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Passions in Poetry

Another stab at this...

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Tramp Poet
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 786
Could Be Anywhere...


0 posted 01-06-2000 02:01 PM       View Profile for Tramp Poet   Email Tramp Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Tramp Poet's Home Page   View IP for Tramp Poet


Outlaw Dawn

Sin all came crashin down, hard
love most ever known, even dreamed, dead.
Wee hours of darkest, coldest, winter night
alone, broken, crazy, out of head.

Gun barrel freezin to wet cheek
heavy metal shakin out lonely blues.
Twisted love poundin, tearin out the speakers
been here so many times, why it feelin new?

God whisperin to hold on til dawn
ainít thinkin, canít stand no more wait.
Filled with molten lava called sorrow
freezin out, insides burnin with hate.

Nother day, stoned cold, hatin
sick and tired oí being sick and tired.
Pain, sorrow, alone...Ghost be talkin
history stayin, whether drunk or wired.

God whisperin again, wonít leave it alone
memories, seein a little boy a prayin.
was it me, nother night so long ago
hey speak up God,
i need to hear what youíre sayin...

D.J.Burt 9/99
Wendy Isle
(all rights reserved)



  there is only one...
Romans 10:9-10
© Copyright 2000 Daniel James Burt - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


1 posted 01-06-2000 02:32 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

You've painted a vivid picture of despair... Well done!
Betty Gravitt
Member
since 09-11-99
Posts 225
Georgia United States


2 posted 01-06-2000 03:06 PM       View Profile for Betty Gravitt   Email Betty Gravitt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Betty Gravitt

I agree with suthern, a vivid picture indeed.

 B Gravitt


PhaerieChild
Senior Member
since 08-30-99
Posts 1829
Aloha, Oregon


3 posted 01-06-2000 03:12 PM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

Hey Dan, I'm glad you posted this but it was posted before. I posted it for you under my screen name with credit in your name etc I think in Open POetry #1 or 2. Sometimes my brain feels like swiss cheese. Couldn't have anything to do with the 60's I wouldn't think..LOL Anyway I'm glad you reposted it. If you can find it it is under Outlaw Dawn and had some really neat replies to it. There was another you sent that I posted for you but I can't remember the name of it right now. Have to back up everything now. My new computer will be here in about an hour. Love you lots

 Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream.

Shawna R. Holder
Boise, Idaho

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


4 posted 01-06-2000 03:12 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Very powerful writing here.

 In the dew of little things,
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.
(ee cummings)
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


5 posted 01-06-2000 04:07 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

Very powerful work... like the style, different from most here in PIP. Welcome.

[This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (edited 01-06-2000).]
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


6 posted 01-06-2000 05:44 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Just had to look at something titled "another stab at this" by "bleeding"....and I'm glad I did. This is a powerful, stark poem without frills. Good writing.
Tramp Poet
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 786
Could Be Anywhere...


7 posted 01-07-2000 04:31 AM       View Profile for Tramp Poet   Email Tramp Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tramp Poet's Home Page   View IP for Tramp Poet

appreciate the feedback, thank y'all!


  there is only one...
Romans 10:9-10
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


8 posted 01-07-2000 04:37 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Bleeding-wow, this is very powerful, Very Good!! enjoyed it!  

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


 
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