Inverness, FL, USA
Hi, Paul! You wrote a very moving poem here.
I felt like that, sometimes, but that's
another story. I'm glad you wrote down that
last line, it shows me where you stand, and
that's where I stand, too. I would like to
make a few suggestions for improving your
poem, and hope you don't mind.
1. Don't be afraid to use punctuation. A few
commas, properly placed, will tell the
reader where to pauze for emphasis and
clarity in each sentence.
2. Don't allow your desire for rhyme to harm
a poem's rhythm, idiom, or even its logic.
3. Don't experiment with capitalization.
Follow accepted practice, rather than
the modern custom of doing away with any
and all capitalization, a mere remnant
from the time when computer memory was
scarce and expensive.
4. Keep a Webster's Encyclopedia and, if
available, A Roget's Thesaurus handy.
Well, what else would you like to know?
BTW, are or were you Dutch?
Happy New Year!