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Passions in Poetry

update on Michael Auguste

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Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


25 posted 03-04-2004 06:46 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Michael, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers as well. (((Hugs)))
Auguste
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Member Ascendant
since 02-16-2000
Posts 5326
By the sea


26 posted 03-04-2004 10:01 PM       View Profile for Auguste   Email Auguste   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Auguste's Home Page   View IP for Auguste

All men try to sound brave, look macho, but in doing so, only come out looking foolish, in my opinion.  Men have feelings, very honest ones and they need to be seen.  Women need to know that men can often hurt and be afraid just like they can, but that doesn't mean they are any less of a man for having those feelings.  I also believe women would tend to find more respect for them if they let that silly wall come down and just let their real feelings be seen.  That's always what I've tried to do, with my family and all of you.  In other words, I'm real, I feel, I fear, but yes, I still fight, just as anyone would, no matter what their sex.  Lyra fought like hell and I still consider her one of the greatest heroes I've ever been blessed to know.  She was WONDERFUL and she SO loved SUPER DAVE.  What a great couple!!  

I'm fighting, but yes, I have MUCH fear, so very much now, but I've yet to give up and I'll get **** if the doctors try to give up on me!

Love and hugs to each of you.  God bless,

Michael

  

The stars will shine when I am gone,
the earth will turn on as before,
the gulls, still race along the shore,
the morning star, still kiss the dawn

Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


27 posted 03-04-2004 10:05 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Michael...the sweet truth of tears and fear...are part of why I love you!  
Enchantress
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since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


28 posted 03-04-2004 10:20 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

Michael?

C'mere...
Kahlil
Senior Member
since 04-12-2003
Posts 1917


29 posted 03-05-2004 01:54 AM       View Profile for Kahlil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kahlil

Love and hugs and blessings to you, too, Michael.  Your courage is inspiring.  ~K~
Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 05-30-2003
Posts 3637


30 posted 03-05-2004 05:46 AM       View Profile for Goldenrose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Goldenrose

May i wish you all the very best Michael....

Goldenrose.

''Each soul is potentialy divine..the goal is to manifest that divinity''

Auguste
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since 02-16-2000
Posts 5326
By the sea


31 posted 03-06-2004 04:07 AM       View Profile for Auguste   Email Auguste   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Auguste's Home Page   View IP for Auguste

I went in yesterday morning for a gamma ray scan, at least that's what the technician called it.  I was assuming it would be a Cat Scan, but honestly don't know the difference.  Either way, the shot of radioative stuff hurt like hell and the machine scanning me was only two inches above my face, IF that.  I had to keep my eyes closed in order not to panic, as I am EXTREMELY claustrophobic.  

I later saw pictures of the scan from about 15 feet away on a computer screen that he was sending to a doctor, but I wasn't allowed a close up view, so I can't really tell you much about what I was able to see.  All I can say is that I saw arrows pointing to things the scan showed up.

My sleep is now averaging about one to two hours a day no matter how exhausted I am and I'm still having extreme difficulty both drinking as much as single cup of water to eating anything at all in an entire day.  I'm trying, know that, but nothing seems to work.  Nothing wants to stay down for very long, so this is hard.  I threw up my only partial cup of water today just a little while ago.  

I have two sisters coming up from Florida next week to see how I'm doing.  I hate for them to see me this weak, because I know it'll only cause them worry, but I can't begin to tell you how much I look forward to seeing them.  I so much need family and friends around me now, though I get very little from each.  It's only rare that my phone even rings.  It's hard to understand, it really, really is.  I rarely even get an e-mail from anyone.  I don't understand.

My wife was speaking online to a nurse friend of hers tonight who says doctors no longer remove a part of the esophogus in order to help spare your life, so I suppose Chemo, in that area, at least, is the only choice I have.  It also seems to be the only option left for my other organs as well.

Just now, before going to bed, I tried to take in more liquid, only to find it come up yet again.  Sheesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need advice, please.  I need to be able to at least keep liquid down.  Do any of you have a clue?  I've tried Prilosec, Pepcic Ac, Maalox and nothing seems to help.  The doctors have offered nothing, because I'm a charity case.  They only hydrated me once with an IV, but the next day I was dehydrated yet again.

I'm still fighting, that's why I'm asking questions.  I at least need to maintain the health I'm already in and find a way of improving on THAT!  

I can't give up, I can't.  I plan my days, by days, weeks, months, but not by years now, even though I feel there could still be many years to come.  I may be kidding myself, I don't know, but I fight because I one day want grandchildren to spoil, just as each of us do, right?!!  

God bless you, love and hugs, you're so wonderful,

Michael

          
  
Munda
Member Elite
since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


32 posted 03-06-2004 04:26 AM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda


If only these few words I wrote for you,
Arrived through cyber space to change into,
A balsam for the agony you're in,
And ease a little of the fear within.
If smiles could find a way through time and space,
They'd hold you in a comforting embrace,
Until a smile appears upon your face,
And strength returns to face another day.
If thoughts could reach the universe afar,
I'd place a soothing cure on every star,
To heal the aching soul during a dream,
While angels chase away your silent scream.
If only these few words I wrote today,
Could do just that for you this cloudy day...

(((((HUGS)))))
Munda
muted
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Member Elite
since 01-15-2004
Posts 3021
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving


33 posted 03-06-2004 05:48 AM       View Profile for muted   Email muted   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for muted

hi Michael, im not sure what all those medicines are that you are taking to keep liquid down but, one that i use is Prochlorperazine (Stemetil)...it may just be a different name for something youve already tried. its not perfect, but it does ease alot of the vomitting. and it seems at this point you need to keep down anything you can.
I keep you in my thoughts and wishes even though you and i dont know one another...i really do hope that miracles happen.
keep fighting, keep loving, and know we are ALL here for you.
~Dawn
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


34 posted 03-06-2004 07:07 AM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

I am no expert..why not try sucking on some ice cubes...maybe they will trickle  the moisture needed rather than make you swallow larger amounts

hugs
M
Neeraja
Senior Member
since 06-22-2002
Posts 832
The Netherlands


35 posted 03-06-2004 07:30 AM       View Profile for Neeraja   Email Neeraja   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Neeraja

Dear Michael, you are in my prayers and thoughts, I think you are a very brave man!

A very tight hug!

Kit McCallum
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since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


36 posted 03-06-2004 08:17 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Michael, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. You've always had such a wonderful and positive attitude though, and that's so important. If you're getting dehydrated, please don't hesitate to get back on that IV, OK?

I hope you have a terrific visit with your sisters, and don't worry about them worrying. Just have a great visit.

Greeneyes
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Member Patricius
since 09-09-2000
Posts 10848
In Your Poetic Mind


37 posted 03-06-2004 09:30 AM       View Profile for Greeneyes   Email Greeneyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Greeneyes

Micheal ~

try gatorade? Pedialyte/Pedialyte freezer pops they may help?  I pray for you and your family eveyday, and like Kit said dont worry about your sisters seeing you weak, just enjoy the time....luv ya and always thinking about you!
  

~~**~~
There are moments when speech
is but a mouth pressed lightly and
humbly against the angel's hands.

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 08-31-99
Posts 3430
Oregon, Originally From Alaska


38 posted 03-06-2004 10:38 AM       View Profile for Justbleu   Email Justbleu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Justbleu's Home Page   View IP for Justbleu

You are so brave.  A pedialite popscicle might help or the ice cubes.  You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.  God is alwayz with you.  Have a wonderful visit with your sisters.  And know that we are ALL with you sweetie!!!

Take Care!!!
LOVE AND HUGS,
Bridgette  
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
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Hurricane Alley


39 posted 03-06-2004 12:40 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Michael, email me with the name of the county you live in and I can find services for you for free. They are out there it just takes some digging to find them.

I'm appalled that the doctor won't help you! They will give you a Scan but not help with keeping food/liquid down? Unbelievable!
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


40 posted 03-06-2004 12:45 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

for you, Michael
http://piptalk.com/pip/Forum88/HTML/002020.html#2
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 02-08-2003
Posts 21103
Eternity


41 posted 03-06-2004 01:11 PM       View Profile for Margherita   Email Margherita   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Margherita

Dear Michael, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you for your update. I am claustrophobic too and I understand how you felt. I hope I will never need a magnetic resonance test.
You wonder why you don't receive many e-mails or calls. Truth is that many don't know how to cope with sickness. Words fail and even if they love you and want to tell you, not always they are able to do so. I know it is sad, but I have noticed this.
You are being so brave dear one. I hope you will receive all you need!
Much love and hugs. Margherita
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


42 posted 03-07-2004 12:49 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Michael kindly replied to me and I supplied him with the name of a clinic that can give him medical services without regard to whether or not he can pay. Perhaps he can find some relief and at least be able to keep food/water down.
Kahlil
Senior Member
since 04-12-2003
Posts 1917


43 posted 03-07-2004 01:25 AM       View Profile for Kahlil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kahlil

Poet deV, it is wonderful that you were able to help him that way.  

We all love you, Michael...  ~K~
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


44 posted 03-07-2004 07:09 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Excellent Sharon!  

Michael, let us know how you make out, OK?
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


45 posted 03-07-2004 09:29 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

We're with you on your trek, Michael - hoping you take advantage of PdV's resources - and that you enjoy having your family with you... You're a strong man, sir - I commend you and pray for you...
Earth Angel
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since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


46 posted 03-07-2004 01:47 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Michael, at least an I.V. would help keep you hydrated and your electrolytes balanced (i.e. sodium, potassium, sugar). Dehyrdration and an electrolyte imbalance add to one's nausea ~ it can be a vicious circle. Nausea leads to dehydration which in turn leads to more nausea...I just went through weeks of that myself and became a mere shadow of myself!

Have your doctors considered gastric feedings by tube to help build up your strength? Sometimes the smell or look of food or the act of swallowing  makes the food come back up. I hope that you are able to have some form of relief. It is beyond comprehension all that you are having to endure, Dear Sweet Michael.

By all of the caring responses that you have been receiving, it is very apparent how beloved you are by your fellow Pipsters.

Sending you a rainbow of healing lights and may the angels surround you with their love and protection,

Linda
Justbleu
Member Elite
since 08-31-99
Posts 3430
Oregon, Originally From Alaska


47 posted 03-08-2004 02:05 AM       View Profile for Justbleu   Email Justbleu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Justbleu's Home Page   View IP for Justbleu

Sharon that was wonderful of you to help in the way you did.  You are a sweetie!!!!
Bridgette
Auguste
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Posts 5326
By the sea


48 posted 03-09-2004 01:01 AM       View Profile for Auguste   Email Auguste   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Auguste's Home Page   View IP for Auguste

The caring of each of you only causes me to fight on the good fight, the fight I have no choice but to win.

I'm still unable to eat even a small meal for days at a time, even keep liquids down, so I'm still seriously dehydrated.  My sleep still remains only an hour a night, at best, so I'm completely exhausted.

I go in today for the results of the tests they did, yeah, fearing the results, because so far I've yet to get any kind of good news from the doctors and really don't need to hear any more bad news right now.  Even so, I'll keep you informed as best I can.

Just know, I'm fighting, dear friends, with ALL that's in me.  

My hugs and God's own blessings to you all,

Michael  

The stars will shine when I am gone,
the earth will turn on as before,
the gulls, still race along the shore,
the morning star, still kiss the dawn

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


49 posted 03-09-2004 08:59 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Keeping you in my thoughts today, Michael.  
Martie will be notified of replies
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