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Passions in Poetry

Just a Peek

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Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


0 posted 01-10-2000 05:38 PM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Nicole

I’m on the inside of my life, looking out to where I want to be
And through the dust and cob-webs, I can see what’s surrounding me
A dirty room in faded hues – of reds, and blues, and greens
The reminiscent colors of a once lively ‘me’ - past’s golden sheen

Through the milky window glass, those closest live their lives
And every now and then a stranger nears – then quickly passes by
I gaze at the entire splendor with a cataract-covered mind’s eye
Wondering what I did that clipped my wings from freely soaring flight

The window is a looming burden, weighing ten hundred tons or more
And sometimes I can pry it open, but never quite as wide as before
I’ll reach my hand out to my friends as they gaily play upon the shore
But just the tiniest of slaps sends it back – beaten, bloodied, and sore

Crying with frustration, I’ll try the door that leads outside
Kicking, wading through the cluttered junk, casting all caution aside
I’ll grab the handle, and can turn the knob…but the door won’t even slide
A box in front of the door blocks it shut – which I’ve carefully labeled ‘Pride’

So, in my self-contained prison I stay, muddling through the days
And continue to see the world outside my life’s greasy, dirty haze
Quietly basking in the jaundiced sun’s muted yellow rays
That is the cost eternal shyness and reclusiveness repays




 May I never be too busy to help another's load,
Then I'll be drinking from the saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed.

--Author Unknown
© Copyright 2000 Nicole Adams - All Rights Reserved
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


1 posted 01-10-2000 05:43 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

A line from a Zeppelin tune strikes me dear friend, "Though there are two paths you can go by, in the long run there's still time to change the road you're on."

It fits, I hope you take that simple advice to heart because you of all people do not derserve to be alone nor lonely.

Excellent verse, btw


 Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©
-------------------------------------------------------
"Either kill me or take me as I am,
because I'll be damned if I ever change..."

Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade
(Marquis de Sade)


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


2 posted 01-10-2000 05:49 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Satiate,
Excellent verse, you paint with a full palette. Really enjoyed the read.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


3 posted 01-10-2000 05:53 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Such sadness...I have to agree with Dream on this one.

The last verse really got me, Satiate. Well written - and I hope that one day you don't have to write about this anymore.

K
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


4 posted 01-10-2000 08:20 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Thanks for the url, Satiate.  I must say that I am getting more impressed with your latent poetic talent.  Seems like Emily was able to hog-tie John long enough for you to start and finish this one...with wonderful results.  Now, if only I could do some writing while I was at work...  

Alicat the Persnikitty



 As I sit here dimly thinking
Watching modem lights a-blinking
Churning out poetic hash.
Lord, in all Your piety,
Help me keep my sanity:
Please don't let the modem crash! --Alicat

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


5 posted 01-10-2000 08:41 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Well written Satiate. My thought is this; That box marked pride that blocks the door needs to be looked through. There are times in our lives when we need to open that box and re-examine the contents just to be sure what is there belongs.

Thankyou for this little peek into your view.  
Mike
Member Elite
since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


6 posted 01-10-2000 09:06 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

Very well written. Enjoyed.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


7 posted 01-10-2000 09:07 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Very painful. And well done.

 Denise

Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


8 posted 01-11-2000 01:07 AM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

Scott
Advice from a friend is always welcome, thank you
Seymour
Coming from such a masterful poet as yourself, what a compliment...many thanks
Kamla
Thank you very much
Ali
The trick is trying to either learn to write with a big white glove on and looking through a visor, or getting really good at taking your monkey suit on and off.  
Marilyn
Yes, you're quite right...might need to take a look in that box
Mike & Denise
Thank you for the read


[This message has been edited by Satiate (edited 01-11-2000).]
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


9 posted 01-11-2000 01:36 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

This is written very well.  I can see you looking hard at the person shut inside, wanting to fly is the beginning of the flight.

 In the dew of little things,
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.
(ee cummings)
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


10 posted 01-11-2000 08:40 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I can feel the emotions in this one loud and clear
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


11 posted 01-11-2000 08:40 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

"The window is a looming burden, weighing ten hundred tons or more
And sometimes I can pry it open, but never quite as wide as before
I’ll reach my hand out to my friends as they gaily play upon the shore
But just the tiniest of slaps sends it back – beaten, bloodied, and sore"

Powerful!

HUGS



 Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn.

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


12 posted 01-15-2000 04:11 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Clapping applause!
Well come my friend, written with charm style, and a heart hidden in the fold of security!
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


13 posted 01-15-2000 10:06 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Hey - I missed this the first time around - I'm glad Christopher brought it back for another lap - I really enjoyed it...   
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


14 posted 01-15-2000 10:16 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Satiate

Crying with frustration, I’ll try the door that leads outside
Kicking, wading through the cluttered junk, casting all caution aside
I’ll grab the handle, and can turn the knob…but the door won’t even slide
A box in front of the door blocks it shut – which I’ve carefully labeled ‘Pride’

This is soooo good!  What I find so hard to understand, though, is how a poet like you can ever be contained within such a dimly lit room.  Your friends standing outside do bask in the light - your light!  From the outside, the rest of us see a room with windows, and lights beam from those windows like from a lighthouse.  Look at that smile in your picture - if that is not radiance, then I need to revamp my vocabulary.

Come out of your room if you must, but please leave the lights on.
whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


15 posted 01-15-2000 10:24 AM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

This is so sad , Very well written , A great poem I enjoyed the read very much
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


16 posted 01-15-2000 10:31 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

I remember that room, you describe it so accurately. Very well written
Liz
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


17 posted 01-16-2000 03:16 PM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Very well said, I seem to ahvea  room or two just like that.  Maybe I should go throw out some of those unwated boxes...what do ya think?

 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~


JennyLee
Senior Member
since 09-01-99
Posts 1478
Northwestern, NJ.


18 posted 02-02-2000 12:59 PM       View Profile for JennyLee   Email JennyLee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JennyLee

So, in my self-contained prison I stay, muddling through the days
And continue to see the world outside my life’s greasy, dirty haze
Quietly basking in the jaundiced sun’s muted yellow rays
That is the cost eternal shyness and reclusiveness repays


Satiate, I really loved this passage. As long as there is but one person who cares about you...you're never alone!


Jenny
 
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