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Passions in Poetry

ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND

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Rex Allen McCoy
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since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


0 posted 05-19-2009 03:02 AM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy


I couldn't help but laugh at this one
~~~~

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Paul. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Betty Jo. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Betty Jo to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her... Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think.  For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Betty Jo. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Signed, Paul

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Paul died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Betty Jo was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Paul, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.






  
  









  








nakdthoughts
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since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


1 posted 05-19-2009 07:57 AM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

sure love that ending!!!!


M
Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


2 posted 05-19-2009 09:24 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Loved the story but I was constantly distracted by how CUTE you are Rex!! Sigh...





Kaoru
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since 06-07-2003
Posts 3888
where the wild flowers grow


3 posted 05-19-2009 09:37 AM       View Profile for Kaoru   Email Kaoru   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kaoru

Well, that's a good reason to always look before you sit.
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 01-30-2000
Posts 2636
Sippin a Timmy's in London


4 posted 05-19-2009 09:52 AM       View Profile for Rex Allen McCoy   Email Rex Allen McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Rex Allen McCoy's Home Page   View IP for Rex Allen McCoy

It is a good ending ... yet I can't help but wonder if there could be any other good endings for "Paul"
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Now Ms deVine ... that's a point of view I haven't heard pointed in my direction in a while .... thankyou
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Poet deVine
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since 05-26-99
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Hurricane Alley


5 posted 05-19-2009 01:26 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

REX!!! Are you kidding me? Hun...step into my parlour a minute..sit there on that red velvet love seat..now let me just tell you something. A man is as sexy as the twinkle in his eye..and sugar them eyes is TWINKLETIME hot!

(PDV fans herself with a file folder - being she's at work and all)

Ok...I need a cold shower now...

and btw - I think Paul should have gotten an iron too...upside the head!

crosscountry83
Member
since 07-30-2009
Posts 335


6 posted 08-04-2009 10:33 PM       View Profile for crosscountry83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for crosscountry83

rofl!  I'm feeling really sad now, I just cried for about four hours, won't say why 'cause I'll cry again, but this actually made me laugh.

Rileigh
Yoinn
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since 08-16-2007
Posts 631
Michigan


7 posted 08-09-2009 10:20 AM       View Profile for Yoinn   Email Yoinn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Yoinn's Home Page   View IP for Yoinn

LOL... yeah its always funny when Men are the object of abuse by women..just friggen hilarious. hahah....she killed him with a blunt object ho ho...great!

Yoin
Mysteria
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since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


8 posted 08-09-2009 10:55 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

I am one that happens to think that is what golf clubs should be for having married 3 different golfers!  
There are two sides to a pancake, and I have to admit women have a hard time just simply stating what they want, then something wonderful like this will often happen. I never had that problem - hence 3!  Always ask now if men are golfers.  

Very, very funny.  I know a golfer here that may enjoy this, so will forward it along to our Balladeer.

I see you got that Poet deVine out of her cave to play, good for you!  


     
            Mysteria
Huan Yi
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since 10-12-2004
Posts 6334
Waukegan


9 posted 08-20-2009 07:08 PM       View Profile for Huan Yi   Email Huan Yi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Huan Yi

.


Yoinn,

"Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor."

George Jean Nathan


.

 
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