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Passions in Poetry

The Garden

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Meadowmuse
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since 12-27-1999
[First Post] 3317


0 posted 12-28-1999 01:16 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse


The Garden

Vines entangled 'neath the fruit
of love's labouring, sorrowful sigh,
this garden, green and hungry for
a watchful, watering eye.

Come till the fragrant thistled earth.
Come cleanse the soil of stones.
Spread seeds of summer's silent songs
and grind white, fertile bones.

For a garden needs a mindful soul
to root and grow and thrive.
To yield a moonlight harvest
and struggle so to stay alive.

This planted plot of sweeping
emerald, olive~coloured leaves
suffers many a snowy springtide storm
as Mother Nature heaves

Her bountiful burden, ebbing as
the seasons pass and flow
o'er a garden, found within the heart
of this woman, so long ago.

© Copyright 1999 Meadowmuse - All Rights Reserved
Songbird
Member Elite
since 12-15-1999
Posts 2211
California


1 posted 12-28-1999 01:23 AM       View Profile for Songbird   Email Songbird   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Songbird's Home Page   View IP for Songbird

Beautifuly spoken, great imagery. I enjoyed it very much.
First__Knight
Senior Member
since 11-08-1999
Posts 688


2 posted 12-28-1999 03:50 AM       View Profile for First__Knight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for First__Knight

Wonderful.....and welcome to passions...I look forward to more of your writtings  
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


3 posted 12-28-1999 05:38 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Lovely!! Great imagery!  

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


4 posted 12-28-1999 05:41 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

What a beautiful poem - welcome to our family.
I'm looking out for more!

    
Mike
Member Elite
since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


5 posted 12-28-1999 06:08 AM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

Excellent... Enjoyed muchly.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


6 posted 12-28-1999 07:27 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Lovely, MeadowMuse ... just lovely !
Welcome to our ~Friendship Garden~.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


whiskey
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Senior Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 1302
Australia


7 posted 12-28-1999 09:22 AM       View Profile for whiskey   Email whiskey   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit whiskey's Home Page   View IP for whiskey

Wonderful visions dancing in my mind,
great poem  
U K Hero
Member
since 08-08-99
Posts 271
England


8 posted 12-28-1999 09:27 AM       View Profile for U K Hero   Email U K Hero   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for U K Hero

one of the best I have read all week the flow is excellent, one small piece of crit'

'and struggle so to stay alive'

does it not sound / flow better without the word 'so!
Meadowmuse
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since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


9 posted 12-28-1999 09:51 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

   Thank you, all, for the earnest welcome and kind comments. I enjoyed so much the work I was able to read here last night, and look forward to reading and posting more with you.

UK Hero, funny you should mention that particular line...I struggled "so" with it as well, but thought that the omission of the word might interfere with its (the piece's) meter...I'll keep working on it, though, and perhaps come up with an alternative line that will convey the same concept. Thank you for your suggestion!

Meadowmuse
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since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


10 posted 12-28-1999 11:31 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

U K Hero,
   What about this? Do you think the meter is still compromised? I want to retain the alliteration...though there may be a better word to use.


For a garden needs a mindful soul
to root and grow and thrive.
To yield a moonlight harvest
struggling, straining to stay alive.

RSEvans
Senior Member
since 10-23-1999
Posts 1187
Tulsa, OK, USA


11 posted 12-28-1999 11:40 AM       View Profile for RSEvans   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSEvans

Intense and vivid...you will be a welcome addition to our poetic pantheon.  
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


12 posted 12-28-1999 11:47 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Thank you, sincerely. I do look forward to reading and exchanging craft with you folks.
~ Claire
Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


13 posted 12-28-1999 01:35 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Very beautiful poem--the imagery wonderful and the flow smooth--I love your word garden.

 In the dew of little things,
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.
(ee cummings)
HM3
Member
since 07-15-99
Posts 130
TX


14 posted 12-28-1999 03:19 PM       View Profile for HM3   Email HM3   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for HM3

I enjoyed reading this and (for me) it flows like a gentle breeze.

 Work like money doesn't matter, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching...
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


15 posted 12-28-1999 04:28 PM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Well, I've sat and read this at least four times now...  ... It's intriguing... You've used some metaphor, personification, and certainly extended metaphor quite adeptly... I'm looking forward to more....
Georgia
Junior Member
since 12-22-1999
Posts 33


16 posted 12-28-1999 04:49 PM       View Profile for Georgia   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Georgia

found it interesting to read over and over..nice little twist
Sally S.
Senior Member
since 06-07-99
Posts 887
Ohio


17 posted 12-28-1999 05:00 PM       View Profile for Sally S.   Email Sally S.   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sally S.

Yep, me thinks another very talented poet has entered our parlor!!  Wonderful!!!  Welcome! Welcome!
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


18 posted 12-28-1999 05:52 PM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

This is truly wonderful!  Hope to read more soon!


 ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


19 posted 12-28-1999 07:27 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse


Thank you, one and all, for the gracious welcome and feedback on this piece.

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


20 posted 12-28-1999 08:54 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

a lovely garden, Meadowmuse! Welcome to Passions!

 Denise


Tamera
Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 126


21 posted 12-28-1999 09:26 PM       View Profile for Tamera   Email Tamera   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tamera

Beautiful words, I cannot wait to see more!  
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