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Passions in Poetry

Don't Ever Argue With Lorelei

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Toerag
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since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


0 posted 01-07-2000 11:43 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Toerag


LongJohn was arguing with Lorelei,
A task he couldn't win,
Of course ya know men always try,
But we know we never can.

They were arguing over love-making,
LongJohn said "Men enjoy it more,
Why do you think we're always hot,
It's something we adore."

Lorelei just shook her head,
And said, "Now listen here,
I'll prove to you that you are wrong,
And as dumb as Balladeer!"

"If you have an itch,
In your middle ear,
And ya stick your finger in,
And scratch it every where,
And when you've finally finished,
And pull out your finger 'dear',
Which one feels better,
Your finger or your ear?"
© Copyright 2000 Toerag - All Rights Reserved
Lorelei54
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since 07-27-99
Posts 486


1 posted 01-07-2000 11:47 AM       View Profile for Lorelei54   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lorelei54

huh? huh?
what did I do?  I guess I will just leave this one be and let LJA comment!

Hey Toe..how far do you live from Chatanooga?  We gonna finally get to meet you in the spring?
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


2 posted 01-07-2000 11:53 AM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Thanks for the warning Toe. I shall be sure not to agrue with her.   Hey the advice she gives is sound. She is a smart woman....although she did marry the Sailor....hmmm I guess love is blind...lol

No offense to either Lorelei or Sailor with that comment.  
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


3 posted 01-07-2000 11:54 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

yep....looks like it...about 2 hours if I recall?.....
suthern
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since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


4 posted 01-07-2000 12:01 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

I waited so long for a chance to post, I forgot what I'd wanted to say! LOL. Geesh... don't servers understand that thinking is hard enough for me without impediments? LOL!

Loved the poem, sweets!!! And I do have to agree with Lor's assessment of the situation. LOL. But I don't share Marilyn's unwillingness to offending the sailor *G*... so I will question SOME of Lor's decisions! LOL
Lorelei54
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since 07-27-99
Posts 486


5 posted 01-07-2000 12:05 PM       View Profile for Lorelei54   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lorelei54

I'm so often asked why I married this man, I wish I could put it to poetry...but I'm not that talented, but I tell you from my heart..He's funny, he's smart and and has a great big....heart!!! (he has manners too, but that would be bursting his image, so I'll just tell it quietly)  What else could a gal ask for?
Marilyn
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since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


6 posted 01-07-2000 12:07 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

suthern....'Tis Lorelei I don't want to offend. I have been forewarned by sir Toe here. Sailor...well I took a poke at him when I initially came to the board and I have survived the fray...lol. I do not know these fine folks that well and I would hate to be taken in the wrong way. Once I get to know her better I might be more inclined to let the jokes fly.
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


7 posted 01-07-2000 12:11 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

I don't think ya could have found a better one Lor.....honestly....and yanno?...He done purddie good himself....
Mike
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since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


8 posted 01-07-2000 01:05 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

Last time I ever listen to Toerag... Stuck my finger in my wife's ear and she hauled off and hit me...  then she said, after 28 years, you still ain't got it right.  Thanks a lot Mr. ToeRag sir....  Sincerely, Mike
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


9 posted 01-07-2000 02:42 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

I'm so sorry Mike.....it was a typo..honest....I left off the "R" in ear?....Please forgive me.....LOL
LngJhnAg
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since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


10 posted 01-07-2000 03:00 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

OMG, Mike - that is one of the funniest posts I've read in a long time - lmao@haven't got it right - that was great!

Marilyn... Now that I know who yer M-in-law is, dontcha think you oughta be jest a tad cautious?  hmmmm?  Yanno, she's just a woman, and I have my manly ways to lord over her - just a friendly warning....heh heh heh

LngJhnAg  <----- hasn't got a clue

psst, Marilyn - any time you want to take a shot at me, please feel free to have fun... I'll probably laugh harder than anybody else, and I promise to not take your comments seriously - we are all friends in here, and who better to have as a bantering partner?

As for old Toerag - yanno, Toe - that was a pretty nice compliment, pardner - thanks

Lorelei (my love) - yanno, you CAN lie in here about my physical attributes - really, nobody will doubt the veracity of your claims... please?... just a little white lie?... *feeling puny now*

Lorelei54
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since 07-27-99
Posts 486


11 posted 01-07-2000 03:03 PM       View Profile for Lorelei54   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lorelei54

Puny?
I have a feeling you have not been "puny" in many mnay years my lover...and did I say anything about your attibutes?  I think you are put together quite nicely...and we sure fit arm in arm like a glove...
Toerag
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since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


12 posted 01-07-2000 03:14 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

LongJohn.....I can't believe ya named "it"...?????...Geesch, I aint' named mine in years! When I did, I called it "forearm of the hulk"....and you named your's "puny?"....That's interesting....If the name fits.....where it?....LOL....but really, ya should quit "feeling" it at work, someone might think you're taking a put put golf pencil home down your pants......
suthern
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since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


13 posted 01-07-2000 03:29 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

ROFL @ Mike getting it right and LJA not having a clue... and ROFLMAO @ naming it puny!!! You guys have turned a lousy Friday afternoon of work and frustration into a "hide behind my file cabinet and giggle" kind of day.... Thank you!!!!  
Nan
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since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


14 posted 01-07-2000 07:25 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

... and you had all this fun while I was trying to teach a miscreant 10yr old kid how to multiply????
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


15 posted 01-07-2000 07:31 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Obviously written by a man very knowledgeable about fingers in the ears....and I can't believe Lorelei would call Balladeer dumb....we've had some great dimes together!!  
Andrew Scott
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since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


16 posted 01-07-2000 07:38 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

LOL... funny stuff all the way around and down... really can't stop laughing.
Mike
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since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


17 posted 01-08-2000 05:19 PM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

Dear Mr. Toerag sir:
Do you perchance know where I can get a good used set of crutches? I will make this brief as it is hard to type with one hand.   Are you sure you said "r"?  Sincerly, Mike (any replies may be sent to the emergency room)
Pepper
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since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

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18 posted 01-08-2000 05:35 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

ROFL....   
Like the poem...like the thread!!
Lorelei54
Member
since 07-27-99
Posts 486


19 posted 01-08-2000 07:04 PM       View Profile for Lorelei54   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lorelei54

Call Deer' dumb??? never!!!  Where did you get that idea?  And yes, I agree that we have had some great "dimes" together...perhaps we should go in seach of them again?
Balladeer
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


20 posted 01-08-2000 09:12 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Hey, Lorelei, I've got enough cents not to turn that offer down!! (with LGA's approval, of course)
poetFemmeFatale
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since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


21 posted 01-09-2000 12:43 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

LMAO at all this stuff, but laughing the hardest at Mike for all his mishaps!  LOL  Here's a story for you Mike....uh....when I was 2, I stuck my finger in an electrical outlet...shocked the hell out of me all the way up my arm!  Never did it again!!  You'll learn these things with age I suppose....Uh...how old are you anyway?  **sigh   Guess you're just a late bloomer!  hehe

Stop sticking your fingers in places they don't belong!  ROFLMAO  'Toe will only get you in trouble!  NEVER listen to him!!  (sending flowers to e-room)     You're too funny man!


 ** I'm reaching for the brightest star I've ever seen - knock my ladder out from under me, and you'll wish you hadn't !! -pFF ** Here's to 2000!
 
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