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Open Poetry #5
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Broken Road
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Broken Road |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap 
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The path of Life has borne a deviant tread Without complaint, from these, my weary feet; For often have I wandered, sorely lost, Though pride would not allow relent. The cost Was paid in blood and tears, and yet, retreat Poured poison in a heart already dead. Oh jagged road, these many scars I bear As testament to your uneven grain Could each relay a tale of triumph earned, Or, alternately, searing shame is burned Into a painted memory of pain. Of bitter vanity, this cloak I wear To hide the self, beneath a careful shade Of arrogance, a wall of seamless steel That baffles e'en the most insistent eyes. Reclusive soul begins to realize The price it pays for learning not to feel: By refuge walls a prisoner is made. The road ahead is bleak; the broken stone Reflects the heart in mocking parody. The body begs surcease from curse'd quest, But presses on – and hope avails no rest To one whose eyes, though opened, cannot see How, in the teeming throng, she stands alone. You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Anne Member
since 1999-12-31
Posts 78 |
Very striking. Excellent word and imagery choices. GREAT poem! |
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Baby Blue New Member
since 2000-01-12
Posts 7 |
A touching poem, I am amazed that you put those words together so perfectly. They are very deep and moving in some ways. Good job, and I hope that I will have time to read your others. Baby Blue "He became what he hated, But he loved what he became, And he hated the fact that he loved it." |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Skyfyre, once again your writing talent shines through! It is always a pleasure to read your poems! I love the way you use meter and rhyme so skillfully! Everything you write flows like a song! Denise |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Your brilliance preceeds you, Kess. Wonderful work... "Reflects the heart in mocking parody" great line. Michael |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
As carefully plotted and theatrically choreographed as a PJ Harvey song. And in case you were wondering, that's a compliment.  Mike |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Is this what you were working on? It's exceptional...of course... Now, you know it's crafted perfectly, so from now on when I comment on your work, I'm going to be looking at your content... How many times can I say "That's just great - you wrote it in perfect iambic pentameter!!"....LOL... I like the third stanza best... Your use of metaphor, and personification really enhances the poem.... particularly the "wall of seamless steel"... Nice one, Kess... |
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
I think, that of all your poetry I have read, (and I love all that I've read) that this is my favorite. Powerful and perfect. It's not the love you fear, but the fall from the height~Edwin McCain |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Not much more that can be added to the above. Truly exceptional. |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
No trite words or echoes from me on this my friend. 'Tis excellent work, particularly the rhyme scheme. Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© ------------------------------------------------------- "Either kill me or take me as I am, because I'll be damned if I ever change..." Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade (Marquis de Sade) |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I relate to this so well right now |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I do so enjoy reading these 'oldies'. This is a find worth reading again and again. |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I agree with the Devine one, this is sure worth a bump - dark done well ~ you can't beat it! |
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