How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Discussion
 Announcements & Links
 Goodbye pipTalk.
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Elizabeth   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Admin Transferred from Open Poetry #35 Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Goodbye pipTalk.

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member
since 09-10-2003
Posts 1315


0 posted 05-05-2005 06:43 AM       View Profile for EvocativeVerse2   Email EvocativeVerse2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for EvocativeVerse2

Hey everyone...good-bye. It's been a blast.

[This message has been edited by EvocativeVerse2 (05-06-2005 06:30 AM).]

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 09-03-99
Posts 5497
Forever In Your Heart


1 posted 05-05-2005 07:15 AM       View Profile for A Romantic Heart   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for A Romantic Heart

Goodmorning Kevin...

This work of art is certainly my favorite poem (sonnets) from you...going back to read it again. Stunning work! you are a master of poetry!

~ARH

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments; love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


2 posted 05-05-2005 08:19 AM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Kevin, stand up and take a bow! ~ No, stand up and take 4 bows! Stellar writing! Each sonnet was a gem unto itself! You quadrupled my pleasure when I clicked on "Sonnets".

Your talent astounds, amazes, ~ and delights this reader!

Hugs with love,
Linda
Flowers
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 06-19-2003
Posts 13093
SE PA


3 posted 05-05-2005 08:22 AM       View Profile for LeeJ   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LeeJ

outstanding, every single sentence drives a picture home...am totally in agreement with Romantic Heart...loved this
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


4 posted 05-05-2005 08:30 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

EvocativeVerse2
One of your finer works, enjoyed.
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


5 posted 05-05-2005 08:42 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

First of all, if you're trying sonnets, you ought to learn more about iambic pentameter.  Nan's got some helpful guides in the workshop.  Here's one about sonnets in particular:  http://piptalk.com/pip/Forum22/HTML/000042.html

I also have to criticize your use of "Thou."  Believe me, I'm a sympathizer, and use archaic language myself quite often (less often than I used to, I have to admit).  "Thou" and "Thee" are the subjective and objective tenses of the word, and aren't interchangable.  Think of their differences as being the same as "He" and "Him," or "I" and "Me."  "Thee" will always go where you would say "Me", & vica versa.  

If you're going to use it, you should also be consistent and realize the difference between "Thou" and "You."  Even when "Thou" was a commonplace word in the English language, "You" was used for the second-person plural.  The two later became different ways of referring to the singular person, "You" being more reverent in nature and "Thou" more familial.

Also, verbs following "Thou" are conjugated with "est."  So, "thou should" should read "thou shouldest" unless it is in the subjunctive ("if thou should read these lines, know I am sad," or something like that, as compared with "thou oughtest to compare my lines to thine").

One thing I think you've done right is the solitary aspect of the sonnet, which is one of its primary concern.  These accomplish that atmosphere of loneliness very well, despite their conversational nature.  The next time you write a sonnet, though, I think you should attempt them in a more conventional meter.

Thanks

Brian


"God becomes as we are that we may be as he is."  ~William Blake

[This message has been edited by Local Parasite (05-06-2005 09:55 PM).]

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 02-22-2002
Posts 9456
Michigan, USA


6 posted 05-06-2005 04:43 PM       View Profile for ThisDiamond   Email ThisDiamond   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ThisDiamond's Home Page   View IP for ThisDiamond

Holding your place at the top Kevin.
TD
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


7 posted 05-06-2005 05:24 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Whoa, there, Sir Poet!!! Please don't leave us! I get my thee's and thou's, thines and thy's screwed up all the time! What the hay!

I, as well as most of your avid readers and fans, wouldn't know one from the other! You write so beautifully, so magically! I love your poetry, Kevin! I truly do! On bended knee I beseech thee? ~ thou? ~ to remain with your kindred spirits. Read your other replies and know that you are a well-respected and loved poet, my friend!

We poets tend to have more delicate constitutions at times because we tend to have sensitive natures. ~ That is a double-edged sword! It enables us to feel and see and emote and write... But it also can leave us vulnerable.

When I first joined PiP, one of the poets (who no longer is at PiP! ~ but I am! lol) called me a "friggin wierdo" and didn't want me replying to her poetry!

Well, I felt like burying my head in a cloud ( ) and leaving PiP ~ but I loved the new friends that I had made and I also enjoyed reading the responses (well, most of them!) to my poems. I stuck it out and have written going on 1,000 poems since then! ~ and believe me, they would not have gotten written if I had left PiP!

Kevin, please reconsider!

Love,
One of your many fans!
Linda

P. S. ~ I actually found Local Parasite's explanations helpful for me. I'll keep trying until I get it right! ~ but don't hold your breath! lol

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (05-06-2005 06:06 PM).]

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 10-10-2001
Posts 14644
South Carolina, USA


8 posted 05-06-2005 05:27 PM       View Profile for Magnus   Email Magnus   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Magnus

Kev,  you have been enjoyed,  a definite
asset to PiP...God Speed...
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


9 posted 05-06-2005 06:00 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

damn
I didn't even get to read the poem!

I guess that's what I get for working nights and sleeping afternoons.

Kevin, whatever the issue is, I'm sure it can be resolved, if only within yourself. There have been many disputes involving me within the past five years here...many times I could have been kicked off the site...many times I felt like leaving of my own accord...

please don't go until you give it a fair shot

I have always enjoyed your writings. If you do decide to keep your mind made up, then at least email your poems to me when you write them. Will you?
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


10 posted 05-06-2005 06:19 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Kevin,

I did not intend any hard feelings.  I simply misinterpreted your "encourages constructive critiques" message.  If you do not care to receive this kind of attention, instead of leaving piptalk, you could possibly make your critique message more specific instead.  You're obviously quite popular here.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


11 posted 05-06-2005 07:40 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

Kevin, if you leave, it will be a sad thing for many. Your work and your replies are much enjoyed.

I agree with LP here. Maybe you should change your critique message. "The truth" is asking a bit much from people who can only have opinions.

Please consider staying.
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


12 posted 05-06-2005 09:02 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

EV2..Brian is a sweet guy and was trying to help. He is awesome, as are you. I hope you are ok...
and for the record? This is exactly why I stay away from anything having thees and thous in them....I read Brian's explanation of using them, and oiy! I didn't get it even after that....LOL
I hope you stick around
OpethMike
Unregistered


with you


13 posted 05-07-2005 12:43 AM       Edit/Delete Message     View IP for OpethMike

I've always found these types of threads to be full of one's own self.

If one is going to leave, just leave, don't tell the populace... unless one doesn't really plan on leaving, but just wants attention.
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-05-2001
Posts 2929
Transylconia, Winnipeg


14 posted 05-07-2005 03:20 AM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Mike,

This was originally a post in Open whose text was changed to its current form.  It was the choice of the moderators to move it to this forum, and I don't think it's some desparate cry for attention on the author's part, but just something he expected to sink under the weight of Open Poetry.
 
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Discussion >> Announcements & Links >> Goodbye pipTalk. Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors