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Passions in Poetry

The Tomato Vendetta

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Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


0 posted 01-05-2000 09:08 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Toerag

As many of you know my love of Mason Williams' nonsense is almost like an addiction...This is one of his.

This song's about the Tomato Vendetta,
And the tale of a man who let a
Hate for tomatos cause him strife,
He lost his job, wife, home, car, kids and life

He'd go downtown to buy some groceries
He went because his family was hungry
He always bought bread, meat and potatos
But he wouldn't touch those ugly tomatos

He didn't know why he hated tomatos
They just were as ugly as far as ugly goes
There in the store, when no one was watching
He'd set melons on them and laugh at their squashing

One night after shopping and on his way home
His loathing for tomatos cut to the bone
He just couldn't stand the strain anymore
He vowed to destroy the tomato horde

He turned around and viciously hopin'
The grocery stores would still be open
His eyes grew cold, for he was a man
Whose moment of truth was close at hand

All over town in every store
Tomatos were hurt and spilled on the floor
Big melons and turkeys and large sacks of grits
Were dumped on their sections to mash them to bits

At the last store he finished his plan
But on his way out a delivery van
Full of big ripe tomatos drove in and hit him
Tomato Vendetta had claimed it's victim

The incident of the Tomato Vendetta
Caused a sensation, it was something that the
Public could relish and readily snatch up
Popularly known as the tomato catch up.
© Copyright 2000 Toerag - All Rights Reserved
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
1 posted 01-05-2000 09:13 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

LOL....Thanks for sharing Toe..
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


2 posted 01-05-2000 09:13 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

ROFL... I love it!!!  Thanks for sharing this with us, Toe... It brightened the smiles your poems had already plastered on my face. *G*

If nonsense is an addiction, I hope they don't find the cure! *G*
whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


3 posted 01-05-2000 09:28 AM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

This is funny thanks for the read Toe  
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


4 posted 01-05-2000 10:20 AM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

hehehehe...thanks for sharing, Toe!  

 Denise

broker6
Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 130
Bellevue, NE, Sarpy


5 posted 01-05-2000 10:26 AM       View Profile for broker6   Email broker6   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for broker6

toerag . . . what a groaner . . . what a groaner!   )
Iloveit
Senior Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 1168
NM


6 posted 01-05-2000 10:37 AM       View Profile for Iloveit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Iloveit

lol yep liked this alot too, no wonder you like his work.....now if only he knew about this erotic trick I heard on the radio that you could do with a half a tomato....lol...he might never have had to die....*g*
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


7 posted 01-05-2000 07:59 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

I love tomatoes,er, yes, I still love tomatoes.  Great poem Toe and fuuuunnnyyy.  I wouldn't dare not love tomatoes.
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


8 posted 01-05-2000 08:06 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

You my Brother Toe are one sick puppy! LOL... You know that tomatos are a fruit? Yes... echos of the great produce war... Ah I hear it now... (damn but that was fun!).  
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 09-26-1999
Posts 2646
Ontario, Canada


9 posted 01-05-2000 08:26 PM       View Profile for Marilyn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marilyn

Shocked that you would turn on a friut like that Toe! Though if it weren't for this happenstance my cousin would be lacking his favorite food. LOL
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


10 posted 01-05-2000 09:07 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

LMAO!  I needed this one bad buddy! Thanks

 <*\\\><
Where there is faith,
there is love.
Where there is love,
there is peace.
Where there is peace,
there is GOD.
Where there is GOD,
there is no need.

Hallmark


 
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