How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #5 Archive
 snowflake
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

snowflake

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Paul Hoekman
Member
since 12-28-1999
[First Post] 385
Harwinton Ct. U>S>A>


0 posted 12-28-1999 11:56 PM       View Profile for Paul Hoekman   Email Paul Hoekman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Paul Hoekman's Home Page   View IP for Paul Hoekman

  Please check out what a great job Hoot-owl
did formatting this below,much better than I had,You'll enjoy it much more this way.
  What a Hoot!



[This message has been edited by Paul Hoekman (edited 12-31-1999).]
© Copyright 1999 Paul Hoekman - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


1 posted 12-29-1999 12:21 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Welcome to Passion's.
Lovely thoughts.

'caught a glimpse of the ocean before the sun helped it to the ground.'

Beautiful imagery in this phrase.

~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Astraea
Member
since 11-09-1999
Posts 397
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm


2 posted 12-29-1999 12:23 AM       View Profile for Astraea   Email Astraea   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Astraea

The imagery is wonderful.  Truly lovely.

~Astraea

 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."

whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


3 posted 12-29-1999 12:33 AM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

Very nice ,left wonderful pictures in my mind  
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


4 posted 12-29-1999 12:42 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Welcome to the family! This is full of lovely imagery! I look forward to reading more from you.  
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


5 posted 12-29-1999 05:52 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

What a unique style you have - I like it!

Welcome to Passions.

    

 ...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


6 posted 12-29-1999 09:12 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

I really like this a lot. Welcome to passions. Might I suggest some possible breaks in the poem though, perhaps something like this:

It tumbled from a cloud
rolled over and over
and out of it's nest,
floating to the earth
in so much dark, yet illuminous.
  
Landed in a tree, top of a hill,
in colorful dreams
of soaring slept
into the morning
until something broke the chill.
  
Snowflake, special,
different from all the rest
and when you love what your doing
that's when you'll do your best.
  
With just enough light to see,
it listens to a distant sound
and caught a glimpse of the ocean
before the sun
helped it to the ground.

Now that drop stumbled
into a swift moving stream
like a tobogan, flume a rollercoaster
such an ultimate adventure
one wild and crazy screaming stream.
  
Snowflake, special,
different from all the rest
and when you love what your doing
that's when you'll do your best.
  
Finally flows into a river wide,
slow, bold and free,
heard so much about the ocean,
learned so much, met so many,
there's just so much love in the sea.
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


7 posted 12-29-1999 02:21 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

I really like your train of thought here, Paul...

I'm looking forward to reading more of your work...

Welcome to Passions....
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


8 posted 12-30-1999 03:16 AM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Welcome to passions, and what a way to enter, enjoyed the poem!


 ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~

Paul Hoekman
Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 385
Harwinton Ct. U>S>A>


9 posted 12-30-1999 02:18 PM       View Profile for Paul Hoekman   Email Paul Hoekman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Paul Hoekman's Home Page   View IP for Paul Hoekman

I just want to thank everyone for your support,kind and helpful criticism,and just making me feel comfortable.
No one has ever seen my writing ,you all make me feel as though I should not keep it to myself(and kids)
         My sincere thanks,
                  Paul
HM3
Member
since 07-15-99
Posts 130
TX


10 posted 12-30-1999 05:10 PM       View Profile for HM3   Email HM3   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for HM3

Sharing is a good thing. I'm still learning that but it's OK 'cause I can play well with others so it balances out.
hoot_owl made it more structured and pleasing to the eye don't you think? Nice piece, a visual delight.
Welcome to Passions!

 Work like money doesn't matter, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching...

Tamera
Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 126


11 posted 12-30-1999 06:48 PM       View Profile for Tamera   Email Tamera   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tamera

Paul, this is really beautiful, and thank you for your previous comments on my work..I have recently just joined this group myself, and I think becoming quite "obsessed". hehehhee They are a great group of people, I am like you, feel very comfortable already..I can't wait to read more! Hugs!
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


12 posted 12-30-1999 06:56 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

I love it..   Really beautiful...makes me want to catch one in my hand and hold it till it melts into me..

HUGS

 Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn.

 
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #5 >> snowflake Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors