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Passions in Poetry

Smoking or Non-smoking?

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serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


25 posted 05-07-2009 04:00 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I am very hoarse and kinda tired, but Kraw?

I already did edit myself, because, and I'm very embarrassed to admit--my husband was accustomed to telling others I was the only person he knew who actually woke up to take a cigarette break from sleeping.

Nod.

I started a fire in my own pillow.

And E, and Rae, I always justified my habits by stating I hurt none but me, but I could have burned the house down...and after losing loved ones, I really need to respect myself as much as my loved ones do.

I am going to try a plan a friend of mine suggested--I'll switch to um, I think it's American Spirit or something like that, but the idea is that I negotiate myself down to the point where I'm addicted to only nicotine.

You do know that our U.S. brand cigs are treated with a chemical that "quick-dries" tobacco leaves, and makes our tobacco all the more addictive.

I don't know...

This depresses the hell out of me.

My daughter is right.

I did honestly believe I had the tenacity to charge through a stone-stack wall. And hey--I have gone cold turkey on many drugs--but this time I think I might try some actual help.

This one is like leaping hurdles in a long jump--I've been smoking since I was nine. So that means, that as of my birthday, I have been smoking forty years.

*smile*

Now that's downright biblical.

Love to you both, and thank you.

I won't stop trying.

(Well, I will, but I'll take up the cause again--I'm a bit moody. *chuckle*)

Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


26 posted 05-07-2009 10:43 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

quote:
I just don't know what to do with my damned hands!!!


When they're not writing, put them in hot water. Try the lozenges and patches if necessary. Count up the dollars gone up in smoke and round it out to a year's time. You really want to throw THAT much money away?

Yeah, I know, my hubby went back to smoking too. I'm a real witch around him when he lights up around ME and destroying MY lungs, which are already genetically approved by both sides of my family for emphysema.

Karen - you remember my brother, Fagan? You're what, in your 40's? He died at age 52, from his beloved cigarette and other complications due to the emphysema. And to be even a little more rough, you really don't want to see your grandchildren?

Mom asked me one time to write a lovely but explicitly direct letter to my Dad because in between times of keeping away from the cigs, there were the few times he would sneak one. Just one. But it always seemed that was when Mom would walk in.     And you think I'm a witch? Even my cackle is improving...but Mom was devious too. Like getting her daughter to write her Dad and say something to the effect that,

"I'll be glad when we can move closer to home, Dad, so you can see your grandgirls more often.  I really want them to be able to do the things with you that you did with me - fishing, walking the beach, showing them how to climb trees, and how to run fast. They also need to learn how to ride a bike - you'll be here for them, won't you?"

And the letter went on for a bit, well, long enough for my dad to get really, really mad and what ended up funny was that my sister was really concerned because Dad got really mad and stomped out of the house - and she read the letter and got mad at ME for upsetting Dad - not knowing that Mom asked me to do this in the first place.

So my question is, do you want your daughter to ever write a letter similar to this one, to you?

Nah. You want to save up the dollars you spend on cigs and put them in a can so that when you ARE graced with grandchildren - and you will be - you will be able to take them [pre-mortem] to lovely places and share wonderful times on the cigarette money that didn't go up in smoke.

I'm ON YOUR SIDE to do what you can to kick this one, honey. If you hadn't brought up this subject, I would have left you alone about it. But you did. And so have I.






Kaoru
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where the wild flowers grow


27 posted 05-07-2009 01:26 PM       View Profile for Kaoru   Email Kaoru   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kaoru

I need to quit, too. Problem is, I don't know if I want to. I try about once a month and get fussed at for being a crab. Well, give me a smoke and my lovin' comes out like that's the secret.

I, for one, know of the risks. I can't sleep at all so that's probably one of the contributing factors..but hell, I cut down a lot when I decided to start smoking outside instead of in the smoke room..it was the middle of winter up here and I never wanted to smoke..it hurt to, actually. So, maybe try going out to do it, even though you have nice weather it's still more of a chore to have to get up and go outside to do it. I never leave my smokes by my computer, either.. makes them too accessible.
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


28 posted 05-07-2009 04:44 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

K, I'm not going to tell you the dangers of smoking or why you should quit because you already know them... and I can't offer suggestions on HOW to reach your smoke-free goal because I've never lit a cigarette. But I can say that... while this is your journey... you don't have to make it alone. Any time, day or night... to whine and cry or scream... I'm at the other end of the phone.
And I believe in you, lady.
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


29 posted 05-07-2009 04:46 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Karilea--where the heck have ya been?

and thank you Kaoru, too.

I put made this public for the emotional support, and the great advice I always receive from all ye wise folk.

This one is one of the toughest things I've ever tried to kick. And I have a little experience in some tough habits. Nod.

To give you an idea what a tough hold this has on people, last night I went out to the Quarter, and I am no longer as generous with the stogies as I once was. I kept telling one guy no, until he gave me two bucks for a single cigarrette. I did ask him that if money wasn't an issue, why didn't he just go buy a pack?

And he replied that he didn't want to start up "all the way" again.

M'self? It's all or nothing.

My brother has the ability to smoke only when he goes out. And that's the only time he smokes. I wish I could be like that...

And btw, I did receive an Rx for that "chantrix" stuff. My insurance wouldn't cover it, and it's kinda pricey. I'm puzzled as to why my health care provider is not more supportive of my efforts, too. But they do a lot of stuff that just doesn't make financial sense to me.

So I dunno. I'll try the "ween" method. And Kaoru? I don't think I ever actually wanted to quit before this time. But I'm at this place in my life where I'm wondering what it is like to just wake up feeling good.

When the doc suggested to me that I stop drinking hard liquor (I was totally honest about my habits with the guy.) He said he knew that it was unlikely that I'd quit drinking completely, so he suggested I just tone it down to red wine (and oh, I am allowed BEER) and yes, I have slipped, and it's shocking to me now how bad the stuff makes me feel. Equally shocking is how much better I feel emotionally. I always thought that alcohol was alcohol--in any form, and the folks who boasted that they drank only wine or beer was just kidding themselves.

But the good doc said that at least the lesser of the evils have some nutritional value.

So yep, I know I'm not around Pip as much as I once was, but that's because I'm going out. I'd forgotten how much I truly enjoy "my people".

And btw? I had a freaking blast again.

Chicks did me. *chuckle*

At least I think they were chicks.

And Kari? While I was in my beloved French Quarter, it did occur to me that if I had all the money I ever spent on bad habits, I could have one of those sweet homes with the beautiful balconies...

sigh and smile...My desire to live there nearly has me considering trying again to write something. And yeah, for the money. Why not try to make money doing what you love to do?

I actually tossed a screenplay I'd worked on when I'd lost my dog Fred. I thought it was just fun and rather silly. I called it "Finding Fred". I thought why add to the slew of lost dog movies that already exist.

Now there's a BUNCH of dog movies out there.

I have some other ideas...and I know it's a long shot, but hey? If it happened for Diablo Cody...? *grin* So I'll think about it.

Ciao for now, folks. I love you all. *smooch*

(My breath stinks, huh?) sigh...
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


30 posted 05-07-2009 04:47 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Ruth? I just totally adore you.

Folks, she is truly one of the kindest people on the planet.
Denise
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31 posted 05-09-2009 09:00 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

My doctor told me that most insurance companies don't pay for Chantrix because the success rate isn't that good, Karen. Of course I don't know how they know that since it hasn't been available for very long and I don't know how many studies of the effectiveness they could possibly have done by now. Maybe it has more to do with the price, it being a relatively new drug on the market, and the insurers are waiting for it to become a little more affordable before they will agree to subsidize it?  
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


32 posted 05-09-2009 10:33 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I dunno either. But insurance companies have baffled me ever since they insisted I submit to two separate MRI's, when one would have sufficed if they had only given me the "dye".

But my husband just purchased a couple of packs of an additive free brand of cigarettes.

And call it serendipity, call it the wagging finger of God, but I just now discovered that yet another friend has inoperable lung cancer...

That's the second one in two weeks. What's scary is that my friend quit smoking 15 years ago.

The word "cancer" is now ranked number one on my obscenity list.

sigh

Much love and luck to any and all of you who are trying to kill the dreadful monkey along with me. And thank you for your understanding.
Titia Geertman
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since 05-07-2001
Posts 5297
Netherlands


33 posted 05-10-2009 12:10 PM       View Profile for Titia Geertman   Email Titia Geertman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Titia Geertman's Home Page   View IP for Titia Geertman

Well, sorry Karen, I'm of no use to you with this problem. I'm a smoker who never tried to stop and probably never will.

Geez, I'll be a rarity in a couple of years.

But...I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and just know that I'll never condemn you if you won't make it.

The smell of smoke can't be worse than the smell of sheep (in my case) LOL

But it did happen, when Mommy Muys had to go to the hospital and I had to give a letter from the doctor to the girl behind the desk, that she asked me if I had smoked a cigarette in my car. She could smell it on the envelop.

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

sandgrain
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 3657
Sycamore, IL, USA


34 posted 05-10-2009 04:55 PM       View Profile for sandgrain   Email sandgrain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sandgrain

Karen, this interesting thread is like watching an ongoing "soap," or maybe it's like a confessional. LOL  Now we're learning about all of us who have/had this habit.  For so many years, it seemed almost everyone smoked.  When I was in real estate, the car ashtreys filled up so quickly, and you never sat down to write a contract without coffee and and an ashtrey.

As time passed, more and more I felt so dirty and like a black sheep for being the lone smoker.  My wonderful mom died of emphasema, complicated by ovarian cancer.  She told me more than once, that she prayed I'd quit and never have to go through that.
It made me cry, but not quit.  Now isn't that sad?

Rebecca quit quite a while before her cancer bout.  She smoked so much, her walls were yellow.  I was so elated when she quit, but I still puffed away, although not around her.

My husband quit many years before I did and I recalled scowling at my sister who continued smoking after her husband quit, and saying, "If my husband quit, I'd definitely quit."  HA! Talk was cheap!  The apostle, Paul, in the bible, wrote that he does what his mind does not want him to do.

My late mom-in-law, who never smoked, used to come stand over or next to me, no matter where I was smoking, and cough and wave her hands around to clear the smoke.  I loved her, and understood she thought she'd help me not smoke.  Actually, it only tended to make me nervous and want to go far away to smoke in peace.  It's that old story of no one can help someone unless they're ready and wanting to be helped. Even if I was ready, that was not the kind of help I wanted.

Karen, I think you're used to smoking, but really serious about quitting.  I'll be praying for you unless that would tend to make you nervous and angry. LOL

God bless,
  Rae

P.S.  HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


35 posted 05-10-2009 07:26 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Rae, I know it's not the same, coming from me, but I wanted you to know that I hold you in my heart, thoughts and prayers this day.



thank you just for being...
Bob K
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since 11-03-2007
Posts 3860


36 posted 05-11-2009 09:28 AM       View Profile for Bob K   Email Bob K   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bob K


Dear Serenity,

          Congratulations on quitting successfully for 27 hours.  What was that time like?  How did it feel to be tobacco free for that time?  What did you do during that time to keep yourself going successfully? And what do you need to build on that fine start so that you can get more of the good stuff that you actually did get, and what can you do and how can we help you eliminate some of the stuff that got in your way?

     Let's see if we can arrange for the next quitting and learning step to be at least as long, and for you to be able to examine what you've learned much more quickly.  Remember that in the end it has to be even more rewarding moment to moment to quit than it is to continue.

Love,  Bob Kaven
sandgrain
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 3657
Sycamore, IL, USA


37 posted 05-11-2009 02:39 PM       View Profile for sandgrain   Email sandgrain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sandgrain

AHA! Bob knows how to do this right. Seek out the positive and build on it.  I find so much positive about you, Karen, but I have no idea how to impliment it into your goal to be smoke free.  That's definitely the way to go.

Thanks for the prayer, Karen.  I need them.

  God bless,
   Rae
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


38 posted 05-11-2009 03:58 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

smile...

Thank you, Bob. (and as always, Rae)

That day was like walking around without a cane--I felt a little unsteady on my "emotional feet". You'd think I'd be used to that by now.

But the positive was that when I woke up, I realized I hadn't been wheezing. I didn't have an ashtray mouth either.

And if we gonna go through the whole psychology of it, I went to buy a pack when a family bickering started. (I can't even begin to convey how much I hate bickering.)

When everybody lost their tempers, I was about to lose mine, so I figured I'd rather do damage to myself than to anyone else.

(Yelling "Stop it, stop it, stop it" at a houseful of people didn't seem to give me the same satisfaction.) Um, and neither option worked either.

Triggers? laughing

Sitting here is one. Going out is a big one. (I ran into an old friend Friday night--she smokes in the shower and there's many more. Morning coffee, after meals, and this one is embarrassing--I realized that I would take cigarette breaks while doing housework. Yanno? That housework never seemed to get done? *smile*

Thanks all. I should be on a patch by the end of the week. And yep, I'm a little skeered. I hate failing at anything yanno.

*pout*
Bob K
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since 11-03-2007
Posts 3860


39 posted 05-11-2009 06:05 PM       View Profile for Bob K   Email Bob K   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bob K



Dear Serenity,

          The first couple of hundred times you tried to stand up you fell on your can, I'd be willing to bet my usual nickel max on.  Used to be a penny:  A guy's got to modernize, even if only to keep up with inflation.  

     Let's see.  You found that you enjoyed breathing, and that your wheezing was cut down or gone within a day.  And that you'd gotten your ability to notice things back a bit.  Sounds like that may be one of the nice things that you use smoking for, not to notice things?  Like grumbly and feisty family?  Any truth to that?

     Say, Thank you, smoking.  And try meaning it if there's any truth in it.  The smoking's been doing a job for you here since you were nine years old.

     Is there some thing that you can do that might work better than what a nine year old can come up with to help you cope with scary family bickering?  It needs to work better and to feel safer to that same scared nine year old who picked up the butts.  

     Is there something?  She needs to feel safer and more protected and ... what? ...happier?

     What does that mean needs to be different when you next quit.  What should you keep an eye on then?  What do you think will make it easier?

     My suggestion about seeing a good Ericksonian hypnotist or somebody well trained in NLP still stands, by the way, and would make the whole thing much easier for you.

     Keep in mind that you already have quit, and that you're gathering information about what worked well so you can learn more and put it into practice next time.
Keep on trucking, Mama.

All my best,

Bob Kaven


 
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