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Roller Coaster Farewell
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Roller Coaster Farewell |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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I'm tired of those tumultous rides That shake and rattle my insides And make my heart stick in my throat Like pain without an antidote Portraying love that can't be found..... The roller coaster's closing down. No more to sit upon that seat And watch the world beneath my feet Spin uncontrolled before my eyes As I am held in rapt surprise While being lifted off the ground..... The roller coaster's closing down. There was a time I loved the thrill Of being carried up the hill, A skyward trip toward Heaven's door With promised happiness in store But, each time that I neared the top, There came an unexpected drop - - - Which tore apart my very soul As I spun down without control Toward the earth to crash once more As all my hopes had done before To leave my sanity unwound..... The roller coaster's closing down. So speak to me no more of love Or thoughts to raise my head above The clouds in false expectancy Of things that are not meant for me. I'll settle for a merry-go-round..... The roller coaster's closing down. [This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 01-03-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Oh my, this seems sad to me. Life without roller coasters I could not fathom. I'll never stop thrill seeking me thinks. I'll be bungi jumping out the rest home windows when I'm 85 should I live that long. Great poem, Balladeer. Michael |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Come on Balladeer....you can't just give up! The next ride might just be the best one yet! Besides, merry-go-rounds just make you dizzy!  Great poem, btw!Denise |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
Okay okay.....now you have gone and done it Balladeer.....You have gone and done it. You have just wrote my favorite work of yours.  Life's rollercoasters are hard to live by and I hate to see anything close down. Seems like when my rollercoaster closes....I will be dead.Being in love with someone is more than just saying "I love you" |
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Tamera Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 121 |
Balladeer, You cannot give up! I can understand, still, I agree, the next one just might be the best ride yet! Wonderful poem! Tamera |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
No, folks. Deer's right. From now on it's gonna be the Tilt-A-Whirl! Nice work deer! |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Oh 'Deer, might I just suggest a simple "time-out" from all the dizziness for awhile....Rollercoasters due tend to make one queasy, however - rest for a bit on your merry-go-round, and then jump back on for the thrill of a lifetime when you're sure your hamburger will stay down, ok? ROFLatchu!  What a masterpiece you have here! One of my favs too! I can surely relate! ARGH ** I'm reaching for the brightest star I've ever seen - knock my ladder out from under me, and you'll wish you hadn't !! -pFF ** Here's to 2000! |
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Seaangel Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 167Auckland, New Zealand |
True love is not the rollercoaster, but the person who sits next to you holding your hand during the ride. Don't give up. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I absolutely love rollercoasters and the thrill they give. Isn't life itself like a big wild rollercoaster ride full of ups and downs and twists and turns....my only hope is, when it comes to an end, there's someone sitting next to me holding my hand. Wonderful job Balladeer |
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
A really nice piece, I could really feel that rollercoaster and I know the feeling oh so well. I think that is what life is but we all want to get off and rest awhile. Going to save this one. Thanks for the read. |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I know this feeling well my friend. I love roller coasters but the ride that love gives you is harder. I think giving up on them completely is not the way to go. We need to be more cautious of the ride we choose to take. We must make sure that at the end of the ride there is someone still holding our hand....or maybe more aptly....rubbing our back as we loose our cookies? |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Balladeer, Now you know you can't stop the world and get off. You just wanted to get a rise out of alot of people and you knew just how to do it. Your poetry has always been on a pedestal to me so I don't have to tell you how good this one was. Sy |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Good analogy, bad decision. I have always believed that it is our very nature to love -- to deny that would be to deny ourselves. You may as well just dig a hole and cover yourself up!  Thought provoking verse, as usual. --Kess You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Now deer, what about that girl in the shower and you taking pictures--Seriously, great poem and the ride that life takes us on is pretty scary sometimes and not always kind, but well worth the ride. In the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. (ee cummings) |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Mr. Balladeer, I suggest a nice hot bath A couple aspirin for your head Take your mind off rollercoasters Have a beer and go to bed I guarantee by tomorrow night You'll be riding high just like a kite Incidently, this poem was great! Liz |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
Some of the hills will do this but remember the ride. I like to think i will find the hill that always climbs. A great poem none the less. Thank you......Bojopy |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
Some of the hills will do this but remember the ride. I like to think i will find the hill that always climbs. A great poem none the less. Thank you......Bojopy |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Bal: If you ride and feel sick: get off .. however, if you ride and feel exhilarated; sick with apprehension; eyes that feel as though they're on fire, then that's entirely normal...and you can't get off cause life ain't like that, so enjoy the ride and I'll give you a hug when it's over...*g* Great Poem HUSG Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ok OK....you guys are all right. I'm claiming poetic license. I never have, and never will, feel this way. I'm the guy clutching the rail with both hands while they're trying to drag me off!!! Your responses are great....and another thing...I had an obvious typo in the first line and not one person tried to draw attention to it in their reply...another reason why you are truly special people. I thank you all...and I thank the poet who was kind enough to point it out in private. To the world you might be just one person but to one person you might just be the world. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
'Deer I've got to hand it you, old friend. Play the part of poor old Mr. Misery, and then scoop up the honeys as they rush to your side to console you in your moment of need. Man! Have you been talking to Toerag lately? This sounds like the nefarious shenanigans of that reprobate scalawag. (psst, 'Deer - may I use this poem on other boards??? Please?????) Incidently, this poem flowed so well and was very tight. Another masterpiece. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Poetic license--humph! LOL I knew it all along. |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Balladeer, what can I say that hasn't already been said. So I'll just stand and clap to the Master instead. |
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John Foulstone Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 100Australia |
Have you considered the Ferris Wheel? You still get to go up and down, but much more slowly. |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Balladeer-I'm just starting to get to know all of you, and I can definately say I appreciate your work! Thank you. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
And the voice today is...of a heart broken man - very convincing there too. Me like! K...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Is it too late to say that I love this one, Deer? I'm still trying to figure out a way to stay at the pinnacle, ya know????  |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
I am glad to see you expand your range into things you do not truly feel. When one writes as well as you do, it becomes a shame not to exercise that poetic license and write a plethora of perspectives. Just make sure that your audience knows which ones are truth and which are spun from the creative mind of an inspired writer. Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© ------------------------------------------------------- "Either kill me or take me as I am, because I'll be damned if I ever change..." Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade (Marquis de Sade) |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
loved this.....yep....*she says* "loved this" *as she clutches her ticktets for the next ride in her hand and wonders....* great poem |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I knew a heart as big as yours couldn't slam the door on love... but the poem is superb!!! Great job, Balladeer! |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
Enjoyed this very much Balladeer. I relate so very well to this. Verse three is my most favorite Jenny Lee Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual. |
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Fred Hobbs Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329Tallahassee, Florida, US |
Balladeer! Good Poem! |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Tumultous?...That blows the hell out of that response..ya think?..LOL...great poem...great thought...but loves lost and hearts broken make ya a bunch more nauseous than a carnival ride don't ya think?....I hold tight, enter the "ride" brave..and end up being the one thrown off so frequently?...Ya think it's my breath?......Yea, I know....it's not my breath.....after all....Bud doesn't smell that bad......Nice job Bally..as always... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
hehe. Thanks for the great replies! DreamEvil, I know of nowhere in poetic rules where it states the author must make sure the reader knows if it's fantasy or fiction. That's one of the beauties of creative writing. If someone believes it's true when it's not, that is a compliment to the writer. Poetry can be used to recount true experiences or to delightfully deceive....but I'm sure you know that. LongJohn, use it with my blessings! |
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