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the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

0 posted 2003-07-21 12:02 PM


  Here soon I might be dating a guy named Dennis. So I am preparing Liam for the day that comes. Dennis is the same faith as I am. One of my friends hooked us up. Dennis is in Tennessee. And my Dad still wants info from Dennis to see if he is worthy of me. So if that does happen and I do start dating Dennis (hopefully with Ron's permission) I can make a new account here. Don't want Dennis to see all the poems I wrote about Liam and get jealous. Ya know? It's time to move on.

Cold hands means a warm heart

© Copyright 2003 the_loner_23 - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2003-07-21 12:46 PM


LOL, doesn't Liam read here? Seems as if the cat's outta the bag already.
I'd say, let the new man read everything. There's no need to hide, and jealousy be danged! You have nothing to hide, Julie.

Miah
Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2003-07-21 12:54 PM


Spoken like a true young person. Just kidding.   

I wish you the best of luck.  But ouch for poor Liam.  Hope all goes well for you.!

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
3 posted 2003-07-21 02:17 AM


Jealousy is a beast that needs tamed sooner not later. I'm betting he'll be reading of Liam.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2003-07-21 03:41 AM


Listen to Larry.

He knows.

smile.

Julie? just be honest with everybody. That just seems more complicated, but I promise you that lies (even lies of omission) only complicate things.

Hugs you. New love, new life is exciting.

I'm thrilled for you.

But do tell Liam...just my opinion, but he's been a lovely friend and deserves that much, yes?


the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
5 posted 2003-07-21 11:55 AM


I have told Liam. But I still want a new account. My family knows nothing of Liam. And if Dennis finds out about Liam then my family will find out and then all kinds of crap will start.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2003-07-21 11:58 AM


If you invite Dennis to read your poetry, Julie - he will eventually learn about Liam.  You may as well be up front with Dennis as you say you have with Liam.
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
7 posted 2003-07-21 12:01 PM


Thing is I don't want Dennis finding out about Liam because then there will be nothing but dissappointment showed by my whole family.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Miah
Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062
Pennsylvania
8 posted 2003-07-21 12:17 PM


Why don't your family like Liam?
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
9 posted 2003-07-21 12:47 PM


He's not a Jehovah's Witness

Cold hands means a warm heart

Miah
Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062
Pennsylvania
10 posted 2003-07-21 01:35 PM


Oic.  My Aunt is a Jehovah's Witness and her husband is Catholic.  Well, in any case I still wish you the best of luck.
Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
11 posted 2003-07-21 08:01 PM


Well I can somewhat relate to your challenge. However, the failure of honesty about Liam is contributing to your current challenge. Honesty now is better than later. Oh the webs we weave...

Karen! I am grateful that jealousy was never my issue and neither was anger management. My challenges are more subtle.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

[This message has been edited by Larry C (07-21-2003 08:03 PM).]

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
12 posted 2003-07-21 08:47 PM


Have you met Dennis? Are you sure you're going to date him? I think you need to be totally honest with Liam. You owe him that much. Will you post a picture if you register under another name? What's to keep Dennis from seeing THIS photo and putting two and two together? (I know a lot of questions..sorry)
garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
13 posted 2003-07-21 09:16 PM


Julie, honesty from the beginning of a relationship is the best thing. If you wait to tell Dennis about Liam, it could just cause unnecessary hurt and heartache. Don't you think? And if you don't tell Dennis, you will always be afraid that he's going to find out some other way. You will be starting out a relationship with tension in it from you.

Goodness, we've given uyou a lot of advice, haven't we? We really care about you, Julie...that's why .  
Heart hugs  
Ethel

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

14 posted 2003-07-21 09:30 PM


hey Julie? this may not make sense to you, but I really think you should tell your parents about liam. I may have different veiws on religion, but your family has most definately taught you respect and tolerance, and if they cannot accept someone you used to love, then they are not being accepting. Then I want you to tell Dennis about laim. Because trust me, this will all get out eventualy, and if they find out on their own, they will be much less happy than if you tell them honestly.

my two cents brought to you by experience

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
15 posted 2003-07-22 09:26 AM



You're going to date Dennis just because he's a Jehova's Witness too?
What about physical attraction, what happened to falling in love first?

I know what you're afraid of when telling your parents about Liam, I know that much about your faith, but starting a relationship with someone new on a dishonest base, never works in the end ya know.

Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
16 posted 2003-07-22 10:36 AM


Julie, you're 24 right? You're an adult, do what YOU want to do. Not your parents. I know its difficult, because you love and respect them. But are they not willing to respect what you feel is right? if you live your life in the way someone else wants you to, you just end up bitter and regretful not too far down the line.

It seemed to me like you loved Liam very much, and i'm having a hard time believing that you could go from that to being so excited about having a new man in your life.

Are you sure you even want this relationship with this dennis? Is it purely an on line relationship? because if it is, and you want to conduct it here, dennis will find out about liam in the end.

So honey, just don't lie, for liams sake, for yours, and deniss'. Plus, you surely want to remain friends with liam right? lying about whatyou had with him will directly hurt liam too.

hope all goes ok jules, whatever you decide.

much love, gem xxx

Instant karma's gonna get you.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
17 posted 2003-07-22 01:26 PM


Julie, I know this may sound trite, "honesty is the best policy", but in the end that usually proves to be true.

Put all out there! Be open and honest to everyone--Liam, Dennis, your parents--and yourself! Then let the chips fall where they may. Know that all will work out the way it is supposed to--and with no deceptions. You will also have a better understanding of the character and motivations of the people involved--and you won't feel guilty or be fearful of being found out!

Final word, I promise!--Listen to all the advice that your caring friends have given to you--then do what you feel is right for you!

Loving hugs,
Linda

Ringo
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Member Elite
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes
18 posted 2003-07-22 03:57 PM


I would like to first congradulate you on your new find (hopefully). the only question I would have is do you want your new relationship to start out based on dishonesty??? By keeping secrets, you are, in a sense lying to him. And if he is not willing to let your past be just that, then is he worth it???
I do not know your situation, and am not attempting to impose my ideas on you, but rather am just getting you to look closely at this. The last time I started keeping secrets about my past, it blew up in my face, and I would hate to see it happen to you.

We see the light of those
Who find the world has passed them by
Too late to save a dream from growing cold...

Magicmystery
Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821
Windsor, Ontario, Canada
19 posted 2003-07-25 06:11 PM


Julie, you mean to tell us that for over a year you have been pining and pouting and carrying on about some dude who cares about you, and that more than likely you have never met in person?!?!? And Kept it a secret from your parents to boot!?!?!  Now there's a deception!!! I don't know how old you are but if you live under your parents' roof, they have a genuine right to know with whom and how you spend your time.  I wish you only happiness with your new beau, but I do know this.  Instead of building another layer upon this lie you started living last year, you should come clean... with your new boyfriend and with your parents more particularly.  Sure there may be reprocussions but I guarantee you that the stress of carrying that lie will eat you  alive and take all the joy out of your new relationship.  The only way to earn your parents trust is to be honest with them, even about past deceptions.  You don't clean the slate by getting new identity and log-in, but by owning up to who you are and who you've been.

What if one of us knows you in your new identity and say something about Liam and we don't realize that this could stir up a whole hornet's nest?~~~ What then?

It's much better to spill the beans now than wind up in the middle of the chili later.

Take Care,

Sherry

Cherish the good memories of the past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow. But above all... be kind to yourself today.

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
20 posted 2003-08-01 09:46 AM


I think your new fellow SHOULD see them -- especially the ones where you whomped on him! Let the guy know that while there are obvious rewards, there are also some wailin' punishments if he messes up!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

KristieSue
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Senior Member
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460
PA, US
21 posted 2003-08-01 11:19 AM


LOL @ Ratleader

I think you SHOULD tell Dennis.  I mean, it's part of your PAST and if he can't accept it, then he is not good enough for you...

and as far as your parents.  Take it from one chicken to another:  the knowledge that YOU have a clear conscience of openness with your family outweights the crap you have to listen to...and makes it easier to walk in life....

and how is Dennis not going to see all this discussion? LOL

Good luck in whatever you decide.

Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
22 posted 2003-08-01 10:10 PM


Personally Julie, and no offense from me, but I be so offended if I were liam....I am not even sure why you felt the need to post this here??    heed all advice given....


Lauren~

The way you move me
I walk with your shadow
With your silhouette
Leave the light on
It always comes
Back to you

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