in the interzone now
Hey, peoples. I fell off the face of my computer about a month ago, I know, but I do have my reasons.
Animal lovers would understand. My ferret, Fidget, a pet of the past five years, was put down on Sep. 2, and I just sort of shut down with that.
I'm one of those weird people who can barely talk to a human being but gets unhealthily attached to li'l critters. Especially since Fidge basically put me into the role of mother within a week of us getting her. I was the first to hold her while she slept, so she assumed that I would always mean safety and comfort and love. And food. And water. And treats.
She had me trained.
And five years is a long time, especially when you're as young as me.
The sudden realization that nothing is forever, not even things you love dearly, just bowled me over. I didn't want to exist to anyone 'cept Mike anymore.
Healing has begun. I re-emerge. But I still walk out of my room sometimes, about to call out Fidget's name so she'll be looking up at me from her cage on the landing when I walk past, but then I catch myself and it hits me all over again when I see the empty spot.
I'm still alive, though I did have quite the scare concerning my mortality a few nights back, and I've decided to dredge myself up again. To write again. To share again. I have to keep purging all my inner demons, after all, or I'll just become one huge amalgamation of demony angst. And who needs that?
And so I shall purge myself... With a poem in Dark.
I is back.
your tongue's like poison
so swollen it fills up my mouth