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Passions in Poetry

Opening His Letter (First Attempted Sonnet)

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Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


0 posted 12-30-1999 09:56 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Elizabeth Santos


Couldn't fool anybody with this acrostic


OPENING HIS LETTER

Will this letter leave me ever still
In quiet peace of mind and happiness
Laughing once again in childish thrill
Letting out a cry of joyful bliss

How can he not respond my tender love
Ever present in my quivering voice
Can he at last sing out the song of dove
Openly announcing its rejoice

My heart now trembles in its deep engage
Enveloped in white his poetry
Too afraid as I unwrap the folded page
Opening now the truth it holds for me

My heart gives out a tender sigh
Ecstatic in his lullaby

Elizabeth Santos


[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 12-30-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
Member Ascendant
since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


1 posted 12-30-1999 10:16 AM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

i hope he will come to you   nice verse!
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


2 posted 12-30-1999 10:19 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

wayoutwalt, should be called cleverwalt,
Thank you!
Pepper
Member Elite
since 08-19-99
Posts 3134
Southern Florida

Official Passions Reader
3 posted 12-30-1999 11:30 AM       View Profile for Pepper   Email Pepper   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pepper

Lovely poem Liz....


 A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!
  Shannon


  
  

[This message has been edited by Pepper (edited 12-30-1999).]
Seymour Tabin
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since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


4 posted 12-30-1999 11:36 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Elizabeth,
Your answer is in the question
And a question in the answer.
A beautiful poem. LOve Sy
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


5 posted 12-30-1999 12:03 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Thanks for the comment,   pepper

Sy, And a question is in your answer
Thank you
liz
Nan
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since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


6 posted 12-30-1999 12:08 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Very nice first try, Elizabeth... Now we just have to get your iambics into pentameter.... Great poem, indeed...
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


7 posted 12-30-1999 12:27 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Thanks, Nan, I'll look it up and do it. This is why I call this the Passionate School of Poetry.
Liz
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


8 posted 12-30-1999 03:35 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Sigh!

 In the dew of little things,
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.
(ee cummings)
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


9 posted 12-30-1999 08:39 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Very nice poem Elizabeth and an excellent first attempt, but as Nan said...work on your meter a bit or cheat and just don't call it a sonnet  
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


10 posted 12-30-1999 08:48 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Thanks, Hoot
I've got to find out what you two are talking about. I never had a course in poetry so I'll look for this information on the net and see what I can do.
I have a lot to learn. But you don't learn if you don't try.
Thanks for the comments!
Liz

OK, I read about iambic pentameter and I get it now.
Thanks Nan and Hoot

[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 12-30-1999).]
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


11 posted 12-30-1999 08:58 PM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

Well I think it's a job well done Liz  

 At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. (Plato)
~Isis~
(Daughter of Mystery)

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


12 posted 12-30-1999 09:20 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Beautiful, Elizabeth! Very lovely and a great acrostic!

 Denise

Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


13 posted 12-31-1999 12:32 AM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Pulchritudinous!


 ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~

 
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