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Passions in Poetry

Minimum manners and runaway children!! ARGGHHH!!!

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Temptress
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-15-99
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Mobile, AL


0 posted 07-27-2004 09:19 PM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

explanation......

okay..I work in a restuarant (sometimes as a hostess and sometimes as a server).  When I host, we have pagers resembling large plastic coasters to pass out to guests while we have a wait going on during busy times.  

RANT!
Is everyone on the Rude Campaign? First of all, parents actually let their children come up to the hostess stand and play with these things. Unfortunately (due to a stupidity in management) they are stacked low enough where children can reach them.  The first time they ever broken was because some kid knocked off the unit that works with the pagers to alert the guest when their table is ready.  

Lately it happens A LOT! The children come up and play with EVERYTHING. It is annoying and very disruptive when I'm trying to give guests efficient service. How can I pay attention to them when I'm watching their children because they won't?  I actually had to gently take one out of a child's hand the other day, and very sweetly (although probably noticeably through my teeth...I hope not)"Sweetie, you can't play with those." When I turned my back, the little brat picked it up again. What did the parent do? They noticed, but they slapped the child's hand in such a way that the child almost dropped the thing. GEESH!!!!

I have NOTHING against children. I love children, but parents who let their children act like little monsters in a restaurant to the point that they let them play with the equipment that doesn't even belong to them...well that is just plain frustrating.  

Last year, some child pulled the fire alarm that is also in reach on the wall beside the hostess stand.  Can you believe that the Dad of the little boy didn't even apologize in any way at all? Who knows...maybe he was too embarrassed to say anything.  

One other thing, is that my parents always taught me not to interrupt adults while they were talking. Now I really don't believe this with a strictness, but I do believe there are SOME times when adults are talking that children should not interrupt. (or when anyone else is talking to anyone else) for instance?....when I am taking the name of a guest or talking to another guest in any situation and a child comes up beside me (barely an inch even) and starts asking me something....sometimes over and over again..things like "can I have a balloon?" or "Can I have another crayon, coloring book, etc..." GEESHH!!!!!

Hmmm..
Guests letting their children run around in the restuarant (way away from their own table) without their shoes on, guests letting their children run around in high traffic areas (in hallways where servers are carrying heavy trays or in the lobby area where other guests and hostesses are trying to walk around)

Yes, we are a family establishment, but those words do not give any family the right to act like a nuisance and disruptive in such a way that prevents us from doing our job or prevents other guests from enjoying their experience without tripping over a rip roaring kid who needs badly to be disciplined.

I don't know if any of this makes any sense. I think my job is getting to me, but I swear it hasn't been this bad in a while. Besides the issue about letting children run wild, adults are RUDE too. I SWEAR MORE THAN NORMAL!

Scenario:
Jenn: Hi, how are you all today? (said with a smile and an attempt to look directly at their face)

Guest: (with face looking over my shoulder and either slightly dismissive look or grumpy look) Two for Non.  a booth...

Jenn: Sure, right this way please. (still attempting a smile here, but I am sure the hurt or annoyed look shows in my eyes so I try to cover it with a bigger smile since I'm not good at hiding my eyes)

Guest: (walking to the table with me...sees someone they know about halfway to the table I'm taking them to....stops...talks...talks...talks...)

Jenn: (I look toward the door and there is a serious line of people who are going to be just as rude and are impatient to be seated)

SOOOO...what have I resorted to doing? When they stop halfway like that, I do give them a chance, but if they stand around chatting like I have nothing better to do, I walk by myself to the table where they are supposed to go, place the menus on the table and go on seating the rest of the people whose lunch time these chit chatters have just jeopardized.  Is that rude? I also repeat myself when they don't respond to my asking how they are doing, but I do it with a smile. After they tell me how many, I very calmly (with a quaking temper inside) pick up their menus, smile again, look at them in the eyes, cock my head (and I notice this because I have caught myself and hoped I don't look like a smart ass) and ask them if they're having a good day. A few people have caught on to this, and some lady the other day was overjoyed because I was overjoyed that she responded to me warmly when I asked her how she was...Geesh..she even asked ME how I was too! and I thanked her for being so nice because she was one of the extreme FEW that day who was actually nice enough to respond with more than a demand in response to my friendliness.  

okay..I think the rant is over...I think the heat over here is frying people's brains this year, and I think there has been a serious decline in the effort to teach children manners. I have also almost fallen over children because they are running around the restaruant so much that it is impossible to know when one of them is a few inches behind me (having just ran up behind me from somewhere else).  

sooo...PLEASE don't think I'm an old grumpy child hater. I'm not. I have a LOT of neices and a nephew...and I love children...even WANT one now, but I pray I'll have the good sense to teach it a thing a two about how to treat property that isn't theres and other human beings.  


All of my impurities are right here on my sleeve. This is Me"---Faith Hill

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 11-18-2002
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the ass-end of space


1 posted 07-27-2004 09:50 PM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

I lasted exactly 3 months in retail, what section did i work in? Toys. I feels your pain.
SEA
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with you


2 posted 07-27-2004 10:12 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Laughing....goodness no not at you...with you. I understand EXACTLY what you are saying. I was a waitress for a while. But more than that? I have 3 kids. I don't allow my kids to misbehave even for a second like that, anywhere. Unless of course that behavior is expected at that particular establishment. Even then, they better be cool. I absolutely hate going to a restaurant when it's a night out for just me and Jon, and other people's kids are running crazy and the parents don't give a crap. It ruins my time. We don't get to go out that often, so it really pisses me off. The parents I think are afraid to disipline their kids infront of other people. I have learned over time to speak really really quietly to my kids with a smile on my face, not going over barely a whisper, so they really have to strain to hear me, and I let them know that they are in trouble and I will deal with them later. You should see the look on their faces! Works every time.

I don't know why some people don't teach their children better manners...it is horribly fustrating for me too. The best part about teaching my kids those things...when they are around other kids who have no manners, they notice and say something to me about it. That is pretty cool. My kids do pretty darn good, for the most part.

And from having been there...I am usually the one to ask first, how the waitress or salesperson is doing, or to wish them to have a good day.
hope it gets better for you!
Temptress
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Mobile, AL


3 posted 07-27-2004 10:27 PM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

Aenimal

TOY SECTION? You HAVE to be kidding me. I don't think I could handle it.

Sea

Thanks for teaching your children well. LOL! Could you come and give pointers where I work? Just sort of a children manners cop?

All of my impurities are right here on my sleeve. This is Me"---Faith Hill

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 11-18-2002
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the ass-end of space


4 posted 07-28-2004 01:31 AM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

Ever see the dancing/singing Elmo dolls, picture about ten rows of them being set off at once and then multiply that by a hundred because thats how many times a day some little #&@# or their parents set them off.
Midnitesun
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Gaia


5 posted 07-28-2004 10:10 AM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

Now you've hit upon one of my own pet peeves. And this rudeness, yes it is just that, continues in the classroom and most definitely on the school bus.
It is sad that many parents can't tell the difference between basic good manners and a child's need-to-express/interact with their surroundings, and outright rude behavior.
And here I am, considering whether or not to go back into the classroom this fall. Hmmm.
Is it any wonder that many foreigners think Americans in general are totally vulgar and rude?
gemjop
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since 11-18-2002
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Pencilveinia, USA


6 posted 07-28-2004 08:41 PM       View Profile for gemjop   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for gemjop

Oh, I'm with you here. I worked in a 'family friendly' pub, with a play area outside, sweet (candy) dispenser thingys, plastic rubbish toy dispensers = hell. I spent more time keeping an eye on boisterous kids, whilst their parents got drunk, smoked or just generally didn't care about the antics of their children than I did behind the bar or waitressing.

I've tended to bawling-their-eyes-out-toddlers ( who, yes, can't FIND their parents!), escorted children to the toilet, helped them out of them when the door gets jammed and their blind with panic thinking they'll be stuck forever, fixed toys, retrieved balls from pub car parks, sat them down to eat, tied their shoelaces, stopped fights and stopped them blocking up the sinks in the toilets.

Where are their parents? Who knows.

Pubs/bars/restaurants arent for adults, they're for children to run riot in, to relax without the burden of their parentals telling them 'NO!'

Whoever thinks pubs are for adults of legal drinking age are fools.

Its that that got on my nerves most. Not the behaviour of the children, but how the ADULTS behaved.

I remember one day, when it was particularly hectic. The door into the kitchen from the restaurant area was one of those swing doors, that swung in any unpredictable way, at any unpredictable moment. There was a small glass window at the top, but it was quite old and messed up (despite how many times i scrubbed it.) So you could never even really see too well, when there was someone about to come through it, unless they were right up close e.g. at the last minute.

So when its busy, you're quite quick on your feet, especially whilst carrying hot plates that are burning through the waitressing cloths making you grimace whilst trying to maintain a happy smile. So those doors are a danger area, with one or two hot, tired and stressed out bar staff, who are doing the jobs of oh i don't know, 10 people all at once. Somebody would come bounding out, swinging the door open every two minutes, with considerable force.

Right. get the picture. haha, i'm so long winded.

So of course, whenever nearby families take root near to the door region, we made them aware, not to let their children play infront of it, or they would get hurt.

So on one awful summers day, a family came in and sat in the door area, I warned them, as I spotted a boy of around 4-5 with them.

When I told them, I basically got ignored, you know, the "what do you know? you're a blonde bar-maid and obviously that equals no importance" kind of look.

Without fail, the kid started fiddling around near the door, whilst the family went on ignoring the existance of their child and anyone else around them. So I approached the child, who scowled at me, and ran off to its mother, probably to 'tell on me.' So I followed, reminding them again of the possible danger, even resorting to humour. I told them about a time when a work mate of mine had been bending down on one side of the door, attemting to change the bin liner of a nearby waste paper bin, when i had come charging out the kitchen, almost knocking her out.

Of course, it was lost on them. blank looks.

The child continued to play around the door area, with things he shouldn't even be touching, cutlery, bottles of ketchup, napkins. A few near fatal head colliding with plates full of hot food occured, until I'd had enough.

If this child were to get hurt, i knew I'd get the blame.

I asked the manager to approach them, as they werent listening to me. So they did, and got no better response.

Eventually, the inevitable happened, and the young idiotic child collided with myself and the door. Not anything major, but enough to send the child to the floor a few feet away.

At that point, I felt a weird mixture of Guilt, anger, embarrassment, but mostly , the need to laugh. Of course I couldn't, and felt bad regardless. I couldn't believe at that point, that it had actually happened, and wanted to stay in the kitchen and scream at the incapability of a large group of people to control one child.

But, all of a sudden, these people came to life, and descended upon me, like i was some kind of monster. I, despite being quite a non confrontational person, who is more likely to cry when being shouted at, than shout back, gave as good as I got. I didn't shout, but stood my ground, feeling so angry at how unbelievably ignorant some people are.

They demanded to see the manager, who then, bless the lady, did the shouting for me! They still didn't get it into their heads that it wasn't my fault, that they'd been warned, countless times, and were asked to leave.

Truly though, what happens to people in restaurants? They become evil mutants who are baying for blood if they haven't got enough mayonnaise.

A friend of mine (work mate) once had a piece of battered fish thrown at her by a lady out of their 'fish and chips' because it was too hot? Thrown at her! she actually caught it, but still. mental?  

I could go on forever, but i wont. I think i already have.

Just know, I feel for you.

x
LoveBug
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7 posted 07-28-2004 10:51 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

My mother and I had a conversation about this a few days ago. My summer job has been at a fast food restraunt, and we talked about the people I've encountered there, as well as examples within our own family. My younger cousins, and basically all of the children I encounter in my restraunt, have been given absolutely NO dicipline. They do NOT know the meaning of the word NO, and they dont listen to anybody. Not that they know any better, their parents don't demand them to listen to them, so why should they listen to anyone else? My mother told me that I and my siblings never acted like that, and for the most part, the other children we played with didn't either. (It bears saying that I didn't even have what I consider to be a strict upbringing) She thinks that parents nowadays are being wayyyyy too lenient with their kids. They think that everyone should cater to their children because they do, but I don't think that's right. If they are like this as children, how do you think they will act when confronted with instructions from a police officer, teacher, or boss? These parents are only hurting their children in the long run, I believe.

I know I"m just 19, a kid myself, but I would never let my kids run WILD like these kids do now.

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

PhaerieChild
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since 08-30-99
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Aloha, Oregon


8 posted 07-29-2004 05:53 AM       View Profile for PhaerieChild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PhaerieChild

THIS is the reason I posted a sign in my restaurant that says: Unruly children will be broiled and/or barbecued at no extra charge. (They don't know how seriously I would love to do just that.)
Most of time the parents will control their kids after the first time of telling them that their kids (hence, themselves) will be asked to leave if the little monsters can't/won't behave themselves. I have managed to piss off a few parents, but it was definitely worth the peace and quiet afterwards and when those parents return (as they inevitably do) they know to keep their kids in line for the most part.
Christopher
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Purgatorial Incarceration


9 posted 07-29-2004 12:38 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

what are "kids".

are those the little people you should be keeping in the closet until they're 20?
LoveBug
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10 posted 07-29-2004 07:08 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

PC, I wish every public place in existance had your policy!

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

Mysteria
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11 posted 07-30-2004 12:04 AM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Rules are sure different up here in Canada.  First off unless you are 21 you simply are not allowed entrance into pubs, slot machine Casino outlets, or anywhere beer or hard liquor is served.  The only place children are allowed where liquor is served is a formal diningroom where it is posted on the menu they can be included.  

Jen, we have those pucks too to hold onto when you are waiting for seating at the Keg, but they are locked below the hostess station, and we get charged if they are lost or damaged.  Maybe a sign to tell the holder they are responsible for them might help?

Now as to unruly kids this is how it is here anyway.  As a paying customer I can complain if someone's children are acting up and annoying me, and the family gets warned they are disturbing other patrons.  Rule is if you are told again, out you go with the little darlings. Oh, this also applies to unruly adults too. Fast food places don't have the same rules as a more formal type restaurant so if some kid is really a pain, I simply speak to the parent myself.  With our two girls we do NOT give them chocolate of any kind when we are out, or any sugar for that matter, and if they do act up - outside they go, to stand in the closest corner.

What I don't understand?  Why can't the servers or hostess warn the parents, and if they don't comply, why are they not asked to leave?  Why the heck should you all be babysitting their children is beyond me.

I feel for you I sure do and for what it's worth I have said this a million times, I could never do your job well, absolutely never, and so therefore I sure tip for good service.
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
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the ass-end of space


12 posted 07-30-2004 12:58 AM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

Mysteria there must be different provincial rules then? I know that here in Ontario the age is not 21 but 19 and that children can enter pubs with their parents. Which can really be a hassle when you're blitzed and trying to tell a funny/dirty story to your friends.

As for the "What I don't understand?  Why can't the servers or hostess warn the parents, and if they don't comply, why are they not asked to leave?  Why the heck should you all be babysitting their children is beyond me." we're taught from day one, the customer is always right. but this depends on your manager of course.
LoveBug
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13 posted 07-31-2004 03:20 AM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

You're right... you don't contradict the customer, ever! No matter what! It's certainly sucks. :P

I'm glad my last day is coming! OH it can't come soon enough!

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

Copperbell
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since 11-08-2003
Posts 952


14 posted 08-02-2004 11:57 AM       View Profile for Copperbell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Copperbell

frustrating...what kind of adult will a child be if they're not taught respect in the little situations
Temptress
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Mobile, AL


15 posted 08-12-2004 01:09 AM       View Profile for Temptress   Email Temptress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Temptress

I have been at this restaurant since it first opened.  We were told during all the orientation and such by our General Manager that the customers were NOT always right, but you never tell the customer that. LOL!

There are ways around it, and I believe if the customer is interrupting the experience of others in a negative way or abusing their privilege of being catered to that the manager should tell them so.  I would and have put a lot of people in their place as a manager in the past, and a lot of them even came back.  

Now for me with the children playing with the pagers. I think I'm getting worse. I have taken to doing this...

Jenn: Hello, how are you today?

Customer: ignores me

Jenn: How many in your party?

Child or children: Starts playing with the pagers (sometime grabbing five of them at once and sitting the dangerously on the edge of the whole stack)

Jenn: While customer is telling me how many, etc..I just stop writing completely (without any dramatic gesture), look over at the child (sometimes in mock alarm...sometimes in annoyance...and when the child is looking...sometimes with a stern look)

Customer: (They are starting to get a little better.) One woman actually told her children to go sit down, and they actually did what she said.

People KNOW that they really should behave and make their children behave when they are out in public, but I believe they usually test to see how much we're going to put up.

Just pray I hang in there! LOL! Maybe people's brains will stop frying when summer is over.

All of my impurities are right here on my sleeve. This is Me"---Faith Hill

 
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