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Open Poetry #5
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Astraea
Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now

0 posted 2000-01-01 10:59 PM


We were that close, you see, so close that him and me became an us
Through all the years, I couldn't think of any shoulder I'd ever remember
The shoulder of his and the arms that held me just so
We used to laugh and play
We used to argue and apologize
We used to do a lot together
What happened to those happy times?

My loving friend, you were always there for me
Through all the pains and downs I've been through
One of the few to help support, you were always among them
You let me grow up as me and no one else

If I was acting the spoiled child
You wouldn't hesitate to tell me so
I hated you sometimes, yes, but I hated myself more
But I could never know
But you could never tell
How much you had let yourself love me

I hadn't realized who I was; you never let me forget
I thought we were friends, and grew into family
When I would run away
You were the guide I found in the darkness
And led me back
Whispering you couldn't let your sister in heart
Wander too far
But why, O why, didn't you ever tell me?
Why did you tell me I was more than that to you?

Just one more step, you told me, and I would be free
Free to go into your arms
Free to just be myself with you
And free from all the pains I've suffered

Just one more step, my O my, you make it sound so simple
"A step over a cliff?  What if I break on the rocks below?"
And you smiled, sadly, and so more fallen than I could ever know
You told me to give it more thought
Such a simple thing it was, knowing you
And yes, it was too simple to be believed

You're gone now
The memory's bittersweet
I thought I knew you so well, my own brother of the heart
But that night I said one phrase that seemed to break down your world
No, I didn't want to lose the friend I knew in you
No, I didn't want to risk being something more
No, I just couldn't take just one more step

You flew into a rage, called me horrible names
Bringing up memories I had once refused to forget
And were it not, you said, for the love you felt for me
I would have been dead that night as well

"Just one more step, that's all it would have taken,
But no, no, would you have thought for anyone
Except yourself?"

I was crying because I hadn't heard
I felt as if you had killed me, my heart and body hurting so much
But you disappeared that day, and though the pain has numbed
I still wonder about you sometimes
What would have happened,
What life would I be living now,
And what kind of pain would I know
Had I taken
Just one more step


 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."


© Copyright 2000 Tiffany - All Rights Reserved
Tamera
Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 121

1 posted 2000-01-01 11:36 PM


Astraea,
This is beautiful...I know what it is like to wonder "what if"...still, I feel as though we take the steps we do in life as they should be taken, they are our lessons...Thank you for sharing this..
Tamera

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2000-01-01 11:40 PM


You are very talented. This was captivating and sad.
I enjoyed reading it
Liz

whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278
Australia
3 posted 2000-01-02 12:10 PM


Beautiful but sad, Sometimes we think we should have taken some steps in life and feel as if we have chosen wrong but life usually leads us on the path we are destined to be walking down , the other paths are to learn from ,  

Julie

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
4 posted 2000-01-03 06:16 PM


Beautiful poem Astrea! You really can batch up a heartbreaking poem. Keep it up!

 Nathan

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