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jaxjoy
Member

since 1999-12-14

Posts 112
Texas

0 posted 2000-01-02 03:57 PM

Silence
Within you
as your battle goes on.
The violent hush
of passion restrained.

Your words
once sweet as honey
seemed to drip from your lips
with such magic.

Your spell
enraptures me
Captures me
like prey
in the spider's
silken web.

I do not struggle
to escape
your manacles.
I quietly wait
to be devoured
consumed
To become part of you.

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

1 posted 2000-01-02 04:05 PM

This is beautiful! Very nice!

Denise

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

2 posted 2000-01-02 05:25 PM

Wow, in answer to your question on my forum...no, don't wait. Get this out there now...it's fantastic

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

3 posted 2000-01-02 05:30 PM

JaxJoy,
Enjoyed the read, nice job.

mama duck
Junior Member

since 1999-12-31

Posts 41
Northern California

4 posted 2000-01-02 05:43 PM

Captivating, visual, and beautiful. Chris

patchoulipumpkin
Member

since 2000-01-01

Posts 196
Bermuda

5 posted 2000-01-02 05:46 PM

cool read. My only comment, (i can't restrain myself) is that the poem seems to start off with an air of tragedy, inferring that there once was magic, that there once was honey, but doesn't pursue that tract. So i got a bit confused, in that to me their appears to be two divergent perspectives. I totally love the first two stanza's, really cool-the violent hush of passion restrained. In any case, its only my interpretation i could be reading too much into it. I did like it.

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

6 posted 2000-01-02 07:08 PM

I found this excellent, jaxjoy...
great freeverse.

...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara

jaxjoy
Member

since 1999-12-14

Posts 112
Texas

7 posted 2000-01-02 07:10 PM

I suppose I could elaborate PatchouliPumpkin...Yes, it is a tragedy, however the heart doesnt always cease to love
when it should. Love goes on despite seperation. Hope for renewal is a strong emotion as well. Hope that helps a little.

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

8 posted 2000-01-02 10:05 PM

I jaxjoyed, enjoy....um.... enjoyed, jaxjoy....

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

9 posted 2000-01-02 10:07 PM

Exellent work, I enjoyed it much!

*Krista Knutson*

~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack,
Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare,
Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water,
Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha

Tamera
Member

since 1999-12-28

Posts 121

10 posted 2000-01-03 05:21 PM

jaxjoy,
very visual, very beautiful...

tamera

Echo Rhayne
Senior Member

since 1999-09-17

Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA

11 posted 2000-01-04 05:51 PM

WoW, very good jaxjoy

LoL @ Nan

~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~

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