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Passions in Poetry

my life

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sarlou
Junior Member
since 03-23-2008
Posts 16
burnley,lancashire,england


0 posted 03-26-2008 04:53 PM       View Profile for sarlou   Email sarlou   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sarlou


Please sit down, the doctor said
as I entered the room
what can I do for you today
your face is full of gloom

oh doctor, I said I feel so sad
sometimes i dont feel like getting out of bed
and when im alone and no-ones there
a million tiny tears I shed

when I go outside I get so dizzy
and my chest begins to tighten
I feel so strange and begin to cry
I dont know why it is i'm frightened

just relax, the doctor said
I think I know whats wrong
I can help you to get better
But you have to be strong

I think you have depression
and suffer panic attacks
take these meds everyday
if they dont work just come back

that was 10 years ago, its still the same
in fact I think its worse
I dont know exactly whats wrong with me
perhaps i'm under somebodys curse

but now i see things differently
i take things day by day
one day i know i will get better
i just have to find a way.
true story that, I suffer from extreme anxiety attacks and depression and have done since i was 14. i also suffer from some form of agoraphobia and i couldnt leave the house for 18 months.
I have'nt been into town since last year and have no social life whatsoever.
BloodFairy18
Junior Member
since 02-22-2008
Posts 12
Canada


1 posted 03-29-2008 10:42 PM       View Profile for BloodFairy18   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BloodFairy18

wow , im so sorry about things , i know what its like to be a little afraid of things , i got anxioty issues too but they aint no where near as bad as yours . I really hope you just stay strong and get through it . The world can be a very beautiful place if you give it a chance and be positive about things . Good luck with everything and i know you will get better too
sarlou
Junior Member
since 03-23-2008
Posts 16
burnley,lancashire,england


2 posted 03-30-2008 03:46 PM       View Profile for sarlou   Email sarlou   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sarlou

thanx for that, im hoping. im in councilling now and it seems to be kind of workin for me.
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


3 posted 03-30-2008 04:38 PM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

This sounds hideous, Sarah.  I hope that you get the help that you need to open up your life a bit more.  

A
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


4 posted 03-30-2008 08:28 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

I can relate although I am probably older than you.  When  my husband left me around 8 years ago I couldn't leave the house for a year without friends dragging me out.I couldn't face people.

I couldn't open mail because I couldn't deal with the bills coming if I couldn't pay on time (I still have some trouble with that although I can make the payments now  

I also had anxiety attacks and pains in my chest and would even have more fears because I didn't know what was happening to my body. I thought I was having a heart attack but it turned out I was hyperventilating and keeping my body so tense that I pushed a rib out of place causing the pain. I actually was having a nervous breakdown, but to my nerves in my body  not the emotional kind. Hyperventilating enough can really mess up your body. Finally the doctor  saw me hyperventilate and put me on anti depressants but only  for a year until  my body calmed down and weaned me off of them when I  realized I wasn't going to die from the attacks.

I didn't want to be dependent on them forever. It was loss of control over my life and fear of the unknown.

Sometimes I still want to just stay in the house on days when I feel overwhelmed but getting out slowly helped. Taking walks, exercising, riding on the bike trail even if alone, and listening to music so I couldn't let my thoughts go to the negative helped. It's hard but it can be overcome, as you say one day at a time.


M
eternally_singing
Member
since 12-18-2007
Posts 123
PA, United States


5 posted 04-02-2008 07:17 PM       View Profile for eternally_singing   Email eternally_singing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for eternally_singing

I can relate to the panic attacks and depression completely. It is horrifying when everything seems out of control and the panic attacks are causing such pain.
I was 14 also when they first started occurring and at one point they would occur once a week. Since then I have had two panic attacks that have landed me in the hospital.
The doctor responded in very much the same way as you described by prescribing me medicine. It helped but I felt so out of control of my life, and depressed at times because I felt that I needed pills to stay normal. I couldnít take it anymore so I stopped taking them. I guess it wasnít the smartest way to end it since I didnít tell anyone about it before hand and I did it all at once instead of little by little. Instead of medication I found alternative ways to deal with it such as varying forms of exercise and by taking time out of each day for myself.

Just take life moment by moment. I hope things improve for you!

At night a candle's brighter than the sun

 
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