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Open Poetry #5
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jaxjoy
Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 112
Texas

0 posted 1999-12-30 05:54 PM




From your spark
I burst in flames
Fusion, fission, fueling
my fire.
Rage inside me
feels sharp as glass.
Fear inside me
I hope will pass.
Your heat consumes me,
leaves me barren
as a forest
you have touched,
burnt by your
enigmatic fury.
Share your water
with me.
Quench the fire
you  have built within.
Let  me smolder
through the night.

© Copyright 1999 Jacqueline Vachier - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
1 posted 1999-12-30 08:07 PM


Has anyone ever told you you are a very talented poet? If not, I'm telling you now. This is fantastic!!!
Femme's Father
Member
since 1999-10-30
Posts 58
Carrollton, TX, USA
2 posted 1999-12-30 08:34 PM


Each time I read this it keeps gettin' better
and I finally found the rhythm and started seeing the picture your words were painting..
very well written. I like the way you put your feelings into subtle parables..keep up the good work...james david

jaxjoy
Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 112
Texas
3 posted 1999-12-30 10:09 PM


Thank you so much.  I am so happy to hear that you enjoy my writing.  I like the supportive environment here at passions!!
whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278
Australia
4 posted 1999-12-30 10:13 PM


This is wonderful
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA
5 posted 2000-01-01 06:58 AM


I am with hoot on this one, you are a talented poet...great poem!


 ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~


Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

6 posted 2000-01-01 12:44 PM


Ditto! Excellent poem!

 Denise


Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho
7 posted 2000-01-01 02:16 PM


Vivid wording, painting a sharply emotional picture - after several readings, I'm still coming up with new possible scenarios; the main one being pleasurably obvious.  I really enjoy this one!  Well done.
jaxjoy
Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 112
Texas
8 posted 2000-01-01 07:18 PM


I appreciate your comments.  Thank you all very much.
mama duck
Junior Member
since 1999-12-31
Posts 41
Northern California
9 posted 2000-01-01 07:23 PM


Very nice--if it was on paper it might be too hot to touch. I enjoyed it a lot.
Chris

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
10 posted 2000-01-01 07:54 PM


Great poem here.  Love the symbolism you use.  This poem seems to urge me to ask for more somehow....


Michael

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
11 posted 2000-01-01 08:02 PM


Very deep words my friend, keep em comin!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

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