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Passions in Poetry

Some Thoughts on Free Verse

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Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


0 posted 01-02-2000 08:57 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Some Thoughts on Free Verse

It's not the easiest thing for me
writing poetry
in a form
that has no form

when rhyming verse has always been
my device
for baring my soul

it was something I understood well
so simple
so precise
so comfortable and neat

it is quite easy
to funnel thoughts into
a neat package

the step ahead of you
well defined
a footprint that
fits your shoe perfectly

all you do is
match a thought
with a rhyming word
and make it fit the rhythmic mold

it's like music
the lyrics matching the tune
a game of filling in the blanks

it was quite easy for me
one who studied the languages
the portuguese and french
the mandarin and castilian

all the exact words for exact things
memorized sounds
that always fit
into the mold of syntax

But free verse
is a freefall
into an infinate space
with no defining boundaries

the invisible rules of
FREE

and I feel like
I'm jumping off the edge of a pier
into a lake for the first time

my eyes tell me to jump
but the foot
wants to cling to the boards

afraid of the unknown
unable to see
below the surface
of the dark waters

and I miss that
footprint of thought
that always told my words where to go
and how to
fall into place

but now I am FREE falling

into the newness
of poetry

I always thought free verse meant
that you have to
know
where to start and
where to end

but now I see
that poetry is the heart speaking

and how do you tell a heart
where to start and
where to end

you don't

it simply knows
and the poetry flows

Elizabeth Santos
© Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


1 posted 01-02-2000 09:02 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

...and this flows beautifully! Well done, Elizabeth! Another form that you have attempted and done very well with!

 Denise

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


2 posted 01-02-2000 09:03 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

There is no form that you would not excel in, even a formless one. I am a structure poet, personally, but I can certainly understand the difficulty of writing good free verse every time I attempt it. I just prefer the net up when I play tennis. This is excellent, Liz.
Eloise
Senior Member
since 11-27-1999
Posts 1115
Wyoming


3 posted 01-02-2000 09:17 PM       View Profile for Eloise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Eloise

Brave lady and you did well.  But then anything you attempt always flows so nicely.  I have a most difficult time with free verse so I don't attempt it often.
Eloise
Senior Member
since 11-27-1999
Posts 1115
Wyoming


7 posted 01-02-2000 09:30 PM       View Profile for Eloise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Eloise

Elizabeth, I am so sorry.  My telephone rang and cut me off when I reconnected  my message was resent and resent!  However, there are never enough nice things to say about your poetry.  Again, I apologize.    

LOL - No problem, Eloise - I was deleting them as fast as you were posting 'em.... teamwork, ya think?...

[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 01-02-2000).]
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


8 posted 01-02-2000 09:47 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Well, Elizabeth.... I have to agree - I have to format my poetry too..... You've done a great job here.... Most of these guys have seen my feeble attempt - but maybe you haven't.....

I am lost and foundering without my rhyme.
I wonder how you write free verse.
I hear iambics in my mind.
I see rhyming, miming, words in timing. (oops!)
I want to structure each of them
I am lost and foundering without my rhyme.

I pretend to let words freely flow
I feel the need to write a sonnet.
I touch more hearts with my pantoums.
I worry not when penning villanelles
I cry no tears when quilling paradelles (oops!)
I am lost and foundering without my rhyme.

I understand we each have styles to write.
I say that this should surely be all right (oops!)
I dream pentameter at night (darn!)
I try to write in free verse, but I can't.
I hope to meter my next quatrain
I am lost and foundering without my rhyme.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


9 posted 01-02-2000 10:01 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Elizabeth,
You have rare talent, and constantly amaze me
with your writing. I am in awe of your abilities. There is no meed for me to tell how good this poem is. Just keep well and keep writing. Love Sy
First__Knight
Senior Member
since 11-08-1999
Posts 688


10 posted 01-02-2000 10:20 PM       View Profile for First__Knight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for First__Knight

I like  how you have brought your thoughts forward and speak of the diffuclulties of free verse and as you do you write it free versed.  So very well done Liz.  Where on earth can you go now  

 Being in love with someone is more than just saying "I love you"


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


11 posted 01-02-2000 10:54 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Denise,
Thanks, dear and keep me posted!
Liz

Mr. Balladeer,
I dream in rhyme. I think I'm a wierdo that way, My conversations are verses and everything rhymes. If I wrote like Kamla or Martie, I'd prefer free verse
But I like the music of rhyme and meter
Thanks
Liz

Eloise,
With comments like yours, you may post as many as you want, my dear, Actually, if you hadn't said something, no one would ever have noticed. Thank you so much
Liz

Nan, Sy and First Knight,
Thank you all, fine poets
This poem is not intellectual, but it is sincere
Liz

Nan, I like your poem. You are a poet of my own heart!
Liz

[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 01-02-2000).]
Shrinking Violet
Junior Member
since 12-20-1999
Posts 39


12 posted 01-03-2000 01:02 AM       View Profile for Shrinking Violet   Email Shrinking Violet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Shrinking Violet

I am new to Passionate Forums and so, do not know your rhymed work. All I can say is that you seem completely at ease in the wilds of free verse.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


13 posted 01-03-2000 01:12 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Have I created a monster   Well done...maybe this will express my thoughts on your verse better  

Words
effortlessly formed
in liquid motion
with pen of ink
and written down
line
by line
for us to sink
our teeth into

Manna
is created
and we feast
on your soul
as it feeds life
into us

You pour out your heart
and it dribbles
into letters
that work their way
into ours
whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


14 posted 01-03-2000 02:43 AM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

Liz,
Your so talented I know anything you write is just great and free verse is just another form for you to write just how you feel , this is another great post from you, well done  

Julie
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


15 posted 01-03-2000 03:36 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

the talents that
show,
here in the land
of never be rhyme
are those to be envied
and awed!
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


16 posted 01-03-2000 06:44 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Violet,
I have only ever written in verse, this is my 3rd attempt at free verse.Thank you very much for reading and commenting

Hoot,
If you like it, that makes me happy. If you knew me, you would be as startled as my family. because I never wrote anything in my life, and have trouble even expressing myself verbally. So this meansa lot to me and I thank you for your help in bringing out the wall flower
Liz

Whiskey, You are very kind, my dear, but you must also realize that all of you have been my inspiration. Thank you.
Liz

Christopher.
I am at a loss of words for you, young man, for I  am so in awe of your work, so if you like my poem, it makes me smile, Thank you
Liz
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


17 posted 01-03-2000 10:38 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

   I can relate to the trepidation of writing free form , though with this poem it appears that you've begun to reconcile any reserve you've had, and very creatively, I might add.  
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
18 posted 01-03-2000 12:01 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Such a talent you are Elizabeth...this is excellent!

 A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!
Shannon


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


19 posted 01-03-2000 01:59 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

I feel about free verse the way you feel about the rhyme--it falls into place so easily for me, whereas the discipline of rhyme and meter totally baffle me.  You did this very well Liz, it flows like a breeze, effortless and free.

 In the dew of little things,
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.
(ee cummings)
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


20 posted 01-03-2000 03:55 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

(blushing)
Wow, I compliment your poem and get an incredible compliment back! You m'dear are too sweet!
Seaangel
Member
since 07-27-99
Posts 172
Auckland, New Zealand


21 posted 01-03-2000 05:52 PM       View Profile for Seaangel   Email Seaangel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seaangel

Well, everyone else has said it all, I can only say Ditto! Well done
Justbleu
Member Elite
since 08-31-99
Posts 3430
Oregon, Originally From Alaska


22 posted 01-20-2000 02:05 AM       View Profile for Justbleu   Email Justbleu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Justbleu's Home Page   View IP for Justbleu

This does flow wonderfully....I love free verse...it's all I know...structure fo me is constraining...I feel suffocated...and then get all worried that I'm not going to fit the right mold!!  So I just do my own thing!!
Thank You...I really enjoyed this a lot!!

Take Care
Bridgette
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


23 posted 01-20-2000 02:28 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Bridgette,
I want to thank you for resurrecting this poem simply because I never saw several responses as the poem slipped away. Since this, I haven't ventured back into free verse. i'll have to try it again
Thank you so much

CLAIRE,
Sorry I missed your comments on this, and thank you for your kind remarks
Liz

PEPPER
Thank you, young lady

MARTIE
I hope you happen to see this, you are one of the queens of free verse. I am still in awe of your work, and feel honored when you compliment my poetry
Thank you

SEAANGEL
Sorry I missed this response and I thank you

Liz

Tramp Poet
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 786
Could Be Anywhere...


24 posted 01-20-2000 02:37 AM       View Profile for Tramp Poet   Email Tramp Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Tramp Poet's Home Page   View IP for Tramp Poet

your piece marshalled the thoughts i have
struggled with for years, thank you.
my goodness so many poets who never sleep!
Is it a non-paying occupational hazard?
laughing into the beard while,
bleeding


  there is only one...
Romans 10:9-10
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


25 posted 01-20-2000 06:06 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

You
   of the rhyme
and the flow
  have just
            kissed a breeze
with your freeverse
voice
and you
    of the flowers
and fields
      and words gloried
through form
      have given a gift
to the craft
    of loose art...

well done Sister poet.

(Hope all is well - in my thoughts and prayers)

K

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


26 posted 01-20-2000 07:21 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Bleeding,
I never struggled with these thoughts til I met Kamla and Martie
But at any rate, I may just tru it again sometime,  This is an old poem back from Dec. It's time to try again
Thank you
Liz

Kamla,
OK, dear,you can stop showing off now, knowing that I can never catch up to you. Imagine, responding to my poem in an exquisite free verse. Of all the nerve. hehe
I'll talk to you later on tonight
Love
Liz


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


27 posted 01-20-2000 07:32 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

HUMPH!!!
Showing off...SHOWING OFF!!!!?

Whaddya mean 'can't catch up' anyway?

And what do you call your poem? It is WONDERFUL!!!

Tchtch - going to have to beat some belief into you, methinks...

Love you back...

K

 
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