What did I do?
What did I say?
To make you hurt me in this way,
You used the trust I had in you,
To do the things you wanted to do,
The confusion you caused is tearing me apart,
The hurt you caused is breaking my heart,
Why did you do what you did?
YOU were authority,
I was a kid,
You pushed your desires inside of me,
This was a time I wished to be free,
Free of you and the things you did,
Free to live and be a kid,
Free to scream and free to cry,
Free to look you in the eye,
And make you see what you have done,
See the pain in my heart,
See my blood run.
Echo, this poem is excellent but so very sad (((((((Hugg))))))) I can relate to a lot of what you have written and I am so, so sorry that you have had to endure such awful things. The path is not easy and I think that it is a very long one, I keep searching for the light at the end of the tunnel but it never seems to shine.......I know in time it will though I have no idea when. Sometimes it doesn't seem that way though - it often feels like everything is wrong. Sometimes it is good to talk to people who can understand where you're coming from, do you have someone that you can talk to? If you don't have someone like that please feel free to email me anytime OK. I have ICQ also, so feel free to ICQ me if you like.
A word of advice.......be kind to yourself, do things that you like to do, don't set time limits and try to let your feelings out, by talking or writing or drawing or exercising ( whatever makes you feel good) when you can feel the pressure inside building up to exploding point DON'T bottle things up. Sorry this reply is so lengthy. Be kind to yourself.