How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #5 Archive
 Which One of You Do I Choose?
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Which One of You Do I Choose?

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


0 posted 01-04-2000 12:45 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Elizabeth Santos


(Title changed at Septsong's suggestion)
Which One of You Do I Choose?
Stuctured  vs.  Free Verse

I love music and I love verse
In both I dive in full submerse
And mix the two into a stew
Of words and sounds that sound like new

My bones and fingers start to ooze
With tapping rhythms that I choose
And rhyming words that tease and please
Gush out my poet pen with ease

I like the sound of verse in rhyme
It tickles me like sparkling wine
It feels so perfect and complete
A wrapped up package, nice and neat

So much sweeter is a meter
Making phrases toss and teeter
Carving music out of words
That chime and sing like warbling birds

But somehow
I falter...


at the simple notion

of diving head first
into free verse

into a bottomless
unbounded
poetic ocean

you think twice before diving
when you know
you never learned how
to swim

and I tend to just dabble my toes
into the shallow waters

just around
that great body of words
that float in the sea

and wash up

to meet my ankles
along the ocean's rim

But rhyme and rhythmic beat I love
They fit my hand just like a glove
Whenever structured verse I chance
My pen gets up and starts to dance!

Elizabeth Santos

(And I greatly admire the masters of free verse)


[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 01-04-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
Seaangel
Member
since 07-27-99
Posts 172
Auckland, New Zealand


1 posted 01-04-2000 12:55 AM       View Profile for Seaangel   Email Seaangel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seaangel

Absolutely #$&#*$&# fantastic, Elizabeth!!!
While I don't think you are quite the novice you make yourself out to be, since your other free-verse poem was good, I understand the idea of this poem, since I am kinda the same about structured verse. Whatever we've achieved with our own writing, there always seems to be a lot more to explore and conquer. You're moving in an interesting direction and I am waiting to see some more.

By the way the movement between Free and Structured in the poem is delightfully free of structure!!!
Songbird
Member Elite
since 12-15-1999
Posts 2211
California


2 posted 01-04-2000 12:58 AM       View Profile for Songbird   Email Songbird   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Songbird's Home Page   View IP for Songbird

Wow this is great, very entertaining!  The title needs to be a little more entriguing, almost didn't pick it but I am glad I did it is definitely not boring.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


3 posted 01-04-2000 01:11 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Liz, this is very neat the way you combined the two styles into one verse  
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


4 posted 01-04-2000 07:06 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Seaangel, Thank you for your very kind response. I'm glad you enjoyed reading this
Liz

Sertsong, Great suggestion, it did really sound like a chapter heading in Eng Lit 101
text. Glad you liked the poem

Thanks Hoot, I'm going through a dry spell, just playing around.
whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


5 posted 01-04-2000 09:00 AM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

Liz,
This is great, clever how you used both styles, well done  
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


6 posted 01-04-2000 10:54 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Elizabeth,
Your playing is like baying at the moon.
Your poem to me sings a golden tune.
Wonderfully done, excellent. *L* Sy
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


7 posted 01-04-2000 10:59 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Nice job Lizzie!...Now then, what's this? Ya wanna dabble with Toe?......I know, you're just tryin' to get me off the "Whiskey" right?....LOL
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


8 posted 01-04-2000 11:12 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Great poem, Liz!!! Whatever the style, your words are always worth a read... or two or three! *S*
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


9 posted 01-04-2000 11:19 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Whiskey, Thank you dear, and don't listen to Toe. He's got a girlfriend, you know.
Liz

Sy,
Thank you for your words of praise
You've got me in poetic daze
And lift me up in many ways
Thank you
Liz

Toe, Thanks for your comments on the poem. Glad to see you back here, but keep in mind I'm watching you. You better be good!
Love ya,
Liz

Suthern
How sweet your compliments,
Thank you so much
Liz
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


10 posted 01-04-2000 06:46 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

You never cease to amaze me, Elizabeth! Excellent and clever!  Dry spell? I'd settle for a dry spell like this!  

 Denise

Eloise
Senior Member
since 11-27-1999
Posts 1115
Wyoming


11 posted 01-04-2000 06:53 PM       View Profile for Eloise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Eloise

Elizabeth,  I love this one.  Structured is the one for me.  Excellent writing.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


12 posted 01-04-2000 09:42 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Denise, Thank you so much. see you soon?
Liz

Eloise,
Yes I noticed your verses are similar to mine.
Thank you'Liz
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


13 posted 01-04-2000 10:21 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Liz:  How ever you choose to write and what ever you choose to say, I am always in awe of your poetic talent.

 In the dew of little things,
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.
(ee cummings)
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
14 posted 01-04-2000 10:30 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

I will echo all above....we seem to be in agreement Liz....your poetry is Awesome!
Wonderful piece here dear!

 A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!
Shannon


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


15 posted 01-04-2000 11:06 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Liz,

It would truly be  a crime
For you to ever forsake rhyme.
Structured verse runs through your veins
Like raindrops down a windowpane

And it could even be much worse
To turn you back on good free verse.
You still maintain the perfect meter
To make each line sound all the sweeter

The world will really go to Hell
If you stop writing villanelles
And you will make me scream "Doggonit!"
If I don't see a Santos sonnet!

In other words, my dear, just write..
I'll read each offering with delight
Though form may switch 'tween verse and free
You'll always have a fan in me.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


16 posted 01-04-2000 11:09 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Martie, From your mouth, that is a compliment, indeed. Thanks so much for reading my poems.
Liz

Pepper, this one is just for fun, Thank you for your sweet comments
Liz
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


17 posted 01-04-2000 11:40 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Bravo! Bravo!

 <*\\\><
Where there is faith,
there is love.
Where there is love,
there is peace.
Where there is peace,
there is GOD.
Where there is GOD,
there is no need.

Hallmark


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


18 posted 01-05-2000 12:04 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Lizzy - that you can do both is a true testament to your capabilities...(as I have told 'deer - I AM going to do a sonnet soon - metered, rhymed and all!) Do whatever comes out of your heart, I reckon.
'Tis a great poem btw

(Notice signature?!)

K


 '...I want to be free - free to know people and their backgrounds - free to move to different parts of the world...' Sylvia Plath
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


19 posted 01-05-2000 06:05 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Mr, Balladeer,
That was so sweet, and one of these days I'll write a sonnet just for you
Thank you

Whtdove, Thank you! Thank you!

Kamla,
Yes, I think it would be great for you to write a rhyming verse. I would be so "Warm fuzzied"
Liz
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


20 posted 01-05-2000 06:45 AM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Elizabeth: Your poems are always worth the read so I'll say both, one of each, each day...*g*

HUSG

 Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn.

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


21 posted 01-05-2000 07:30 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

And thank you so much for reading, Rainbow
Liz
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


22 posted 08-16-2004 12:41 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

nicely done
 
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #5 >> Which One of You Do I Choose? Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors