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Open Poetry #5
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Another stab at this...
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Another stab at this... |
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Tramp Poet Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 754Could Be Anywhere... 
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Outlaw Dawn Sin all came crashin down, hard love most ever known, even dreamed, dead. Wee hours of darkest, coldest, winter night alone, broken, crazy, out of head. Gun barrel freezin to wet cheek heavy metal shakin out lonely blues. Twisted love poundin, tearin out the speakers been here so many times, why it feelin new? God whisperin to hold on til dawn ain’t thinkin, can’t stand no more wait. Filled with molten lava called sorrow freezin out, insides burnin with hate. Nother day, stoned cold, hatin sick and tired o’ being sick and tired. Pain, sorrow, alone...Ghost be talkin history stayin, whether drunk or wired. God whisperin again, won’t leave it alone memories, seein a little boy a prayin. was it me, nother night so long ago hey speak up God, i need to hear what you’re sayin... D.J.Burt 9/99 Wendy Isle (all rights reserved) there is only one... Romans 10:9-10 |
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| © Copyright 2000 Daniel James Burt - All Rights Reserved | |||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
You've painted a vivid picture of despair... Well done! |
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Betty Gravitt Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 222Georgia United States |
I agree with suthern, a vivid picture indeed. B Gravitt |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
Hey Dan, I'm glad you posted this but it was posted before. I posted it for you under my screen name with credit in your name etc I think in Open POetry #1 or 2. Sometimes my brain feels like swiss cheese. Couldn't have anything to do with the 60's I wouldn't think..LOL Anyway I'm glad you reposted it. If you can find it it is under Outlaw Dawn and had some really neat replies to it. There was another you sent that I posted for you but I can't remember the name of it right now. Have to back up everything now. My new computer will be here in about an hour. Love you lots Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Very powerful writing here. In the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. (ee cummings) |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Very powerful work... like the style, different from most here in PIP. Welcome. [This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (edited 01-06-2000).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Just had to look at something titled "another stab at this" by "bleeding"....and I'm glad I did. This is a powerful, stark poem without frills. Good writing. |
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Tramp Poet Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 754Could Be Anywhere... |
appreciate the feedback, thank y'all! there is only one... Romans 10:9-10 |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Bleeding-wow, this is very powerful, Very Good!! enjoyed it!  What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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