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Passions in Poetry

Hope

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Paul Hoekman
Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 385
Harwinton Ct. U>S>A>


0 posted 12-29-1999 06:34 PM       View Profile for Paul Hoekman   Email Paul Hoekman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Paul Hoekman's Home Page   View IP for Paul Hoekman

When I try
try to solve the problems
solve the problems of this world
when I really try
try to solve the problems
the problems overwhelm me
I can only cry.

  When I cry
when the tears start flowing
the tears start flowing from my eyes
when I really cry and the tears start flowing
there from my heart not my eyes.

  When my eyes
when I look around me
when I look around I realize
that when my eyes look around me
I see the hope that survives
God's love is hope which satisfies.

© Copyright 1999 Paul Hoekman - All Rights Reserved
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 11-15-1999
Posts 1691
Georgia, Fulton


1 posted 12-29-1999 07:24 PM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

Nice poem Paul and welcome to Passions!

 Nathan
whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


2 posted 12-29-1999 07:29 PM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

Great poem Paul , sad but lovely  

Julie  
Willem
Member
since 11-18-1999
Posts 141
Inverness, FL, USA


3 posted 12-29-1999 08:36 PM       View Profile for Willem   Email Willem   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Willem

Hi, Paul! You wrote a very moving poem here.
I felt like that, sometimes, but that's
another story.  I'm glad you wrote down that
last line, it shows me where you stand, and
that's where I stand, too. I would like to
make a few suggestions for improving your
poem, and hope you don't mind.

1. Don't be afraid to use punctuation. A few
   commas, properly placed, will tell the
   reader where to pauze for emphasis and
   clarity in each sentence.

2. Don't allow your desire for rhyme to harm
   a poem's rhythm, idiom, or even its logic.

3. Don't experiment with capitalization.
   Follow accepted practice, rather than
   the modern custom of doing away with any
   and all capitalization, a mere remnant
   from the time when computer memory was
   scarce and expensive.
  
4. Keep a Webster's Encyclopedia and, if
   available, A Roget's Thesaurus handy.

Well, what else would you like to know?
BTW, are or were you Dutch?
Happy New Year!

Willem

    
Astraea
Member
since 11-09-1999
Posts 397
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm


4 posted 12-29-1999 08:39 PM       View Profile for Astraea   Email Astraea   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Astraea

Another lovely one.  Very nice.

~Astraea

 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


5 posted 12-29-1999 08:47 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Great poem, great message! And welcome to Passions!

 Denise




[This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 12-29-1999).]
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


6 posted 12-30-1999 04:43 AM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Paul, the first thing that came to my mind was dont let the problems of the world overwhelm you.  You are only one person and you can only do so much, and that so much is a good start!  If we all did our so much, we could start to make this world a better place, but we can't let it overwhelm us.  You are right though, the hope will survive with God's love!  I like your poem and I can feel your emotion and pain in it, so with that, I applaud you and your poem!!


 ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~

Paul Hoekman
Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 385
Harwinton Ct. U>S>A>


7 posted 01-03-2000 10:03 AM       View Profile for Paul Hoekman   Email Paul Hoekman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Paul Hoekman's Home Page   View IP for Paul Hoekman

I'm HOPING Bojopy catches this, I'm no preacher just like people to consider the truth.         Sincerely,
                       Paul
          
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


8 posted 01-03-2000 10:09 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Paul,
Enjoyed your poem, you got some good advise above. the people here are great welcome.
 
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