I read this question soon after you posted, and I wanted to take my time to think.
(that does help)
I hope you managed to study a bit (and I have faith you did well, because, well, I have faith.)
And no, I don't think you're a negative person. I think you are an honest human being, and I appreciate that alot.
We all have voices in our heads, and sometimes those voices can say the most awful things, and yep, sometimes they are wickedly funny, too.
(I'm recalling something I wrote once about having murdered and maliciously tortured several people in one day, and those were just the people I loved. er, in my MIND, of course)
I have a regretful temper, a sharp tongue, and to top it all off, I had worried that I had completely "burnt out" the "edit" function in my brain. I'm finding that is not actually the case tho--it's more like a muscle that needs toning.
You might wonder, if I value honesty (as I do) why would I worry about the edit function in anyone's brain?
It's just one of the niceties in life I guess. Sorta like when I go to a gynecologist, if the doc doesn't bother to keep those instruments under a warming light, then a future lack of empathy would not come as a surprise.
I also gave a lot of thought to regret. Things I Said vs. Things I Didn't.
It surprised me that it was a toss-up.
But after much thought, and too many words already, I guess I feel that there are gradations to the sin:
The desire to do harm (if not to each other than our selves) is a constant.
The variable is our mood, our well-being, the intensity of the particular affront, combined with a determination to do better today than yesterday.
It's up to us to balance the scales.
(I been studying algebra-- --and I got something entirely unexpected from that too.)
"People seem not to see that their opinion of others is also a confession of their character."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life, and love and observations?
It's all done with mirrors.