Christmas at the 'Stute
Christmas at the 'stute
is no fun in this suit
that's so white and which ties in the back.
There's this blue Christmas tree
bue as far as I see
there's no presents piled in no stack!
The lights overhead
stay on when we're in bed
'cause the guards want to make sure we're there.
And the music piped in
sounds indeed really grim....
there's no carols sung here anywhere!
I called all my bro's,
but the way that it goes,
not a one came to visit at all.
My twin, Justin Kace,
is here with me to face
this darn Christmas behind this steel wall!
On the day before last
Thanksgiving had past
and we knew Christmas was coming soon.
We all gathered around
the drab dull piped in sound
and decided we'd sing Christmas tunes!
I sang "Jingle Bell Rock"
'til the thyme on the clock
was a little bit past half past one.
But before that I finished,
my voice was diminished
when Nurse Cratchet told me, "You are done!"
There then was a riot,
when others did try it,
they started to sing carols LOUD!
They harmonized sweetly
and almost completely
drowned Cratchet's voice out, then they bowed!
Nurse Cratchet broke loose
from the crowd and then Moose,
quickly tackled her down to the floor.
He said, "Listen, sweetie,
don't make me repeatie...
We'll sing all we like, then sing more!"
Sylvester, the kitty
sang soft a sweet ditty
and Elmer Fudd soon harmonized.
Then 3 other Justins,
and all of them, cousins,
joined in and the crowd hypnotized!
Rockwell took his brush
and he painted the tush
of ol' Cratchet while Moose held her down.
Then all hell broke loose
as the nurse hit Doc Moose
and his elbow slammed into my gown!
Perhaps a roommate
or someone sedate,
can tell more why this Christmas did flop!
'Cause, needless to say
I was right in the way
and the Looney 'Toon's tumbled on top!
Now all that I know
is it was quite a blow
to get knocked on my ass at the 'stute
when we were just tryin'
to keep Christmas from dyin'
and sing carols that were mighty cute!
Is there stuff you remember
'bout the 'stute this December?
Then write it here, please fill me in!
I'm looking for Santa--
(heard he's in Atlanta)
If I get out, we will slosh down a gin!
Next year, Christmas-thyme
just remember this rhyme
and go visiting 'stutes and in jails!
These places aren't fun
and I wish I were done...
Christmas stinks here! It just never fails!
Justin Thyme aka Leonardo DaVinci