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Passions in Poetry

The Colors of January - A Villanelle for Balladeer

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Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


0 posted 01-06-2000 10:04 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

THE COLORS OF JANUARY

What are the shades of January hues
They are the colored wing of Cardinal red
They are the colored wing of Blue Jay blues

Why do you tell me now unwelcomed news
Knowing what my winter heart would dread
What are the shades of January hues

Why would you now my tender heart accuse
Through darkened tones of bitter words unsaid
They are the colored wing of Blue Jay blues

Why did you then my willing love refuse
And grey the sky and brown the flower bed
What are the shades of January hues

Why does this madness now my soul confuse
What saddened colors my poor heart has bled
They are the colored wing of Blue Jay blues

Will e'er my spirit sing at winter views
The sight of holly green and holly red
What are the shades of January hues
They are the colored wing of Blue Jay blues

Elizabeth Santos




[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 01-06-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
Denise
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since 08-22-99
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1 posted 01-06-2000 10:10 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Beautiful, Elizabeth!  

Nan- Is this a villanelle now? I wouldn't know, but it is soooooooo beautiful!

 Denise

Nan
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since 05-20-99
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Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


2 posted 01-06-2000 10:17 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

It works, Elizabeth.... It does, it does....

Know what? I'd make one contraction for the sake of your perfect iambic pentameter (probably just my Bahstun accent).... What if you were to take the "v" out of ever in the first line of the last stanza?
"Will e'er my spirit sing at winter views"
... I'm such a metered wench....
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


3 posted 01-06-2000 10:32 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Nan,
THANK YOU!
It's done.
I'm a meter nut, too, and didn't notice it
Liz
hoot_owl_rn
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since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


4 posted 01-06-2000 01:29 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Man Girl....you certainly do catch on fast and well  
Seymour Tabin
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since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


5 posted 01-06-2000 02:07 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Elizabeth,
I am so proud of you, you are a very quick learner and a wonderful poetess. Just love your words no matter what the form.
*L* Sy
Elizabeth
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America the beautiful


6 posted 01-06-2000 02:20 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Wonderfully done, Elizabeth! Villanelles are tough aren't they?

Elizabeth

 "Boys and girls together, me and Mamie O'Rourke
Tripped the light fantastic on the sidewalks of New York."


Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


7 posted 01-06-2000 02:40 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

By Jove, I think she's got it!!! Nice work, Elizabeth! You, along with Nan, may consider yourselves Meter Maids First Class!! The cigar is yours!

Undoubtedly, a sestina will be a walk in the park. After that, we'll get into some toughies!
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


8 posted 01-06-2000 04:19 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Hoot, Thank you kindly

Sy,
I appreciated your comments, Professor Tabin

Elizabeth,
I thought this was very easy since half the poem is already predetermined. It's just a matter of filling in the blanks. I wrote this very fast, and it could be much improved upon if I would take the time
Thanks, Elizabeth

Mr. Balladeer, I don't know what a sestina is, but I've heard it mentioned. Thank you for your comments, and where's the mulligan? I don't smoke cigars.

Liz
Severn
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since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


9 posted 01-06-2000 04:34 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Liking this a lot Lizzy...(there: can't do verse but can do assonance! LOL!!!)

Wow - I am impressed...I would find this incredibly hard to do - entrenched in FV as I am. Well done my friend - many pats on back.

 '...I want to be free - free to know people and their backgrounds - free to move to different parts of the world...' Sylvia Plath

[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 01-07-2000).]
Balladeer
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


10 posted 01-06-2000 05:40 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

If you have to ask where your mulligan is, then Sy didn't explain it very well.

SESTINA
A fixed form consisting of six 6-line (usually unrhymed) stanzas in which the end words of the first stanza recur as end words of the following five stanzas in a successively rotating order and as the middle and end words of each of the lines of a concluding envoi in the form of a tercet. The usual ending word order for a sestina is as follows:
First stanza, 1- 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6
Second stanza, 6 - 1 - 5 - 2 - 4 - 3
Third stanza, 3 - 6 - 4 - 1 - 2 - 5
Fourth stanza, 5 - 3 - 2 - 6 - 1 - 4
Fifth stanza, 4 - 5 - 1 - 3 - 6 - 2
Sixth stanza, 2 - 4 - 6 - 5 - 3 - 1
Concluding tercet:
middle of first line - 2, end of first line - 5
middle of second line - 4, end of second line - 3
middle if third line - 6, end of third line - 1

You done yet???
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
11 posted 01-06-2000 08:35 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Elizabeth, this is just wonderful...
Bittersweet and beautiful...

 A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!
Shannon


whiskey
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Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


12 posted 01-06-2000 08:46 PM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

This is excellent , Liz you are so Talented  
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


13 posted 01-06-2000 08:59 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Pepper and Whiskey, you warm my heart
Thank you
Liz
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


14 posted 01-06-2000 09:04 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Kamla, Thanks, sweetheart. You are so dear.
I didn't see your response cause sometimes my mouse slips down the page too fast. I'll talk to you tomorrow
Liz

Balladeer, Thanks for all your trouble. I got half a sestina done. I'll post it tomorrow. I don't see the sense of it, exept as an exercise in patience. But I must see it completed first. Thank you
Liz
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


15 posted 01-06-2000 09:55 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

ok, Elizabeth. I'll wait for it. Life, itself, is an exercise in patience.
 
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