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Open Poetry #5
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Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion

0 posted 2000-01-03 08:22 PM


Please forgive naivete and ignorance,
they seem to be lacking compass
for an exodus of time now passed,
vast in terms of vacillation.

Against fierce riptides, with religious conviction
swimming in dimensions of life, love, and sin,
we crashed in worry, signs of salvation
safeguarded in the mirroring clouds.

Spinning slowly, orbiting planets
smashed elongated echoes that veiled you.
Even silver vanishes in Venus’s palms,
sea green silk you were in her eyes.

Even though we could not touch,
it was made more delicious by
the salty spray of someday.

(c) 2000 Corinne Bailey


© Copyright 2000 Corinne - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 2000-01-03 08:30 PM


Oh, Corinne, I love this! So beautiful!

Great picture, too! I see that you zoomed it in a bit! (maybe someday I will be able to figure out my scanner and how it works!)


 Denise


Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
2 posted 2000-01-03 08:59 PM


thank you, Denise!  

Actually, someone must have zoomed it in for me!

Hilarious, huh?

Corinne

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

3 posted 2000-01-03 09:00 PM


Well, that's service for ya, huh?! hehehe  

 Denise


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
4 posted 2000-01-03 11:20 PM


Beautiful poem  
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

5 posted 2000-01-04 06:10 AM


Corinne, I think this is magical.
Well done.

 ...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara

whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278
Australia
6 posted 2000-01-04 09:38 AM


Wonderful poem  
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
7 posted 2000-01-04 02:21 PM


Thank you, Hoot_Owl_m, Severn and Whiskey!

Corinne

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
8 posted 2000-01-04 02:48 PM


Nicely done Ms. Corinne....keep up the talent you so obviously have...
Dreamer_556
Junior Member
since 2000-01-04
Posts 34

9 posted 2000-01-04 03:11 PM


I am lost for words! (Which is unusual I must say!).
That is an outstanding piece of work.

~*Dreamer*~

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
10 posted 2000-01-04 03:32 PM


Corinne - you are a very deep lady, and I mean that in the best of terms.  Your gift for free verse is unbelievable.
jaxjoy
Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 112
Texas
11 posted 2000-01-04 03:39 PM


Brilliant!!!!  I especially liked the third stanza.  This is breathtaking!  
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
12 posted 2000-01-04 09:29 PM


Wow!  You people know how to make a girl blush (and it ain't so pretty when an Irish woman blushes, red on top of red!).  

Thank you, Toerag, LngJhnAg and JaxJox - for such kind words!

Corinne

Sonny
Junior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 29
Schenectady, NY, USA
13 posted 2000-01-05 11:09 AM


Corinne -

   Your poem is like a painting in progress with then ending like a promise to complete the masterpiece when 'someday' finally arrives.
   The image evoking lines are almost too much for me to fathom.  It transcends the creativity of my mind - making me wish for the gift to accurately imagine your cosmological imagery.  My heart, if not my mind, is completely in tune with your poem, though.  Excellent writing.

Sonny

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

14 posted 2000-01-06 03:02 PM


Wonderful poem. I truly enjoyed your thoughts so elequantly expressed.
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