An email from Mare today:
"I sat with Michael all morning... holding his hand and talking to him, hoping he could hear me. He has been in sleep mode for two days straight... in and out.. but mostly out.
I have read that people can still hear you... when they are like that, so I sat there and just talked..about things we had done together over the years... the good things...none of the bad... about how he would be healthy again in Heaven... about how his parents were waiting for him, my father was waiting for him to help with a garden... and how his friend Monty was waiting, to see him again. He would squeeze my hand in response to alot of things.. so I know he was hearing me.
Told him I loved him... and that I probably didn't deserve him... that he was a good man... and that Chris and I would be ok... that it was time for him to let go of this life...and start his new life in Heaven... with no troubles, no worries, no pain.. and a brand new body.
Talked about lots of other things too.. just rambling... but it felt right. I'm glad we had these days at home together, because we just checked him back into Hospice at 3 today..... and the nurse says it may be a few days...but I doubt he'll ever come home. He is such a fighter.
I told him today was the third anniversary of Monty's death, and that it was ok if he passed on the same day. I was terrified of that before, but I've been thinking about it over the past few days, and I think it is ok.. might even be fitting actually. I just want his suffering to end.
This has really hit me hard now... Now that he's just laying there.. unable to really stand up alone... it's like.. "Hey.. he's REALLY going to die ... " It's hard to explain. I find myself with very swollen eyes again... I feel God around me..."