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Passions in Poetry

Deception

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Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


0 posted 12-27-1999 07:18 AM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

DECEPTION

Well within the time alotted
Many ventures we have plotted
Most went down in musty dust
But one lived in survival's must

But good or bad they all were tried
And all worthwhile, though lived or died
For those that fell us to the ground
Taught how to save one still around

But uphill was the weary plod
And many a night I prayed to God
And many a day we were in need
With little for the mouths to feed

Unexplainable in many ways
The drive to work the seven days
And no one thought the task was worth
Such sacrifice, this life on earth

But as years passed and life went on
T'was fruits of labor that were won
And easier the task each day
And shorter hours was the pay

But greater yet the trophy won
Inherent values taught a son
And all the offspring learned from strife
Survival skills to last a life

And some would say luck is our fate
With no regard the heavy weight
They did not taste the bitter pill
And do not know the strength of will

It seems the ones who criticized
Now look on with longing eyes
Deception often plays a role
In envy of another soul

Elizabeth Santos
© Copyright 1999 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


1 posted 12-27-1999 07:27 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

You weave a great story, my friend... I particularly like the closing stanza - It says a great deal in just a few words.....
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


2 posted 12-27-1999 08:06 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

Elizabeth,
Your words weave ropes about me tight.
The truth to read a very hard sight.
Excellent poem.
Love ya,
Sy
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 09-17-99
Posts 1538
Canyon Country, CA


3 posted 12-27-1999 09:04 AM       View Profile for Echo Rhayne   Email Echo Rhayne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Echo Rhayne

This is great, and I agree with Nan about the last stanza!  Great job with this one!


 ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 11-15-1999
Posts 1691
Georgia, Fulton


4 posted 12-27-1999 06:41 PM       View Profile for Nate Dogg   Email Nate Dogg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nate Dogg's Home Page   View IP for Nate Dogg

Great poem with a deep understanding. Thanks for this truthful poem Elizabeth.

 Nathan
Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


5 posted 12-27-1999 06:44 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

Another masterpiece, Elizabeth. I especially liked the last two lines.

Elizabeth

 Nail to the mast her holy flag,
Set every threadbare sail-
And give her to the god of storms,
The lightning and the gale!
-Oliver Wendell Holmes


RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


6 posted 12-27-1999 07:06 PM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

Excellent!!!

HUGS

 Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn.

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


7 posted 12-27-1999 07:17 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Thank you all very much for your comments on this poem
And Sy, please don't choke!
Liz
Georgia
Junior Member
since 12-22-1999
Posts 33


8 posted 12-27-1999 07:42 PM       View Profile for Georgia   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Georgia

cant help but read your poem and think you have a wealth of wisdom in that head and heart of yours..nice!
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


9 posted 12-27-1999 07:53 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Elizabeth, my friend -
Very richly stated.

'But uphill was the weary plod
And many a night I prayed to God'

A lot to be said for this thought.
Wonderful of you to share.
~*Marge*~

Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


10 posted 12-27-1999 08:12 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

My favorite lines:
"and all the offspring
learned from strife
survival skills
to last a life"

A truly great poem Liz--wise and wonderful and so well done.

 In the dew of little things,
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.
(ee cummings)
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


11 posted 12-27-1999 08:22 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

The people who envy the fruit certainly would not have wanted to participate in the toil part of it, would they? Human nature is such, sadly. Wonderful poem, Elizabeth! Thanks for sharing another slice of your life!

 Denise


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


12 posted 12-27-1999 08:25 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Thank you georgia, Marge, and Martie, your compliments overwhelm
Liz
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


13 posted 12-27-1999 09:19 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Thanks, Denise
I thought I'd just bring my little picture to your house and you could scan it, but it seems we have about the level of computer literacy. I'll just describe myself instead.
See ya,
Liz
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


14 posted 12-28-1999 06:14 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Lizzy this is one of your best.

Very heartfelt and strong, great work!

K
Paul Hoekman
Member
since 12-28-1999
Posts 385
Harwinton Ct. U>S>A>


15 posted 01-16-2000 10:54 PM       View Profile for Paul Hoekman   Email Paul Hoekman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Paul Hoekman's Home Page   View IP for Paul Hoekman

This is FANTASTIC
and I am a big FAN!


  
HelmutB
Senior Member
since 01-06-2000
Posts 989
Canada


16 posted 01-16-2000 11:50 PM       View Profile for HelmutB   Email HelmutB   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit HelmutB's Home Page   View IP for HelmutB

Elizabeth as always great work
Enjoyed it all the way
Liked the ending very much
Lessons to be learned

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


17 posted 01-16-2000 11:56 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Very, very nice! Loved it.

 <*\\\><
Where there is faith,
there is love.
Where there is love,
there is peace.
Where there is peace,
there is GOD.
Where there is GOD,
there is no need.

Hallmark


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


18 posted 01-17-2000 04:24 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Love the last stanza!!
devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


19 posted 01-17-2000 05:53 PM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

I ditto the last stanza Liz, breathtaking!!!

 Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


20 posted 01-17-2000 05:57 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Kamla, Thanks for responding way back in the last millennium! I've just noticed this for the first time. Thanks, dear
Liz

Paul, I don't know where you dug this thing up. But I loved the little fan - hilarious! I got a goog laugh. Thank you
Liz

Helmut,
Your responses to everyone's poetry are so kind. You're just a nice guy. Thanks for the comments
Liz

WD Thank you, glad you liked this poem
Liz

Hoot, nice to see you're active. I hope you're getting better. Thanks

Devina, Thank you



[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 01-17-2000).]
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 01-15-2000
Posts 2072
Tulsa, OK


21 posted 01-19-2000 12:08 PM       View Profile for Danny Holloway   Email Danny Holloway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Danny Holloway

I especially liked, "But greater yet the trophy won, Inherent values taught a son".
I give this poem 4 STARS!
Danny

 
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


22 posted 01-19-2000 12:25 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

A wonderful poem, Elizabeth!!! The last verse is powerful enough to be a stand-alone poem... but the entire poem is great!! Well done!!!

(But could you tell me where you get those "goog" laughs? LOL... Resident Brat, bowing out! *G*)
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 11-08-1999
Posts 9405
Pennsylvania


23 posted 01-19-2000 04:08 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth Santos   Email Elizabeth Santos   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elizabeth Santos

Danny,
Thank you for the stars
Glad you liked this poem

suthern,
Thanks for your compliment. You are not the first to remark about the last verse. Perhaps I should scrap the rest of the poem
You're sweet, thanks
Liz
 
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