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Passions in Poetry

I hope I did this right and it's not Dep Mod

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Auguste
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 02-16-2000
Posts 5326
By the sea


0 posted 11-16-2003 12:47 AM       View Profile for Auguste   Email Auguste   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Auguste's Home Page   View IP for Auguste


I love Dep Mod, so please don't misunderstand me.  I'm needing to post in Announcements and think I've found it.  I know that sounds stupid, in case I am already doing so, but my memory is so in and out these days, my short term memory, being especially fried.

As for an update, I still can't remember how to write, how to paint, what day, date, month it is, sometimes not even if I've eaten.  There are no caretakers, I take care of myself.  My weight loss has stablized, I beleive, or at least slowed down.

I've always loved Passions and very dearly.  It has heart, unlike most of the other poetry sites on the web, Passions gives a damn about ALL of its members, even the poet wannabe's, like me.

One day I'll be able to remember how to write and paint again, but right now my memory is so far gone.  It saddens me more than anyone could realize, even my own family.  My ability to paint, to create something lasting, saddens me the most.  I WANT to paint again, also to write, but writing is secondary to my painting, as I've always been an artist.

I don't know what I'm saying, only that I love and miss each one of you.  You can't imagine how much you've always been loved and how I miss you.

Passions is *home* and now I am having a problem of finding my way here.  Does that make any kind of sense?  I want to come home again.  I want to hear from my friends.  I need my memory stirred. I'll answer any e-mails you send.  

I so miss you all, SO miss you!!!

Michael  


Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


1 posted 11-16-2003 03:50 AM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

Michael, you are often in my prayers. How terribly difficult this all must be for such a creative and vital man such as yourself. You are greatly missed here at Passions and everyone is rooting for a recovery!

Loving, healing hugs,
Linda
PS It was wonderful to see that you dropped by! Keep us posted! You have a lot of friends here!

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (11-16-2003 03:51 AM).]

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


2 posted 11-16-2003 08:15 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Well said, Michael... Passions loves you too - Be well - God Bless...
Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


3 posted 11-16-2003 10:14 AM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

You are missed, but not forgotten. I do understand this heartache of not being able to create. It's an ache that permeates every pore, every breath. Do you ever just sit at the easel with paintbrush in hand, and let yourself touch brush to paint to canvas, 'as if?' I believe the art is still there, the knowledge is there, definitely the desire. Is there some way I can help you put all these things together?
Heart hugs, please know we think of you often. Kacy
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


4 posted 11-16-2003 12:06 PM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Michael, you found your way just fine, my friend.

Thanks so much for letting us know how things are going. I'm glad to hear you weight has stabalized.  How has the fishing been going?  Have you been out in the boat?



Michael, you are always close in my thoughts. You take care of you, and I hope that paintbrush begins to call to you before long.
Nightshade
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Member Laureate
since 08-31-2001
Posts 14673
just out of reach


5 posted 11-16-2003 02:42 PM       View Profile for Nightshade   Email Nightshade   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nightshade's Home Page   View IP for Nightshade

Hello my friend. So good to see you posting and keeping us updated. You will never be lost at Passions - we are all here for you. Take care. Love & Prayers, Chris
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


6 posted 11-16-2003 03:37 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

Hey Michael!
We're all right here my friend. You found us just fine.  Email me whenever you feel up to it..I would love to hear from you.
You are forever in my thoughts and prayers.
~Hugs, Nancy~
Auguste
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 02-16-2000
Posts 5326
By the sea


7 posted 11-17-2003 12:26 AM       View Profile for Auguste   Email Auguste   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Auguste's Home Page   View IP for Auguste

I'm managing to eat a little now, though not much, not even a complete meal, but at least I'm no longer throwing up.  The nausea has passed for now, praise God.

I'm skinny, having lost more than 30 pounds, am still having problems remembering when to take my meds, my short term memory still being a HUGE problem.

I still can't remember how to write or paint yet.  It seems that most of my time is spent apologizing for my memory these days and my pain has increased to the point that I can barely take it, spending most of my time in bed to help ease the suffering.  The suffering is very real, I'm walking with a serious limp now and can't walk at all without my cane.  I do very little walking because of the pain and use my wheelchair more than I ever have since this disease first manifested itself.

I wasn't a great poet, not even a particularly good one, but I SO miss sharing my feelings, drawing pictures with words to express what I felt, but what I mostly miss is all of you, being able to share my thoughts.  It's hard now to convery them in poetry, art, or just through an actual conversation.  I hate that!  I just miss everyone, especially myself.  I want "me" back.

Thanks for listening.  My love and dear caring to each of you.  You're great folks, dear friends and the BEST poetry site on the web!!!  

God loves you, as do I, believe it.   

The stars will shine when I am gone,
the earth will turn on as before,
the gulls, still race along the shore,
the morning star, still kiss the dawn

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 06-08-2002
Posts 5670
Jacksonville, Florida, USA


8 posted 11-17-2003 02:50 PM       View Profile for the_loner_23   Email the_loner_23   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_loner_23

You are missed Micheal. I hope things are well with you soon. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Cold hands means a warm heart

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


9 posted 11-17-2003 08:32 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Michael,
I just want you to know how touching I found your post. I can't say I even have any idea what you must be going through right now, but I do know how it feels to be lost and how good coming home can be. Know you are in my thoughts and prayers
Hugs,
Ruth
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


10 posted 11-18-2003 01:28 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Michael, you always have a place to talk to friends here, and I hope you would do that.  Take care of yourself, and did you trying doodling?  Great inspirations can come as you know from a plain old HB pencil
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