Today they called me and said you died,
My heart was breaking i cried and cried.
They said he put the gun to his head,
i cried and pounded my fists into my bed.
He was hurting so bad and couldnt find a way,
to make it through just one more day.
He thought everyone would be alright,
I wish he could see them all tonight.
His mother walked in and saw him lying there,
she swore to herself and said i dont care,
that can not be my baby lying there.
I have raised him and loved him thru it all,
why oh why didnt we here his call?
He had asked for someone to hear his cry,
so that he would not have to die.
Everyone thought he will pull through this,
and walked on by with not so much as a kiss.
He needed someone to just be there,
someone to say i love you and i do care,
I care about your relationship with me,
I can not survive this and just let it be!
I tried to tell him i have been there before,
but the words can not get to the core.
These feelings are all bottled up inside,
there is no where to go and no where to hide!
Let these feelings out and it wont be so bad,
then bottling them up till it makes you so sad,
To sad because you dont know how to deal,
with all of these feelings that are so real.
He left behind a beautiful family to grieve,
if he seen us now he would never believe,
everyone is so sad and crying you see,
im sitting there thinking, why didnt you take me!
I am here and loving him so
why oh why did he let go.
We sit here and think while the lights get dim,
we sit here and listen to hymn after hymn.
We sit here and smell his favorite cologne,
We sit here and feel oh so very alone!