»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #5
»
The Love of Destiny
| Open Poetry #5 |
|
The Love of Destiny |
|
|
Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap 
|
Bright Destiny, upon her hallowed height, Did weave her cloth beyond the eyes of Man For ages long, until, to her delight, A pilgrim came unto her lofty land. With hopeful voice, and humble manner came This faithful man, to ask of her a boon. Impressed, she granted anything he'd name: If asked, she might have given him the moon. But he, in quiet tones, on bended knee, Asked not the riches she was thinking of: He whispered, "Only this I ask of thee, Dear Lady, that you favor me with Love." She answered, "Seek thou not such flighty things; For this one gift I cannot guarantee – ‘Tis threefold pain for every joy it brings – Ask not this boon, brave Knight, I beg of thee." "Oh sovereign Queen," he begged, "oh Lady Bright, I humbly ask that you do not deny My one request – else on this curse'd night I shall of my despair most surely die!" "Beseech me not! For this is no reward That thou hast asked!" she said, her visage grim, "‘Tis kinder fate to die upon the sword Than live as slave to Love's inconstant whim!" But he, unfazed, would not her warning heed, So she, with anguished heart, her promise kept: And in her magic web, performed the deed He asked of her, but as he left, she wept; For Destiny, with her enchanted eyes, Within her web, could see a tangled skein That spoke of his untainted heart's demise And in its wake, an endless well of pain. She saw her Knight, his vibrant spirit bled Of all delight, in payment for his quest: And so, with heavy heart, she cut the thread, And gathered him, in Love, unto her breast. < !signature--> You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. [This message has been edited by Skyfyre (edited 01-11-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Just wanted to say I enjoyed this ... contemporary olde englishe. Eh, trying to fit things into labels is for idiots. Let's just say, I enjoyed this poem! Yuo have a pretty complex rhythm structure going on in it, too; a lot of syllables. But it worked. Mike |
||
|
Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Kess, absolutely astonishing work.  Ok, well not astonishing, I'm really not that surprised at the excellence...I've come to expect it from you.Well done, as always May I never be too busy to help another's load, Then I'll be drinking from the saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed. --Author Unknown |
||
|
DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Kess I find I like the depth and breadth of your thoughts lately my friend, moreso than usual.< !signature--> Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© ------------------------------------------------------- "Either kill me or take me as I am, because I'll be damned if I ever change..." Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade (Marquis de Sade) [This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 01-11-2000).] |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Skyfyre, this is most excellent, I just love the old english style, Beautiful work!!! What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
||
|
Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
Have you ever been published? You write so beautifully and I can't see how anyone could deny your words. If you have never submitted a poem then I think you should! I don't usually come to this forum anymore but I'm glad I saw this one. Anyway I'm going back to dark! I will check for your response to this hopefully soon! "Write down what you say if what you say is not written down" (Bojopy) |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Kes...this is an absolutely enchanting and wonderful read. You have outdone yourself once more. Very fine work |
||
|
HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
This is very nice For I like to be the Knight The lady surely is a queen To take in the soldiers been Thank you for such a beautiful piece The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
||
|
lostboy Member
since 1999-11-21
Posts 275New Hampshire, USA |
'tis a wonderful tale Kess. You never cease to amaze! |
||
|
Sally S. Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847Ohio |
This by far, is my favorite of your works!! What a fine job, Kess! Brilliant. |
||
|
Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Now see here... ther is nothing wrong with sing-song! Well, well done m'lady. |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Kess, this is magnificent! You really are quite a talented writer! Denise |
||
|
Terrina Kethryveris Member
since 1999-12-06
Posts 53USA |
How beautiful my friend. Another wondeful piece, of course I expect nothing less form you. Terri Truth be known, fantasy is much more appealing than reality. |
||
|
Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
bsquirrel: Thank you for your kind comment, though I doubt you'll find too many idiots here to require catergorization LOL.  This "lot of syllables" is simply my normal iambic pentameter, to which I seem to be a slave ...Satiate, DE -- thank you for your continued support; I cannot express my gratitude. Dark Angel -- I am rather partial to Olde English as well, though it does not always lend itself to my verse LOL Bojopy: My work has never been published, but I am working on submissions for two academic publications at present -- one local and one international. I'll let you know how it comes out! Ruth: Whom else shall I outdo but myself? Thank you so much my friend ... Helmut: your kind compliment qualifies you as a Knight in my book. Thank you.  lostboy: Amaze? Well that is high praise indeed ... Sally: I hope to give you a new favorite every time my friend, thank you. L. R.: There is when that's all you seem to be able to write! LOL dsnyder, Terri: you are too kind to this humble poet. That's not to say I don't appreciate it though!  Smooches, --Kess |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
LOL@ too many syllables.... Hehe... Wasn't Mozart told he used "too many notes"?.... ...and you can't use too much of that darned archaic language either... You know I love it!!!.... |
||
|
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Definitely astounding! Had to pull out the dictionary for a couple words, but that's a good thing! Very beautiful, with exellent flow. I do agree, you have got to be published! *Krista Knutson* ~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack, Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare, Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water, Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha |
||
|
Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
This is an exceptional poem, Skyfyre. I love the twist, the irony. Beautiful work!  Claire |
||
|
Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Truly exceptional. |
||
|
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Iambic Pentameter (flashes back to college literature course), we meet again! Seriously though, I just want you to know, I did enjoy your work. I have a lot of enthusiasm when it comes to poetry, and I realize that sometimes that might come over wrong in such a paradox of personal yet faceless that is the Internet. When I write my replies, I'm responding to what touched me, what caught me, or simply what I thought was interesting. In other words, comments like "a lot of syllables" isn't a put-down: it's just an observation. I really did enjoy this poem, though -- both for its language, and its truthful view.Keep 'em coming. And you better get published sometime soon! Mike |
||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Destiny/Fate...Lachesis, Clotho, Atropos. Beautifully spun m'friend, showing the love, the courage, the sadness and the death. Well crafted indeed! "O human race, born to fly upward, wherefore at a little wind dost thou so fall?" Dante Alighieri |
||
|
One Who Understands Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 251Cedar Rapids, Iowa |
This piece defines the cherrished skill of flowing. Beautiful wording. Excellent job |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
