By the sea
I went in yesterday morning for a gamma ray scan, at least that's what the technician called it. I was assuming it would be a Cat Scan, but honestly don't know the difference. Either way, the shot of radioative stuff hurt like hell and the machine scanning me was only two inches above my face, IF that. I had to keep my eyes closed in order not to panic, as I am EXTREMELY claustrophobic.
I later saw pictures of the scan from about 15 feet away on a computer screen that he was sending to a doctor, but I wasn't allowed a close up view, so I can't really tell you much about what I was able to see. All I can say is that I saw arrows pointing to things the scan showed up.
My sleep is now averaging about one to two hours a day no matter how exhausted I am and I'm still having extreme difficulty both drinking as much as single cup of water to eating anything at all in an entire day. I'm trying, know that, but nothing seems to work. Nothing wants to stay down for very long, so this is hard. I threw up my only partial cup of water today just a little while ago.
I have two sisters coming up from Florida next week to see how I'm doing. I hate for them to see me this weak, because I know it'll only cause them worry, but I can't begin to tell you how much I look forward to seeing them. I so much need family and friends around me now, though I get very little from each. It's only rare that my phone even rings. It's hard to understand, it really, really is. I rarely even get an e-mail from anyone. I don't understand.
My wife was speaking online to a nurse friend of hers tonight who says doctors no longer remove a part of the esophogus in order to help spare your life, so I suppose Chemo, in that area, at least, is the only choice I have. It also seems to be the only option left for my other organs as well.
Just now, before going to bed, I tried to take in more liquid, only to find it come up yet again. Sheesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need advice, please. I need to be able to at least keep liquid down. Do any of you have a clue? I've tried Prilosec, Pepcic Ac, Maalox and nothing seems to help. The doctors have offered nothing, because I'm a charity case. They only hydrated me once with an IV, but the next day I was dehydrated yet again.
I'm still fighting, that's why I'm asking questions. I at least need to maintain the health I'm already in and find a way of improving on THAT!
I can't give up, I can't. I plan my days, by days, weeks, months, but not by years now, even though I feel there could still be many years to come. I may be kidding myself, I don't know, but I fight because I one day want grandchildren to spoil, just as each of us do, right?!!
God bless you, love and hugs, you're so wonderful,