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Passions in Poetry

A non-villanelle for Balladeer

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Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


0 posted 01-05-2000 06:46 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Greed

Those who are the lucky to be freed
Would suffocate if not allowed to speak
Accustomed are we in expression's need

Censorship was planted by the seed
Of leaders who would tramp upon the weak
Hungry in their overpowering greed

A country built on honor and on deed
Succumbed to men of disposition weak
Who didn't care the hungry mouths to feed

For dictator when given power to lead
Siphon all the profit of the meek
With guns and army threaten souls to bleed

Then taking captive those of different breed
Who dared the truth in open forum speak
Took many lives in all their hungry greed

A giant of a country now is freed
But hungry still are many of the weak
For decades those dictators stole the feed
Of wealthy land still unfulfilled in need

Elizabeth Santos




[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 01-06-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


1 posted 01-05-2000 07:55 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

This is very powerful writing and full of thought. I don't know about the villanelle part, but I thought it was great writing.
Seymour Tabin
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since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


2 posted 01-05-2000 08:38 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Dearest Elizabeth,
You have written a beautiful poem, however it is not a villanelle. It is to long to explain the structure of a villanelle, but I will write you tonight and and give you the structure and will send you one to see.
Love Sy
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


3 posted 01-05-2000 08:42 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

A wonderful poem, Elizabeth!  

 Denise

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


4 posted 01-05-2000 08:55 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Martie, Thanks and I will e-mail you shortly

Dear Sy, Yes, I would like some instruction on this, as I got my information on the net as five stanzas of three lines and one stanza of four lines. Thanks
Liz

Denise, Thank you and I'll be in touch. Hope to get together soon
Liz
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


5 posted 01-05-2000 09:09 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

This non-villlanelle is still an excellent poem but I'll hold on to the cigar. I will, however, give you a mulligan (Sy can also explain that one)
Pepper
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since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
6 posted 01-05-2000 09:18 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

I will echo Martie, Liz....no matter what type of poetry this is...it is definetly powerful and excellent writing......and too true!



 A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!
Shannon


Denise
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since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


7 posted 01-05-2000 09:21 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Elizabeth-how about this Saturday?  

 Denise

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


8 posted 01-05-2000 09:27 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Mr. Balladeer,
I'll wait for Sy's explanation and then I'll write you a villanelle. And please hold on to your cigar!(This stuff is all new to me. It's lots of fun)
Thanks,
Liz

Pepper, Glad you liked it. Talk to you soon
Liz

Denise, You're on for this weekend!. I'll e=mail you
Liz

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


9 posted 01-05-2000 09:42 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Sy, Thank you for your e-mail and explanation, very helpful.
From your student in poetry,
Liz
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


10 posted 01-05-2000 09:52 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Elizabeth,
There is no light like your light
and no write like your write.
Love Sy
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


11 posted 01-05-2000 10:10 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Sy,
And there is no kind
Like your mind
And no find
Like your kind
Liz
Severn
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since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


12 posted 01-06-2000 01:26 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Who needs a label or a structure?!

Wonderful as it is, I insist! And since I am never wrong...hehehehehe



 '...I want to be free - free to know people and their backgrounds - free to move to different parts of the world...' Sylvia Plath
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


13 posted 01-06-2000 01:58 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Severn,
I've never known you to be wrong, my dear
Liz
Nan
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Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


14 posted 01-06-2000 09:10 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

This is a wonderful "non" villanelle.... I like it lots... You can also check in the poetry workshop for the format... Just click on "show all subjects" so you date back to the beginning - it's there....
Nice job here....
 
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