How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #5 Archive
 freezing to death
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

freezing to death

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Iloveit
Senior Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 1168
NM


0 posted 12-29-1999 09:21 AM       View Profile for Iloveit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Iloveit

she shivered, uncontrollably,
the cold I suppose...
they say you can feel it coming
you know?
first to go, her teeth,
clenched tight,
not a word to escape her frozen lips
her arms then fell unreachable
at her sides
and slowly the cold
brought the fuzzy forgetfullness
that soon would comfort her so
and just before the
final freeze set in...
two droplets ran
in protest down her cheek



 remember this...nobody has an unbreakable heart


© Copyright 1999 Iloveit - All Rights Reserved
Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


1 posted 12-29-1999 09:54 AM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

This is interesting, I'm not totally sure what you were writing about, but this is what I imagined. A homeless person with no where to go so they are out in the elements of the frigid weather and their body can take no more so it begins to shut down slowly until the last signs of life that once was is present in the form of tears upon a weary face.
whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


2 posted 12-29-1999 10:30 AM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

Very good, I am like lost dreamer the subject is unclear to me, Its sad all the same
devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


3 posted 12-29-1999 10:35 AM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

This poor girl, whether it be actual freezing death, or something more, your at your best yet again with the last two lines.  liked this alot!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


4 posted 12-29-1999 10:53 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

A very powerful poem with double meanings. You pulled this off wonderfully  
Iloveit
Senior Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 1168
NM


6 posted 12-29-1999 11:29 AM       View Profile for Iloveit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Iloveit

thanks for the read and the compliments...
sigh...not too many words today,
and yep, hoot I knew you would understand.....
for those of you who didn't, its about shutting down emotionally...
RSEvans
Senior Member
since 10-23-1999
Posts 1187
Tulsa, OK, USA


7 posted 12-29-1999 11:35 AM       View Profile for RSEvans   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSEvans

I have to say I love the protesting tears.  Perhaps the mind has given up before the heart, eh?  Don't stop believing with your heart.
caroline
Senior Member
since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


8 posted 12-29-1999 12:23 PM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

Perfectly conveyed, it was...and while I am struggling to keep the warmth alive, it isn't an easy thing to do. You've written the thoughts I haven't been able to express....excellent poem!

 It's not the love you fear, but the fall from the height~Edwin McCain


Songbird
Member Elite
since 12-15-1999
Posts 2211
California


9 posted 12-29-1999 12:32 PM       View Profile for Songbird   Email Songbird   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Songbird's Home Page   View IP for Songbird

I really love this, in spite of the sadness of the whole situation. I understand it totally. Makes me want to get the hair dryer out and help this person before the core is frozen.  Keep them coming.  
Iloveit
Senior Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 1168
NM


10 posted 12-29-1999 03:00 PM       View Profile for Iloveit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Iloveit

RS, thanks, you seem to be able to read between the lines as if I had actually written them...thanks

Caroline and Septsong....thanks for the understanding and heres hugs for us all...sigh
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


11 posted 12-29-1999 03:22 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Well, I certainly understand it and it is so sad I can also feel the chill. Keep your heart warm and glowing, lovey, that's the important thing. Big hugs your way.
Iloveit
Senior Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 1168
NM


12 posted 12-29-1999 03:29 PM       View Profile for Iloveit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Iloveit

thank you bal.....hugs
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


13 posted 12-30-1999 03:21 AM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Touching, emotional, I could relate!


 ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


14 posted 12-30-1999 03:17 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Batteries??  Would Batteries help??

HuggsZ kid... very artfully crafted!
Iloveit
Senior Member
since 09-02-99
Posts 1168
NM


15 posted 12-30-1999 03:42 PM       View Profile for Iloveit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Iloveit

guess that would depend if they are rechargeable or not....seems I might need them more than once...sigh

thanks rebel for the compliment  
Iloveit will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #5 >> freezing to death Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors