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Open Poetry #5
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Night
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Night |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California 
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NIGHT The doors are locked. All shades are drawn. Secure in my castle of insecurity, I sit in Darkness anticipating nothing. Soft music rumbles across a lined forehead, seeping its way into the dormant channels of my brain. I sing along, words memorized to songs I never even hear. Disc Changer, so carefully programmed. Remote, scattered in pieces, yielding gracefully from shadow to the Wall, towering precariously over its latest victim. Nothing changing, ever, Numbness intercedes. Bleary eyes focusing intently on the clock, slowly erasing hours, in her always celebrated digital countdown to Death. There, I see it. A seeping strip of fire peeking at me through the blinds. I am Saved. I feel it glowing, the warmth of Dawn. Safely in her arms, I sigh. Finally, Sleep. Michael Anderson [This message has been edited by Michael (edited 01-12-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
This is wonderful Michael , I have felt every emotion is this piece. I like it  |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Michael - Glad the 'sun also rises' for you. I welcome the cloak of the night ... and wait in anticipation ... for the rising of the sun. Understanding this completely. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
The consistency of you efforts never falters, which is explained by your God given talents and the fact you write from within. Another excellent work. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Michael, You do write from within and it shows. Your poem is excellent from all of us that know. Bravo Sy |
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Sally S. Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847Ohio |
Well, I've read through this twice now and see that this can be taken a couple different ways..To be, or not to be a metaphor?!  Now THAT'S good poetry! Well done, Michael. You have great talent. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Michael, my friend... Just because Balladeer and I are sleeping normal hours - that doesn't mean you have to stay up ALL night watching the forum... It's all right if you sleep - Honest..... This is a pretty darned good poem you wrote in the middle of the night, though...... |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Michael, this is wonderful. I really like the change of your style you used for this one, it suits you well, would like to see a few more in total, and might I add wonderful, free verse like this. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
I really like your ability at free verse...I know you think it's not your forte, but alas, you do it well!  This is a remarkable piece...I can see you waiting up all through the night....I know you do this, quite frequently. I guess that's why you were so good at describing it here. Why do you wait till Dawn to find rest babe? I will rescue you from your castle of insecurity soon. You've used some powerfully descriptive words for mood and tone in this. As usual, your talent shines through even in the sadest and darkest of poetry. I love you.... |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
A talented poet no matter the form you choose! Well done, again, Michael! Denise |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Excellent, Michael. I thought I was reading Severn for a minute!...and that's a tribute to both of you. Good work! Nan, tell 'em you didn't mean TOGETHER!! |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Don't worry Deer, we all KNOW what she meant..he he...Very descriptive words here Micheal, your changable talent shines through again! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
...um.... to-what????...  |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Thank you all for the kind words...I don't think I will ever "comfortably" post a free verse piece in here but I sure appreciate the vote of confidence. Balladeer, I consider that the ultimate compliment. I would be lying if I said I wasn't inspired by Severn's style of poetry. Indeed, some of the best free verse I've ever read. TY Gen, you are the Dawn that ends my Darkness. It's only in the arms of your love I rest at all. Michael [This message has been edited by Michael (edited 01-13-2000).] |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Michael - thankyou for directing me to this - it is excellent! It has the all important freeverse flow...the sparity that captures your emotions. One thing - I do not think most of your punctuation is necessary. I find that in most FV the flow is dictated by the words - and the sound of them creates natural spaces, pauses and emphasis - I would suggest removing them just to see how it reads. There, I see it. A seeping strip of fire peeking at me through the blinds. I am Saved. I absolutely love this! Wow - it calls to me, an exquisite part! I do think you have done a remarkable job, Michael, More please!!!(Btw - you and Balladeer have so much faith in me - thankyou both! I do so appreciate it) K |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
A very descript poem you have here, Michael. I ain't gonna brag about you because it's already been done. Just keep up the good work though. Nathan |
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kitkat Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878Nova Scotia |
I truly enjoy reading your writings. you are very versatile with your creations. Keep it going. Just one question If you are up all night and sleep by day ummm you are not a vampire are you? (heheheheh)  |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Michael, first Excellent poem! 2nd are you being plagued by these sleepless nights again? I hope not, but I fear so...You will be in my prayers! <*\\\>< Where there is faith, there is love. Where there is love, there is peace. Where there is peace, there is GOD. Where there is GOD, there is no need. Hallmark |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
"There, I see it. A seeping strip of fire peeking at me through the blinds." Brilliant imagery (if you'll pardon the pun). --Kess You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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