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Passions in Poetry

Title anyone?

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HM3
Member
since 07-15-99
Posts 130
TX


0 posted 01-09-2000 05:25 PM       View Profile for HM3   Email HM3   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for HM3

Laughter gives my soul ease,
a brief welcome reprieve
A gentle moment of peace,
captured for a time
The world keeps revolving,
another thought comes to mind

Tomorrow is not a promise,
today has just begun
Yesterday's are memories
thoughts yet to come


 Work like money doesn't matter, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching...




[This message has been edited by HM3 (edited 01-09-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Wanda Ozee - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
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since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


1 posted 01-09-2000 05:28 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

HM3,
Nice, enjoyed the read.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


2 posted 01-09-2000 05:33 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

A title....how about 'Life'. Nice thoughts in this!

 Denise

Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


3 posted 01-09-2000 05:45 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

I like the title Life! Because this poem sums it all up! Good one! How do you get your inspiration?  
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


4 posted 01-09-2000 06:41 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

How about "Timeless Treasures"?

enjoyed your poem
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


5 posted 01-09-2000 06:52 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

It may be cliché, but how about "Stolen Moments."  Otherwise Lady D's "Life" gets my vote.  A pleasant read all the same.
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


6 posted 01-09-2000 09:07 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Two suggestions:

1) How about Laughter for a title?

2)  I think the poem would be stronger without the last stanza...

just a thought.


Corinne
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


7 posted 01-09-2000 09:47 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I like this, it's simple, but says a great deal....and Life gets my vote too.
HM3
Member
since 07-15-99
Posts 130
TX


8 posted 01-14-2000 10:44 PM       View Profile for HM3   Email HM3   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for HM3

What about Circles for a title?
Michael
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since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


9 posted 01-14-2000 10:47 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

"Captured by the Moment" maybe?

Michael
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


10 posted 01-14-2000 11:22 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

I like it.
How about 'Circles Of Life'?
~*Marge*~

 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

LyricFetish
Senior Member
since 01-13-2000
Posts 515
North Carolina


11 posted 01-14-2000 11:35 PM       View Profile for LyricFetish   Email LyricFetish   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LyricFetish

I love your idea of "Circles" as it is, because I feel that a poem should speak for itself, and that the explanation should not be fully captured in the title. Good luck from a fellow poet.

* Meredith *
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


12 posted 01-15-2000 02:10 AM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Short, sweet and to the point, great job!

 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~


bsquirrel
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


13 posted 01-15-2000 04:07 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

I'd call it "Daylight Savings Time" for the double entendre, but that's just me.

Mike
whiskey
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since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


14 posted 01-15-2000 11:27 AM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

This is great short and to the point , Id call it "Life in time" Well done  
JamesMichael
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since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


15 posted 01-15-2000 04:30 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

HM3 I enjoyed this poem and I have some suggestions for a title.   They are "A moment of time" and "More to come" and "In the moment" and "Living in the moment".   I liked Andrews suggestion of "Stolen moments".
James
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