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Passions in Poetry

The Rain

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First__Knight
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since 11-08-1999
Posts 688


0 posted 01-11-2000 04:38 AM       View Profile for First__Knight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for First__Knight



The Rain
~First Knight~


I sat in the rain and wondered.
Would it stop?
My head pounded at its sound
as it crashed upon the ground.

The thunder is strong and
I must endure the rain.
The greatness of it all
The power it possessed.

I wondered....
Mom's hot soup?
Day trip to the lake?
A swim where I grew up?

Maybe go and tease my sister like days of old,
When it was the only way I knew how to say
I love you.

I know.....
The corner store
Ice cream was always to be,
And friends never took long to find you there

Dad
working on the old car,
Handing tools and the smile.
Never gave him the tool he asked for.
He never complained.

"CRASH".....

As the sky opened up and again
I remembered....
The rain.

Shook by the force,
Power with respect.
Another kick to the head.

And I heard the "Crash" of thunder,
The storm grows

Lighting flashed as my head cleared again....
and again darkness as he closed my cell door.

It will always rain while I am here,
But this rain has no water.
No life giving force.
A taker by design.

Dreams
take me far away.
Far beyond my life
as a POW.

Having served as a soldier in the Panama conflict in 89 and Desert Storm in 91 I understand and respect those that lived this...


 Drive it like you stole it...LOL





[This message has been edited by First__Knight (edited 01-11-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 First__Knight - All Rights Reserved
HelmutB
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


1 posted 01-11-2000 06:17 AM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

Very interesting (besides that it's well written)
Reminded me on my Dad who also went through war and became a POW
Well done

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


2 posted 01-11-2000 06:29 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

David -

Interesting ....
shows versatility with feeling.
~*Marge*~
whiskey
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Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


3 posted 01-11-2000 08:18 AM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

This is great very interesting , Well written  
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


4 posted 01-11-2000 08:35 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

This is an intriguing piece, to be sure. I like how you've surprised the reader with the sudden disclosure of the reality of the setting. Just one small suggestion...double check your tenses to solidify your time distinctions. A very stirring poem!

Dear LadyClaire


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


5 posted 01-11-2000 10:43 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

This is a bit different for you. I like what you've done with it. Makes one think about what it must have been like for them and also how our dreams can see us through.
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 10-22-1999
Posts 10748
USA


6 posted 01-11-2000 12:04 PM       View Profile for vandana   Email vandana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for vandana

Very interesting !!!!!I like it.

 
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


7 posted 01-11-2000 12:44 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Excellent piece! You took me right into the mind of a POW!  

 Denise

First__Knight
Senior Member
since 11-08-1999
Posts 688


8 posted 01-11-2000 10:06 PM       View Profile for First__Knight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for First__Knight

Thank you all for your support and kindness  

 Drive it like you stole it...LOL

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