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Passions in Poetry

I shall not sleep

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whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


0 posted 12-28-1999 09:51 AM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

" Shall not Sleep"

I will not sleep
These feelings I keep
You will not tell me
Of the fate to be
I am lost without you
But lost within you
Your soul to mine
In frozen time
To hear its cries
Of self deny's
Inside I see
your face to me
To be and see
This inside me
A twine of time
Spent in your mind
So sleep I shall not do
Untill I know more from you

© Copyright 1999 Julie Nelson - All Rights Reserved
U K Hero
Member
since 08-08-99
Posts 271
England


1 posted 12-28-1999 10:06 AM       View Profile for U K Hero   Email U K Hero   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for U K Hero

well loved, simple enjoyable and excellent flow.
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


2 posted 12-28-1999 10:31 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse


Good description of basic and honest emotion.

"A twine of time
Spent in your mind"

~love this line.
caroline
Senior Member
since 08-16-99
Posts 1251
http://members.xoom.com/bellad


3 posted 12-28-1999 11:06 AM       View Profile for caroline   Email caroline   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for caroline

This is very lovely...a longing of the heart stands out in this poem. I've not seen your work before, so let me say welcome to Passions, and I will look forward to reading more of your poetry  

 It's not the love you fear, but the fall from the height~Edwin McCain


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


4 posted 12-28-1999 11:21 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

"I am lost without you
But lost within you"
Wonderful lines!!!!!
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


5 posted 12-28-1999 04:39 PM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

Whiskey, you did a gret job with this one.  I can feel your emotion in this one!   Great job!


 ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


6 posted 12-28-1999 05:30 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Love this Whiskey, well done !!  

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


7 posted 12-28-1999 05:35 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Whiskey,
Good job, enjoyed the read.
whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


8 posted 12-28-1999 06:52 PM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

Thank you to all for your wonderful replies  
Tamera
Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 126


9 posted 12-28-1999 07:41 PM       View Profile for Tamera   Email Tamera   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tamera

Whisky, very good work. It is amazing how love can render one sleepless. I look forward to reading more.  
Theraaven
Junior Member
since 12-11-1999
Posts 11


10 posted 12-28-1999 07:57 PM       View Profile for Theraaven   Email Theraaven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Theraaven

Very pretty! I also liked the "Twine In Time"
Line...
Thanks
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


11 posted 12-28-1999 09:55 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Very nice!  

 Denise


destiny502
Member
since 11-23-1999
Posts 99
OH


12 posted 12-28-1999 10:09 PM       View Profile for destiny502   Email destiny502   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for destiny502

you have a very unique way of using words..its wonderful.  your write lovely poems from what i've read of yours so far.  and i'm looking forward to reading more!    
whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


13 posted 12-29-1999 12:38 AM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

Thanks everyone for your kind replies  
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


14 posted 12-29-1999 04:57 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

This is written in such a way it reaches right in and gets you - great work!



 ...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara
Betty Gravitt
Member
since 09-11-99
Posts 225
Georgia United States


15 posted 12-29-1999 06:32 AM       View Profile for Betty Gravitt   Email Betty Gravitt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Betty Gravitt

"lost without you, lost within you". Beautiful lines. Whiskey this is so true. Wonderful poem.

 B Gravitt


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


16 posted 12-29-1999 06:41 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Everybody likes the same line! Me ,too. I lked the whole poem
Liz
First__Knight
Senior Member
since 11-08-1999
Posts 688


17 posted 12-29-1999 07:14 AM       View Profile for First__Knight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for First__Knight

With these words I see the exact feelings I have had about a love.  You have put it all together and could easily share how this feels to another person with just these words....Even if they have never felt this way before.  Well done  

 I have learned that the pain of a lost love will fade, But the memory of having loved will last forever.

whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


18 posted 12-29-1999 08:04 PM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

Thankyou Im glad everyone liked it  
whiskey will be notified of replies
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