How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #5 Archive
 Casey at the Bar......repost for Denise
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Casey at the Bar......repost for Denise from #1

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


0 posted 01-06-2000 11:14 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

The clock stood at eleven in the Mudville bar that night
With but one hour to go before the dimming of the light,
And, with nary a female present and the hour growing late,
The odds were low that Casey would be leaving with a date.


The faces of the patrons filled with melancholy gloom
That Mudville's living legend was about to meet his doom,
But Casey smiled and raised his glass-said 'HAVE ANOTHER BREW!
I'll be leaving with a honey pot before the evening's through!"

And it was true that Casey never once met with defeat.
His countenance was masculine, his hair was always neat..
A rather large protruberance bulged just below his belt,
And, with one downward look or glance a female heart would melt.

But one loud voice called out with scorn within the barroom crowd.
'There'll be no lass with you by morn!',the heckler cried aloud.
'You're no god, as these fools think. To me, you're flesh and bone
And, by the time the sun comes up, you'll greet the morn alone!!'

'You're on!!', screamed Casey, full of rage. 'I'll take your dare and more
From anyone who cares to bet that Casey will not score!
Just put your money on the bar ... Bartender! Pass the hat!
And let me show you how it's done with Casey at the bat!

The hat was passed, the bets were made, the tally jotted down,
The patrons waited patiently as clock hands ticked around,
And, at 11:17 the first one came inside..
Casey smiled like a little child, approaching from the side.

One hundred eyes were on him as they watched him make his play.
One hundred ears heard poetry in the words he had to say.
Then she hit his with her purse, screamed out "YOU CREEP!and she was gone.
'She adored me!' called out Casey, but the bar replied, "STRIKE ONE!!"

At 11:34 the second entered in the place.
Her features were magnificent..Iong hair down to her waist.
Casey rubbed his hands together, smiling like a fool,
And, with an air of nonchalance, he leaned against her stool.

He tried tender words, teasing words, lines that never failed,
Tempting words and pleasing words, but all to no avail.
He led her glance down to his bulge where he had been so blessed.
'What do you think of that?', he smiled. Said she, 'I'm not impressed.'

'She's a derelict!'screamed Casey.'Her brain's fried by the sun!
'An escapee from an asylum. Yes! A loonie on the run!!'
'Surely this doesn't count, my friends. She's mad, I promise you.'
'She's a lunatic!' screamed Casey - but the bar replied, "STRIKE TWO!"

The smile was gone from Casey's lips. He wore a look of pain.
His face was frozen in a scowl. His air was of disdain.
His features curled up in a snarl. Fire blazed from out his eye!
And all there knew he'd never let the final one go by.

At 11:59 in came the last one through the door,
Homely, short and dumpy, she was ugly to the core!
But Casey made a charge that would have paled the light brigade
And Mudville's hills still echo with the effort Casey made.

He adored her - idolized her - made her feel just like a queen.
He tried praising her and raising her to levels yet unseen.
He did his best creating a romantic calvacade
And the crowd applauded wildly at the effort Casey made!

She tried to leave - he rushed by her and stood and barred the door.
She tried to run - he tackled her and threw her to the floor.
She tried to rise - he wrapped himself around one hairy knee,
And all the world was silenced by the force of Casey's plea.

Oh, somewhere in this shining land, the passion fires spring hot
And nookie's being traded in some high school parking lot.
And, somewhere voices in the throes of ecstacy cry out,
But there is no joy in Mudville..mighty Casey has struck out.

© Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


1 posted 01-06-2000 11:36 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Whew! Well, after running to the bathroom, laughing hysterically, I had to print this out right away! You never disappoint, Balladeer!  How do you come up with all this stuff? You never strike out! Perhaps Casey should hang out with you...hehehehehe!

Thanks, Balladeer, you've made my day!



 Denise

PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 08-30-99
Posts 1829
Aloha, Oregon


2 posted 01-06-2000 11:53 PM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

Balladeer, that was sooo funny and I can recall quite a few of those would-be Casey's back in the day. What am I saying??? I even married one. Took him awhile but he struck out too lol. Thanks for the giggles.

 Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream.

Shawna R. Holder
Boise, Idaho

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


3 posted 01-07-2000 01:09 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Another great hilarity
from the deer into posterity
Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


4 posted 01-07-2000 02:37 AM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

I remember this one!     Thank you for sharing it with us again.

Always a treat, ya are!  

 May I never be too busy to help another's load,
Then I'll be drinking from the saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed.

--Author Unknown
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


5 posted 01-07-2000 07:59 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

     I'm still laughing at this one from the first time you posted it, my Deer



[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 01-07-2000).]
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


6 posted 01-07-2000 08:12 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

I've always preferred sports bars myself. This is great fella......LOL
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


7 posted 01-07-2000 11:57 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Oh, I've gotta bring this one back to the top! Just toooo funny!  

 Denise

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


8 posted 01-07-2000 12:35 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

ROTLF...oh Mike..this one was fabulous! True to form you never fail to make me laugh. Excellent Dear One.
jenni
Senior Member
since 09-11-99
Posts 511
Washington D.C.


9 posted 01-07-2000 01:39 PM       View Profile for jenni   Email jenni   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jenni

absolutely wonderful... i can hardly stop laughing, lol...thanks!
Shirleeah Storey
Member
since 01-03-2000
Posts 73
Delaware


10 posted 01-07-2000 01:44 PM       View Profile for Shirleeah Storey   Email Shirleeah Storey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Shirleeah Storey

I'll have to agree with Denise - you had me crying hysterically.  Co-Workers thought I had finally lost it due to the pressure of my job!  I remember that Casey stories, but never quite like this.....Keep them coming so the laughter will never end!
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


11 posted 01-07-2000 03:59 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Batter up! LOL. This is great, 'Deer one... I loved it on the first read... and time hasn't diminished my grins. *G*
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


12 posted 01-07-2000 04:01 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Well I would add my "two cents" to the Community Poem, but I can just hear Balladeer and Longjohn now... "Oh well, there goes the neighborhood!"
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


13 posted 01-07-2000 04:12 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

My thanks to you all. It always puts a smile on my face to help someone laugh  

Toe, putting on your two cents? Who ya gonna borrow the other penny from?
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


14 posted 01-07-2000 09:25 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

ROFL...only you Balladeer could come up with this  
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


15 posted 01-09-2000 01:21 AM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

LOL, I think my memory is failing, geez, am I that old?  I don't seem to remember this one, but I sure needed the laugh!  

 <*\\\><
Where there is faith,
there is love.
Where there is love,
there is peace.
Where there is peace,
there is GOD.
Where there is GOD,
there is no need.

Hallmark


 
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #5 >> Casey at the Bar......repost for Denise Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors