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Passions in Poetry

Fools Paradise

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neitham
Junior Member
since 12-29-1999
Posts 44
India


0 posted 01-06-2000 11:40 PM       View Profile for neitham   Email neitham   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit neitham's Home Page   View IP for neitham

FOOLS PARADISE

dreaming of a vision
in a world of illusion
enclosed in a sanctuary
chained and encumbered
in the doldrums, persecuted
dawn of a disillusionment
in the cold night, empty words
contemplate not this fate
  
stone cold, frozen eye
search this damn soul
drowning in poisoned tears
footsteps in the dark
whispered temptation
of chimerical mirth
the devils incarnation
clothed in a white robe.
  
victim of a twisted fate
scouting the impossible
running round in circles
waits for the falling stars
defy all rationality
shed every inhibitions
hiding behind vain hopes
this is fools paradise.


© Copyright 2000 JK.Neitham - All Rights Reserved
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


1 posted 01-07-2000 08:26 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Excellent! Neitham - this is a very good piece of poetry - I really felt the heaviness and sense of hopelessness - particularly in the last verse.

Well done.



 '...I want to be free - free to know people and their backgrounds - free to move to different parts of the world...' Sylvia Plath
Paul Hoekman
Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 385
Harwinton Ct. U>S>A>


2 posted 01-07-2000 08:39 AM       View Profile for Paul Hoekman   Email Paul Hoekman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Paul Hoekman's Home Page   View IP for Paul Hoekman

Wow! I guess you made your point.
I nearly started to get pulled into
a hopeless feeling before the Spirit
yanked me back. Well done!
   "God's love is hope which satisfies"
                Paul
whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


3 posted 01-07-2000 09:39 AM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

Neithem this is great really good piece well done  
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


4 posted 01-07-2000 11:23 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I am quickly becoming a fan of your writings  
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


5 posted 01-07-2000 11:28 AM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

I agree with hoot!  Love your style, you reach out and grab the reader!  

My favorite line:  "whispered temptation of chimerical mirth"  - whoa!

Corinne
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


6 posted 01-07-2000 11:31 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

I agree! Your words do reach out and grab the reader!  

 Denise

 
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