in the shadows
I was taught by older men in other times, but one of them was fond of one-line rules. He said in hand to hand the first rule is there are no rules. He also said in securing ground, height is everything. He also believed in the old British standard of nothing fancy go straight at them. Of course, back then we were not concerned with policies and lawyers.
I have a sense of how much you have wanted this, so I too want this for you. To have put forth your best in any test is always of value.
I wish you well.