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Passions in Poetry

She Walks in Silence

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Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


0 posted 01-02-2000 02:06 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

She walks in silence
with head bowed
looking at the floor
always looking downward
never into my eyes

in tunnel vision
with no peripheral awareness
of those around her

What truth does she hide
from me
that she cannot look
for fear I'll see deep
into discovery

into the mirror of her mind
exposing the inner self

So young is she
to have a tortured eye
hiding truth

hiding pain
of experience
and horror

What shall I do
to make her look
at me
and perhaps smile

a smiling eye
so remote from her thoughts
not yet free to laugh

And I, curiously
watch her
hoping she will slip
and her glance
will accidently meet mine

I sit and wonder what's behind
the Cambodian eye
that cannot look up

not yet

not yet ready
to lift itself from the comfort
and security
of the tiled floor

not just yet

Elizabeth Santos


[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 01-02-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
Astraea
Member
since 11-09-1999
Posts 397
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm


1 posted 01-02-2000 02:14 AM       View Profile for Astraea   Email Astraea   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Astraea

Very lovely.  This one hit close inside.  Very beautiful.  Me like.

~Astraea

 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."

devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


2 posted 01-02-2000 04:34 AM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

Very beautiful poem Elizabeth, might I ask who this mysterious girl is?

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


3 posted 01-02-2000 08:00 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Astreaea, Thank you. this is my second attempt at free verse, which I have notice you write beautifully. I'm not very comfortable here yet.

Devina,
Her name is Sokunthvery. She was 14 years old when she came to my English class in the 70's, along with about 20 other teenagers from South Vietnam, Thailand and Cambodia, housed for a time at Fort Indiantown Gap in Pa. She saw the ravages of the Kmer Rouge and so did her 2 sisters who were also in my class. But this one didn't talk for a long time. Her sisters said she was intellectually incompetent, but I never believed it. She turned out to be my star student, was the first in the entire class to become gainfully employed after high school, and I met her on the street one day with nothing but smiles on her face.
Thanks for your comment
Liz
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


4 posted 01-02-2000 08:20 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Elizabeth,
Wonderful insight and a wonderful poem. The bits and pieces of your life that I've gleaned are showing you to be a very literate and very tall person. Once more great insight and wonderful poem.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


5 posted 01-02-2000 08:52 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Sy,
I'm not that tall, 5'6.5". But I do know a precious jewel when I see it, and she sparkled.
Thank you for the very kind comments
Liz
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


6 posted 01-02-2000 10:37 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Elizabeth - This is quite a story...How devastating the experiences these children endured - How wonderful a feeling to finally see that smile...
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


7 posted 01-02-2000 11:39 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Smiling and applauding here.....I knew you could do it and do it as wonderfully as this. Wonderful free verse Liz, your breaks come at proper times to accentuate things that need attention drawn to them. It flows smoothly to the end. You carry your storyline well and everything comes off clearly. Overall a very nice package that represents well done free verse. Big smiles here.
Hugs  
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


8 posted 01-02-2000 01:30 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

As much as I love your rhymes, this is certainly a powerful piece. There are times when the subject matter and the feeling involved get watered down when trying to fit them into rhyme schemes and that's when free verse is at its best....and you have used it excellently here.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


9 posted 01-02-2000 01:32 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

This is wonderful, Elizabeth! I'm so glad it had a happy ending. It is a shame that so many young children have to endure such horrors.

 Denise

Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
10 posted 01-02-2000 01:51 PM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

I echo all that has been said before me Liz, and add that this is an exquisite  piece....

 A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!
Shannon


broker6
Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 130
Bellevue, NE, Sarpy


11 posted 01-02-2000 02:44 PM       View Profile for broker6   Email broker6   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for broker6

hard hitting and right on target!
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


12 posted 01-02-2000 03:00 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Nan, Yes, hers was just one story. I had a boy in my class who got on the very last plane out of Saigon, and I asked how he had managed to get on that plane. He said there were thousands of people surrounding the plane, pushing and cramming. So his father had the children climb up on top of the crowd, walking on peoples heads and shoulders til they got to the plane. They all made it safely onto the plane.
Thanks, Nan, for the comments
Liz

Hoot, I had tears in my eyes when I read your comments. I wrote this as I do all my poems, very quickly, the first thing that comes out. This was written as fast as I can type. But your explanation of the difference
between prose and free verse was excellent, and so having read that, I felt no need to describe the girl at all. Thank you for your help and thank you for your lovely comments.
Liz

Balladeer, Thank you for reading and commenting. I always appreciate the opinions of those who have so much more experience with poetry than I do. Thos is all so new to me. Thanks
Liz
Denise, Thanks so much

Pepper, Thank you for reading and for the lovely comments. I've got to write you an e-mail
Liz
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


13 posted 01-02-2000 06:35 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Freeverse!
Wahoo!



I love this, Liz - it is sensitive, tender and as Ruth said - beautifully structured.

I am impressed my friend.

K

 ...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


14 posted 01-02-2000 06:56 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Kamla,
I am humbly bowing before the goddess of free verse, and thanking your reverence for kind remarks to this lowly peon of a poet.
Liz
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


15 posted 01-04-2000 02:54 AM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Wonderful free verse, terrific story, very good!!


 ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


16 posted 01-04-2000 02:58 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Lizzy!
  !!!!

You are a wonderful poet...and I will continue to say so - OK?

K


 ...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


17 posted 01-04-2000 05:35 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Elizabeth, this is absolutley wonderful!! and I agree with Severn, you are a truly wonderful poet!!  

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


18 posted 01-04-2000 07:21 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Echo, Thank you for reading this one which had slipped to the back. Appreciate your comment

Kamla, Gosh it's good to see you back, I can't stand it when you're not here, evn for a day
Liz

Dark Angel, Thank you and I would make that same comment about yourself,
Liz
whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


19 posted 01-04-2000 09:11 AM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

Liz, A wonderful story so glad the ending was happy I feel so much for these children and what they have to go through  
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


20 posted 01-04-2000 09:30 AM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Elizabeth: Well told, very well told..

HUGS

 Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn.

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


21 posted 01-04-2000 10:40 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Whiskey,
The South Vietnamese are very fun loving people, a true delight, a pleasure to teach. The Cambodians in my class had seen the most horror, it seems. It was more difficult for them. Thanks for commenting.
Liz

Rainbow, Thank you very much for your compliment
Liz
 
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