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Nightshade
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0 posted 2005-01-05 03:37 PM


Things like this bother me. Not in a bad way really ... just sort of pop up in my mind and make me wonder if anyone else ever thinks this way. For example:

If croutons are only stale bread bits ...
Why do they come in a sealed package?

© Copyright 2005 Chris Barker - All Rights Reserved
GG
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1 posted 2005-01-05 03:43 PM


Because you don't want them to get more soggy.

Unless you're like me...
Then you open the package
and let them sit out about two days...
And then you eat them.

It's thoughts like this that keep me from sleeping every night.

... So, next question?


Sunshine
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2 posted 2005-01-05 03:48 PM


Why is it as your standing next to the oven pulling out a roast and it is visible to all in the kitchen, does the husband ask, "what's for supper?"
GG
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3 posted 2005-01-05 04:07 PM


lol
Because males are unbelievably stupid... that's why.

(Uh, no offense to all you males. We still love you... Sometimes.)

Christopher
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4 posted 2005-01-05 04:19 PM


there's no way I'd ever do that, Kari...

i'm never in the kitchen.

Enchantress
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5 posted 2005-01-05 04:21 PM


Why is it that when I get clumsy
and say fall off the back porch or something,
mine says..."Now what did you do that for?"

Enchantress
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6 posted 2005-01-05 04:22 PM


AND, why does it cost more when they REMOVE the salt or sugar from a product??
Alicat
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7 posted 2005-01-05 09:28 PM


And why is 'health food' so bad for your wallet while 'junk food' is bad for your body?

The youngest here always has that 'what's for dinner?' question, even when I was cooking up 3 gallons of pork loin chili in the garage.  You could smell that stuff all through the house and outdoors, since it was slow cooking for a good 7 hours with lots of scrummylicious spices.  Makes me drool just thinking about it.  Good thing we still got 2 quarts of it in the freezer.

Nightshade
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8 posted 2005-01-05 09:44 PM


yah...and why doesn't the flower "Baby's Breath" smell like milk or pablum?
Enchantress
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9 posted 2005-01-05 10:03 PM


And why is it called Chili when it's SO hot!!
Sunshine
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10 posted 2005-01-05 10:31 PM


and why does ice cream melt?
Christopher
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11 posted 2005-01-05 10:32 PM


quote:
yah...and why doesn't the flower "Baby's Breath" smell like milk or pablum?
As I can attest to from experience with my young son, milk & pablum are not the smells that come from the orifice that 50% of the time serves as an exit for his incessant gastrointestinal expulsions.

Nightshade
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12 posted 2005-01-05 10:49 PM


Yes, Christopher, you are correct.

But...then why doesn't the flower Baby's Breath smell like "upchuck" or "poopoo" ?





Not A Poet
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13 posted 2005-01-06 12:12 PM


Ice cream doesn't melt in our part of the country right now

Sunshine
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14 posted 2005-01-06 06:49 AM


I'd have to put a fire under the ice cream right now...it's ZERO!
Chanson
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15 posted 2005-01-06 06:59 AM


And why do people say, "I could care less" when they really mean "I couldn't care less"? And "could of" instead of "could have"? (Me thinks I dreamt about my 7th grade English teacher last night.)
Nightshade
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16 posted 2005-01-06 10:28 AM


lol with Chanson. That bothers me as well.
Good to see you by the way!

Why doesn't my hair colour ever turn out like it shows in the pic on the box?
umm...err..hee hee..only tried it..once?

Enchantress
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17 posted 2005-01-06 10:43 AM



yes..one time I recall it turning out almost green!

And how come my cakes don't turn out as pictured?

Nightshade
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18 posted 2005-01-06 11:02 AM


..uh, yes...oh yee of natural hair colour...and I recall your tart shells after they cooled....were used as ashtrays!


Sunshine
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19 posted 2005-01-06 11:36 AM



Why is it that any boxed "fixings" for lunch/supper ALWAYS taste better once "tweaked" with more stuff?

Chanson
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20 posted 2005-01-06 02:16 PM


LOL at Nightshade.

Ya mean you buy the hair color to change your hair color?? I buy it to look like the woman on the box modeling the hair color! haaaaaaaa No WONDER it doesn't work!

And why am I the only one in the household who puts down the darn toilet seat? Don't the 'hes' of this household EVER sit?

(Some things ya just don't wanna know....  

Christopher
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21 posted 2005-01-06 08:36 PM


it takes more effort to lift a seat than to drop it down

ergo, men should be allowed to leave it up, since there is less expenditure of energy required. (and if anyone chooses to comment on the potential laziness of this idea has obviously never had to expend said energy in the middle of the night)

Chanson
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22 posted 2005-01-06 09:04 PM


You have a point, Christopher. I think I prefer putting the seat down myself, quietly, than hearing a loud CLUNK in the middle of the night. But still! *haaa
Enchantress
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23 posted 2005-01-06 09:14 PM


Wonder if Christopher has ever run in in the middle of the night and sat down on what was supposed to be a toilet seat..and almost fallen in or got the shock of his life from the cold rim?
SEA
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24 posted 2005-01-06 09:19 PM


or that wonderful splash when you don't hit that rim at all! That...is why the seat stays down rofl...
Alicat
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25 posted 2005-01-06 09:39 PM


Decent, marginally, responses so far.  Keep it clean though, or off to Grok This it goes.

I'm being nice, having a full belly from Claim Jumper's family size lasagne.  For once, store bought lasagne that isn't all watery or overly wet!  I'll have to keep that in mind for when I'm craving lasagne again.  I won't even attempt to answer the age old question of why food from a frozen entree never looks like the picture on the box.  While studying Dietetics back in the early 90's, I learned of a thriving trade: culinary cosmotology, or how to make 'food' look good in pictures, even if it's un-eatable, such as photo shots of ice-cream, which is almost entirely composed of pure lard....doesn't melt that quickly under hot lights yessee.

Nightshade
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26 posted 2005-01-06 10:26 PM


Ice cream is full of lard??!!!
I'm never eating it again !!

Nightshade
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27 posted 2005-01-06 10:28 PM


OH...hee hee.....just ignore my last post.
Duh.

skyshine
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28 posted 2005-01-06 10:40 PM


Why haven't they invented canned bananas yet?

~sky

Have a Holly Jolly Christmas! Jesus is the reason for the season!!

skyshine
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29 posted 2005-01-06 10:46 PM


Oh....and why do customers ask, "Do you work here?" when I'm walking around the store in my regulation shirt???

Have a Holly Jolly Christmas! Jesus is the reason for the season!!

Christopher
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30 posted 2005-01-06 11:21 PM


I don't think they're marginal, Ali... toilet humor (heh-heh), but not marginal.

So - ladies, what you're saying is that we (the men) should have the presence of mind (something you rarely credit us with in the first place) to drop the seat in the middle of the night when done, yet you (the women) suggest this only so you don't have to drop it (once more, far from hardest from the energy expenditure point of view) prior to usage?

hmmm... do I hear the ever-feared thud-thud of UNFAIR EXPECTATIONS bouncing off the darkened bathroom walls???  

SEA
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31 posted 2005-01-07 12:16 PM


rofl...no Kissy Face...I don't care if he leaves it up...I actually learned to check to make sure it was down BEFORE I sat down.
ice
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32 posted 2005-01-07 05:12 AM


I have a suggestion , on the subject of comodal seat preparation...
Perhaps the ladies should leave the seat up after usage, and gentlemen leave it down?

Wouldn't that be a fair compromise?

___________ice/ford
   ><>

scorpio
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33 posted 2005-01-07 08:53 AM


Now that's a perfect solution Ford!!  

believe in what your heart feels...

Not A Poet
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34 posted 2005-01-07 10:10 AM


No, I think we should continue to do it the same way we have since Mr. Crapper invented the darn thing. I'll leave it up and she can leave it down.

There are more important things to argue about, like where did SHE leave MY tv remote

Sunshine
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35 posted 2005-01-07 10:14 AM


Pete, that remote have your name on it?  


Nightshade
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36 posted 2005-01-07 10:36 AM


Which brings up another question ...
Why do men (possibly some women do this too)insist on flipping throught the channels at the speed of sound until your eyes are crossed? Then they turn to you and announce..."There's nothing on tonight."

Which makes me even more steamed because what he should have said, "There isn't anything on tonight." Phew!!

SEA
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37 posted 2005-01-07 10:57 AM


for my husband, he flips through the dish guide....I am trying to see what is on...and he goes at light speed, then puts it on the outdoor channel and says there is nothing else on...
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38 posted 2005-01-07 11:02 AM


LADIES WE ARE THINKING OF YOU BY LEAVING THE SEAT UP THAT AWAY US SLOBS DONT HIT IT BY MASTAKE. NOW AS FOR CHANNEL SURFING WE ONLY FLIP OVER ONE CHANNEL REAL FAST AND THAT WOULD BE THE LIFETIME CHANNEL.
Mistletoe Angel
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39 posted 2005-01-07 02:08 PM


The Barenaked Ladies asked this before and I'll ask it again.

"Why do they have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon?"

Guess it doesn't matter. I've been a vegetarian for over a year now!



Sincerely,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

Christopher
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40 posted 2005-01-07 03:31 PM


Ahh, the remote...

we got Tivo about 5 months ago and life will never be the same again!

prior to T-evil (as my SO designates it) i rarely watched television. but with the ability to browse through the Dish guide (yes, she complains it's at "light speed" heh) and flag all my favorite and, truthfully, not-so-favorite-but-still-possibly-interesting shows for recording, be it 4 in the morning or while i'm at work... well, sometimes i think i spend more time browsing through the options than i do actually watching the shows...

Christopher
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41 posted 2005-01-07 03:32 PM


oh and they do have pre-wrapped bacon... though be careful what kind you buy - some of it's rather nasty...

[This message has been edited by Christopher (01-07-2005 04:19 PM).]

Enchantress
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42 posted 2005-01-07 04:10 PM


Just what is pre-wrapped bacon?
We up here in the cold country maybe call it something else?

Christopher
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43 posted 2005-01-07 04:17 PM


Bacon that has already been cured and cooked and awaits only a gentle touch of warmth from mankind's most excellent (at least from a guy's point of view) invention - the microwave!
Enchantress
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44 posted 2005-01-07 05:08 PM


Oooh, yes...I know what you mean now.
Thanks Christopher.

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45 posted 2005-01-07 06:51 PM


I have two quesitons!

1. If ATM stands for Automatic Teller Machine, why do we call it an ATM machine?

2. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

lol...i'd like to see you answer these!

Alicat
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46 posted 2005-01-07 07:02 PM


The same reason there's SSN numbers and PIN numbers *cackle*.


Nightshade
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47 posted 2005-01-07 07:09 PM


  
SEA
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48 posted 2005-01-07 08:41 PM


good questions Alli and Alicat...you both made me giggle
Not A Poet
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49 posted 2005-01-07 08:44 PM


Speaking of ATM machines Why do those at the drive-through windows always have braille on the buttons?

*Alli4000*
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50 posted 2005-01-07 08:54 PM


Wow...I actually found an answer to that.  Sure, it takes the fun out of it, but still ...
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_010.html

Nightshade
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51 posted 2005-01-07 11:15 PM


After sheep have been out in the rain, and then the sun drys them .... does their wool shrink?
Enchantress
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52 posted 2005-01-07 11:37 PM


Yup..just like a wool dress when you're thrown into a swimming pool.

Do they smell like wet dogs?

Nightshade
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53 posted 2005-01-08 08:58 AM


...and that was the first time I had ever worn that dress!! I should have sued !! Also....my dress did not smell like a wet dog!
    Hmmm...I wonder if sheep tend to itch alot due to their wool coats?

scorpio
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54 posted 2005-01-08 09:35 AM


Sheep rinse in Woolite.

believe in what your heart feels...

Nightshade
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55 posted 2005-01-08 10:14 AM




Nightshade
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56 posted 2005-01-08 03:55 PM


Why is it that I always seem to get the grocery cart with the wheels that either stick and/or go sideways?
scorpio
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57 posted 2005-01-08 11:59 PM


I have a solution for you Chris.  WD 40.  Take a small spray can with you when you shop.  

believe in what your heart feels...

Nightshade
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58 posted 2005-01-09 10:10 AM


Gee scorpio...that's an awesome idea!
Purse sized WD40 sprays !! Now, as long as I didn't get it mixed up with my purse sized perfume...I would be all set.

Sunshine
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59 posted 2005-01-09 10:11 AM


...or mix it up with your Mace...
Christopher
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60 posted 2005-01-09 03:48 PM


...or breath freshener...
Nightshade
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61 posted 2005-01-09 03:53 PM


..or hair spray..
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