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Open Poetry #5
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Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263


0 posted 2000-01-12 11:46 PM




Trusted Trespass


Trusted
trespass,
enfeebled
fouling few.
Despoil
morning's child,
once ivory
innocence
she knew.
Ill vacancy,
noiseless night
becomes
her hue.
Now pardon
past her,
as she
inconveniences
you.



Dear LadyClaire



© Copyright 2000 Meadowmuse - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 2000-01-12 11:51 PM


This says it all, Claire! Very well written.

 Denise


Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

2 posted 2000-01-13 06:50 AM


Denise, thank you for reading and commenting...I appreciate the feedback.

Dear LadyClaire

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
3 posted 2000-01-13 08:25 AM


I went back to read this twice.... Nice one...
Ted Reynolds
Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331

4 posted 2000-01-13 08:29 AM


Got it, second time through.  Good choice of sounds.  Well done.
simplyYRREHS
Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 162

5 posted 2000-01-13 08:29 AM


oh Claire!
Caught me with the title...splendid writing!  Can be manipulated to mean a grand array of things...LOVE IT!
Sherry

whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278
Australia
6 posted 2000-01-13 08:47 AM


This is wonderful Claire I like it
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
7 posted 2000-01-13 08:55 AM


Great reading, Claire.  Powerful piece.

Michael

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

8 posted 2000-01-13 08:56 AM


Wonderfully done.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
9 posted 2000-01-13 10:19 AM


You write about the terrible crime of sexual abuse in such a beautiful way, but still leaving the wrenching feelings of despair
Good work

caroline
Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm
10 posted 2000-01-13 10:23 AM


Oh my...incredibly powerful. Magnificent piece of writing, Meadow.

 It's not the love you fear, but the fall from the height~Edwin McCain



HelmutB
Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964
Canada
11 posted 2000-01-13 01:11 PM


I have to addmit I had to read it twice
before i came to realize
Then still i was unsure what I just read
Now I know It is so sad
Well the style you write
Makes others think.....twice

Thank you for sharing such incredible work

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.


Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
12 posted 2000-01-13 02:45 PM


Harsh subject, handled well.  Like the style of presentation and writing.  Fine title as well. A solid piece all the way around.  I bow to you and yours.
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
13 posted 2000-01-13 02:52 PM


Claire, this was so sophisticated in its presentation.  The message begged to come out, but the writing was so tight that I had to really think about what I was reading.  I loved the genious behind this fine piece of poetry.  So powerful and direct!
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
14 posted 2000-01-13 04:28 PM


You pack so much into this space of words--emotional and powerful.  Well done!
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

15 posted 2000-01-13 07:33 PM


Thanks, everyone, for your kindhearted responses. I'm glad you found something to like about this poem.

Dear LadyClaire


Grandma Jo
Member
since 2000-01-02
Posts 51

16 posted 2000-01-13 09:21 PM


Gotta admit that I too read it twice. Very nice piece, very well done!  
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

17 posted 2000-01-13 11:20 PM


Thank you, Grandma Jo, for taking the time to read, and respond so favorably.

Dear LadyClaire



passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
18 posted 2005-04-16 05:05 PM


cool write
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