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Passions in Poetry

Drunken Tragedy

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HelmutB
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


0 posted 01-08-2000 10:05 PM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

This poem I wrote togehter with my dear friend Tori. With the intention to post it at High schools and MADD. So far it is posted at MADD London, Ontario. We shall continue.

Once Upon Time

Morning came. They always come
Drops of dew lined up one by one
There was nothing different from any other day
No one could predict what was on its way

The band of tar laid out in soil
No one could see the thin layer of oil
A car sped down so fast
The needle trembled it would ever last!

A driver young, careless and free
Behind the wheel but he did not see
His vision impaired, not yet awaken’
Hill after lucky hill the car had taken

Friends were sitting right beside
In drunken laughter on their homeward ride
With the thrill of speed deep in their eyes
How could they see or realize?

The last set of numbers reached by the needle
No warning, nor sign of evil
The car came flying high over the crest
Swirling out took away their breath

Their car forced into the other lane
The dice have fallen in this deadly game
The car crushed into the oncoming van
Rolling over and over again
Spinning out like tin can

Tires squealing shattered glass
Smoke and fire engulfed their pass
Nothing could defy the impact force
Both cars were taken out of course

No sound escaped from either car
The drive home went too far
All lives were gone, forever more
A widow left, such pain she bore

Her husband became a casualty
Four teenagers died, instantly
The child, the father she will never know
So much pain and only memories to show

Five lives were recklessly thrown away
Friends and family feel such dismay
Five graves lined up in single row
Hovering shadows of a mournful glow

Parents and siblings standing there
Nothing is left, but despair
Widow, …and child hardly grown
Now standing there, …alone

Five crucifix and flowers standing still
Mourners’ now are wondering, was this “His” will
Once upon a time and now five lives are gone
Be careful with yours, you have only one

Have we done all we can to educate?
Why do these things repeat?
Is there nothing we can say?
Is there not a better way?

© Helmut and Tori, Oct.1999




 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.  


[This message has been edited by HelmutB (edited 01-09-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Helmut Becker - All Rights Reserved
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


1 posted 01-09-2000 12:57 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

This is a very powerful piece!  I'm glad to see you sharing it with others!  You two did a nice job on this!  Speaks volumes - I'm sending it back to the top in hopes more will read it!  Only one small suggestion, in the forums, the title is really what draws someone in to read a poem....I would have named this one something along the line of...."Drunken Tragedy"....or something to give the reader an idea of what it is....This is just too good to be hidden under a "neutral" title.  Does that make any sense?  There are sooo many poems that go through here, if you don't have something that will make the reader WANT to read it, often it goes by unnoticed!  This should be read by all !!!  Just a little suggestion - the poem is awesome though!  Keep up the good work you are doing!  I speak from experience on this topic of drinking & driving.  Sometimes it takes a tragedy to get people's attention, sad to say.  Welcome to the forums, hope to read more from you!   Gennifer

 ** I'm reaching for the brightest star I've ever seen - knock my ladder out from under me, and you'll wish you hadn't !! -pFF ** Here's to 2000!
CrazyChick
Member
since 01-05-2000
Posts 134


2 posted 01-09-2000 01:09 AM       View Profile for CrazyChick   Email CrazyChick   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for CrazyChick

You did an excellent job writting this poem. I lost a best friend to a drinking and driving accident, it happens to often. This poem should be read by all. Great job!!!!!!!
HelmutB
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


3 posted 01-09-2000 01:46 AM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

poetFemmeFatale.
Thanks for your advise, you are right. Well I guess as a newbe I try to read them all. There are so many nice pieces there. I have yet so much to learn and I like what I have seen so far. PS: can i edit the posted piece?

CrazyChick
I'm sorry to hear. The account is based on facts. We all together might just make a difference.

Thanks you both for your kind words. I will sure let Tori know.


 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.
Jer
Member
since 12-02-1999
Posts 455
USA


4 posted 01-09-2000 01:47 AM       View Profile for Jer   Email Jer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jer

Wow..... all I can say is I echo the comments above.  I think Pff said it all.  I to hope all will read this poem as it has touched me.
HelmutB
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


5 posted 01-09-2000 02:08 AM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

Thank you Jer. As a Firefighter (judging by the picture) I'm sure you get to see this too often

Thanks again Pff, I have taken your advise and changed the subject line.

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.
Jer
Member
since 12-02-1999
Posts 455
USA


6 posted 01-09-2000 02:24 AM       View Profile for Jer   Email Jer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jer

Ahhhh.... so true. I see alot of horible things.  I'm a FireFighter/EMT. I see a ton of other medical stuff to.  But let me tell you one thing.  It's even worse to walk up to a car crash and know someone that has been hurt.  Scarry.  I have have it happen to me several times.  One time it was my own mom!
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


7 posted 01-09-2000 04:08 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Oh wow - I see you've changed it!  Very cool!  
I think you're probably the only person ever to take advise from me!  hehe  **blushing and quite honored!     Just joking...I do hope it helps catch the attention of more reader's though.  I'll make sure it stays afloat for you, ok?     Seriously, this is a very important issue to me too.  Great job again.
Lisa Graham-Marshall
Junior Member
since 12-31-1999
Posts 24
Nottingham. UK


8 posted 01-09-2000 06:30 AM       View Profile for Lisa Graham-Marshall   Email Lisa Graham-Marshall   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lisa Graham-Marshall

What a powerfull piece of writing.
Thank you for sharing it.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


9 posted 01-09-2000 07:07 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

I have seen these headlines too often and I have shed too many tears. I'm glad you wrote this piece
Liz
HelmutB
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


10 posted 01-09-2000 08:56 AM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

Poetfemmefatale
Thank you as I said before
For knocking on my upper door  
As man I never argue, no not with a femme
I lose it with mine now and then  
A Lady makes me feel so small
Especially when she is "Femme" and "Fatale"

I really do think your thought about the Title was right and that why I changed it.
Thanks again and forgive the small poem above, could not resist lol.


HelmutB
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


11 posted 01-09-2000 09:03 AM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

Jer
Elizabeth Santos
Lisa Graham-Marshall

Hope your mom was ok. Must be devestating to find her in an car accident.Thx Jer.

Elizabeth and Lise, Thx for your nice comments.




 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


12 posted 01-09-2000 09:15 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Helmut...this is one that definately needs shared as I said the first time I read it.
Hey, you just joined and you're one step ahead of me already...I don't know how to change a title!!
HelmutB
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


13 posted 01-09-2000 09:52 AM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

Thanks Ruth
I don't think that I'm ahead of you, your one of my idol's. (hope is spelled this one right.)
It's that little icon in your header line, looks like a note pad with a pencil. The third from the left. That's where you can edit or delete the message. Hope this works for you.
Thanks for your comments, your poems are just as important.

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


14 posted 01-09-2000 04:15 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

ROFL at Helmut - You are a funny one!  You need not fear this femmefatale, for my bark is far worse than my bite (most of the time...)  LOL  Depends if there's a full moon or not, and what kind of MOOD I'm in!  hahaha  Hey, I really liked the little poem you wrote for me up there!     Very sweet, and sorry if I make you feel small,  I have a feeling you're quite the opposite.     You have a big heart, and you're full of mischief!  I like that !  hehe

 ** I'm reaching for the brightest star I've ever seen - knock my ladder out from under me, and you'll wish you hadn't !! -pFF ** Here's to 2000!
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


15 posted 01-09-2000 06:30 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

A true tragedy for sure. What will help? I have an idea but the cost would probably be prohibitive for the auto industry and thus to the comsumer but then again, what price is too much to save even one life. You know those attatchments that they place on the ignition of convicted drunk drivers in some  states with the breatholizer gadget? Sure some people would just have others start the car for them, but I'm sure it would cut down on the number of drunk drivers on the road. Not everyone would be able to convince such a 'friend' to do this for them. I think something like this should be on every car. I also think that driver's licenses shouldn't be given to anyone under the age of 18...not saying that there are not some 16 and 17 year olds mature enough to drive, but it would eliminate many of the immature drivers. Also, I think one DUI stop should cause a person to lose the privilege to drive for at least a year...driving is a privilege, not a right. Just some of my thoughts. Fabulous poem,  btw.

 Denise

HelmutB
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


16 posted 01-09-2000 07:14 PM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

Poetfemmefatale
You’ve looked right through my cover up
Ripped it away with a single swap
Me…..mischievous, never would I dare Mam’
Not with a Poet like you “femme”
Yes you ripped away the disguise and said it all
Hope you like it “Poetfemmefatale”     
Thanks you again

I like your idea Denise, perhaps we could make a letter and send it to the big car makers. See what they have to say. Asking does not cost anything but time, but not asking cost perhaps some lives. I think we on to something here. At least we would make them think. Thanks for your input.

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.  




[This message has been edited by HelmutB (edited 01-10-2000).]
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


17 posted 01-10-2000 04:54 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Helmut!!!  I'm so glad to see you've figured out how to post - now I just need to find your other poems!

Congratulations on getting over your "condition" and joining this group - you will see what I mean about them being so generous and giving...

looking forward to many more pieces.

 Sunshine
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


HelmutB
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


18 posted 01-10-2000 06:09 PM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

It looks like you found them all Sunshine. There is more to come but I have a hard time keeping up with everything. I'm sure I will learn in time. My condition...well it's still there but it's getting a little bit better every day.
The people here are angles if i might add.
Thanks

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.  



[This message has been edited by HelmutB (edited 01-10-2000).]
SnglDad
Member
since 01-08-2000
Posts 121
Seattle area


19 posted 01-10-2000 06:58 PM       View Profile for SnglDad   Email SnglDad   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SnglDad

This is one reason that we should all think twice about getting behind the wheel after
having a drink. Great work.
Thanx for sharing and God Bless
HelmutB
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


20 posted 01-11-2000 06:10 AM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

Yes you are right.
Hope we can make a difference
And they say never give up hope
Thank you SnglDad

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.

PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 08-30-99
Posts 1829
Aloha, Oregon


21 posted 01-11-2000 07:30 PM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

Helmut...this is such a sad reminder of what alcohol and/or drugs can do to people. The tragedy and the ripple effect is so tragic and NEEDLESS. I really enjoyed the way it was written and would hope that wakes some people up. Am sending it back to the top.

 Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream.

Shawna R. Holder
Boise, Idaho

HelmutB
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


22 posted 01-11-2000 08:25 PM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

Thank you WildChild. I think that something can be done if we keep writing about it. Thanks for your kind words
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


23 posted 04-16-2005 05:27 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

...speechless here
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


24 posted 01-24-2006 11:48 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

I really enjoyed the effort you put into making this poem be heard - let's hope more read it.
 
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