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Anvrill
Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710
in the interzone now

0 posted 2002-09-26 03:19 AM


Hey, peoples. I fell off the face of my computer about a month ago, I know, but I do have my reasons.

Animal lovers would understand. My ferret, Fidget, a pet of the past five years, was put down on Sep. 2, and I just sort of shut down with that.

I'm one of those weird people who can barely talk to a human being but gets unhealthily attached to li'l critters. Especially since Fidge basically put me into the role of mother within a week of us getting her. I was the first to hold her while she slept, so she assumed that I would always mean safety and comfort and love. And food. And water. And treats.

She had me trained.

And five years is a long time, especially when you're as young as me.

The sudden realization that nothing is forever, not even things you love dearly, just bowled me over. I didn't want to exist to anyone 'cept Mike anymore.

Healing has begun. I re-emerge. But I still walk out of my room sometimes, about to call out Fidget's name so she'll be looking up at me from her cage on the landing when I walk past, but then I catch myself and it hits me all over again when I see the empty spot.

I'm still alive, though I did have quite the scare concerning my mortality a few nights back, and I've decided to dredge myself up again. To write again. To share again. I have to keep purging all my inner demons, after all, or I'll just become one huge amalgamation of demony angst. And who needs that?

And so I shall purge myself... With a poem in Dark.

I is back.

your tongue's like poison
so swollen it fills up my mouth

rs

© Copyright 2002 LL Hager - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-09-26 03:27 AM


I noticed.

And I'm very glad you are back.


OH. And I'm still here. (assuming anyone noticed!)

Hugs you.

I am an animal lover...my dog...

Well, he has a lovely brick-lined grave--white rock chips, and a lovely JFK rosebush planted atop, AND a St. Francis statue with a little lantern for candles. Sigh.

I finally stopped when someone asked me when I was going to run the gasline for the "eternal flame."

SO....me understands.

Welcome home...

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2002-09-26 07:02 AM



One thing about getting older is that your human pets usually don't get to be as old as you...but looking at it in the light that God made us caretakers of creatures that can be domesticated...well then, there is another pet out there that is looking for a good home, such as yours, and Fidge made room for another love to come in...

Hugs to you, and welcome home.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

3 posted 2002-09-26 11:51 AM


Glad to see you back, babygrrl.
The place was so
*blue*
without you.


PoetryIsLife
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
4 posted 2002-09-26 02:10 PM


I noticed.

It's amazing how some things can hit us so hard.... I have a lot on my mind at the moment, and I'm just sitting here, thinking, pondering, contempating, walking through the maze of life. Hmm... do I sense a poem coming on?

Sincerely,
Titus

"My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems."

(2002 Copyright)

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2002-09-26 03:15 PM


But of course!
We all noticed you were missing...
Happy to see you back...HUGS!

Anvrill
Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710
in the interzone now
6 posted 2002-09-27 01:25 PM


Thank y', peoples.

I'm going to be soooo busy with school and work, of course, that it may not SEEM like I'm back, but I swear I am.

I'm gonna be a certified web designer! By the age of 20! Actually, that's almost terrifying... But yeh, that means lots of school. Grr. I can survive. It's actually fun.

your tongue's like poison
so swollen it fills up my mouth

rs

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

7 posted 2002-09-27 01:44 PM


Cool, one of will have a job
and one of us will weep in the gutter.

See ya there!

GutterGuy

Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
8 posted 2002-09-27 04:08 PM


Welcome back Anvrill!

I completely understand the loss of a pet.
I just had to put my dog down yesterday due to cancer.
It's never easy.

Though, I'm glad you're healing and on your way back.
And congrats on your Web design!

~Sheri

"Don't wait for your ship to come in ...
Swim out to it"

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

9 posted 2002-09-27 11:13 PM


I noticed.  
I relate to the loss.  I recently moved and brought Dixie's tombstone with me.  And like K, several of my cats, mice, fish, hamsters and a dog are buried beneath a statue of St. Francis.  
Nice to see ya, again!

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
10 posted 2002-09-27 11:32 PM


I noticed.

And I understand. Welcome home.

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
11 posted 2002-09-28 03:51 AM


GOOD!
and sorry about your pet
we may be going through this soon too
a nine year old dog
with breast tumors and a heart murmur
mmm
and
posty those angsty
Loresty's
Lori
(and pull harder on that harpoon rope
   sullen, antsy squirrel

brian

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
12 posted 2002-09-28 08:17 AM


WELL DUH!
Of course we noticed you were gone.

Welcome back, and I'm sorry about the loss of your pet. Hell, I cried when my fish died not so long ago. *sigh*

laters...looking forward to reading you again.


"two hearts will build the foundation for one point of light
a duet done with passion"

excerpt from "I Love You"

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
13 posted 2002-10-08 10:46 PM


Welcome back, Lori...
I am so sorry about Fidget...  Not being a pet person, myself... I don't really know how it feels to bury a pet.  We had a cat who became too hard for us to take care of, but we found him a good home with a good family...  I certainly wouldn't allow him to go to Animal Control because I knew they would put him to sleep...
I was wondering where you were... and I'm glad you're back.
I'm still trying to get back here from Florida.  I'm back in Michigan and sitting at my computer, but I don't feel like I'm really back yet... even though I've been here for a whole day.
~ welcome back hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

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