz
whiskey
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since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


3 posted 01-14-2000 10:16 AM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

Very chilling poem Claire , I liked it  
Seymour Tabin
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since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


4 posted 01-14-2000 10:25 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Meadow,
Good passion, good paint, good job, good poem
Sy
HelmutB
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since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


5 posted 01-14-2000 10:48 AM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

Spechless, only one word comes to mind

"WOW"

This is so soft but yet the impact it has



 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.

Rus Bowden
Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 141


6 posted 01-14-2000 01:05 PM       View Profile for Rus Bowden   Email Rus Bowden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Rus Bowden

Hi Claire,

Oh!  I think of a child left behind as the parent goes off to the world, but will the child be alright? and you've left that open.  Yet life goes on, but what price to we pay in this life?  Penetrating poetry!

Rus  
Skyfyre
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since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


7 posted 01-14-2000 02:10 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

I'll have to go with Michael on this one -- it left me with a directionless sense of sadness and loss ...

Poignant writing, Claire.

--Kess


 You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end.

Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


8 posted 01-14-2000 02:12 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

I agree! Excellent! It does evoke emotions of despair.

 Denise

And slight is the sting of his trouble
Whose winnings are less than his worth;
For he who is honest is noble,
Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~


Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


9 posted 01-14-2000 02:23 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse


Michael...I will take your chills as a compliment, if you please. Thank you for your verbal one, as well.

Liz...Thank you. We are mutual admirers, then, as I so enjoy your work.

Whiskey...Thank you, glad to hear that you liked this one.

Sy...Thank you sincerely.

HelmutB...I'm glad it had such an impact for you, and thanks for letting me know.

Rus...Thank you, and indeed, what price?
  Your perceptive response is encouraging.

Dear LadyClaire

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


10 posted 01-14-2000 03:29 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse


Kess, Denise...thank you both for reading and responding with such nice comments. Glad you enjoyed this piece.

Dear LadyClaire


passing shadows
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since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


11 posted 04-16-2005 04:53 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

wow
 
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