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serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2004-07-02 08:34 PM


If I may, I'd like to dedicate this one to all of you, all the members of the Tiarra Club, and just anyone who cared enough to give us a read. And to all of you who laughed and cried and shared with us, I'd like to dedicate this first post to "my flowers" by reposting a poem I wrote soon after joining Pip, which was about my garden.


"a certain perfect disarray"


Apple-mint sprigs, tiny leaves
unfold to sun in ancient prayer--
supplication
Ever strives to meet perfection
(daily dedication)
Lemon tree in bloom this year.
How perfectly ironic.
Blossoms fall--lemon drops--
Heady scent--seductive tonic--
a certain perfect disarray...
think i'll let it stay that way...
(Some things should be
just what they are.)
Broad-leaf fern, pine-apple sage,
rose-in-bud, "Society's Page,"
(she used to be all the rage.)
spears of iris by the pond
and just the slightest curve of palm
behind the waterfall--
White ginger standing tall...
and pots of basil
hunger for planting
bringing out an ache in me--
ever wistful--ever wanting--
a shovel full of upturned earth
droplets of rain, quenching thirst.
"Gentle hands are needed here,"
said the breeze into my ear.
"Ssshh..." It whispered me aware.



* * *


Enter and bloom



© Copyright 2004 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Kielo
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since 2002-02-11
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1 posted 2004-07-02 08:36 PM


*bounce* This is so exciting!
serenity blaze
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2 posted 2004-07-02 08:41 PM


You "goof"!


(hugging "Ki")

now.

Tell us a story...


Kielo
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since 2002-02-11
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3 posted 2004-07-02 08:54 PM


A story? I'm not actually really sure that I have a lot of stories that I can share here... Most of my stories involve lots of pain, which I don't always deal with in the most, well, appropriate ways... but I do what I can.

Well, give me a while. I'll try and come up with something.

Ki

Kielo
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since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

4 posted 2004-07-02 09:36 PM


There you go... A story lovingly written for Aunty Karen and Danie.

~~~

I have this tendency to remember the people who have loved me. It's a habit that I suppose is partly caused simply by my "good memory", but a large part of the reason I remember is that these people stick out, because of a belief I picked up as a child. This belief has basically dominated my view of the world ever since.


I have very vague recollections of Mrs. Hill. She was my music teacher during parts of elementary school. I always loved her. She liked me too. My first impulse is to say that she just liked me because I enjoyed music, and I was good at it... but I suppose there had to have been more to it than that. That I can even acknowledge such a possibility is such a huge progression for me... it feels wrong, almost dirty...


Elementary school was not a happy time in my life. I was the youngest in my grade. I was in the same class every year, because I was in the French Immersion program, which was not very big. I was fairly socially isolated before school. None of this played in my favour when I finally arrived in school.

Apparently I hated kindergarten, at first. I ran away once. My mother promptly betrayed me and brought me right back to school. I adjusted, and all was well, until about grade 2. I remember being fairly isolated in kindergarten and grade 1. I didn't talk to anyone unless they spoke to me first. I got to grade 2 with no allies.

I don't know what it was about grade 2, but that was the beginning of the end for me. It started subtly – just little things like coming back to my desk to find that someone had left their garbage on it. I never said a word – just cleaned up the mess. People started to take advantage of me. I didn't say a word. That progressed to outright insults. I still held my tongue. I was ignored, reviled, mocked, and insulted. They talked behind my back, and they talked about me right in front of me. I never said anything to anyone. By the time grade 4 had rolled around, I extremely ashamed of who I was. I knew I deserved everything I went through. To this day, even thinking about elementary school makes me ashamed. I don't like to talk about it, because I (I really want to say know... but I don't think that will go over well) believe that it was my fault, and that there was something wrong with me.

I'm not saying all this for sympathy, or because I have to get it off my chest (believe me, I like it better not thinking about it). I'm just trying to make it abundantly clear just how precious Mrs. Hill was to me.

I used to talk to her outside of class. I don't know if it was during lunch, or if I just stayed after class. Somehow I doubt it, but I don't know.

I vaguely recall hearing her stick up for me once. I can't even begin to explain how that felt for me. Imagine being very, very cold, then having warmth just bubble out of you somewhere deep, deep inside. Sort of like that.

My most vivid memory of her is more personal. I remember exactly where we were standing. We were both in the hallway. There may have been one other person standing there. I have no idea what any of us were doing in the hall, but I was just standing there. I was probably just enjoying being near her. She kissed me on the forehead. I was stunned, at the time, and just stood there and blinked. Looking back, though, I'm so grateful for that moment. Thinking about that moment is the closest I will ever come to understanding that I was not entirely unlovable in elementary school.

Mrs. Hill was my saviour. I would have survived elementary school without her. I probably wouldn't have been any worse off, in the end. What counts, though, is that I will remember those brief moments of respite forever.

Kielo
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since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

5 posted 2004-07-02 09:37 PM


That may have been a lot more personal than I intended. *sigh* I'm really bad at stories.

*shrug* So there you are. A story from Kielo. Enjoy?

Ki

Wisdom outweighs any wealth

Sophocles

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2004-07-02 10:06 PM


Hey you...



it's not too personal.

I was queen of the "cooties" club in grade school.

We had a young enthusiastic substitute teacher once, and I remember a day at recess when the other kids invited me to come play "pop the whip" because "Miss Whatzername" said they should play with everybody.

and yanno? They put me at the end of the whip and knocked me around pretty good too.

Gee, kids, thanks for the thought.



I survived, tho.

Thank you for the story, m'friend.

Yer a sweetie.

Kielo
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since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

7 posted 2004-07-02 10:11 PM


*sigh* It was too personal. I bounced and lip-chewed and got hot and cold until I knew it was okay, which was a few seconds ago when I saw your reply. It might take a while for you to convince me to do that again.

No, I'm okay. I just worry a lot.

Okay, your turn to tell a story now. Can we pretend I'm not here?

Sunshine
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8 posted 2004-07-02 10:13 PM


Ki, you can sit in the corner while I share a teacher story/poem as well...

and seren?  How pleased I am...with the titlebar... ...

~*~

Here's to You, Sir……

For no reason
a fifth grade memory
visited me today                 (saw a pair of blue eyes)
now bear in mind
I was a late bloomer
always younger
than the kids in my class
always the youngest
the latest to bloom
not much room
for self-esteem

but fifth grade still
has a touch of magic           (saw a fleck of gold hair)
when you're a dreamer
and I was a dreamer
who wanted to do

can a doer be a dreamer?
                                            (when someone believes)
sometimes….

HE was very special
and had a grand name         (Jim to some, James to others)
and in this time of
today when there are
really no heroes…
like there were heroes
back then                            (where have all the heroes gone?)
HE was a hero to me
he wasn't a James Dean
nor a Rex Harrison,
hardly a Sean, and in no way
a Wayne
but he was a hero,
all the same

they say your fifth grade teacher
can turn your life around
lift up from down              (raising hands to volunteer)
plant an invisible crown
with slight smiles
or soft sounds
                                          (wiping chalkboards, clapping erasers)
one did their homework
to honor him
stood a little straighter
just to please him!            (he had that "smile")
boys liked him
girls…had crushes….
and in morning rushes
he stood tall, and calm
and with a hand raised
in quiet wave
he waved us all … on …
                                         (and on and on and on)
he had that "teacher chemistry"
not like a dad, or much loved mom
but you wanted a moment
to reflect upon…
this "magic" of his key….

no way that a few words,
or in a moment, impart
how this teacher
touched all of our hearts…
though later that summer
during break
how all of us joined
in swift wrench of heartache
to hear of his passing
during summer vacation
a year before
the hurt of a nation…

today I had a memory
and it won't leave
a special one said
"…in you I believe…"
and it called me
back to a long past view
when he said
those words, too…
I've done my best
with my time on earth
to say to others
~ I believe in you… ~

Mr. VanNorman…
~ I'll always remember you ~
your lessons of yesterday
still ring true…

~*~

Ki, I'm glad you're here.  Sometimes we have to leave stories, to "prime" aunt serenity... ...then she tells the most WONDERFUL stories...

you've SEEN her garden, right???

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2004-07-02 10:14 PM


soon enough, soon enough...

I'm just happy you finally joined us, Ki.

(been watchin' you lurk, yanno)


serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2004-07-02 10:15 PM


and whoooooooooooos...see what I mean?

and yep, Sunshine knows me well.



I have to break for awhile (I'm supposed to be on couch patrol)

ssssssshhhhhhhhh...don't tell the warden.


Kielo
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since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

11 posted 2004-07-02 10:24 PM


It's hard to sit in a corner and hide when I want to tell you both how wonderful you are.

I had a teacher like that. She retired, but I'll never forget her, either.

and... well... thank you... for just letting me be. Not like alone... but... just existing.

I'll never forget you.

Sunshine
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12 posted 2004-07-02 10:31 PM


Now, I wonder what would happen if Ki, Kar and Kari all teamed up...I wonder what would happen if we tri-leveled a duet...what would we call that, anyway?  A triet?

The Three K's....



something must be in the wind...

Kielo
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since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

13 posted 2004-07-02 10:38 PM


Triet?

You know the first thing that made me think of was that it sounded like a combination of tourniquet and triage. Don't ask why; I don't know. I just do as I'm told.

haha, that's a good one. lol

(That just means I'm too afraid to respond directly to the idea. Don't mind me.)

Ki

Sunshine
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14 posted 2004-07-02 10:45 PM


Well, we'll let you think on it...

it could be a good thing.  

Kielo
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since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

15 posted 2004-07-02 10:46 PM


If you felt like putting up with my nerves and my writing the whole time, it might go alright.


Nightshade
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just out of reach
16 posted 2004-07-02 10:59 PM


Hey who moved the sign to the garden's path?!!! Scared the you-know-what out of me!
Ooh, but I do like these new digs. Speaking of new digs....pics please Karen. Or are you still grouting? Is that how that gunky stuff is spelled? I am all hepped up tonite as we are having our garage sale tomorrow morning and I am excited to make tres' moola. Momma needs new shoes!!! Plus I have been eating jellybeans (especially the red and black ones) and I am on a sugar high.
  I just wanted to pop in and say welcome Kielo. You brought back many school days memories. Just off the top of my head I remember my grade 3 teacher - Miss. Webber I believe was her name. I thought she was soooo beautiful. But, then her makeup started to become very thick and her blonde hair...was showing it's black roots. Then, Mondays began to seem extremely difficult for her. She often fell asleep at her desk in the mornings. Miss. Webber wasn't at our school the following year. She did dress really neat though and high heels to die for. Anyway that's just one quick memory. I am quite sure there are more. Good night ladies and gents. Hugs all round! Chrislane

Kielo
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since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

17 posted 2004-07-02 11:23 PM


Thank you.

Oh, and I'm leaving tomorrow morning. I forgot again. *sigh* I don't want to go...

Mostly because it means I have to spend more time away from my girl... but there are other reasons too.

Anyway, keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I don't do well when I'm alone, and it looks like I'm going to be for 8 whole days.

Joy.

the_loner_23
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since 2002-06-08
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Jacksonville, Florida, USA
18 posted 2004-07-03 12:03 PM


This seems like a cool journal. Does like everybody add or just 1 person? Because I started my own journal but if just anybody can add to this one that would be cool. LOL

Cold hands means a warm heart

Mysteria
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19 posted 2004-07-03 12:58 PM


I am sitting here smiling from ear to ear remembering "Mr. Webb," or Ted as I knew him.  He was the senior PhysEd teacher (is that what you call exercise, and sports in the states?)  Anyway, he appeared the first day of school in my senior year, and every girl in school thought he  was a greek god.  I fell instantly in love with his laugh, smile, and ummm, his fantastic gluteus mximus actually. He also taught Drama, so I ran to enroll. I became teacher's pet and then some. There is no polite way to put this, I hit on that poor man until he gave in, and he did.  I went out with him secretly until graduation, and we would sneak to see each other at basketball tournaments when out of town. (He coached the team and I was a cheerleader.)  One such exchange tournament with Luther College, almost got us caught, when I couldn't get back into the dorm and had to talk my way out of severe detention for leaving after lockup.  When I started University I dated him for another half a year, until the next love of my life happened.  We stayed friends for many years until I moved out of province, and he actually ended up marrying a friend of mine, who also was my age (guess he likes them younger.)  Funny how life changes, back then I dated only men older than me, now it is the other way around, that is when I date at all  
iliana
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20 posted 2004-07-03 01:18 AM


"Gentle hands are needed here,"
said the breeze into my ear.
"Ssshh..."  It whispered me aware.

This is a wonderful place, this serene garden, and all the different paths to travel.  Karen, I'm glad the thread continues.  

I am enjoying everyone's stories about teachers and their memories, most of which are so provocative of my own.  

I liked to see that triet folks -- that would be interesting!  

Sharon, I still occasionally dream of Don Workman, our band director.  My sister was the one who was closer to his age (six years older) and I think he had it pretty bad for her at one time but they never dated.  What a cutie .... those southsea eyes you could drown in ... and, PS, he had the cutest little brother who was my age!  Nooooo problem going to 4-H bank rehersals in the summer when his little brother showed up!

Sunshine, as you could tell from the two poems I wrote after you posted your photos, they touched me (not to mention your inspired words).  

HAPPY FOURTH, YA'ALL!

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

21 posted 2004-07-03 01:42 AM


I want to welcome loner to the garden.

And yes, everybody's welcome m'friend.

and soon, I'll have to confess that I have been "fired" from house renovations.

It seems that there are rules to lifting things, and I broke them.

sigh.

I tore something methinks. So "control freak" serenity had to let go of control of her counter and trust.

grumble.

But I'll prolly be here more often.



For awhile anyway.


iliana
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22 posted 2004-07-03 01:49 AM


ouchers -- that can't feel good.  I won't asks what you torn (just guessing it's your back) -- and just in time for the 4th -- empathy here.  .....waiting for more stories..... now that you have the time....
serenity blaze
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23 posted 2004-07-03 01:51 AM


smile.

It's nothing to win me the medal of honor, jo.

Let's just say it's a pain in the ass.



(sometimes I just crack myself up)


iliana
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24 posted 2004-07-03 02:03 AM


Sometimes, you just crack me up, too....well, more than sometimes.  Ever think about Stand Up?  
serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

25 posted 2004-07-03 02:43 AM


Every time I sit down.

wakawakawaka


serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
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26 posted 2004-07-03 02:51 AM


I'd better stop this before I have myself in stitches.



(somebody stop me...)

serenity blaze
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27 posted 2004-07-03 02:52 AM


"Say 'goodnight', Gracie."
iliana
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28 posted 2004-07-03 03:24 AM


wakawakawaka ..... now you've got me going!  Goodnight, Gracie!
muted
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29 posted 2004-07-03 05:11 AM


oh yes, very nice place ya have here  

i'll just settle in and see if the daisies grow  

you girls need some seditives LOL

Sunshine
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30 posted 2004-07-03 06:48 AM


Julie, welcome!

Siddown already, serenity....

Jo?  Mission accomplished...so, I'm eager to meet the new one....

ah, teachers.

My junior year chemistry teacher, Mr. Ballou, was exceptional, as well.  On the scale of mankind to mountains, he was a Rocky Mountain high – such a tall, dark haired man.  Huge hands!  But so very gentle in demeanor, and he always bent at the podium as he spoke, “coming down to earth”, in a manner of speaking.

You see, I wanted desperately to be a veterinarian, and the previous summer I took a smash hard six week biology course [you could stay on track more in biology during the summer…and the ratio was hilarious – one boy for every four girls….] and did fairly well, learning to bisect and dissect “things” [someone is probably eating breakfast, so I won’t say what], and I walked away with a fairly decent B+.  But my algebra and geometry classes were what were giving me fits, and I had to improve there, before taking chemistry, so Mr. Ballou, who taught both the maths and chemistry…was exceptionally generous with his time in trying to help the young lady that would…

Ever wish you could give someone back his life?

That poor man would stay after school, going over and over the equations and tables and charts and problems, until he would fairly sing, “By George, I think she’s got it!”

Only, I would seem to have lost it by the very next morning’s test.

I needed to wear Velcro, to have the formulas stick to me.

And I don’t recall it being invented back then.

That poor man gave me several afternoons of his life, trying to make sure I could reach my dream.

I’m still unredeemable in higher math – regular figures, no problem.  And I’ve an eye for shooting pool, so geometry did leave a little behind…LOL…

But Mr. Ballou was a gentle person, and an example of those teachers who go out of their way for a child’s dream.

garysgirl
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31 posted 2004-07-03 07:18 AM


Take care everyone. I'll see you all later.
Heart Hugs to you all
Ethel

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Canada eh.
32 posted 2004-07-03 09:32 AM


Morning everyone!
Izzat coffee I smell?
Love the new place Karen!!
Room for so many flowers to blossom.
I'll be back...
just taking a look around and pulling up my favourite chair.

Sunshine
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33 posted 2004-07-03 09:52 AM


Since this is serenity's garden
and serenity is floral keen
I thought I'd throw in
a little garden scene...


nakdthoughts
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Between the Lines
34 posted 2004-07-03 11:02 AM


Day 4...

Distressing to see
how the body changes so drastically
and the mind trying to keep up with it.

Bruised in heart, mine
hers in body, as feet no longer can
attempt the walk of nature's call
and the arms reach out in aide
but cannot detect
the touch of care.


Day 5...

Everyone crowds the inner thoughts...
nurses, aides, family.
Each knowing their need
as the shushing of words spreads the
inevitable, like a silent wail.

Eyes holding back the intensity of tears
trying to stay composed.

Each message sent to the brain
brings an inner gasp...
not enough air
to cleanse the meaning of.
Not enough time left
to trace a life's feeling
and spread their words
to cover her in a blanket of warmth,
trying to comfort
the ease from a body
fighting for want, in need.


Day 6...

awakens me,
through rays of sunshine,
hearing the sounds and slightest movement
of her life next to me...
manipulating the mind.

My hands fighting
to suppress the need
to make it all go away
instead straightening,
with words of encouragement,
the bedclothes.

Stroking the warmth of her forehead
and cold of her arms
keeping the feeling alive...

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

There were prayers coming from  these lips,
peace for her...yet not wanting it to be on this day
(that of my birth)

and still...became the night air,
and hissing sound of the purer
as I sat up in notice

almost three hours into the new day
she left behind     her pain~~


M


Enchantress
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Canada eh.
35 posted 2004-07-03 11:15 AM


Maureen..I am at a loss for words at the moment.

Come sit in the garden..where we don't have to talk..
just sit and remember the happier times with your sister.

We're all right here with you.

Sunshine
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36 posted 2004-07-03 11:59 AM




As the new day rises,
and the fog is left behind,
always remember, with my love,
you are ever on my mind...

slips the sun up softly
I'll feel the moss again,
always remember, with my love,
this heart is with you, then...

sigh my songs tomorrow,
for tomorrow will ever be
as times will shelter me always
and thus, my memories...

~*~

Maureen, you are in my thoughts, dear.



iliana
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USA
37 posted 2004-07-03 02:10 PM


And mine, too, Maureen.  
serenity blaze
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38 posted 2004-07-03 02:12 PM


"Distressing to see
how the body changes so drastically
and the mind trying to keep up with it."


Again, you have reminded me of my Dad. He could be unintentionally funny, especially when he was distressed.

The drugs they'd given him were finally starting to wear off, and as I'd related before, we'd been coaching him to answer the doctor's questions correctly so that he could come home.

The main question he had trouble with was a simple one--

"Where are you, Mr. Hood?"

He would always answer dutifully the name of some Naval hospital. (That wasn't the correct answer.)

But finally, one day we were confident, and he was sitting up, all bright-eyed, lucid, and massaged clean and shiny pink. The doctor came in, and we were all around him, proud and expectant that today he could pass "the test".

The doctor then threw us for "a loop".

Instead of immediately asking,

"Where are you Mr. Hood?"

he asked:

"How are you today, Mr. Hood?"

and my dad replied,

"Barnacles."

OH nooooooooooo....

My father reddened in distress.

"I don't think that's what he meant to say..." one of interjected on his behalf.

"It IS too what I meant to say!" My father interrupted us. "Those damn drugs ya'll gave me? They were like barnacles on the brain!"

Now.

He didn't say it, but I could hear it.

My father always said that when he was done with a subject, but he said it with a Texas accent--like "Na."

We breathed a sigh of relief.

The doctor then asked the usual routine questions, and my father had passed the test.

After the doc left, my dad was still annoyed with us.

"Don't ever tell anybody what I meant to say again." He was huffy.

"Yes, Dad." We smiled and gleefully packed his bags to go home.

*  *  *

That bought us about another month with my father, and allowed me the exchange of a priceless gift of memory with my Dad.

You see? The last thing my Dad ever said to me, was "I love you."

It was the last thing I said to him too.

I said it twice, too, because as I was leaving my parents home, something made me turn around and run back to his bedroom to say it again.

I didn't want to go.

*  *  *

He didn't either.

*  *  *

They say that time helps, Maureen. But I don't think that it's "time" so much as it is sorting these things out in your own head.

Remembering them helps.

Then, the honoring of that memory begins the healing.

*  *  *

Hugs, Maureen


nakdthoughts
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Between the Lines
39 posted 2004-07-03 09:02 PM


Karen, I had been reading your stories the  past day or two and had wanted to reply to them...but instead thought I would post the last of what I had written while sitting there with her...and of the last morning waiting for them to come and take her away...

How similar, I thought, were the actions and reactions of your father...to my sister's  and the stubborness and the not wanting to be anywhere but home and trying to remember to answer the questions correctly...but not wanting us to to it for her..

so similar

Thank you everyone for your caring words...I am resting with my Mother here right now, a few  days of "nothingness" before  driving her home to Tennessee again and returning then a few days after.
Its been a whirlwind of feelings and actions and I am not sure yet if I am still in the eye of it or  working my way through it to its edges.

hugs
M

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
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40 posted 2004-07-03 10:30 PM


Take your time, Maureen. It's a strange place to be in.

I'm so glad you understand me, though.

I've been misunderstood about this stuff before. There have been some who thought I shared my stories out of a game of "up-man-ship", and it really hurt my feelings when someone thought that of me.

It's just my way of understanding things. I like to see things through others eyes, and compare it to my own experience.

I think that is the point of communication.

There's this movie I've been talking about alot--"Waking Life"--and there is a bit of dialogue in there regarding communication and the exchange of language and ideas as a sort of meeting of the "holy" within us.

The character in the movie said that she believed that we live for those moments of clarity--the "a-ha!" met in each other--she called it "communion."

But, I can also quote from The storybook, "The Little Prince" too.

"Words are the source of misunderstandings."

I think that is equally true.

And since ya'll all know by now that my thinking process is a bit like pulling a loose thread on a cable knit sweater, I'll trudge on further with this and add that I was, just this afternoon watching a favorite interview with Joseph Campbell.

He stated that the three greatest religions in the world are about to disrupt the entire world (this was before the war) because they couldn't agree on METAPHORS. (He was referring to what symbol each language uses to describe "god".)

He said exactly what I've ascribed to all along, which is that most people are essentially saying the same things, but mistakenly think the other doesn't understand because we are so busy applying them to our own life descriptions.

He also used an interesting analogy of religions as software programs in computers. In order to run the program, you have to use the proper language or it just won't work. He laughed then, and called himself a "maverick", saying that he liked a little of this and a little of that, but because of that inclination he would never attain the mystical experience of a saint, whereas, one who stayed focused on their own program and mastered it just might.

hmm.

Me too, I suppose.

Now.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say with all of the above--but just a thank you for understanding my motivation, and taking my little heart offerings at face value.

I think I write because I feel a need to be understood. And I read, and listen so I that I can better understand.

It's less lonely that way.

*  *  *

Peace to all.

Janet Marie
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41 posted 2004-07-04 12:10 PM


I think I write because I feel a need to be understood. And I read, and listen so I that I can better understand.

It's less lonely that way.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*smiling at you*

you are poetic profundity baby...

  


Some things cannot be explained by verses that rhyme,
They are not measured by the commitment of time.
Some emotions run too deep to be described by words,
Forgiveness and understanding ...
remain the most beautiful words ever heard.


Sunshine
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42 posted 2004-07-04 12:38 PM


It's just my way of understanding things. I like to see things through others eyes, and compare it to my own experience.

I think that is the point of communication.

~*~

Bingo.

You are all such intelligent women...and I am very proud that you get past the ones who misunderstand you with such compassion...for not everyone has "been there yet"...

Sunshine
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43 posted 2004-07-04 08:23 AM


quote:
He also used an interesting analogy of religions as software programs in computers. In order to run the program, you have to use the proper language or it just won't work. He laughed then, and called himself a "maverick", saying that he liked a little of this and a little of that, but because of that inclination he would never attain the mystical experience of a saint, whereas, one who stayed focused on their own program and mastered it just might.


I'd put this in my signature line...but it's too long.  However, it IS a

brian sites
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44 posted 2004-07-04 10:59 PM


maverickness
over
sainthood

anyday
anytime

yes

thass me

and karen?
please read RAW or antero
Joseph is stellar scholar
but is loathe to grab you by the shoulders
and scream in his awesome accent..

GO DEEPER

healing thoughts to everyone

the_loner_23
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45 posted 2004-07-04 11:24 PM


  I have a question for ya'll. Why is it when your ex gets a new girlfriend it still hurts you? Tonight he e-mailed me to tell me that he was on his 3rd date with this girl. I read it and I got ticked. But I was the one who dumped him. I don't get these feelings. Especially since I was the one who wanted to move on.

Cold hands means a warm heart

serenity blaze
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46 posted 2004-07-05 02:52 AM


so much reading, so little time.



and my my my mybri--now you tease a bit, but you know I'm smiling too.

I wish I were more qualified to speak on the glorious Robert Anton Wilson, but I was only recently (and briefly) introduced to his work, oh 'bout a year ago?

But I know you're not comparing him to Joseph Campbell.

(You ain't talkin' bout my JOEY!!!)

heh.

But now I tease...

I think that one is a case of apples and oranges--unless of course, you can recommend something by RAW that speaks with the same tone of reverence that Mr. Campbell uses in his discourses on mythology. His obvious love of humanity and gentle humor, his sheer delight translates to my soul. Smile.

Reading him is like a friend whispering to you, "ssssssshhh--I want to show you something" and he proceeds to handle the weave of myth, spirituality, psychology as one would handle a fragile fine lace.

Had I been so fortunate as to meet him, I'd have sat silently enthralled at his feet. It's that very non-threatening manner that allows me to drop the defenses that keep me emotionally attached to what I think that I know--and explore the connections of the mythology and anthropological results of the cultural ideologies that make up the all of who I am, as a representive of a human in say, this evolutionary stage of societal development.

He lights candles in my head.

Now RAW? Giggle, now he, or so I gathered from the meager buffet that I sampled, is also a feast for my mind.

But I can compare him to that wickedly smart ass friend we've all had, who can slay a cherished dragon of mistaken belief with his double edge sword of intellect as evidenced by his wonderfully sharp one-liners in the tone. His observations are deliciously sharp and clean, and funny as hell too.

He also enlightens my mind. Only he does it by taking a can of gasoline, emptying it in my mind, and dropping a match. And yes, I smile, because the fact that he can encourage me to dance around the fire in my own mind as the rest of me burns down also excites me, but in a different way.

Apples and Oranges. I love Bach and AC/DC too.

and as for the other, I'm reading as fast as I can, m'love.

But sometimes I just like to stop and think too.

*  *  *


serenity blaze
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47 posted 2004-07-05 02:57 AM


and tch...didn't mean to ignore you Julie, but I couldn't presume to try to explain why you feel the way you feel.

But if you're just looking for some sort of assurance--you're experiencing a very common feeling.

So you ain't weird, k?



Mysteria
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48 posted 2004-07-05 04:07 AM


Oh Karen we said goodnight to each other only a few minutes ago and already I miss you after reading this latest installment - lady, I want your brain for a day, just one day.  It is the way you "feel things."  You go beyond regular experiencing to a higher level of consciousness that few will ever reach.  Anyway, I like Bach too, but AC/DC - sheesh Karen!

Now Julie, what you are experiencing is very normal trust me. I went through it many times, the only difference is I acted on my jealousy with a ritual I had created as soon as I found out where his new lady parked her car.  I always got great glee out of sticking a small potatoe up her tailpipe. Oh I am so naughty! If you know what that does, you don't want to do it to someone with a weak heart that is for sure, as it makes THE loudest bang you could make next to 4th of July fireworks that is.  

Oh and by the way Julie, I hope that your Mom gets better really quick. What a worry.

Aenimal
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49 posted 2004-07-05 02:13 PM


nm

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (07-05-2004 09:25 PM).]

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50 posted 2004-07-05 03:03 PM


Raph - I have had many of those weekends in the past myself.  Never watched movies,...played the heck out of my Jane Oliver album (yes an LP...on the stereo record player)though. Sobbing and sipping Southern Comfort and a touch of grenadine. Good Lord how depressed I would become! And a little tipsy too.
  Then, I would get a terrible headache and have to have a Tylenol and make some toast with peanut butter to sop up the booze.
  Ah, yes, lost loves. I think it hurt even more so because from age 17 to 30, I was married to my highschool sweetheart. Sweetheart-Meathead.  So, when we split and I started to date again..groan...I was taken for a fool as quick as you can say LOSER!!! But, life goes on. Make the best of it. Come here and I'll give you an understanding

the_loner_23
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51 posted 2004-07-05 04:03 PM


  I told him last night I did not feel like talking to him for awhile. And if he did e-mail me not to mention the word "girlfriend". See he wants us to try and be friends. But it is hard when is your ex. I don't know what the heck to do. All I can think of is not talk to him for awhile.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Aenimal
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52 posted 2004-07-05 09:25 PM


pink floyd records and other substances for me. thanks chris
serenity blaze
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53 posted 2004-07-06 01:50 AM


I'm not qualified to talk about "lost loves," I'm afraid.

I consider love an energy, and to my way of thinking, energy can be diverted, but not lost.

Every time I've loved, I have weighed the checks and balances, and I like to think I've always come out "in the black" for the experience.

Loves are never lost--they are transformed.

I don't consider any investment of love as a lost cause, and no regrets either. I just figured if it didn't work out, then it was meant to work out the way that it is NOW---it took me a long time for me to understand that I didn't have to express my love in a sexual capacity--that love can be and is expressed in many ways.

*  *  *

As for romance?

Maybe it's like a puppy. Love comes to you all fresh and new and full of bounce and energy, but so new, so wonderful, the inconveniences are endearing.

New love can be very unruly, but it's that very unpredictable quality that we call "fresh" and new.

A matter of perspective, I suppose.

I read somewhere that the glow of love, the tolerance and discovery that this particular author described as insanity, tends to wear off--and she even gave an estimated time allotment of three years.

Wear off? I shake my head. I don't think that's accurate.

Naw. Puppies grow--they change--and love does too.

After a few years, there is a more familiar dance between the two--not always easy-- and a look conveys the all of the words, but even just the vibe is enough to convey the tone. A simple "sense of air" is enough to ruin an evening. I can judge by the angle of my husband's shoulders when he walks in the door if he's going to be "present" during our evenings, or add my voice to the nastier list of "things to do" in his mind--and add me to the list of things he'd rather not have in his life.

Now that hurts.

There's an adjustment period, and a bit of emotional trade off, I think.

*  *  *

She asks:

"Where the hell have you been?"

as she thinks

"Thank God/dess You're HOME."

as he defends

"I'm gone so I can care for YOU."

(okay, she thinks, "yeah sure, so where's my side of buffalo?)

but she optimistically hopes, that somewhere inside he is also thinking:

"Thank God/dess You're HERE."

but then there's the dishes in the sink and the towels on the floor, the mail is a pile of bills and the water heater is busted, and they're distracted by the annoyances yet again, sometimes amplified by the attempt to find the middleground.

*  *  *

It gets even more complicated too. Add marriage to the relationship and you get more questions, of vows and character, and the "do you love me's?" multiply as you yourself grow and change, and the definition of love changes (or expands), so that even that simple question changes to voice the insecurity of "do you really love me?"

Then there's just agreeing on what constitutes good sex.



Which brings me to this--

Add children to the equation and you get a bag of tricks, filled with the ghosts of childhoods. One is bad enough. Now there are two. And they have to be blended and synchronized. Traditions are challenged and re-arranged, and the hauntings of bad experiences keep mucking about. Things you thought you'd forgotten are resurrected as you live through the moments of your own childbeing inside, while you learn parenting, challenging the memories of your own, and understanding the why's of your own upbringing, and re-living the pain of loss for something you can never replace. You find yourself overcompensating in some areas, and under estimating signifigance in others. And you make up the applications of all you know as you go along too, because just like "they" always said, you truly don't understand until you have your own.

And as for regrets of dreams--think about it. You had expectations and dreams about you and this person, and you've had to let go of that. Those dreams made you happy for awhile, so naturally, you feel bad knowing that those dreams will not be realized.

It's grief, sweetie. (or withdrawals)

Feel it, understand it, and let it pass.

All will be well.

*  *  *

But if I may paraphrase a favorite comedian, Steven Wright--

"You can't have everybody--where you would put 'em?"




iliana
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54 posted 2004-07-06 04:54 AM


Karen, I like what you had to say about love so much, I'd like to copy it and send it to my daughter who is thinking about moving in with her boyfriend.  May I?  You speaketh the truth, lady.  (Don't ask what I'm doing up so late tonight....yes, ma'am, I'm going to bed now.)
Sunshine
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55 posted 2004-07-06 07:01 AM


I apparently missed what Raph originally posted...and I'm sorry I did, because it seems to be pulling out a lot of good revelations/responses...

but for now, suffice to say...I need a new puppy.  

serenity blaze
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56 posted 2004-07-06 08:00 AM


ah...jo, you know you didn't even have to ask, lady! and yip yip to Kari too!

Hugs to all--I'm looking at that sun shining outside and wondering, why don't I just sleep till noon?

Summertime in New Orleans is a really great time to be nocturnal.

Wish me luck!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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57 posted 2004-07-06 12:39 PM


i was reading through...and serenitys response about marriage and love got me to thinking...and unfortunately im not as eloquent as she is...but the universe knows "ive lived what she's saying"...im going to put some lyrics here of a song that holds me through these times...Love and relationships are such an intricate deeply affecting part of life....and im still wearing training wheels...and damn, it hurts.
but one thing i know for sure, gotta believe in me...just gotta believe

these lyrics are by Tracy Chapman:
```````````````````````````````````
I was a pretty young girl once
I had dreams I had high hopes
I married a man he stole my heart away
He gave his love but what a high price I paid
And all that you have is your soul

Why was I such a young fool
Thought I’d make history
Making babies was the best I could do
Thought I’d made something that could be mine forever
Found out the hard way one can’t possess another
And all that you have is your soul

I thought thought that I could find a way
To beat the system
To make a deal and have no debts to pay
I’d take it all take it all I’d run away
Me for myself first class and first rate
But all that you have is your soul

Here I am waiting for a better day
A second chance
A little luck to come my way
A hope to dream a hope that I can sleep again
And wake in the world with a clear conscience and clean hands
’cause all that you have is your soul

Oh my mama told me
’cause she say she learned the hard way
Say she wanna spare the children
She say don’t give or sell your soul away
’cause all that you have is your soul
Don’t be tempted by the shiny apple
Don’t you eat of a bitter fruit
Hunger only for a taste of justice
Hunger only for a world of truth
’cause all that you have is your soul
`````````````````````````````````````````

Many of us know these words as if they were taken from a page of our own journels.


serenity blaze
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58 posted 2004-07-06 12:59 PM


I love that song.
the_loner_23
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59 posted 2004-07-06 01:26 PM


Thanks for the help. Anyways, I am more worried about my mom than love problems right now. It seems like symptoms keep on popping up left and right. And I want to say thank you for your prayers.
Oh yeah I went to a beautiful wedding last weekend. My friend Kimberly got married. It was fun at the reception too.

Cold hands means a warm heart

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60 posted 2004-07-06 01:47 PM


seren, somehow, just somehow i knew...you would know that song too

serenity blaze
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61 posted 2004-07-06 08:26 PM


I'm just having the crummiest day.

You ever have one of those days, and you feel guilty admitting it, knowing others have it much worse?

I was just humming that old Lennon/McCartney song, "It's Getting Better All The Time"--trying to make myself believe it.

Then I get to the part where they echo,
"can't get much worse" which reminded me that John Lennon came up with that line.

hmm.

Sure it can.


Sunshine
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62 posted 2004-07-06 09:04 PM


I'm just having the crummiest day.

You ever have one of those days, and you feel guilty admitting it, knowing others have it much worse?

~&~

Get OUT of my mirror!

Yep.  Me too.

And was just wondering to whom I could tell it, and know I wasn't whining...just being honest.

serenity blaze
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63 posted 2004-07-06 09:45 PM


Well, another time, I would have said, forget the wine, bring on the cuervo...

sigh.

me and Jose' used to be likethis.




Sunshine
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64 posted 2004-07-06 10:06 PM


Honey...we've got both.  May I pour?

Sigh.

But it's not helping, and nothing like that really does, except to make things seem just a bit lighter, for just a small moment, before the sledge hammer hits.

~*~

Examining “Happy”

In short, these are synonyms of “happy”:  content, pleased, glad, joyful, cheerful, high spirits, blissful, exultant, ecstatic, delighted, cherry, jovial, cloud nine…

Don’t they make you smile?

They SOUND agreeable.  Of course, that could simply be Pavlov’s theory that we know they are, so we affix a face or time, or moment, to such words.

I am examining such because I wonder why it is, I can be all of this away from home, but seem to have a need to dismiss or lose it once I enter “the house”.

And that, my friends, is very sad.  Now, synonym-wise, there are not as many meanings or equations for the word “sad”.  That makes me “happy”.  Sad SHOULD be on a short leash.  Heaven knows, why would we want more synonyms to equate sad, when we have so many that would give us just the opposite?

And that brings us to short leashes.

Why is it, when we give someone we love, or once loved, and are living with, because it’s “easier” than calling it quits…Why, when we give them what they want…THEY cannot find their own happiness in their own desires?

I believe freedom is one of the ultimate gifts a man can give a woman, and vice versa.  Ultimate freedom comes with its own ties, you see.  To have that gift, means, I love you enough for you to make the choices you will make; and if you come back to me, you love me; and if you don’t, you loved me once.

Enter, the butterfly.  A butterfly could never live with chains.

Enough said.

Serenity? One more very humble, very appreciative, thank you....for giving me a place to just "be".

serenity blaze
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65 posted 2004-07-06 11:00 PM


I keep backspacing here.

Sad? sigh. I'm pretty damned depressed for such a short word.

Hugs, Kari.

Congratulate me--the house is coming along so nicely--it doesn't even look like a prison.

I think I need to just take my foul mood and go channel surfing a bit.

Maybe some Joey Campbell on DVD. THAT always makes him go away. *snicker*


the_loner_23
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66 posted 2004-07-06 11:14 PM


I have been in a fairly good mood all day. But I could still use a drink if you think it would help my stomach. LOL But today is the calmest I have felt in like a month. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........

Cold hands means a warm heart

sweet_cute_palestinian04
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67 posted 2004-07-07 01:12 AM


hey i made it in lol,serenity blaze  thanks for ur  very kind heart sis...im soo glad to meet a person like u!!

i will love it ... of courseeeeeee


Fate is what controls the world so just let it go and I PROMISE YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!

Mysteria
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68 posted 2004-07-07 01:52 AM


Am I in the right line-up for anti-depressants?  I am in the same headspace Karen, but at least I think I have a handle on what may be causing mine now.  Willow died on July 10th and my son reminded me I get "weird like this" at about the same time every year for the last two years, so I guess I am normal?   I have been crying about  something, but what it was I had no idea. LOL  I am sure into the whine myself, and got all hissy cause I thought, now where is everyone when it is I that need them?  No where that is where.  I stopped myself sending out an email to all my friends telling them to continue to leave me alone like they have been, if that makes sense   I too am going to take a round out of the converter I guess, and hope this passes soon.  Oh!  I love that song too, love Tracey Chapman period.  Just try to ignore me, I go away.  Night.
serenity blaze
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69 posted 2004-07-07 03:36 AM


y'know something? I didn't even think about that (consciously) but yer onto something there.

This July marks the third year anniversary of my Dad's death and my father-in-law's.

AND?

tomorrow I go see an internist as I continue my quest to discover just why Karen swells. (and with my Dad? It all started with at the internist's.)

But you knew that.

Yer not so ditzy, Sharon, but it's nice "cover."  



love you canuck.

Now maybe I can sleep?

(serenity looks both ways)

after an illegal popsickle maybe...  


Okay. That accounts for SOME swelling, but that I know about! giggle?

chompchompchomp

serenity blaze
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70 posted 2004-07-07 03:57 AM


A word for Mysteria:

From Weird and Wonderful Words edited by Erin McKean--

"widdendream an obsolete Scottish word meaning 'in a state of confusion or mental disturbance', often in the phrase in a widdendream."

serenity squints. (note to self: eye doctor too)

OH.

"From an Old English phrase meaning 'in mad joy.'"

okay. Not as applicable as I thought, but still kinda interesting.

(Now ya'll see how this insomnia stuff works, eh, folks?)

Okay, I'm going, I'm going, already.

Nite Gracie.  

Mysteria
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71 posted 2004-07-07 04:22 AM


Nite Gracie, happy widdendreams.  Would make more sense if it was widdledreams but who am I to argue with the Scottish? Insomnia, ah I know her well.
Sunshine
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72 posted 2004-07-07 06:45 AM


Big hugs on the house coming along, m'dear...
everyone deserves a makeover... ...

and Mysteria?  Yep, those kind of anniversaries can sneak up and getcha...

now, to tackle yet another day...

Mysteria
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73 posted 2004-07-07 01:00 PM


Dear Karen,  

This recent development with me as I explained to Kit when I answered her email, has hit me hard out of left field, and taken me for a loop emotionally, and physically.  I can get the emotional part dealt with, and this physical part my doctor says will pass, as it is almost "empathy sickness" (there is actually a name for it!)  My symptoms are like yours internal as well, (Willow died having cancer in most of her internal organs.)  I don't go too far from home right now as I have no control of it, and have been assured it will pass (now that was a pun!)

I didn't allow myself to grieve properly in the first place for Jenna (Willow,) and never even cried when she died.  As you know, I do grief therapy at Lions Gate Palliative Care, but it seems it was a different story when it was my grief we were dealing with.  I was simply in denial for two years, and little by little it snuck up on me and needed out.  

Before I tell you about today I want to thank Chris (Nightshade) for even noticing I was not myself as I sure was not, but just then I was a mess and could not even respond to her email to explain why, or thank her.  So thank you Chrislane   

Well ... someone who does know me really well cared enough, (as she always does,) and with her email she sent me something that finally got me to wail like a Banshee this morning.  It was long overdue by years, and strangely I feel way better now.       How did she make me open up and face where no one could?  I hope you don't mind that I am posting her poem right on your thread so in case others are feeling as you and I; they too will get to a starting place of healing. Kit, thank you for just being you!


The Significant Date

by Kit McCallum



If truth be told, I laid awake
For most the night it seems,
No sandman came to visit me
To whisk me off in dreams.

I've felt it build the last few nights,
Sub-conscience must have known,
The thoughts I block from active mind;
This date engraved in stone.

I look upon the calendar
And see an empty space,
A date that holds the sorrows
Time can simply not erase.

To some, it's just another day,
No real significance,
They'll go about their same routine
As always, in a trance.

I ponder how this date will
Simply carry on its way,
While every year my life will halt
Upon this very day.

I'll try to smile and forge ahead,
Pretend that I'm alright,
And hide the tears I save by day
To let them fall at night.

No one can truly understand
The depths of feelings wrought,
Within the heart of sorrow's song,
Lest in these shoes, they've walked.


Ron C. If by some chance you read this, let me tell you that this place made a huge impact on me personally today, and that is thanks to you m'friend!  I would not even know Kit if it were not for you, and I can't imagine my life without her now (she is a little crazy but basically has a heart as big as Texas.)
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74 posted 2004-07-07 01:27 PM


I'm so glad, Mysteria, that you've had the opportunity to meet so many Pipsters personally...it makes a huge difference in how we read each other in the blue pages.

Hugs, my friend...

serenity blaze
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75 posted 2004-07-07 07:46 PM


a quick update?

I think--I think I may have found a real doctor today.

I'm cautiously optimistic.

I call tomorrow to schedule for surgery...and even better? He gave me the name of the physician who attends his WIFE, to help with my list of "other" problems.

wow.

hmmmm.

I sure hope he loves his wife.

grin?

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76 posted 2004-07-07 09:09 PM


*grin*

I had a "real" doctor...and by the way he talked to me...I knew he must really love his wife...

because he showed true concern...

and I was almost upset because he took such good care of my own problem....

that I don't get to see him that much, anymore....

serenity blaze
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77 posted 2004-07-07 09:27 PM


grin.

Maybe you should've opened your mouth?

giggle.

sorry.

(But I remember things when I wanna)



Hugs you.

Sunshine
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78 posted 2004-07-07 11:17 PM


I did want to do just that.

And I did.

I told him how scared I was to lose "this part of me."  I told him how upset I was at being pushed into "old age" just so it could relieve others of my having to grow old.

I cried at the loss of me.

How stupid it is to feel the loss of life I didn't even want...no one really wants to start having children at 48....but the upside to all of this was...

less chance of cancer...

hmmmm....

cancer over potential child....
potential problem with child over cancer....
knowing I'm going through the stages only ONE person is telling me I'm going through...

either I'm a really good actress....

or I'm in the pits.

but you know?  What I was most scared of during the operation?  It was that I would talk...about things I know not to talk about....

like...

confidences.

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (07-08-2004 08:54 AM).]

serenity blaze
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79 posted 2004-07-08 03:15 AM


nodding

I tend to talk in my sleep...not surprising, huh?

But thanks and hugs to all, and I just wanted to say special thanks for helping me through a difficult time yet again, and if I'm not here sometimes, plant something new for me?

I'm not sure, but I may not have as much time here as I'd like--and I don't intend to hurt anyone's feelings by not acknowledging some posts.

I think it may be time for me to tend to that "inner garden" awhile. (*chuckle*)



Love to all with my gratitude.

Nightshade
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80 posted 2004-07-08 10:41 AM


SURGERY???!! What's the matter with our Serene one?!! Too much grouting I bet.

Oh my, I feel like I am out of the loop so to speak. See? Ya take off your tiara for five minutes to tint your roots, and all hell breaks loose around here! Well....that might be stretching it abit, but .... whaaaaaat happened?!!

I hope it is nothing serious.
chris backsteps a few hundred threads to refresh her memory

serenity blaze
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81 posted 2004-07-08 05:52 PM


I have been debating how much detail I should post here, but what the heck?

grin

I've told ya'll everything else (er...almost)

I'm going in next Wednesday to have an anal fissure repaired. It should be a simple same day surgery  visit, unless, of course, there's some surprises.

The doc said he can't promise as he never knows what he'll find until he goes in there.

(I've already asked him to check for my blow dryer, my hubby's graduation ring and an x boyfriend)

wakawakawaka?

sigh.

I really AM trying to show some restraint on making the predictable wisecracks--and I realize that just posting this could make me the butt of a few jokes. <--see what I mean? I can't seem to help myself!

But yes, the doc discovered some scar tissue along with a pretty good tear. Apparently I WAS lifting stuff the wrong way.

sigh.

I didn't know there were rules.

I was told it's a pretty common malady, but this sort of thing usually happens to men as they are more likely to do heavy lifting.

So there it is, and I'll spare ya'll the comedy routine, because, well, I was already scolded by the doc for making light of the situation.

Apparently this sorta thing can make ya sick.

(um...duh?)

But that's it for THAT part of the story.

*  *  *

And now I want to thank everybody for keeping the journal going for me--it turned out to be something special (at least for me) and I wouldn't have enjoyed it so much without everybody bravely joining in to share. I want to thank Kari especially, as she got the idea of what I was going for right away--and Mysteria?

The Tiara Club...grin.

Whaddya think?

Think they'll let me wear it into surgery?

thank you

and I'll be around for awhile.

But after that I'm told I'll be back on the couch with me arse in the air...

lucky for me I've had some experience with that.



Love you all.


serenity blaze
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82 posted 2004-07-08 06:11 PM


What?

No requests for PICS?


Sunshine
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83 posted 2004-07-08 06:25 PM


Ah sweetie, while I'm sure it's cute and all?  I'd really rather see the countertop...

let's see...we need to get you hooked up with a wireless keyboard and mouse...

and move the computer to the sofa, putting it on a side table, just at eye level...there....

fix pillows just so...there.  Now you can hang your arms over the arm of the sofa and type away....

Ok.  You can go have your surgery now...

Sunshine
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84 posted 2004-07-08 06:25 PM


Oh, and I guess it's in everyone else's hands to give you READING material...

I'll see what I can do

serenity blaze
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85 posted 2004-07-08 06:26 PM


I THOUGHT of that!


garysgirl
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86 posted 2004-07-08 06:47 PM


Hey, SereneOne, my thoughts and prayers are with you and will stay with you, too......
as well as everyone else who needs prayer.
With Love and Heart Hugs,
Ethel

Janet Marie
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87 posted 2004-07-08 09:24 PM


"wakka wakka"

Sen...youre priceless....



Sunshine
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88 posted 2004-07-08 09:28 PM


The artist in you needs a voice. Creative
efforts inform even your most logically
minded tasks.  Allowing yourself to be bad
at an activity is the key to getting good or
even brilliant at it.  Be easy on yourself.

~*~

So said today’s horoscope.  Now, I read these most every day with a very open mind.  But my mind has been playing tricks on me of late – telling me I am not happy, nor where I want to be at this time in my life.  [Crisis…check!]

Everyone around me is retiring, or has retired, or is getting critically ill with things doctors cannot cure…[Crisis, check check!]

But I hang around with old people, too.  

I’ve had one too many people tell me I have a talent.  I keep denying this…because I see so much talent around me.

And then I have a boss with an attitude problem…which only compounds my feelings of crisis.  Today?  I wondered about a grant, and could I support me, my dog, my spouse…and do what I really want to do.

I look at my horoscope after the fact, and think, “no kidding.”

“Allowing yourself to be bad at an activity is the key to getting good or even brilliant at it.”

If’n I’m bad enough…perhaps unemployment would get me through to what I really need…

Heh.

Oh, the mind of a very frustrated person can be a wondrous place.

My mother would have turned 72 this Saturday.

She left too soon, and I feel lost at times, as if my best friend took that fork in the road, and then put up a “detour” sign, forcing me to go another way.

I could use her advice right now.  I think I hear her, telling me what to do…but the obstacles I face in doing so, well, some of those obstacles live and breathe.  I wonder if I’m tough enough, strong enough, to allow myself to be as bad as I need to be, to getting good, or even brilliant.

Love you, Mom...

Sunshine
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89 posted 2004-07-08 10:00 PM


Before Passions….

Once upon a time, long, long ago, there was a site where I posted “angel” poetry.  This was before I found my way to Passions.  It was not so much an interactive site, but more of a “post your thoughts and walk away” kind of site.  I lost connection with it, and lost so much poetry.  I thought I would have that link always, but as computers change, so do the bytes of time.  However, it was angel poetry, so I have a feeling my poems just flitted off and found a new home in another mind, or heart.

Or, so I hope.  It was before I knew to save poetry, thoughts, etc., on a disk, or CD.  I had a very antiquated home computer at the time, so…

Save your stuff.  

My thought on this has to do with angels.  Several have visited me lately, and I know of one personal angel…who has touched not only my heart, and soul but that of hundreds, if not thousands, of others.  This angel shall go nameless for the time being, because if I were to tell the name, well then, my angel could very well disappear.

My point on this is that we never know who will touch our lives, how long they will be here, or in what manner they will affect our lives.

The angel-ripple meter can sometimes float off the charts, if you can take the time to get outside of yourself and look around at whom you touch, and who touches you, by word alone.

So when the weary sigh of exasperation sits your shoulder, now and then, look it square in the eye, tell it to take a hike, and look around.

Someone needs an angel.

And that angel is, of course, you.

Nightshade
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90 posted 2004-07-08 11:04 PM


"I was told it's a pretty common malady, but this sort of thing usually happens to men as they are more likely to do heavy lifting."

well, I'll be a monkey's aunt ... lifting heavy articles with one's butt can cause this?!! Whooooaa..I will be more careful now!

Hee hee...seriously, Karen, take it easy...don't try to rush things afterwards and get one of those donut rings....no, not the kind from the coffee shop .... a rubber one for your cute little hiney! Hmmm.... a childs beach ring might work too, or ... okay, okay....off to bed with me. luv ya!!

iliana
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91 posted 2004-07-09 02:37 AM


Karen, poooooor baby, it's not a laughing matter....not really, but then again I know laughter heals an awful lot. So, keep CRACKIN' those jokes......sorry.  (My prayers will be with you and my Mom who is going in for a "procedure" on Monday -- she's 84 years old and I'm concerned -- she'll be needing a donut and pillows, too.)

Sunshine -- I think you're right about Karen needing to get that cordless keyboard.  We'll miss her wakawka too much.  Now, as for you, I can just imagine what you are feeling at work, sister in law.  You know I can.  Thank goodness, I got out of all that, sort of, with my business.  At least, it is mine.  Maybe, you could start something like I do.  I don't think there is a really good report in Kansas anymore.  Take a look at my website, www.ettrialreports.com (I know, I'm not a web designer, but at least that will give you the idea of how I help make ends meet.)  If you want to talk more about that, email me.  The income can be pretty good depending on how you handle it -- at least it's something and I don't have a huge subscription base.  It works around my schedule so I can rediscover myself after years of abuse working for others and I can do this until I die (as long as I can talk and type) and no one can hold my job over my head.  Now, that's just a thought....I guess, I'm just trying to say, where there is a will, there's a way, huh?  

iliana
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92 posted 2004-07-09 02:39 AM


Karen -- I think you should at least attempt the tiara!  They'll probably make you put it in a locker -- but at least, they'll know you possess it!  *wink*
Mysteria
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93 posted 2004-07-09 04:22 AM


   lucky for me you have a cordless phone isn't it?  Karen and I found out we were more than soul sisters today.  Two Passion pretties, at the doctor, come out with basically similar ailments.  My problem will heal a lot faster than hers, but I think we found out today we were both not exactly that anal retentive after all.     *wakka, wakka, wakka*

And, Nancy Lee ... It appears that Raph, Karen, and I are all abnormal according to your test, but then tell us something we didn't already know     However, of the three, I was the only one said pink hammer!


serenity blaze
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94 posted 2004-07-09 06:01 AM




iliana
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95 posted 2004-07-09 12:43 PM


Now that is just too weird, Sharon and Karen!  Maybe that's carrying empathy just a little too far!  wakawakawaka

Morning ladies, all!  I'll be stopping back later tonight but got to go for now.

Enchantress
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96 posted 2004-07-09 01:08 PM


Afternoon all!!

Karen, You are normal!
And I promise not to make butt jokes k?
Butt, let's hope that next Wednesday gets to the seat, er, bottom of your problems. Wakawakawaka!

Sharon, You are a sweetheart and something of a computer whiz yourself.  Thank you so much for all your tips and help...methinks we've got it licked.  *fingers crossed*

*Nancy winks and smiles over her shoulder as she heads for her garden*

Mysteria
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97 posted 2004-07-10 02:14 AM



IMPORTANT TONGUE IN CHEEK REPORT

Normal programming has been interrupted for this very important announcement:

"Ladies and Gentlemen",

Please pardon this interruption, but we have found ourselves in a state of anal emergency.

It has come to our attention that the aforementioned photo was NOT
actually "Serenity's GARDEN." This photo is in fact actually the magnetic resonance imaging of Serenity's ANUS.

This is not a drill. This is an actual state of  emergency of her anus!
anyhoo ~
Please remain seated and keep your hands in the cart at all times."

"For the enjoyment of all of our guests--Please--no flash photography."

"Have a very serenity day."



Sam Donaldson has reported from the AP:

"The size of these things are enormous. They actually choke me as they take my breath away."

(sounds of gagging)

*interference*

"I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, we've apparently lost the signal."

"Sam?"

"Sam???"

"Hmmm. It seems that they are asking if the owners of a ford escort would report to valet ... apparently there has been an accident.
They've been rear-ended and there is some loss of oil."

(looks concerned)

"Sam, is that you?"

"GREAT. Sam--we've had reported sightings of ELVIS. Can you substantiate that?"

pause

He listens and nods, answering:

"YES--it seems there has been some evidence found of biological cloning--most specifically, banana peels and ice cream sandwich wrappers--but nothing definitive."

brrrrrrrrrrrrrwerrrrrrrrrrrrrrp....razz

Sam Donaldson looks confused.

"Is there anything else you can add to that Sam?"
"pause:

Sam listens

nods

"Yes, we would like to say that all tour buses have been canceled, due to lack of clearance."

"Thank you Sam."

"Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, that's what we know so far. We'll keep you updated as the story continues."

"As you all know, there is still the mystery of the missing x boyfriend, who disappeared two decades ago, and also the miraculous re-appearance of her husband's graduation ring--intriguing story."

"Indeed"

From CNN, we thank you.


*Photo - "Borrowed"     from Sunshine.


[This message has been edited by Mysteria (07-10-2004 03:03 AM).]

iliana
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98 posted 2004-07-10 02:20 AM


Sharon, now that deserves a double Wakawakawaka!  You and Karen ought to form a team -- I told her already she should do standup!  Well, I don't know....is stand up the easier way?  I might think so right now.  You, two..... laughin' through the tears, yep, yep.
serenity blaze
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99 posted 2004-07-10 02:39 AM


And I thought the reporters for HURRICANES were nuts.

I might add, I have some "inside" info.

Flash flood warning for Tuesday.

Take all necessary precautions.

*chuckle*

mymymy

if these walls could talk, eh?

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100 posted 2004-07-10 06:29 AM


Oh hello,   just wanted to be the 100th post and tell you all I am still awake at 3 in the morning and doubt I will sleep.  I am looking at albums and thinking about Willow and our great times together.  I also wanted to cover my bases for those worried about me, and calling here, I am actually okay now, honest.  Save your money, but I do thank you for caring. I was playing catch-up with friends from here all day on the phone.  That wonderful Kit fixed me up LOL.  I am dealing with this anniversary date of loosing the best friend any person could ever be blessed with in a lifetime, pretty well actually.  I sure miss her though, big time.  

As for Karen and I doing stand-up, I swear I am going to start turning our conversations on yahoo into a routine to sell!      

Watch for Tuesday's report of a "mud" slide and I hear via the grapevine there was a warning out about a severe flood. Good grief!

serenity blaze
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101 posted 2004-07-10 07:09 AM




sleep my friend.

kissing yer head...

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102 posted 2004-07-10 08:22 AM


Well now, surprise surprise me...if my photographic efforts are going to be put to good use, then I have to say, that I know for fact one, everything is going to turn out all right, as I, myself, with a little magic up my sleeve and the ability to see into the future of two lovely behinds, can say, with all due respect to the doctors, and their abilities, that everything is going to turn out just fine, and I expect a "smooth report" from both of our ladies...

for I have the preview of how the scopes will view the "post-op" scene...


Susan Caldwell
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103 posted 2004-07-10 03:32 PM


hmmmmmmmm....

I go away for a few days, come back and the front door is locked and everyone is out back in the garden!

*clink* to the two butts rapid return to health!

(Karen, just HOW were you lifting??)

Missed all of you!!!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

GG
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104 posted 2004-07-10 05:59 PM


Hello ladies...
I've been away, and will be away again, soon. But wrote this (a true story) while I was out. You all seem to me that you're the type to hold the world on your shoulders... so I wanted to give this to you.   all of you, hang in there.
Here goes...


He seemed to have a way with being down on himself. I guess others had a way of being down on him, too. He held the world, though. The weight of it pressed onto his shoulders and sank there in his warm flesh. He worried too much, but I guess the world does that to people…

“I don’t understand.” His eyes pulled into mine and I could almost see them reaching out, looking for whatever comfort my own eyes might bring. “They always say when you talk about things, the burden lessens.”

I watched him as he paused. His eyes left mine and turned down, helpless… hopeless. He swallowed, and I bit my lip trying to fight the tears that were already waiting to fall.

“So, why isn’t it any lighter? Why does it still hurt this much?”

I don’t think he expected an answer, and I sure as Hell didn’t know what to say. His life was worse then mine, his pain was greater, and he was stronger; so much stronger. Something in me still had some sense in it, though, so I started to speak.

“It works like this when the world is on your shoulders.” My voice was methodical but weak. Still unsure of what to say, I went on. “You can hold someone on both shoulders, and hold something in both hands… But when you take the things in your hands and give them to the people on your shoulders, you still hold the weight.”

We both stopped then, and we cried together. It made sense. If you hold everything, you can get rid of nothing.



Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
                  Joyce kilmer

[This message has been edited by GG (07-10-2004 06:38 PM).]

iliana
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105 posted 2004-07-10 06:05 PM


GG, I'm so glad you stopped in here.  You take care of yourself until we see you again.   ....jo
serenity blaze
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106 posted 2004-07-10 06:53 PM


Wow, Kari! Is that crystal?

hmmm....

perhaps I should change my name to suit my anus? giggle

crystal infinity...

Hmm.

I LIKE that!

* * *

and WELCOME GG!!!

a beautiful story, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I was particularly struck by this:

"“I don’t understand.” His eyes pulled into mine and I could almost see them reaching out, looking for whatever comfort my own eyes might bring. “They always say when you talk about things, the burden lessens.”

yes, sometimes when I talk about things, or write about them, I relive them. Well not sometimes, ALL of the time.

So actually, there ARE somethings "I'll never tell..."

I have a darker journal out there on the world wide web, buried pretty deep under a pseudo-pseudonym.

There ARE some thing I won't reveal.

Like (Susan) the fact that I hurt myself because I was lifting things without bending my knees. You see, I have bad knees. The part I won't tell is how they got "bad".



Thanks again, GG and please come back. You write beautifully m'friend.

and thanks jo, for keeping me company during my odd hours last night--er, this morning.

sigh.

Hugs all.

Ta for now!

Sunshine
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107 posted 2004-07-10 07:52 PM


Nah, sweetie...that is a negative of my cavern trip...but it looks like crystal.  In real time, it has all of the edifice of bloodlines running through rock...hmmmm....

GG...so glad you found your way here, m'dear...so very very glad....

Susan? You're HOME...we DID leave bread crumbs, you know...

To all of the ladies and gentlemen who make Passions - Passions....

I'm going to be quite busy in the next few months, for I have a new mission.  Oh, I'm sure I'll be in here, but I all need you to say a little "anything" for me...

Subject:  Perseverance ... I need your thoughts on keeping me on line to get this novel done.  Too many of you have given me the green light.

Too many of you are anxious to see me get this done.

I've procrastinated enough.  Anytime you see me doing any more of that?  Bite me!  [And, with the subject matter already set above, you know exactly WHERE....]



serenity blaze
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108 posted 2004-07-10 08:18 PM


Keep in mind that I am laughing with you, not at you, Kari.

But lemmmeeeeeeeee seeeeeeeee, you want me to help you to stop procrastinating?

MOI?

maybe later.





But seriously, good luck. Maybe Ron has some thoughts on this? Because I actually got interested in computers because I was going to do some online research to write my novel.(That was my excuse to buy the first computer, anyhow.)

Then I stumbled into Pip. And ya'll have been sufferin' ever since...



Sunshine
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109 posted 2004-07-10 08:41 PM


Sufferin'?  Methinks NOT...

laugh all you want, my witchy woman...

You are ONE of the main reasons

P.S. is getting off her duff....

because...we CAN....

go ahead, make fun...you know this is seriously serious right now...you know the why....and the why...

so I'm striding for the wherefor...

and hugging YOU all the way...

serenity blaze
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110 posted 2004-07-10 09:40 PM


Well, I've been thinking, and I'm not sure if the way I have it figured helps you, but maybe you can help me, and that might help you help yourself in the process. (hey, sometimes it happens that way)

My main problem is that I am "interactive."

Yep.

I do "play" off of other people. Laussy, get me together with the two sharons and we're like Sally, Buddy, & Rob from the Dick Van Dyke show. Now that's great if you can get us all a job writing for television. (I've been watching that thang again and it sure looks like anybody could write that garbage, anyhow.)

But "the novel"...I can only get so far before I get frustrated and hit delete delete delete in disgust because I think it's stale.


I NEED THE FEEDBACK. Reading comments & such (praise is lovely but it's not what I am talking about here). When I read others comments on my work it helps me to look at it through someone else's eyes. And even if they won't critique, just the process of me looking at it through their eyes is likely to prompt me to an edit. It lends perspective to the entire thing. And then there's just the inspiration. Give me the ball and I'll score a touchdown just because I like to do the victory dance under the uprights. (I am the most extroverted introvert you'll ever meet.)

And then? I tend to get bored easily, so the process of a novel is so lengthy--it actually just exhausts me. I just tend to give up. My mind is so scattered.

sigh.

No frigging focus.



So last year I thought I'd try writing vignettes and then marrying them together to form a hopefully cohesive story. I confess I just couldn't get the thing to "weave" to my satisfaction.

So here I am.

Writing HERE, while the characters I only sketched lightly are tugging at me in my head, sometimes screaming, "Hey--what about me? You can't just leave me like this!"

It's driving me nuts I tell ya.

and yawp.

Short trip.



Lawd-send-me-an-editor. And then gawd help me, stop me from killing them when they do their job.




serenity blaze
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111 posted 2004-07-10 09:49 PM


Now.

I've gone and given myself a headache.

Maybe I'll try some tv...

what's this?

TCM is running Marlon all night!

gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

"The Wild One"

and oh...here is something interesting too.

"Banned from The Bible" on the History Channel.

sigh.

(and no TIVO or VCR right now )

Did I mention that I have a problem with decision making as well as organization?

Oh well. There's always the "flash" button the remote.

Me and my butt are going to go guard the couch.

Later Sweet P'taters!

Nightshade
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112 posted 2004-07-10 10:44 PM


Geesh, and I thought that photo was of an oyster on the half shell.


It's really cool though Karilea.

I'm sorta bummed - ooops! sorry...I am sorta down in the dumps as today we went to a reception of sorts for my hubby's niece and her new husband. Oh, the reception was fun, good food, live blues band and those "stomp performers" who are amazing. Anyway, I was almost late as it took me forever to find something to wear. Sometime between last summer and now, my body has reshaped itself. No kidding! I was always pear-shaped....but man...this is RIDICULOUS!!! By the time I found something to wear to this function, I was all sweaty and my eye makeup had smeared clown-like on my face. sigh. Then, once the food was served buffet style, I was so hungry and tired of watching young, thin girls flitting here and there wearing just enough material to make a blindfold for my husband, that I forgot my innards problem (yes I have a medical condition there 'bouts too girls)and piled creamy potatoe salad on my plate! And a hot dog!!!! Thank goodness less than a half an hour later, my husband whispered that he wanted to leave. My shorts now felt like they were gonna rip off of me and my tummy was grumbling a soon to be Indian smoke signal.   Now that I have had my hot bath and put on my loose baby dolls (ewww baby) and found peace in Ser's garden, I think I'll have a snack. LOL.
Love you guys! Chrislane
  

Kielo
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113 posted 2004-07-11 12:44 PM


I'm home!

Wow. I just read everything I missed in one sitting. Now my butt hurts.

Oh well, it's not like I'm going anywhere. I'm talking to someone special.

I love how being happy feels strange. I'll never get used to it.

Don't worry, the world will probably crash again in a few days. I weathered a crisis yesterday - barely.

Being good is hard. I love the feeling of accomplishment (I only ever get that when I'm motivated by other people - otherwise I don't try), but it's so hard. I don't know why I bother... well, never mind, yes I do.

If you got anything out of that, my hat is off to you. Maybe I'll come back later and tell some stories. For now I'm just trying to sort out my head.

I missed you all.

Ki

iliana
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114 posted 2004-07-11 01:16 AM


Kielo -- welcome back!  You had a lot of catching up to do because you were way beHIND......HEHEHE

Karen -- I am so impressed with your writing I think you should take over were Irma Bombeck left off -- seriously.  Just writing your little everyday stories....and questions.....you light up so many folks' faces.  (PS....you're welcome....interesting chatter, yes.  Basically, though, you must understand this about me....I've basically full of BS most days ('specially nights) so don't take anything I say as gospel...I'm always learning something new.  BTW, that special on the history channel, I'm watching the replay at 1 am so I'll probably be in an out of PIP tonight/this morning.)

*hugs* to all.

serenity blaze
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115 posted 2004-07-11 02:27 AM


*laughing*

I'm watching it again now...maybe I can stay awake this time.

I'm full of BS and codeine, and I kept falling asleep during the earlier broadcast!

and I love the The Life of Adam & Eve--The Book of Enoch.

hmmm. I'll bet I have that somewhere in my brother's library too.

But one thing about insomnia, BS, & Pip?

I meet the NICEST people this way!

hugs jo

and yep I'm saying "goodnight gracie!"

(I think)

And I came back in to edit to thank you for the yummy compliments--I swear I have a problem about that--grumbling and shaking my head--I know I must appear to be ungrateful at times, but it's like I just gloss right over it, so thank, k?

sheesh.

NOW--grin, g'nite gracie!

iliana
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116 posted 2004-07-11 02:39 AM


G'nite, Gracie!  (I'm enjoying the show.)  And, you're most welcome.  *hugs*
serenity blaze
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117 posted 2004-07-11 03:31 AM


OH.

I'm sneaking back in to tell Chrislane that if she likes creamy potato salad--my sister, "twist" makes the best in the world.

She keeps it pretty simple too--she leaves out alot of the annoying "salad" part.

and oooh...now the Gnostic viewpoint of Mary Magdalene!

mindmunch time!

munch munch munch

(This is the part I missed.)

nite again, gracies.


iliana
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118 posted 2004-07-11 03:42 AM


I'm back for just a sec, too.  I want that recipe, Karen, oaky, please?........Wasn't that good about Mary -- I've known about all these writing and read most including the Gospel of Mary, but this show is very insightful!   and nitie night!
Mysteria
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119 posted 2004-07-11 04:41 AM


Yup I too want to see Eva's recipe for potatoe salad.  I am about to put down about 45 lbs. of dill pickles,and one of my recipes calls for chopped dill pickles in it.  Now there is a great idea, recipe exchanges.  Maybe a Passions Cookbook?

Well day 1 of my young "uninvited guest" went well but I think I tired her out.  She jumped up into my feather bed on the way back from a pit stop, and stayed there.  I went to see if she fell down the drain, and laughed when I saw her there sound asleep. That will teach her to want to play hopskotch with me, I was always good at that game.  Hah, wait until she sees her old Gramma with that hula hoop she brought. I guess I get the blow-up bed or the couch, as only a fool would share sleeping room with that one.  I would wake up all bruised from her trashing around.


Sunshine
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120 posted 2004-07-11 07:02 AM


Serenity, quit hitting “delete”.  Pretend that button isn’t there.  How in the world can you get feedback if you think it’s “stale”, feed it to the birds, and they fly off with it?  You’ve got to leave it up and on screen or on paper long enough for your editor [raising hand] to see it.  See?

Praise IS lovely – but who needs praise when we need honest reaction?  BUT WHEN YOU GET HONEST REACTION and it is GOOD….you cannot hit delete then, either.  You take it to yet a higher “power”, someone you would read 24/7 if given half the chance.  On my lunch hours I’ve been indulging in “Mr. Clemens and Mark Twain, a Biography” and wish he’d come back long enough to tell me where I’m going wrong.  [Chuckling…I think I know what he’d say…but that will be for a second book…]

“(I am the most extroverted introvert you'll ever meet.)”  Quit stealing my lines….or at least give me credit.  

“So last year I thought I'd try writing vignettes and then marrying them together to form a hopefully cohesive story. I confess I just couldn't get the thing to "weave" to my satisfaction.”  Honey…that’s basically how this novel started out, remember?  Maybe you don’t, but Mysteria does.  It was a little story…attached to a little story [just happened to have the same theme…] and it just GREW…  Rather like your journal has done.  Have you copied all of your posts on these two threads of journalism and jam them into word, just to see how many pages you’ve managed to write?  Geez….

So…as P.S. would say to F.F. – You know what you have to do…

~*~

Chrislane…if and when your tummy can handle it, write me, and I’ll send you a red potato recipe that you AND your hubby will love.  And quit fretting about those cute young things…you see, they’re going to reach YOUR age someday…it’s all fleeting….

~*~

Welcome home Kielo!

~*~

Serenity – What Iliana said…About Erma….

~*~

Iliana?  You have Mail…

~*~

Mysteria, your little grand one looks much like mine when it comes to taking over the bed.  And my gosh, from that photo, she looks like she’s grown a LOT….

Hugs all.  Off to see the new grandson today with friends, so that’s a trip to Hays [think of “Dances with Wolves”, and you’ve got the fort scenery of where we’re headed…]  So since it’s 6:00 a.m., I’ve got one hour to go through two chapters of re-write, one hour to get myself ready, and one hour to do piddly “stuff” around the house….

~*~

And yes, Serenity…one meets the Nicest People in your lovely garden…



garysgirl
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121 posted 2004-07-11 01:12 PM


Loved your report, Sharon.
And, Karen, I would love to hear yours and Mysteria's stand-up...or sit-down either one. Ya'll are two crazy ladies...but in a good "crazy" way.....and, ya'll are oh so lovable.

And, everybody else, hey, too.

Good to see you back Susan. Hope you had a good time.

Karilea, will be looking forward to the novel....and yours too, Karen...or whatever you decide to publish.

Liked your story, Alyssa. You are a good writer, too.

Chrislane, I've got a good potatoe salad recipe, too. That's a good idea, Sharon, about exchanging recipes. I love pickles of any kind, too. I used to can jars and jars of pickles, until I found out how much easier on my back it was to buy them. LOL Those that I canned sure were good though, especially the bread and butter ones and the red cinammon rings. The cinnamon ones taste like those red apple rings that you buy in the jar, only better. By the way, I love my cooking. If ya'll could see me you could tell. Now, my Mom is the one that can cook...and loves new recipes. She's always trying something new. Goodness, I'm getting hungry. Haven't eaten anything today yet.

Well, I'll see ya'll later. I've gotta go to get me something to eat. HeeHee!! Have a good day everybody.

Heart hugs.....   
Ethel Mae  

Nightshade
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122 posted 2004-07-11 02:03 PM


Thanks all of you for offering your surely mouthwatering potatoe salad recipes .... but it's not that I can't make one .... I can make a great potatoe salad as a matter of fact, just can't eat them anymore. Or anything with a creamy dressing !!  
Or onions, or red meats....blah blah blah. Yesterday I just forgot the rules and pigged out. Payin' for it today. Probably because I topped the night off with a Caramel Caribou icecream cone! Those darn antlered beasts sure can give ya a kick! Later gators!  

serenity blaze
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123 posted 2004-07-11 03:26 PM


Well see? Kari, that is all well and good, but your advice REEKS of DISCLIPINE. ("Kiss me first", yanno?)

I know, I know, I'm just self-indulgent, spoiled, lazy...none of these qualitites translate to "self-starter" either.

Another project that I'd toyed with was more of a journalistic slant. Having grown up here in New Orleans (am much as anyone in New Orleans CAN grow up) I've made friends with some unusual people of semi-fame status.
Frankie Ford, Clarence "Frogman" Henry, Irma Thomas, and Fats Domino. Sorta friends anyhow, but I'm welcome in their homes and enjoy a certain familiarity that the average person wouldn't. So I thought about the old writing advice "write what you know" and decided to give it a shot.

I told myself, "Karen, you know shorthand, own a mini recorder, have a digital cam and access, what more do you need?"

The first problem I enountered was that these folks are so accessible, that they've been interviewed ALOT. And if something bores me, it's poison. So I thought I'd just try it and see if I could accidently run into a new angle and hopefully a concurrent theme more interesting than the fact that they are all New Orleans icons.

k. I talked myself outta THAT problem.

Second? Journalism is a whole nutter type of writing. It's WORK. Quotes, citing sources and weaving facts with interest and humor is really tough. I gained new respect for reporters as I sorted through bio's. Not to mention one needs to be aware of the technicalities of the English language.

k. I know how to use a semi-colon. I took business English and some intro writing course in college. If all else fails, I can look it up, right? so I talked myself out of that roadblock too.

Then? I realized that I didn't have as much access as I thought. WE have access--meaning my husband and I. So I talked to him about it, and he said sure. But then, we just never got around to doing it. It just kept being put off. (I don't think he was comfortable with the idea of ME talking to HIS people.)

Then all this other stuff started happening. His illness, my illness, rennovations, etc.

But I have my notes packed in a bookbag, everything ready to go--should I get the opportunity to try that one again. But I swear, if he's not sick then I am...

sigh.

I've also been admiring Ron's "Martin & Martha" thread--thinking that I wouldn't mind doing that sort of thing too.

But then you see? I'm so easilty distracted.

Lotsa ideas, no follow ups...wah.



and smiles to jo too. I think I found me a buddy--we share many of the same interests m'friend.

Hugs all.

I need a cup of coffee.


serenity blaze
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124 posted 2004-07-11 04:10 PM


and Chrislane? I just tried the swim ring idea.

It worked!

For about 45 seconds.

Then?

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Sheesh.


Sunshine
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125 posted 2004-07-12 09:04 AM


Ok, all you grandmothers...say..."ahhhhh"....


Sunshine
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126 posted 2004-07-12 09:09 AM


And serenity?  I just read what I missed from yesterday.  So right, you are - I should not have said what works [or doesn't work] for me would be good for you.  To each their own, and to each one's own, in their own time...

What will happen, will happen.

It's just that I HAVE to make mine happen...because I deserve some happiness, and it will be the only way I can think of that will legitimately give me what I am looking for....

So...if you are inclined to kick me forward and on my way, more power to you...because I, too, know "distractions" and sometimes, they tend to take over, and I can't let that happen for a short while now.  I've got to take that next step.  And the signs I'm getting to "just do it!" keep mounting...

Which is a good thing.  

kayjay
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127 posted 2004-07-12 11:50 AM


That is an extremely beautiful child..thank you for sharing with us.  KJ  PS Good words about life that you give us too.  

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

iliana
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128 posted 2004-07-12 12:11 PM


What a gorgeous baby, Karilea!
Enchantress
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129 posted 2004-07-12 12:58 PM


He's just beautiful Karilea!!
Sunshine
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130 posted 2004-07-12 01:30 PM


This is my sixth, and hopefully, last, grandchild.  "Why," may you ask, "does she think that's enough?"

Because of the world we live in today.  It's going to take my one daughter with her three, every ounce of her will power to financially provide for hers.  Yes, she's married, but sometimes they get the cart before the horse, and God love 'em, as I know He does...they chose their moves, enacted upon them, and quite honestly, I know my daughter, and she'll survive.

One of my granddaughters is a "single child", although she has "two brothers" by a second marriage [albeit not blood brothers - and that second marriage has gone by the wayside.]  If her papa is smart the third time around, he'll see to it that she remains a single child - he's got enough on his hands with two ex-wives...

and as for this latest addition - with two babies just 18 months apart, and two very viable careers in their family - I think they, too, have enough on their hands.

Besides...

I'm running out of memory for any more names and birthdates...

Nightshade
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131 posted 2004-07-12 07:53 PM


ahhhh....beautiful child indeed.
Yes, my daughter is due to give birth to her third boy this October and I worry as well. Her hubby is a highschool teacher and my daughter works part-time in bookings for a world-wide hotel chain, but still, three children in this day and age....yikes. It is alot of money to feed and clothe them nevermind college etc. They had to purchase a second car and now are looking for a larger  home! Mmmmmm...still...the little one will be an added blessing to the family.
  Thankyou for sharing the pic Karilea!

Susan Caldwell
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132 posted 2004-07-12 09:15 PM


Speaking of babies (Kari~your grandson is adorable)...

Has anyone heard from Meg lately?

My daughter has her second OB appointment this Friday...time to hear the heartbeat..

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Sunshine
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133 posted 2004-07-12 10:11 PM


Thank you, kind ladies...

No, Susan, I haven't.  Let's ask...

Mysteria
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134 posted 2004-07-13 02:11 AM


Karilea, your little guy is adorable, and I see he's the kind of baby I love most, a sleeping baby

I am still getting sand out of places you wouldn't believe after talking my granddaughter to the oceanfront park today.  I am having an absolute blast with her - tomorrow is the Aquarium, and the park.  

Aenimal
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135 posted 2004-07-13 01:50 PM


Susan, Meghan is healthy and has another month or so to go before little Freyja is born.

Congrats Karilea

Sunshine
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136 posted 2004-07-13 02:22 PM


That's great news, Raph.  
Thank you so much for letting us know!

serenity blaze
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137 posted 2004-07-13 03:28 PM


Beautiful Kari!

So new and fresh and sweet.

sigh...I miss the little ones.

and your last grandchild?

grin...

that reminds me of a story...

Sunshine
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138 posted 2004-07-13 04:14 PM




Jeffrey Carter
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139 posted 2004-07-13 06:20 PM


So, when ya gonna tell it? God, I feel like such a voyeur just reading in here

I have enjoyed reading in the garden and getting to know all of you a little better.

Sunshine
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140 posted 2004-07-13 06:31 PM


Jeffrey, reading is wonderful...
sharing is better...

serenity blaze
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141 posted 2004-07-13 08:03 PM


My family and friends wonder and ask, what is my fascination with this internet thing.

As I stated a long time ago, my "addiction" got so bad once, that friends pulled an intervention.

They showed up at my house, unannounced, determined to put an end to my destructive habit.

"This has got to stop," they said. Then as the conversation progressed (as I still sat here typing btw) they asked me, "what is it that draws you to this?"

and I tapped on the screen and said, "But--there's people in there.

And people who know me by my inside out--FIRST. Some of the kindest most understanding and giving people I've ever met.

The bottom line is, I'm not so "weird" here.

(still weird, but just not as weird as the people who want to talk about the latest Judge Judy decision)

So I want to thank you all for being so kind to me.

And if I can "milk" the kindness a bit more?
(That's right Ronnie Baby, "Give 'em a cookie and they ask for a glass of milk") I've one more favor to ask.

While I'm away for this brief time, I have a theme I would like everyone to think about.

This is it:

All of us grew up with "family legend" stories--and I think most of us, as children, asked our parents about how we came into being. If you feel inclined, would you write a story about that for me? (If there's none regarding your conception/birth, any family legend story will do.)

I'd like to find some stories on my return...

Ronnie Baby? This means YOU. Nan? you too. PDV....well, if it strikes your fancy...and MYSTERIA for Goddess sake, I KNOW you have great stories--tell 'em to everybody please?
Raph, GG, Vicky, Nancylee, Chrislane, Maree, and gawd I wish Alicat and Not a Poet would indulge me as well.

I'll need some reading material.

(Hey--I figger if I can sit up on the couch, I can move that sucker over HERE, right?)

giggle.

Now I'm off to drink by broth.

and no, Vodka doesn't not qualify as a "clear liquid" on this particular diet.

I asked.

Thanks all and I love you bunches!



OH. And Jeffrey, Cpat Hair, icebox, Martie and 1slicklady, and, and, and...OH...JANET MARIE!!! and Kielo and...oh just EVERYBODY!



:sheesh:

Aenimal
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142 posted 2004-07-13 08:22 PM


Can't really think of a family legend. My brothers, sarcastic fiends that we are, did once create our own in response to our family's situation. We figured at some point in history some prick of an ancestor, on my dad's side of course, managed to cheat, spit on or offend a local witch(the moldy old one's from fairy tales not the hottie broth drinking n'awlins kind!) who hexed him and his children's children and their children's children too.

I, being the artist of the family, designed a family coat of arms which consisted of a black cat walking underneath a ladder with broken mirrors on each side. It still pops up from time to time when something goes wrong, we'll look at eachother 'the witch' or "what did that bastard do?!"

ahem..yeah

Well...it's not much of a story..but....(a la closing scene from Meaning of Life..phblllllt)

iliana
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143 posted 2004-07-13 08:59 PM


Take care, Karen.....I'll miss ya!  ....jo
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144 posted 2004-07-13 09:27 PM


We'll be right here Karen tending your garden for ya!

...and trying to make up...er, I mean tell ya our family stories.

You get done what has to be done and we'll be waiting to hear all about your experience, when you're up to it.

Love ya lady~

GG
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145 posted 2004-07-13 09:49 PM


Thank you everyone for the welcome in!

I'm still only around the house for brief periods of time, so I can't come in as much as I'd like. I need to move... I SO wish I was 18. Anyway, I'm still reading you all when I can, just forgive me for my lack of being here... please!

Karen, you'd better have stories written and ready for us when you get back up. You can crack us up with your humor... err, crack us up... hmm, actually, maybe you should stick with some stories to make us cry, or smile. Smiling is good. Yeah...


Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
                  Joyce kilmer

Janet Marie
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146 posted 2004-07-13 09:50 PM


KA?


     


  

Nightshade
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147 posted 2004-07-13 09:51 PM


Take care oh serene one.
We'll take good care of the place for ya...even though I have a hard time telling weeds from flowers sometimes. Your garden will be just fine. If anything goes awry it will be my sister's fault...hee hee heee

Luv Ya!! Chrislane

garysgirl
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148 posted 2004-07-14 12:01 PM


Hope you'll be doing good real soon, Karen,
and that everything comes out okay.
Behave yourself, okay?
Hugs, SereneOne  

Sunshine
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149 posted 2004-07-14 06:57 AM


Yea! She didn't mention me, so I don't have to do any homework...

K - take care of yourself.  I'll be MIA from Thursday afternoon until late Friday evening, most likely...taking Granddaughter Emily to KU Med Center for another pre-surgery test...

And I sure hope everyone does do their homework...

Susan Caldwell
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150 posted 2004-07-14 09:12 AM


Well, Karen, at least you won't get behind in your reading....lol

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Susan Caldwell
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151 posted 2004-07-14 09:14 AM


Oh and Raph? thank you!!  But I emailed Meg and she is so sweet!! She is indulging me a request and I can't thank her enough!  

Thank you Meg!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

serenity blaze
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152 posted 2004-07-14 06:18 PM


:waving:

I'm back--and I am fine (and I'm sure that will be confirmed by the lab, too) There was only one minor complication when the physician discovered that my husband's head been stuck up me arse for so long that his skin and mine actually grafted.




But as I said, I'm fine, and he only looks like he cut himself shaving.



To the couch before I get a yelled at.

Thanks all for keeping me company and for all the fun.

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153 posted 2004-07-14 08:48 PM


So glad to hear that you are fine Karen!
I wonder if it's true when my hubby says that my butt problems come from him spending so much time "blowing sunshine up my ass" .....oops, sorry, I didn't mean to say a bad word ...but it also stands for donkey..heee heee.
  Anywhooo, my darling hubby and I are off for a few days away starting tomorrow. Probably be back in a couple or three days. I cannot wait to see Georgian Bay and the magnificent escarpment once again. After finally finishing the kitchen remodelling, we both need a break. So, all of ya be good till I get back ya here?!!! Hugs, Chrislane

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154 posted 2004-07-17 04:13 PM


Hey!  

I can honestly say I've never been there!

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155 posted 2004-07-17 04:16 PM




Serenity’s Garden Party…

The sun shone bright and called to me
Whispering low, “Come; see Serenity,
A garden for poets and artists to eye,
Something that even may make you sigh.”



So I went to the compass for direction, and more,
And found some peace near heaven’s door.
I gazed at the benches and imagined the chatter
Of poets and friends, over various matters.



The Sun said, “Come, and stroll with me,
Just be quiet and see what you see…”
So can you imagine my child-like delight
To see the swallowtail come and alight…



With colors before me, my breath, it was taken ~
For too much stress leaves the body forsaken…
I’m glad I listened to sounds of the Sun
And thought of my poets, each, one by one…



And then Mr. Buckeye did the Cottoneyed Joe,
His partner then left, but he stayed on, so.
I winked at him and he posed for me,
And said, “Say Hi, to Serenity.”



Serenity surrounded me in whispered delight,
A garden she found, hence peace, this night;
And as for me, my poet friends…
Listen when  Sun says, “Come here, round this bend….”

serenity blaze
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156 posted 2004-07-17 04:42 PM


*beaming at you*

wow



thanks so much Kari, and where did the groovy pics come from?

and sorry if I'm weirder than usual--I've never cared for morphine but apparently it's the only thing that will keep me still.

I'll be "flying" through that garden for awhile, methinks. And yes, Mysteria, I'm going to go take that nap, I promise.

Hugs to all, and I'll write more soon.

I do love this place!


iliana
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157 posted 2004-07-17 04:52 PM


Glad to see you writing again, Karen.  Get some rest.   ........jo

Karilea - yes, where was this?  It sure is pretty!

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158 posted 2004-07-17 05:23 PM


Salina boasts a great number of Parks, small, medium, and large.  This was taken at Oakdale Park - the same park that hosts the RiverFestival...only sans 90,000 people.  Just the butterflies and me, and the thoughts of my poets and friends...

I was free and alone most of the day...so I got some sunshine time to do what I enjoy doing...

You could say that these were hot off the digital...

But I knew what I wanted, and the park didn't let me down for a moment...

Mysteria
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159 posted 2004-07-17 05:35 PM


Sunshine, such a very pretty garden,
For those that are able to sit.
But our poor Serenity has a problem,
That'll keep her standing for a bit.

We were on the phone thinking,
What could we do to soothe her pain,
It wasn't until after I hung up,
I got a good idea once again.    

She's bound to have a spare toilet,
Remodeling an extra house for sure,
Let’s fill it up with Epsom salts,
Softened by warm water that is pure.

Now that will help her swelling,
Heal her “shiney hiney” too.
Roll her computer up to that throne,
Now that’s what we should all do.

Serenity's
Shiney Hiney Sitz Throne





[This message has been edited by Mysteria (07-17-2004 07:03 PM).]

Enchantress
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160 posted 2004-07-17 07:10 PM



OMG Sharon!!  This is fantastic....Serenity will love it!
And I'm thinking I'd like to give it a go too!

serenity blaze
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161 posted 2004-07-17 08:33 PM


(sing to the tune of "Wouldn't it be loverly?"

"All I want is a "loo" somewhere
far away from the eyes that stare-
with Charmin waiting there
now wouldn't it be loo-verly?"

sheesh.



I'm a bit off my game folks.

sorry.

(and Sharon, how did I know you'd do somethin' like this??? )

too cute!

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162 posted 2004-07-17 09:04 PM


You're ALL priceless!
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163 posted 2004-07-17 10:15 PM


  and to carry on with your tune of "Wouldn't it be loverly" -

Lots of poetry for you to read
Lots of ointment that you might need
Hot tea, sweet treats, and gleeeeee ...
Oh wouldn't it be loverly?!!
I'm baaaaaaack!!

Mysteria
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164 posted 2004-07-18 02:37 AM


Ya'll are cute too!

Hey Chris, welcome back - hope you guys had fun?  You got here just in time for Serenity's potty pitty party.  Ah, all kidding aside, she is doing really darn good for someone who had surgery only on Wednesday.  When I was talking to her today, during the course of a long  conversation, she told me she had accomplished a task that is not near yet on her list of things to do   so I think she will indeed make it. Being a good friend and all, I told her how happy I was for her, sheesh! Must be that hot Cajun cooking down there you think?  Whatever it is at least all's well that ends well. Yuck, yuck.  For some reason Karen, I want to get up on stage with you and do a stand-up improv routine of one liners with any play on words relating to your current problem, so I am sitting on my hands.

serenity blaze
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165 posted 2004-07-18 03:00 AM


groan.

I should have known better than to tell you that.

Sheesh.

I consider myself lucky that "serenity blazes a bm" wasn't put in announcements with flashing lights and a brass band.

(Don't even think about it, you!)

(yer lucky yer cute! )

and Ronnie baby, I tried to change the subject--they were supposed to leave me stories about family legends!

Now I'll have to open a sub-category for "legendary family BM stories".

heh.



byeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

serenity blaze
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166 posted 2004-07-18 03:15 AM


and btw...I want to thank you all for joining in my madness. I tend to deal with stress with humor, and it wasn't intended to minimize anyone's battles with illness.

It didn't work either. The morning of my surgery I had a full blown anxiety attack.
They brought me to my room and I was supposed to change into one of those lovely gowns they provide--but I told my husband--

"fetch the truck and meet me out front"

"okay!" he said, "I'll go out the side you take the front.

sigh.

You got it.

He met me at the elevator instead with a male nurse armed with a syringe. But unfortunately for everybody involved my adrenaline was racing so bad it took about three more shots to knock me out. (The nurse told me later that I was talking clearly and quite lucidly giving her my recipe for snapbeans too.) That was the funny part.

The not-so-funny part was that my bloodpressure nose-dived to fifty because of all of the meds and they had to rudely shove a tube down my throat.

sigh.

(It would take a team of professionals to overdose me, huh?)

But the point of all this (I think) is that all surgery should be taken seriously.

And then there is the beautiful simplicity of the karma here--

See what can happen when you go through life being a pain the ass?

I live and learn.


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167 posted 2004-07-18 07:45 AM


If you're a pain, darlin'...I've got a bridge for you...

Now that I know you're up and about, I'll come back with a story, soon.  

[skipping off in search of some memory providing a "family legend..."]

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168 posted 2004-07-18 08:17 AM


Paternal Grandmother….a legend, of sorts…

Dad was the ninth of eleven children.  Over the years I’ve had occasion to look back and wonder on why some certain things just hadn’t been said about his family – I mean, he was close to his brothers and sisters, and I knew something of my Grandma Bess – but only very little – she had died shortly after I was born.  

The reason for so little background apparently stemmed from the bad memories my father carried.  Although – not even my mom knew all of them.

But one story I do remember dad telling me one Sunday morning, close to a particular spring day, while he was making his wonderful pancake batter, and showing me how to “stretch ‘em out…”

Dad had learned to cook, bake, sew, and many other “female accomplishments”, all in accordance to life on a South Dakota Farm.  This of course was in addition to the male responsibilities a young man picks up in a large family.

And apparently Grandma Bess knew how to stretch a pancake.  My father’s understanding of “fat” pancakes only came about once.  You see, he made the best thin pancake – you could consider it a fat “crepe” I imagine…but for some reason, the thinner, the better…

And the first time I had a “real restaurant” pancake was the first time I couldn’t see my way through them.  The thicker a pancake, the more it seemed to be like warm squishy dough – so to this day, if I can’t fix ’em like my grandmother taught my dad….then I just don’t eat pancakes outside of my own house.

But apparently, it had come about at a time in my dad’s life when he was a young man still at home, that this man had come by one Sunday, and offered to help the boys with some morning chores in exchange for breakfast.  Breakfast on Sundays generally featured Grandma Bess’ wonderful pancakes in addition to other farm-style dishes – sausage gravy and biscuits, or just biscuits with butter and homemade jelly – eggs anyway you wanted them, fried potatoes, applesauce, sausages and bacon, etc.

But this man had heard of grandma’s pancakes, so he always seemed to show up of a Sunday morning, early, to help with chores, and to get an invite to the family table.

Well, that was fine – it was common back then to offer food for chores – and times were hard, drifters were plenty.  But this fellow, Jake, didn’t want to drift too far, it seemed, and worked his way around the neighborhood of farms, always managing to come back on Sunday to Grandma Bess’ door.

Well, he apparently did pretty good, putting food away.  His one comment, though, was that while they were “mighty good!”, he did say once that the pancakes were a bit on the thin side.  He wondered why they weren’t thicker, like a good pancake should be?  Knowing my Dad like I did, I can just see Grandma staying silent, grating a little on the inside, and then raising one eyebrow, as she began making plans…for

The following Sunday happened to be April 1.

Ahem.

Grandma thought she’d do the old drifter, Jake – who of course was expected to come by the next day – a big favor, and fix his pancakes just a little more on the thick side.  She found what she needed, and prepared for his arrival the next morning.

Jake came in that Sunday morning with an armful of wood, ready for her stove.  Dad remembers he could barely retain his smile, for he had seen what his mom had been working on the night before.  His younger sisters had been in bed, so they weren’t prepared for anything amiss.  His remaining older brothers who were still at home hadn’t seen the preparations, either, so the “joke” was known only to Dad and his mom, and he figured he could help her a tad, in making sure that the drifter’s meal was offered up just to him.

Grandma winked as small talk filtered through the room, discussions of the upcoming planting of corn and such, when the wheat would be harvested that year, while Grandma prepared three fat pancakes for Jake.  Dad recalls what a huge grin the old guy wore when he saw his plate heaped with steaming hot pancakes fixed special for him.  He looked around – everyone else was serving up those thin, crepe-like cakes, just like normal.  He must have wondered if he was making headway – heck, he must have even been thinking that they’d probably hire him on for the summer chores, with such special treatment as he was receiving.

Well, that April 1 was the last time anyone saw old Jake.

At first, he couldn’t quite understand why his fork didn’t cut through the pancakes.  He took his butter knife, and that wasn’t much help, either.  He finally shoveled a small wedge of cakes onto his fork, but when he went to chew – it took a long time to get that first bite down.  It seemed, Dad related, that he was chewing forever on those “thick” cakes.

You see?  Grandma Bess had spent the night before cutting out three round “cakes” from a paper bag.  The following morning, she made her batter as usual, thinning anyone’s regular pancake recipe down with some water…but after putting the first pouring down, she slipped in her paper cake, then added some more batter to the top of the disk.

Jake got his thick cakes….and Grandma had the last laugh!

Mysteria
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169 posted 2004-07-18 01:41 PM


(It would take a team of professionals to overdose me, huh?)

Now that's my Karen!  My response is in your email, LOL, we are definitely destined to become the next Laurel and Harty m'thinks.

iliana
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170 posted 2004-07-18 02:39 PM


Karen -- you're beginning to sound like your old self.  Gooood.  Now, I guess I'll sit back and wait for that duet with Sharon.  

Sunshine...that pancake trick sounds like something my mom would've done on April 1 if someone had been complaining about her food.....couldn't help but grin and enjoy!  

Chris -- glad you're back; hope it was fun!

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171 posted 2004-07-19 12:08 PM


iliana - thanks, yes it was fun. The scenery is beautiful and the air so fresh. But, it wasn't as much fun as visiting my sister Enchantress today...well, yesterday now I guess it was. You see, my birthday was in April....her's is in August, and so we just meet in the middle(not really the middle..but you understand ) and give each other goodie bags. Seems the two of us always gift each other with fairies. Both of our homes are overflowing with them now, but that's a good thing.
  Then of course we laugh so much we almost pee our pants..LOL.   I just wish all of us here at Pip could get together in person and share some giggles and maybe a few tears as well. Nancy Lee and I luv ya all and hugs would be a must!
   Karen...this journal means so much to myself and Enchantress......we couldn't believe the long forgotten family stories it has brought forth. Maybe we will share a few sometime....you know how kooky we are by now anyway.    Hugs, Chrislane

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172 posted 2004-07-19 06:48 AM


Ah Chris...we're sure the stories will flow from both you and Enchantress...

in fact, a "duet" story would be MOST appropriate...and appreciated!

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173 posted 2004-07-19 10:07 AM


Karilea - yes, stories...to give our Serene One some smiles while she rests up. That would be just ducky  .... ducky?!!! Now, that is a lead in to a story if I ever heard one.
  Seems that our father used a live duck in one of his magic tricks. "Donnie" as this feathered friend was named became just another member of the family. Oh, what a family. He had free roam of my grandmother's house - where at the time we were living. Not a farm mind you, but in the city. My memory is quite vague on Donnie as I am the younger sister, so I will leave the rest of the story to Nancy Lee. She was quite attached to this quacker so I am told.
  Chris makes a quick exit stage left

Sunshine
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174 posted 2004-07-19 10:18 AM


Well, when the two of you are done with your duck-tale... ...I have a duckie story too...
Enchantress
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175 posted 2004-07-19 11:47 AM


Oh Chris, why did you have to bring up Donnie?

I guess you could have chosen to tell about 'Slim', his monkey, the unicycle and the chili.

Gawd how I loved that little feathered friend.  We had him from the time he left the womb, um, nest...

You see, Donnie was no ordinary duck.  Donnie was house broken.  A special flap was made in the back door for Donnie to go outside, whenever nature called.  Otherwise he lived in the house.  

Had his own place set at the table, played fetch like a dog..and when Chrislane came along and was crying in her crib he would run..okay, waddle, as fast as he could and stand beside her and quack as loud as possible to draw our mother's attention.

He also had a bad habit of trying to follow me to school..not unlike Mary's lamb.  I was late more often then not because I had to take him back home.  Try explaining to a teacher how you had to take your duck home!!

Donnie was loved and grew tall and beautiful.  When he was produced 'magically' onstage he would stand as high and proud as he could and spread those beautiful white wings when the audience would 'oooh' and 'ahhh'.

He did love his snacks though.  Our grandmother would have garden parties with the ladies in for tea and those tiny sandwiches made with pastel coloured bread.  Donnie was very clever and quick to grab these sandwiches straight off the gals plates as they were admiring our grandmother's flower garden, or had turned for a minute to chat with another guest.  They never said anything..just looked at one another curiously.

The years went on and Donnie continued to grow and grow, until he was too large to perform onstage.

*sigh*

We had an Aunt Flossie who had a farm just outside of town..and it was decided that's where Donnie would go to 'retire', to live out his golden (egg) years.

Now you have to understand that Chrislane and I took every word our Dad said as gospel.

*sigh*

Soooo...when I asked Dad one day how Donnie was doing on the farm, he replied.  "Last I saw of him Nancy Lee, he was running off to play with the fox in the woodlot."  I truly truly believed Donnie was waddling off to play happy as a lark, I mean duck, to enjoy his golden years with his new found friend.

Can you believe my sadness when this summer..the summer of 2004, after relating this story to a dear friend, he looked at me and said, "That's a wonderful story, but do you recall having duck for dinner anytime shortly after Donnie was taken to the farm?"

All these years I had pictured Donnie running off happily with the fox, to quack and play happily everafter.

Okay...that's the story of Donnie...
excuse me as I waddle off to get some tissue... Quack....quack

[This message has been edited by Enchantress (07-19-2004 12:46 PM).]

scorpio
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176 posted 2004-07-19 12:55 PM


I won't mention duck l'orange.

believe in what your heart feels...

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177 posted 2004-07-19 02:23 PM


Well...Sarah never came in the house, she was a sort of lawn mower at my Grandparents house, with the biggest, most  beautiful eyes you ever saw.  She came to their house as a baby and got bigger and bigger too like your duck Nancy Lee.  Gramma would milk her and we could make whipping cream from the top of that milk, and too this day I can't stand store milk!  All the kids loved her, fed her, rode her, watched her grow.  However like kids, we didn't do what we were supposed to, and that was keep her away from the vegetable patches.
  We were all warned (there were 9 cousins that hung around that house being babysat, plus me.) Being kids we didn't realize it was as big a problem as my grandparents did.  That garden it turned out was shared with everyone and helped out those that couldn't afford fresh veggies.  I just remember watching my Gramma canning stuff all summer long. (I thank her for teaching me that and still do it today.)  

Well...Thanksgiving rolled around and there we sat in our Sunday best at my Gramma's big old table, and I mean big as it sat my Dad, and his brothers and sisters numbering 10, and all their kids too, and I had 14 cousins all together.  My Grampa brought out the most awesome roast of beef, (the kind you see at buffets yanno?) and started carving it up onto our plates.  It tasted so good, we had not had beef for a long, long time.  Joey, my cousin said, "Well at least we can get to the gardens now without stepping on cowpies."     As God is my witness, I threw up so badly it shot clear down to my Grampa and landed in front of his plate!  I ran upstairs into the 3rd floor bathroom, locked the door and would not come out for hours, just crying and crying.  Now this is true, I just started eating beef again maybe only about 8 years ago, and I still think of Sarah and remember those eyes.         As a matter of fact - Kacy's daughter Sarah has the same big brown eyes, and when she was here I went on a no beef campaign for a while again.  Let's face it - how may vegetables do you get to know that personally?  Well there is my cow story as promised Nancy Lee.


The Cow Tail Of Sarah

Enchantress
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178 posted 2004-07-19 02:33 PM


"Well at least we can get to the gardens now without stepping on cowpies." As God is my witness, I threw up so badly it shot clear down to my Grampa and landed in front of his plate!"

Oh my Sharon!!!  That's even worse than my Donnie duck story!! At least I don't recall eating him!  How horrible for you!

Thanks so much for coming in here and sharing that cow tail, er, tale.

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179 posted 2004-07-19 02:49 PM


Awww Sharon, that was a truly "mooooving" story. And that's no bull. Sorry, must be this pain I have been experiencing in my "calves". I better be good or my sister will "tan my hide." Luv Ya!
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180 posted 2004-07-19 04:08 PM


Yuck yuck you two!  You "moooooove me" to tears.
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181 posted 2004-07-19 04:12 PM


Funny stuff Chris!  Can you people imagine the two of us when we get together??

Anyway..I ran back in here to tell you what just happened, so I don't have to type this again, cause I know my sister will read in here.

I just had my own wet T-shirt contest and guess who won??

Moi!  Of course...since I was the only one in it!!  

I was watering outside when a bulge I had been watching...in the hose ladies!..started to get bigger and bigger...I don't know why but I was frozen on the spot, mesmerized as I watched this section of rubber starting to expand to a giant beach ball sized bulge!!

This water spewing snake had taken on a life of it's own!!

Knowing full well it was just a matter of seconds before it would explode you would think I would run, turn the water off, throw the hose across the yard...anything!!

But oh no!!  I had to stand there and watch it blow and take the full force of water!!

Soaked!!  Soaked I tell ya!  From head to toe!!

What embarrasses me the most?

All the neighbourhood kids could see my hanging baskets.   

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182 posted 2004-07-19 04:17 PM



serenity blaze
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183 posted 2004-07-19 04:18 PM


I've just realized something that I never knew before.

Did ya'll know how tight the anus contracts when ya laugh???

(Trust me)

*snort*

It hurts so good....

reading and trying not to laugh too hard.

I love you ladies!

and now I'm craving thin pancakes, a glass of milk, and I'll prolly have strange dreams about a dancing duck.

Sheesh.

Ya'll are the best!

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184 posted 2004-07-20 08:28 AM


"hanging baskets"....

Oh geez.....

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185 posted 2004-07-20 10:23 AM


My sister is exaggerating.
"They're" not as big as baskets.

Enchantress
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186 posted 2004-07-20 01:04 PM


And "they" are not hanging either!


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187 posted 2004-07-20 01:24 PM


Ya sure ...Let's see?

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188 posted 2004-07-20 02:05 PM


Uh oh .... I'm in now!  Hee hee hee.
Nightshade
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189 posted 2004-07-20 02:09 PM


...and anyway Miss FancyNancyPantsy I quote you here..
"I guess you could have chosen to tell about 'Slim', his monkey, the unicycle and the chili."

Well, I happen to know that Donnie our duck did not have a monkey named Slim that road a unicycle into the chili. You have the story all wrong - so there!

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190 posted 2004-07-20 02:17 PM


(chuckling)

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (07-20-2004 03:09 PM).]

Sunshine
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191 posted 2004-07-20 02:26 PM


Now if that doesn't sooth all...
serenity blaze
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192 posted 2004-07-20 02:35 PM


Serenity rushes in and SAVES that before it disappears!


Enchantress
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193 posted 2004-07-20 02:47 PM


Thank you Captain..
Your words even made my blossoms take notice.
Now may we just drop my hanging baskets?

Chris?
Perhaps you would like to tell the next story?
And stop asking me to push on on that dang swing!

Ser!  
We all love ya...now get back to the couch!

Sunshine
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194 posted 2004-07-20 02:53 PM


*smiling*...sometimes a witch has got to do what a witch has got to do...

LOL...

save away....

Nightshade
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195 posted 2004-07-20 03:10 PM


Oh, Cpat., that was wonderful. Even made my over-ripe peaches yearn to climb back up on the branch.  
  I will behave now  .... for awhile.
It's too hot to think about blazing chili and an entertainer friend who stood his wife on an electrified, metal plate with a lightbulb in her mouth. And as for the monkey, I don't remember him, just something very dark, very large chained in their basement. Something that made our mother climb frantically up onto the back of their couch in fear. Oh, and our friend taking a 20 pound turkey out of the freezer for his wife to cook up "immediately" for us. We didn't eat it did we? Oh gawd....it's so hot....memories are whirling.
   Karen didn't mean to hog your journal. This is the way my sister and I get in the summertime. Hmmmm....actually every season. Bye ya'll. Time for some lemonade. Anyone care to join me?  

Cpat Hair
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196 posted 2004-07-20 03:16 PM


Chris... ripe fruit is sweetest...


serenity blaze
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197 posted 2004-07-20 03:23 PM


it's too soon to think about blazing chili--PERIOD.

*wince*




Enchantress
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198 posted 2004-07-20 03:24 PM


Hee hee...now I have the giggles.
Baskets of over ripe peaches come to mind...
Lordy it's so hot!
Yes Chris, I'll join you...
You know what to put in mine.  


Sunshine
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199 posted 2004-07-20 03:31 PM


I'll have what NancyLee is having...
Cpat Hair
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200 posted 2004-07-20 03:37 PM


chuckling....

all this talk about peaches..and baskets.. I better go play someplace you ladies can't throw things at me...

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (07-20-2004 05:00 PM).]

Enchantress
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201 posted 2004-07-20 03:45 PM


I love it!!

Quick Serenity click SAVE!!

serenity blaze
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202 posted 2004-07-20 03:49 PM


*click* zzzzzzzzip


Nightshade
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203 posted 2004-07-20 04:21 PM


Oh my! blush Saving this!
Where did I put that pitcher of lemonade?
Oh yes....silly me. Right beside my peach pie.

Enchantress
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204 posted 2004-07-20 04:23 PM


Chris...You'd better make mine a mint julep!
Decaflame
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205 posted 2004-07-20 04:42 PM


The things I do to stay in character...

Texas Silhouette

He had flown in, hot and dry,
painting deserts with a
Gila monster tail,
his thoughts outracing
tumbleweeds in a sand storm,

just like she remembered.

He stood now, bared chest and
bluejeans-lanky

at her window, absently minding
the lace between thumb and
forefinger,
staring.

She wondered how far
his horizons would take him,
this next time,
minus ten and counting.

She moved a strand of red hair
back from her cheek,
great green bedroom eyes shining,
and asked,

“breakfast?”

“Yeah,” he drawled,

“peaches, and cream.”

~*~

From the archives...

Enchantress
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206 posted 2004-07-20 06:04 PM


Oh gawd!!  Deca sizzles...and I'm saving this one too!

serenity blaze
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207 posted 2004-07-20 06:08 PM


Smug smile.

I already had it.

neener neener neener


Nightshade
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208 posted 2004-07-20 07:52 PM


Shooooweeee....if it gets any hotter in here....I'll melt! Snatchin' up that "flamin' good" write.
I'm going down to the bay to look at all of the beautiful sailors....hee hee....I mean sailboats.

GG
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209 posted 2004-07-20 09:59 PM


I much prefer pickles and cream.

uhm...
I mean...

hehe.




Sunshine
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210 posted 2004-07-20 10:21 PM


Seren?

who you neenering?

serenity blaze
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211 posted 2004-07-20 10:32 PM


Um...can't I just neener myself when I feel like it?

IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN DO MUCH ELSE RIGHT NOW!!!

er...

oh.



heh heh?

sorry.

just a teensy testy....

*ahem*

I'm fine now.

Ya'll continue on...


Sunshine
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212 posted 2004-07-20 11:18 PM




Ah, my girl.  If you knew what I was doing right now, you'd probably do one of two things.

1)  You'd have a heart to heart with me and tell me honestly, [after reading tea leaves and such] that (a) I'm going after a dream; {b) I'm trying to please everyone else; or (c) do it anyway.

2)  OR

3)  Say, "it's about time."

Truthfully?

I am really not sure what you would say.  I could say, check your e-mail, but that would keep you up longer than you need to be.  So maybe I will say that tomorrow.

Just know....

PS is making a break for the future.

And if that doesn't give you something to smile about, than nothing I can say, will.

nakdthoughts
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213 posted 2004-07-21 10:15 AM


Karen, I hope you are recuperating well... I missed your entertaining thoughts but am trying to catch up.


M

serenity blaze
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214 posted 2004-07-21 06:28 PM


First I'm going to give Maureen a hug.



You're a class act, my friend, and a lovely spirit as well.

and Kari? I checked my e mail...not a clue, either. And btw? While I was on morphine? I had a dream about your husband.

I'll tell when you tell.

*chuckle*

Sunshine
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215 posted 2004-07-21 07:25 PM


You poor thing.  As for my e-mail to you, tomorrow isn't over ... just yet.  
Janet Marie
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216 posted 2004-07-21 08:00 PM


KA? those drugs should at least let ya dream bout Steven Tyler.

Hey groovy gals and guys...
I just wanted to peek in and say hey...
its been another crazy day of house hunting in the heat... the house we reaaaaaally wanted sold.

So we're back on the street cruisin the "for sale" signs. LOL


I'll be reading all that I've missed in here later, best bedtime stories in town on this thread.

But I just wanted to take a break from all the crazy that is my mothy life lately to say hi and love ya all...and see if KA is behaving while healing.

You all have a grooooooovy evening *S*



serenity blaze
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217 posted 2004-07-21 08:15 PM


Hmmm...

Suddenly I'm in the mood for some Grateful Dead...



Jan baby? You'll know "home" when you see it!
It just works out that way.

and Kari? I'm going to have to use that begging smilie Kit made for me, to beg her for a smilie with a zipper mouth!

*chuckle*

and oh Cap...if I were king of the forest? I would revoke your editing privelages!

and btw, I went to the doc today, and it felt so nice to have a man look at my behind today and say "Lookin' Good!"



I do, I do love this place!


Sunshine
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218 posted 2004-07-21 08:46 PM


Ah shoot...buttons bustin' here...four years ago I wrote this...

Casey Joy
7 May 2000

You first came to be as a sweet whisper
in your mother’s soul
your father, though a person complete
realized you and became whole.

A promise you were, a thought wished
came to be from your parents’ kiss.

Ne’er for a moment, did either one imagine
just how precious you’d be, in your fashion;
whole and healthy you came to be
a mere presence, you created revelry.

A promise you were, a thought wished
came to be from your parents’ kiss.

Now know you, in your loving heart
the joy your precious name imparts;
into love, with love, your parents’ eyes shine
May God Bless thee, May God bless thine.

Love,

Auntie


In today's mail, look what I got...





That Rilling smile sure stays in the family...

nakdthoughts
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219 posted 2004-07-22 06:14 PM


An adorable Casey, Karilea...

~~~~~~**~~~~~~

I still haven't cried my tears for her...
not sure when the time will come,
but the other day, I was gettting gas...and
was very relaxed after my short beach vacation,
I saw a man with a Papa John shirt on across from me
so I was asking him why we didn't have one near us...just making
conversation and explaining some directions to him
when someone towing a boat got impatient
and asked him to move along so he could get in....
it aggravated me as I talked under my breath to myself
while going into the station to make my payment.

I came back and opened my back door to
take off a temporary registration paper from the window
( finally 3 months later my permanent one arrived)
when someone honked their horn several times( pretty much making me jump
since they were next to me when they did it)
while I was stretching in the back of my car.
I guess he couldn't wait the 2 seconds it would take me
to close the door for him to get past me or
he couldn't go around the other side
like I had to because my tank is on the passenger side...


and he was in a hurry to "fill up".

I barked back "why don't you just honk your horn"
(sarcastically, which is not normally me)
and he replied stupidly  "I did"
I guess my face showed I was upset so he said
"Take it easy, hon, it's a beautiful day" and I let him pass
but shouted back, "don't call me hon!"...a Baltimore thing

Anyway..he was upset that I was upset and wouldn't shut up...
I could feel road rage rising in me...damn Marylanders, I almost wanted to say
but didn't since I am from there, too...but  that's what everyone always says
around here in Southern PA..where we are really laid back...and
the reason most move here.

And all I could do was replay it all the whole way driving north
and I couldn't understand why it bothered me to the point of tears..
Guilt, I felt guilty getting the man upset..I figured
I ruined his day by my attitude and he ruined mine
making me feel bad about it...

anyway...I couldn't stop the tears over such a dumb thing...

Sunshine
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220 posted 2004-07-22 06:19 PM


  Maureen, this is the backwash of stress.  And honey, your emotions have been pulled tighter than sheets on a line on a summer day...

You could have bitten your tongue, but it would have only drawn blood.  

With all that's gone on in your life in these last few months, you were indeed "quite civil"...and honey?  For that, you are quite the lady.

Sunshine
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221 posted 2004-07-22 06:21 PM


Ice Princess

There is, sometimes, a grave misconception when one deals with outward appearances.  Like any book, we don’t know if a person is good or bad until we crack open their cover, just like a book, and giving it more than a swift perusal.  Sometimes, even the first couple of pages won’t be enough to generate interest – neither will be the first few sentences one might utter.

That is, those first few sentences will come, if you can get past their shyness.

As a point of fact, I tend to raise one eyebrow when intently listening to one’s story.  I am generally the one who sits back, letting others “spill”, asking key questions to keep them going, and because of that first-time meeting reserve that is felt, and usually because I’m in the company of, oh, let’s say, my spouse…my reserve is usually even set higher.

So thought some friends.  After a decade of time spent together when those chances come, these friends mentioned to me that among my spouse’s other friends, it was once spoken [read, conjectured] that my spouse had married an “ice princess”…and that certainly caught me off guard.

And my shyness and self-esteem took a deep nosedive.

These friends were quick to mention that over the years, the “true me” had taken occasions to shine through.  At times, they could see that I am far from the perceived persona they had first come to know through brief visits.

But although words can only hurt us if we allow them to fester, the comment stayed with me these last few months.  True, when in deep concentration or listening intently to others, my left eyebrow still raises upward…some things like that MUST be genetic…but I have also learned to adopt to some things that others do as a matter of fact…

Like today.

Today, I lowered the windows in my car, drove through the 85 degree temperatures with the humidity in the 60’s, and achieved some quite un-ice-princessy “air-hair.”

The ice princess is melting.

[Serenity…albeit a few posts belated, this is my 47,000th special post for your garden…]

serenity blaze
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222 posted 2004-07-22 06:26 PM


For Maureen:

One night, on our way home from a show (concert) my husband was drunk and the way he drove was proof enough. Now I don't drive, and besides, I had been at the same show matching him drink for drink anyway.

But we were arguing because he insisted on stopping for yet another beer at an all night convenience store.

I was steaming. As I sat there in the car, a guy pulled up right next to us parking so close he nearly blocked my door. He got out and I looked up and gave the passenger such a look of hatred it still chills me with shame.

I was shocked and shamed further when she broke into tears.

I looked at her and mouthed, "Are you okay?"

She just nodded, tears streaming.

I wondered then if she was in the same predicament.

*  *  *

Maureen? Don't sweat it. We're all just blindly fumbling around in the dark for a match.

You are a good person who's had a rough time, and I'll bet that guy understood that. And if he didn't?

Sadly, someday he will.



(Kari sneaked by me)

I go read now...

serenity blaze
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223 posted 2004-07-22 06:30 PM


and Kari? Men like that tousled look. They associate it with um, let's say...satisfaction.


nakdthoughts
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224 posted 2004-07-22 06:30 PM


  and thanks Karilea...

I was born feeling guilty and hate when I feel someone is upset with me or because of me...and  the morning had been beautiful until that happened

M

Susan Caldwell
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225 posted 2004-07-28 08:09 AM


This has been sitting, unattended for too long...

I wish I had something clever to say or a good story to tell.  Truth is I don't tell a good story.  But that is okay because there are so many on here that do.  

Karen?  Joni is almost mine....5 hours to go..

and I am still trying to figure out the meaning of the canary...*sigh* sometimes I can be so slow...

Someone tell a story....



Sunshine
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226 posted 2004-07-28 10:10 AM


"Joni is almost mine - 5 hours to go"...

~*~

Seems like there's a story to tell right there, Susan....

please?

Nightshade
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227 posted 2004-07-28 10:19 AM


Susan, I agree! A journal so full of heart as this, should not be left to gather dust. Unlike my brain, which due to some sort of bug I have picked up in this unpredictable Ontario weather, is ummm...resting.
  Now, what's this about a canary? I'll have to go back and reread some threads. I had a canary once, his name was Sheldon. Wouldn't open his peeper for love nor money for the longest time. Then all of a sudden one day, he just broke into song and refused to shut up. Finally, I just gave him to my grandmother who had a way with her English accent and abrupt manner(she was only 4ft. 10 inches if that), was able to silence Sheldon with a quick "that's enough of that!!"  Tweet Tweet Tweeee!!
  Anyway, yes, someone ... it's story time .. or even some venting would be fine. Speaking of fine ... how is everyone? Able to "shake your booty" now Karen? Oh, my aching head. Tylenol please. Toodles, Chris

Nightshade
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228 posted 2004-07-28 10:21 AM


Good Lord! I just realized that my story about Sheldon sounded as if my dear grandmother had "done him in."
No, no....ha ha haaaa. He would just stop singing is all. Oh, off to the couch with me. tsk tsk.

Susan Caldwell
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229 posted 2004-07-28 10:40 AM


LMAO

no story at all...
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=4026251524&ssPageName=ADME:B:BN:US:1


Sunshine
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230 posted 2004-07-28 11:45 AM


Well, that's one way of getting out of writing a little story...So...there's got to be a Joni story - an old beau and a song that matched your steps? C'mon...give it up!
Susan Caldwell
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231 posted 2004-07-28 11:56 AM


LOL nope I swear...

I kept hearing about Joni Mitchell and thought...well, let me see what all the hub is about and now I am hooked..

Karen told me to get this CD and I couldn't find it anywhere...ENTER EBAY

EBAY ROCKS!!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Mysteria
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232 posted 2004-07-28 01:30 PM


Susan...I am an eBay junkie, put a higher bid on that CD - your competition is waiting until the last minute to steal it from you.  Either that or wait until 56 seconds left, and bid $10.03 always put a few cents over the dollar as they will be $10.00 or $10.01       Tell you what, I will watch from the sidelines, and scoop it for you if I think she is coming in to take it.

Ask Karen, I can talk to her and bid on stuff at the same time, and still win - it is all in the last minute trust me!

Susan Caldwell
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233 posted 2004-07-28 01:34 PM


Sharon~

LOL thanks....I have $10.00 on it.  But I feel better with you watching as well...

thanks!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Mysteria
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234 posted 2004-07-28 01:36 PM


Watching     See, you have to push re-fresh all the time to keep current too.  However, she is a first time bidder too, which means she could not really care about winning.  Either way, we will scoop it!  Got Karen honking barefoot sandals last week  

YEAH!  Susan won!

Susan Caldwell
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235 posted 2004-07-28 01:41 PM


LOL

She is all mine!!!

Thank you for watching!!

Mysteria
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236 posted 2004-07-28 01:49 PM


Susan, It is a "sport" and the numbers after your name show how much you play the game I guess.  You had a "1" and I have "536"   I just love that ebay but it is only good for the buyer.  A seller doesn't make a lot on there by the time ebay and paypal take their fees.  I shop there for shoes and clothes a lot for myself and the kids, plus small antiques for the house, and it is great for electronics, and music.  Like any other thing done in excess it can become an addiction, so I am currently in my own personal version of "Ebay Anonomyous" LOL.
Susan Caldwell
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237 posted 2004-07-28 01:58 PM


I had an account years ago, but hadn't used it.  So I started a new account a couple of weeks ago..

I got an oil painting and this CD so far...

I don't play on it much so I don't think I will be detoxing from it anytime soon...lol

The sport of it I get..lmao..it is too fun!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Sunshine
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238 posted 2004-07-28 02:13 PM


Now that Joni is officially yours, Susan...we're all waiting for a story...
Mysteria
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239 posted 2004-07-28 03:02 PM


To give you a bit of a base background, my son’s Father was Bill Edmondson, the drummer for the Squires, which was “Neil Young and the Squires”, a band that existed from late 1962-1965, in Winnipeg, Manitoba.  The band dismembered in ’65 and Neil went back to Toronto to be with his Dad, Scott and formed a band called, “The Mynahs. “

When Todd (my son) was born in 1965, Neil was chosen to be Todd’s Godfather, and at the church service some 39 years ago he sang him a song he wrote for him.   Boy, time flies.

So…I promised you a Joni Mitchell/Neil Young story so here is a little one from Nov. 1965.  We were living in the attic of this huge house on Wentworth Street in Winnipeg, and the band as they always did, came back to our house to jam as they would after any gig.  I had just had Todd a few weeks before, and he was still in a crib, (we didn’t have all those fancy contraptions back then,) so I stayed home that particular night, and the guys came back after they played.

This was a HUGE 4 story house and you walked up what seemed forever to get to our attic, which they had turned into an awesome suite.  I just loved that place with its curved and angled ceilings, funny little windows, corridors, and spaces etc.  Below us lived old Mr. Thompson, who was deaf, so it worked out great for the guys to practice at any hour until the lady on the main floor walked up to stop them if it woke her.  Bill, (my husband) had two sets of drums, one was always kept in Neil's hearse, Mort, and one in our living room, so he didn't have to lug them upstairs.  Neil's old gal, (his guitar,) was always over his back wherever he went.

This particular night they had played a club called, "The Fourth Dimension," a kind of beatnik coffeehouse out by the university and drive-in that got a lot of students.  Well…Bill it seemed had brought home just about every performer that worked that night.  Those were the days you got to see several bands or entertainers at one shot.  It was great! However, this was now after 1 in the morning, and I had a new baby.  My clean living room was full of people wishing to jam all night so it seemed, opening up bottles of beer, instruments, and moving pillows to the floor!  I was not in the mood.  I hauled Bill aside and told him to get them out of there and NOW!  Just as we were arguing in the kitchen I heard Neil singing with someone, and told Bill to shush!  They were singing that song I heard a girl sing out at the university rally, that new folksinger, I forgot her name, but I liked her.  I never liked Neil's voice much LOL to be honest, and I looked out and sure enough there was Joni Mitchell, (her real name is Anderson), standing and singing Big Yellow Taxi with Neil.  She married someone that year actually named Mitchell, and she and her daughter moved to Michigan. I had heard she gave her daugther up for adoption, but then they "found" each other so that was good to hear.  I got to see them sing that song again in 1977 live on stage J  She released that song about five or six years later, I think around 1970 or 71, and I bet there are not too many people don’t know it some 40 years later.

So many famous songs were written on our old floor on Wentworth Avenue, many of Neil’s are still being sung today by him and other artists.  (I mean on the floor with a pen as well as being written there.)  Gosh, so many of those “kids” made it to the big time that sat in our living room like Randy Bachman, Burton Cummings.  I often wonder what happened to a lot of those musicians, and singers.  Lots of great talent out of Canada we can sure all be proud of that is for sure.  

I often wonder now if I have been a different type of person back then, and not been so uptight, I bet I could have had a ton of fun.  I tried to mix the corporate world with the music world, and it was like oil and water in those days.  I already had a really good job by that time, (which was to lay the foundation of me getting a better job in the media,) and a reputation I had to be very careful of, so I left Todd’s Father and started my own life. I just remember the good out of those good old times and try to forget the bad.   Seems like each new adventure in my life was a different kind of learning experience that’s for sure.

Sunshine
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240 posted 2004-07-28 03:13 PM


"I just remember the good out of those good old times and try to forget the bad."  That's the only way we can see our way through sometimes, Mysteria.  I love this story.  It's enough to make me call my Aunt and have her tell me of her Motown experiences...


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241 posted 2004-07-28 04:06 PM


Oh brother Karilea, I have lots of Motown stories too.  Come to think if it, there was a jazz period as well.  

Tina Turner:  When I moved to Vancouver, there was this nightclub, called the Oil Can Harry's and I got myself in with what was thought to be the "in-crowd" at that time, including the owner, Danny. You know the movers and shakers?  Danny would let me dance in a cage after my regular job to make extra money (sure laugh!)  Well Tina Turner had left Ike and was out solo and was booked into Oil Can's for a long haul.  I was SO excited as I loved her.  My friend Marylen's friend, Diane, was a secretary to Tina at that time, so the three of us hung out when her act was in practice, or on stage, and got to go here and there on the weekends if we could get away to go that is.  I have to tell you the absolute truth about Tina Turner, she overwhelmed me then every bit as much as she does now.  She was extremelely spiritual, and got everyone together before each performance to give thanks and ask for a blessing.  She was not once an over-indulger, and trust me I saw tons of them.  She respected the art for arts sake, and could work a crowd like nobody's business.  I respected her then and I do now.  I have always wanted an opportunity to thank her for letting me ride her coatails that one year, just one year in my life that was an important one of learning, and from her.

Now don't you get me started, I have lots of stories like these, and sometimes they are better left as just that - memories.  That was then and this is indeed, now.

Don't suppose anyone knows who Lenny Breau is do they?  Oh lawd, someone gag me.

Sunshine
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242 posted 2004-07-28 05:18 PM


Remove the gag, and spill...
serenity blaze
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243 posted 2004-07-28 07:51 PM


Was the song you heard by that girl folk singer "The Circle Game?"

That was Joni's famous answer to Neil's wistful song, "Sugarmountain"...they had this great tradition of answering each other in verse, and it's a great gift to us all that they did.

and smiling at you--you finally told the story that cemented the beginnings of our friendship, so I thank you muchly...

This lady has some fabulous stories, folks...

whining and begging mysteria, tell the one about babysitting for Burton Cumming's kids!

and working for that radio station in the sixties...

and FABIAN!

and woodstock!

and, and, and...

sigh.

(This lady has MY book in her!)

giggle..

and Susan, remember now--People's Parties.

Everytime you hear that one you must think of me.

Enjoy, lady!



and Motown? oh yes...I grew up with four older brothers and sisters so I have had quite the eclectic musical education myself...

the place was a madhouse.

serenity blaze
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244 posted 2004-07-28 09:14 PM


and here ya go folks, a story from the madhouse.



*  *  *

I used to sing "The Circle Game" while my brother played guitar.

He loved my voice, and I loved his guitar playing.

We had that "perfect fit" of comradery, and although I am so shy I can't even perform karoke, there was just something about the way he nodded at me that gave me the comfort zone I needed, and I would sing for him. We were buddies that shared some unspoken bond of "outlaw" and I would borrow from his bravado and sing proudly--I knew that no one would dare to laugh or even criticize me with my brother present.

He was a huge strong man, who boasted chameleon biker nicknames--"sasquatch" and sometimes "Brutus". The monikers belied the sensitivity that was apparent when he played, tears sometimes streaming down his cheeks. He was considered quite mad by many, but I understood how much of his frustration was spawned by the dichotomy of his very being. He was consistently judged by his appearance. Inwardly a poet and philosopher, he was forced to learn to fight due to an outer wrappering of danger.

"When somebody has something to prove," he confided to me, "They gotta take the big man down."

and sadly, that was him.

He was not at home in his skin, and I was not at home in mine, and we understood that about each other.

He was a vagabond, and would take off for periods of time, and we never knew where he might end up, or when he'd return.

I was just a child but I remember when a musical war erupted in our home regarding "Beach Boys" vs. "Beatles".

My eldest sister was a Beatles fan--a go-go dancer girl complete with white boots, dancing on a local television show every Saturday. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band had just been released, and my brother was outraged that the Beach Boys "Pet Sounds" had been overshadowed by the ongoing Beatlemania. This argument continued until John Lennon's infamous statement regarding being "bigger than God." My sister, being a good girl go-go dancer, promptly joined the fracas of record burning and my brother was gleeful.

Oh, not because he endorsed such madness. But the fact that my sister did completely proved his point that she was "clueless."

There were more musical wars amongst them--my other brother had signed allegiance with Wilson Picket over James Brown, as "twist" later discovered Deep Purple, and painted a dayglo fireball on her wall.

and me? shrug--I thought it was all good (I even enjoyed Tijuana Taxi) but by the time I was ten, I was immersed in Bob Dylan and belatedly followed a folk movement that spoke to my love of poetry. By the age of ten I was saving my allowance to purchase my Rolling Stone mag, and pilfering my brothers beat poet books. He and I even had an argument regarding that. It wasn't because I was surreptiously reading his books, but he had recently discovered Rod McKuen. He wanted me to read Rod. I tried, I truly did, but even then I had this desire for words that "bite"--and I felt even then that Rod couldn't compare to Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg. But my brother was always adamant in his opinion, so he persisted.

*  *  *

So y'see, we didn't just argue over music either. The following occurred when I was a little older, but not much.


I used to keep one of those plastic parson's tables by my bed, and as is still my habit, I would place whatever beverage, cigarettes, and an ashtray there as I read myself to sleep. (shush about the age and my smoking, I KNOW--cough, hack hack)

One morning I woke up and even in my state of half-sleep, I immediately noticed that my dog-eared Kerouac was gone! In it's place was a collection of Rod McKuen.

I don't wake happy to begin with, and it was in that state that I flew out to find my brother having coffee in the kitchen with my mom.

"Where is it? I know you have it!"

He was smiling but acting innocent.

"Missing something?"

"Give it back!" I demanded, protesting, "Mooooooooooooom! Make him give it back!"

She was completely puzzled.

"Give it back," she shrugged to my brother, then, thinking for a second she thought to ask: "Kerouac? What is that--is that some kind of dope"

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

I yelled "NO!" as my brother yelled "YES!" before he collapsed in his coffee laughing hysterically.


*  *  *

Later on, he gave me both books, and said, "Just give it a shot after your hormones settle down."


*  *  *

I miss Keith so bad...and yep, my poor parents!


Sheesh.



All in all, not a bad bohemian upbringing I guess.

Mysteria
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245 posted 2004-07-28 09:29 PM


Hey you!  I'm not THAT old!  I babysat Burton (or watched is a better word), not his kids!  (You know...I don't even know if he has any but if he does and they take after him, I will sure pray for him through I recall telling you Rhoda or  didn't like to leave him alone as he was a dangerous kid. I actually knew him, and his Mom long before Neil or Bill. I was only 16 then and he was 13 or 14,  but the lad needed "direction"  so she paid me to make sure he didn't light her house on fire, literally. She was a single parent and a darn good one.

I met Bill before Neil too as Burton took a spot that opened in The Guess Who when Chad Allen and Bob someting left that group.  I remember this really tall base player named Ken, (who ended up being the base player for the Squires), Chad Allen,(another musician Bill played with), and Burton gave it a shot too once out of his Grandmother's garage.  They used to load all their equipment into her beautiful black convertible, and head off to play at school dances.   There were so many bands at that time with people who are well-known now but they sure did not end up where they started.  All of a sudden one day things started shifting radically, some left the  band they were in to get paid solo, Randy started producing as well as writing and playing, and members from different fragmented bands starting joining forces with another bands.  Neil decided to get a new hearse, which he still was named, Mort, and left town period.  He never looked back and as an artist I was never really crazy about him, but his aptitude as a writer and a musician are darn hard to match.  Like the lines go, "It was the best of times and the worst of times."  I unfortunately got into a life that was just way to crazy for me, drugs just didn't interest me.  I kissed them all goodbye and headed to the states and a career in radio and television for a while

Karen, I am sure there are many here who attended that great art and music fair in Sullivan county, that famous Aug. 14th?  I would love to change stories with anyone who was there anytime via email, but this is your journal not mine.  Thank you for letting me trip the light fantastic down memory lane though. I have taken far too many "pages" but will return another time with some stories for you.

serenity blaze
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246 posted 2004-07-28 09:35 PM


*ahem*

This happens to my INTERACTIVE journal...

and?
gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I knew you'd tell the story if only to correct my um, "error" of age...



gawd I love ya lady!


serenity blaze
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247 posted 2004-07-28 10:08 PM


and um, Kari, Mysteria, forgive me in advance for this, but may I quote you--twice?

Mysteria quotes # 1:  

"Now don't you get me started, I have lots of stories like these, and sometimes they are better left as just that - memories.  That was then and this is indeed, now.

grinning wicked now---and?

Karilea/Sunshine quote #2:

"Remove the gag, and spill... "


and chuckling, I'll exit now, quoting the stones:

"If ya start me up, I'll never stop."

bwahahahahaha



(and I came back to edit, thanks for the pointer, friend)

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (07-28-2004 11:33 PM).]

Enchantress
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248 posted 2004-07-28 10:24 PM


Karen you sound so much better!!  I'm so pleased.  

Sharon!!  You know Fabian????  The Fabian Forte???

Oh gawd!!  I was like SO in love with him!!!

*Nancy exits to look through her old 45's..
knowing full well he must have had a least one hit record!*

Aha!!  "Turn me Loose" I knew it!


serenity blaze
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249 posted 2004-07-28 11:17 PM


You've got that?



Do you know what you can get for that on EBAY???






Mysteria
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250 posted 2004-07-29 01:41 AM


You mean his old records were worth something
Aenimal
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251 posted 2004-07-29 02:10 AM


I can't tell you how cool these last few stories have been, keep em coming, I'm a music fanatic. And YES some of those vinyls are quite the collector's items! I miss my vinyls...sigh
Susan Caldwell
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252 posted 2004-07-29 05:04 AM


Have to agree with Raph, these stories are great!

Karen~I will not forget "People's Parties" and I promise to think of you everytime I hear it!!!  (and thank you for sharing your brother..I understand how hard that must have been)

Sharon~Good lord, now I want to hear all of your stories!!  (Tina Turner was the "Hot Legs" in the Rod Stewart video for the song..love her)

Sunshine
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253 posted 2004-07-29 06:37 AM


The lines that are quoted...sheesh....
nakdthoughts
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254 posted 2004-07-29 08:56 AM


what do people expect on here..and why do they expect more and not accept what you have to offer...

I come on here for the comfort of reading words...sometimes they are too sad for me to respond to, just as I don't expect some to understand or be able to respond to those of mine in the recent past.

I don't come for the responses although they are a bonus and can add to my day. But I don't sulk or think everyone is against me or dislikes me if there are few responses or aren't the ones I would like to see even from those closest to me.

And emails? well some of you send jokes and funnies to perk us up...I don't always respond in kind or even thank you, but I do enjoy them.

Sometimes I email a response if I think my response may be too personal from my experiences...and would rather not post it. Sometimes I receive them like that also.

I enjoy the internet...and believe in the friendships made, but also think people must realize that life goes on outside of it and  that to some it isn't the number one priority in life..( did I say that??? even though it has saved me from myself many times.

Anyway, I am feeling low today, because I must not understand the definition of friendship, thinking that there should be more to it than just timeliness and words...  

M

Sunshine
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255 posted 2004-07-29 09:42 AM


"thinking that there should be more to it than just timeliness and words..."

Maureen, I know how you feel.  I rarely send around the e-mails that I receive because most everyone I would send them to are already on the sender's mailing list...

And after five years with this wonderful site, I think those that know me really well, know I'm still a fairly shy gal...but if you need me, I am here for you, and you, and you, peeking out from the corner over there.  [You all know who you are.]  My problem is when I think I need others, I don't always reach out, and leave things to brew inside myself...

But a sharing place, such as serenity's garden, constantly finds me in search of those who are just sharing whatever is crossing their mind at the moment - and it is sometimes a good dumping ground for immediate frustration [yes, I know we have the Alley...but sometimes your closer knit friends don't even question the AARRGGHH...they just offer tea and shoulders [now Maureen, there's a line for your next poem...Tea and Shoulders]

So I'm the first one to admit I'm not always timely...and I certainly don't always have the right words [some would argue...] but honey, that line struck me so hard, because I do know, this time, exactly how you feel...



Oh, and Marueen?  I sure hope you kept the start of that last duet - I changed computers last night....
and all e-mails are kaput.

nakdthoughts
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256 posted 2004-07-29 10:31 AM


I like that. Tea and Shoulders...maybe a good one when I am in the writing mood... thank you and yes, you have email...


Mysteria
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257 posted 2004-07-29 12:46 PM


Raph, and Susan - Karen is driving me nuts to unload in here some memories, so I may tell the odd one, and especially about Woodstock as it was awesome!  I left my son (who was under 2), and took off to be a "girl" again and go with my two cousins to New York, well the rest became history to the world and in our family.

Maureen - I must have missed something as I am not quite sure what your posting related to, but I can answer the "what do people expect on here" part a bit.  No much, just a friend to listen, respond, or understand I suppose.  I have a life beyond this computer as well that sometimes is way to hectic, but I continue to make time for the friends I have met on the computer, and specifically through Ron's generosity.  Some of these people will be in my life long after those I see daily are gone I am sure as the intensity of these friendships are stronger.  As Karen once put it, "She has seen us nekked!" through our poetry.  There is nothing like poetry to really discover whom a person really is if you read between the lines.

I hope I am not off track here?  If anyone comes onto a site like this looking for that external gratification in the way of responses, then I think they are here for the wrong reasons.  First, poetry should be written for yourself, and second, it is what you think of that piece just written at the end of the day that counts.  Those lovely responses, unless they are in critical analyses, are just niceties from people that fancy you as well as your work.  They are a means of connecting to someone.  Some poets don't even respond to them because they don't wish to start something they can't finish.  

How do I know this?   I have written some really terrible stuff, and can't do poetic structure if I tried (not enough time,) but still they comment more than I deserve.  I have taken a break from writing anything for now on here, but do it on my computer.

As for you, again I hope I am on track here as well.  You have been through such an extremely demanding, emotional, and exhausting experience that places so many demands on a person's mind, body and soul.  A lot of us walked part of that journey with you and had hoped you could feel that support, because it was sure there.  If you feel somehow "slighted" I think you have to be more concise as to why and how.  This circle of friends in here could not be stronger if we were neighbours and all one has to do is ask for support, and I bet you could not shut that door from people streaming through it to be there.

If you are currently feeling "something" that is unpleasant or even pleasant, and wish to share it - there are people in here that sometimes just sit back in their chair and read, and go, "Ahhhh," and then there are others like me that step up to the plate with that "shy Sunshine " and speak up.  Nonetheless, we all care about each other the same, and the only way to make a bond like we have strong and keep it strong is to be active in it.  Like my Mom used to say, "What is it?  I can't read your darn mind?" but then now, that is another story that can't be printed from a chapter of my life.

Now I am probaby making a real ass out of myself and don't even understand the concept of the words before me - if so, I apologize, as my intentions were noble.

nakdthoughts
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258 posted 2004-07-29 01:55 PM


smiling at you Sharon...no, no one on here has slighted me...in fact it has been the reverse and I am grateful for all the friendships I have made on here...

I was just a bit disappointed today having been told I wasn't the kind of friend I guess I was supposed to be or thought I was...and the "timeliness or words" I mentioned...meant that I think of friends as being unconditional and understanding and that online time and  emails  and responses cannot always be delivered upon the one expecting it when they want it..but sometimes life in real can cause a delay...
and  one should not be admonished because of it.

anyway....I just was wondering what others expect online to be...that it can't and doesn't totally replace a life on the outside but should and could add to it.

I hope that is clearer, for I don't wish for anyone to think I don't appreciate each of you on here... you have helped me survive  all the negative stuff in my life and  you deserve much  more than just my thanks.

M

Susan Caldwell
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259 posted 2004-07-29 02:18 PM


M~

I expected nothing and received so much.  Valuable friendships, understanding ears, stories that I could live vicariously through, a place to vent, a place to get away from "real" for a bit. The list goes on and on.......I "speak" in only two places online...here and via email.    

As for real life, well it comes first of course.  When I am online you can bet I am either at home alone or at work (shhhhh!) Otherwise I am with the ones I love, not online.

(this message was edited so Duncan would stay off my behind)



"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Aenimal
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260 posted 2004-07-29 03:34 PM


"this message was edited so Duncan would stay off my behind"

.....aaah forget it.

Aenimal
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261 posted 2004-07-29 03:39 PM


Still awaiting that woodstock story...
Wow, you saw Jimi...wow.

btw wish Karen would share some more of hers, though I'm still reeling from her Jimmy Page/spit/booger story. It was bad enough when i noticed the squeaky bassdrum pedal in Since I've Been Loving You, without having to picture Jimmy with something a'hangin'.

nakdthoughts
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262 posted 2004-07-29 04:00 PM


I expected nothing and received so much.  Valuable friendships, understanding ears, stories that I could live vicariously through, a place to vent, a place to get away from "real" for a bit. The list goes on and on.......I "speak" in only two places online...here and via email

Thank you Susan for saying it better than I have...

M

and yes, Sharon I would also love to hear about Woodstock, my brothers were there but I was too "naive" to attempt it.


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263 posted 2004-07-29 04:11 PM


LOL...go ahead Raph.  Ya got me curious.  

And Myrtle...I thought you liked me on your behind???  Isn't that why you got the tatoo??  You know, the one on your cheek with a puppy inside a heart???  


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264 posted 2004-07-29 04:15 PM


Maureen I finally got it!  I understand that part as well when people feel we should live up to their expectations of us and answer them back when they feel we should and not when we can.  I let it be their stuff and hope they might be glad to hear from me when they do at least.

I have to head out but I will be back after life   to tell my Woodstock adventure.  The highlight to me was on day 2, when The Who, Sly and the Family Stone, CCR, Janice, and Santana were playing.  Now that I am older I wished I had paid more attention when Hendrix was playing as back then it was just loud noise to me.  I just saw Santana not all that long ago in Vancouver with my son, talk about bridging a musical gap.

serenity blaze
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265 posted 2004-07-29 04:55 PM


SANTANA!!!!

I forget the year, but it was a rainy Jazz & Heritage Festival here in New Orleans.

The festivities are held at a local horse racing track so when it rains? nod and wince, you guessed it. Eau de Manure...

I think they were to open on the famous Ray Ban stage--which is spread out more than others and reserved for the bigger names that draw the largest crowds.

The sky was dark and threatening as the stoics gathered, getting wet and smelly waiting for Santana to perform. Then I promise you, a strange thing happened as Carlos walked out on stage. It was so unusual that the grateful roaring crowd become hushed and I was standing there in awe as the dark clouds opened and a ray of light shown down on the stage as seagulls played overhead--above the stage area only, mind you.

Wow.

Just wow.

It was a holy moment.

Almost as good as watching Jimmy Page drool.


Sunshine
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266 posted 2004-07-29 05:03 PM


ah serene one...moments like that do happen...and I saw it unfold in your words...and I was there with you...me?  I was brought up fairly country/western/mixed with all of the classics, touched by lots of songs from the plays of the 30's, 40's and 50's...and I tried so hard to rock and roll, but I'm more a ballad kinda girl...LOL....

but I do so enjoy everyone's stories.

Tell on!

serenity blaze
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267 posted 2004-07-29 05:15 PM


Yanno who else has great music stories???

TOERAG!

I wish somebody would convince him to pop in here and tell a few...

hint hint hint

Susan Caldwell
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268 posted 2004-07-29 08:43 PM


Do not let Duncan's stories get out of control...

He is on my behind because he is always letting me know when I have a spelling/grammar error....

*sigh*

Some people....

and for the record?  I have two tatoo's and they are on my back!

Mysteria
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269 posted 2004-07-29 09:37 PM


Off to get that Toerag right now!  Man, he has awesome collector car stories too.  Did you realize that he plays a guitar?  Won't spoil it but will get him to tell his own stories.

By the way Karen, Ravi Shankar was at Woodstock as well, and so strange that over 35 years later I love his daughter every bit as much as I did him, and when I found out Nora Jones was his daughter somehow it did not surprise me. He made his sitar speak as she does her piano.  It was a time in my life when making a "V" with your fingers said a lot about who you were, and what you were about, It was a time for spiritual awakening, a time for rebellion of just about anything you could rebel against.  My biggest memory was how far we walked to get there, and we had to leave a lot of food behind in the car, as it was at least 10-15 miles to walk there.  There has been mention that it was all peace and love during Woodstock, not so, there was a lot of violence as well, and even on the way there, many people had been car-jacked (their cars taken.)  The tickets cost us $18.00 for the weekend (imagine!) and we didn't even get close on the Friday to getting there, when the rain was coming down in buckets, and we crashed in some farmer's field with a lot of people walking that late.  I will say this, once inside if you needed something people shared.

Oh shoot I lost my trend of thought - what I was going to tell you was this - Todd, my son was amazed at the Santana concert how many women my age and older were up on their feet all night dancing to his music.  I couldn't sit still when he played if my life depended on it, and Rod Stewart is another one gets me on my feet.

Kari?  Give us a country song story?

Martie
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270 posted 2004-07-29 11:06 PM


I have a Hall and Oates nightmare concert story...but right now I don't have the energy to tell it.  Someone remind me later...ok?  Enjoying you all...

and then there is the record collection story...groan!  

Aenimal
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271 posted 2004-07-30 01:14 AM


Unfortunately all my rock stories include modern bands, although I once stood in line next to Geddy Lee of Rush who was havng a rivetting conversation with (literary genius)Mordecai Richler's son Daniel. Um..I know not the greatest story but it was interesting. Better stories include a bet to rub Billy Corgan's head, saving three girl's from the mosh pit at a Radiohead show(of all concerts), escaping moshpits, and taking out a good 4 rows of people in a fight at Korn concert. But I wanna hear about the legends, more! more!
serenity blaze
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272 posted 2004-07-30 05:32 AM


Alice Cooper, The Warehouse, New Orleans

and sigh, look up the year, 'cause I'm burnt out.

First I should describe "The Warehouse".

OH.

I just did.

It was a warehouse, converted by virtue of a stage with a small storeroom that doubled as "backstage" and bathrooms that mother never told you about because she never dreamed such nasties.

This was the heyday of Alice, complete with bloodied baby dolls strewn from the stage and the infamous guillotine act as finale. Scott, my baby-faced sweet & gentle friend was there and that night, he was quite um, in his prime, and feeling quite the monkey boy. So he climbed a support post with agility, to perch his skinny butt in that "Y" of support over the crowd.

He had found the perfect seat--above it all.

Now I don't know if any of you recall the theater of Alice, and how remarkably well orchestrated the show actually was, but my toes ached from standing on tips, trying to catch every nuance of his stage performance.

It was damned exciting too.

I knew the act from reputation, so I followed each song with anticipation, understanding the build up of excitement, appreciating a pro playing the crowd.

Then I saw it--something dark and dangling over Alice's head. It looked like giant black scissors dangling over his head through the blind of yellow lights. I thought I saw some bad perspective--awkward angles, when I realized--those scissors were legs!

Somebody had crawled over the rafters of the Warehouse and was attempting to drop onto Alice from above.

Then it dawned on me.

Scott...

I looked up slow the length of the post I had been leaning on and yes, he was gone.

OMG...

I quickly assessed the moment and looked up at the rafters over the stage to see Scott drop from the rafters onto the stage as bodyguards (the um, bigg'ns) grabbed him, punched him in the face and threw him out into the outstretched arms of the shoulder-to-shoulder crowd begging for blood.

I saw him bounce a few times before he disappeared from view and the crowd grew rabid up front as more staff appeared on stage with hoses, "cooling down" the kids who begged for the promised blood of the Cooper.

Scott appeared much later, wobbly, bruised, and damp, after I had retreated from the frenzy of middle center to the back. He had a fractured, bloody nose but he was gleeful:

"Didja see me? I was on stage with Alice man!"

*shaking my head*

The boy was in a state of ecstacy, and I don't think any other moment ever compared to the rush of it after that.

Except maybe his actual death. Later, he was found dead, butt nekked in the woods of Mississippi, overdosed on angeldust.

Some things, I have decided, I will never know. There are some things I'd rather not.

*  *  *

When we tell the war stories now, and Scott's name is mentioned in legend, I just think to myself,

"It's okay, he's with the band..."

Cheers, baby! I sigh.

Sorry it ended so soon.


garysgirl
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273 posted 2004-07-30 05:46 AM


Hi ya'll
I'm thoroughly enjoying these music stories. I love allll kinds of music. I'll be back later to read more about Woodstock, Sharon. And, poor little old moo cow.

Karen, I'm glad that you're coming along good. I love all your stories.

Maureen,   You have been in my thoughts a lot. I just haven't known what to say.

Nancy and Chris, I love your comedy. Hey, Nancy, I know a joke about hanging baskets. HeeHee!!

Susan, Gary's Dad has just gotten into EBay. And Sharon, I think he's slowly getting addicted.

Karilea, I loved those poems, and I love the way you tell about your stories.

Raph, Duncan, Capt. Ron....... Hello, you brave men!!! Hey, Capt, I sure would have loved to have read what you edited out. LOL Karen, you got it saved?? LOL

Martie, I'll be looking for your music stories.

Hi Janet Marie, Jo and GG..Hope ya'll are doing good, too.

I think that's everybody I saw since I've been here last. If not, I love ya'll even if I didn't mention it.

See ya'll later. Love you all bunches!!
Hugs,
Ethel

serenity blaze
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274 posted 2004-07-30 05:48 AM


and I have missed you too ethel.



Now that's a good time to sleep, I think.

After the hugs.

Love ya lady!

Sunshine
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275 posted 2004-07-30 06:31 AM


Ethel's home...Now this is a very good day!
Susan Caldwell
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276 posted 2004-07-30 09:12 AM


Raph~~

Your stories would be interesting to me!!

Here are the "bands" I have seen:

Pat Benatar
Def Leppard
Sugar Ray (this was an outside thing and I can't remember who else played)
Ani Difranco

That is it!!!! I have not lived...

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Nightshade
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277 posted 2004-07-30 10:31 AM


Welcome home Ethel Mae!!

Karen - oh, my goodness, your dear friend, Scott. I was smiling and then tearing up reading your story. He must have been just thrilled to dangle and then land on stage with the great Alice!
   In an off-hand way it reminds me of a piano player friend of our parents. A frail, little man named Ferd Reddy .... Ferd,not Fred. No relation to Helen ... but then again who knows in the entertainment world?
   Anyway, back in the fifties it seemed any kind of act tantalized the crowds, a costumed rollerskating couple whose name maybe my sister can remember was one of them. They danced on their skates, flipped and twirled. But, the best trick was when "he" took hold of "her" by the wrists and started to spin. Round and round they whirled, her body straight out in the air while he bent at the knees steadied himself. All the while little Ferd - on the same stage - played the piano expertly - the moods of his selections matching the skating tricks being performed. It always went off beautifully.
  Always that is until this summer's eve at a small country town where the show was performed outside and the stage was wooden, open on all sides and at least 8 feet up in the air. Performing space was a little cramped,night bugs were plenty, but you did what you had to do to keep the people happy.
The audience applauded the skater's every dip and spin. Ferd's small head with hair stuck up in every direction bobbed with the beat of the songs he hammered out on the piano. The piano dangerously close to the rollerrink wonders! The female part of the act was now just a blur as she was being spun in a circle. The crowd cheered. Then it happened. BAM !! Her skates connected with the side of Ferd's head and he flew like a bowling pin right off of the stage!!!
  Good grief! My father in his magic tux and a country singer and a couple of jugglers ran around to the back of the stage. There on the ground lay Ferd. Dazed yes, bruised .. yup ... but like the old saying "The Show Must Go On", Dad and the others helped him up, brushed him off, and assisted him back to his beloved piano. Bravo Ferd! Bravo! He was such a sweet man. I wonder where he is now? The last time I saw Ferd, he was crawling around under a long dining table at a chinese restaurant searching for something. Ah, but that's another story.
   Sorry, ummm....I didn't go to Woodstock. Woodstock Ontario yes ... not the other. Hee hee....I feel really dumb all of sudden. So, I'll just say I love ya all.  

Enchantress
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278 posted 2004-07-30 10:48 AM


Chris..you have me laughing so hard my sides hurt..
I remember that incident so well!!  Too funny.

Speaking of people and object landing and falling off of stages..

I remember a great act, Joan Ross "Queen of the Australian Bullwhip!"  Also was a champion lasso spinner..the one who did the giant twenty foot spin and sliced all the palm trees off from the sides of the stage at Hotel London as she performed this amazing feat.  Audience members who were having there dinner at the time ended up with more than lettuce in their salads.

Which reminds me of...Slim, a unicycle and a monkey....but, then again, that's another story.  

I don't know any really really famous people..except maybe Tommy Hunter who is a famous country singer here in Canada.

I did go to see someone who had a hit record out in the early 60's.  Maybe Chris can remember his name.  (I'm having a senior moment)

And, Chris I know the Woodstock you're talking about too...and I'll bet Kit has been there as well.
It wasn't the real one...but...another story.

Welcome home Ethel!!

I love these stories...keep them comin'..
and most of all I love all of you!!  

Nightshade
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279 posted 2004-07-30 12:02 PM


Oh gleeeeee!!   Yes...it's all coming back to me....you and your fiance' at the time took me to Kenwick on the Lake here to see ummmm..umm..um...Bobby Vinton & Bryan Hyland !!!   I was just maybe eleven years old or twelve. Remember? "Roses are red my love, violets are blue-ooo-ooo." Then my coming- into- being hormones jumped for joy when cutiepatootie Bryan Hyland sang "Sealed with a Kiss." Sigh.
  Okay, now, let's let Serene One have her journal back. Thankyou Karen for bringing back such wonderful memories - all of you for that matter.  Stories pleaaaaase!  

serenity blaze
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280 posted 2004-07-30 05:10 PM


ahhhhhhhhhhh...

I was talking to a moth the other evening...

Funny, that's the opening line of my all time favorite poem and now I'm able to say that as an actuality.

But anyhoo, she and I were discussing the journal, and how I felt about others input.

The truth is, I adore others stories. It keeps things going for me. If this were all about me it would bore me to tears.

THEN I gave her a wish list of people I wished would participate more. Chrislane and Nancy Lee? Ya'll were at the top of my list and your stories just proved my point.

I exclaimed to Jan, "Who else do you know grew up with an actual dummy for a brother? Now that's writing material!"

and I just told my husband the story of Ferd too, and even tho he's vehemently anti-Pip, he laughed until tears fell.

So please, folks, keep 'em coming!

Also, tsk...there's some silent readers out there who have been tempted to tell their stories but don't feel like they are worthy (I know, because I get them in e mail) and I'd like to encourage those who feel too shy to just try it.

Even the smallest events can have signifigance and poignancy, and I thank you all for sharing with me, and others.

and now for that poem that I love...I've posted the link to it so many times I should know it by heart, but I don't.

sheesh.

I love you folks!

serenity blaze
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281 posted 2004-07-30 05:14 PM


and ta da! Here it is, my anthem:
http://www.donmarquis.com/readingroom/archybooks/moth.html

the lesson of the moth
By Don Marquis, in "archy and mehitabel," 1927


i was talking to a moth
the other evening
he was trying to break into
an electric light bulb
and fry himself on the wires

why do you fellows
pull this stunt i asked him
because it is the conventional
thing for moths or why
if that had been an uncovered
candle instead of an electric
light bulb you would
now be a small unsightly cinder
have you no sense

plenty of it he answered
but at times we get tired
of using it
we get bored with the routine
and crave beauty
and excitement
fire is beautiful
and we know that if we get
too close it will kill us
but what does that matter
it is better to be happy
for a moment
and be burned up with beauty
than to live a long time
and be bored all the while
so we wad all our life up
into one little roll
and then we shoot the roll
that is what life is for
it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty
our attitude toward life
is come easy go easy
we are like human beings
used to be before they became
too civilized to enjoy themselves

and before i could argue him
out of his philosophy
he went and immolated himself
on a patent cigar lighter
i do not agree with him
myself i would rather have
half the happiness and twice
the longevity

but at the same time i wish
there was something i wanted
as badly as he wanted to fry himself

archy

*  *  *

I'm not sure if this violates any copyright thing, but it's all over the net in full, but if it's a prob, I can delete the poem and leave the link?


Nightshade
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282 posted 2004-07-30 05:42 PM


we are like human beings
used to be before they became
too civilized to enjoy themselves


Thankyou withcywoman for posting this awesome write. I have never read it before. Geesh, I feel like I have missed out on so much learning. It's never too late though as they say.
  Thankyou also for wanting to hear more of my sister and my stories. They are true and probably that's what makes them funny. It feels so good to make other's smile. Huggin' you here. Chrislane

Enchantress
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283 posted 2004-07-30 06:07 PM


Karen, thank you for posting that poem..

And...for giving my sister and I the words we were hoping to here.  We both were a little afraid we were off base telling our true stories of life growing up in 'the business'.  It was a wild and unusual childhood to say the least, with plenty more stories where those came from...most of them complete with pictures.

I'm so pleased if we were able to make you smile a little wider, and laugh a little harder.  It's good to know the pain is behind you now.

I just wanted to say thank you again for this nook here in Serenity's Garden.

I may be back with pics.

Love ya lady!

serenity blaze
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284 posted 2004-07-30 06:11 PM


Pics?

gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

and I know I owe ya'll some, but believe it or not, I already rolled over the cord, so after a trip to Office Depot, I should be back in business.

mmmmmmmmmm...pics...

(serenity exits, rubbing her hands in anticipation)


Enchantress
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Canada eh.
285 posted 2004-07-30 06:16 PM


\

Chrislane and myself about 1955.
Gee..this pic is pretty big..
Think I'd better hold back on the monkey/unicycle/chili pics.

There...think I got it a bit smaller.

serenity blaze
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286 posted 2004-07-30 06:20 PM


Now this is charming! Shaking my head here, how cute is that?

and yes, Keep 'em coming, but yes, I realize some people's pc SUCK (growling at my own right now) and pics can slow down the thread, but I think if we are careful of the size and space 'em out it should be fine, but Ronnie Baby could tell us more about that.

and if not, you know my e mail...

Thanks nance!

Nightshade
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287 posted 2004-07-30 06:29 PM


Uuugh! That dreaded penguin outfit! I mean... come on! Couldn't I have had a little fairy costume or something? I kept walking into things beak first!
serenity blaze
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288 posted 2004-07-30 06:31 PM


so cute...

I can just see that happening Chris!

ya'll make me so happy!

serenity blaze
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289 posted 2004-07-30 06:39 PM


That beak story reminded me of something, too.

I am not good at being a girly girl and it just annoys my eldest sister to no end, too.

Y'see? I have "good" hair, meaning it can be teased, gelled, and manipulated into doing just about anything. So one night I gave her free reign to put my hair in a "poof" as I was going to something rather formal that night.

Do you know I kept slamming my hair in the car door all night?

I'm just not good at that stuff...sigh.

sheesh


Enchantress
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290 posted 2004-07-30 06:45 PM


ROTFL!!!  Slamming your hair in the car door!!

Gee...hair stories..I dyed Chris's hair green once.

That was back in the 60's when I used to iron mine. LOL!

Nightshade
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291 posted 2004-07-30 07:29 PM


Bad hair stories! EEEEEK! Serenity...lol...big, hard hair can be dangerous.
As for my hair being green, it wasn't quite that bad. Well yes it was, but when Dad came to pick me up from Nancy Lee's, he told me to stop crying, that I looked quite abit like the cute, little, grey squirrel that lived in our tree out back! whaaaaaaa!!
   Then there was the time that I dyed my hair black, didn't like it, so bleached it out to blonde all in ONE day! Needless to say most of it fell out. Thank the Lord "pixie cuts" were in back then! Geesh.

  Oooh .... oooh ... ha ha haaaaaa.....that reminds me of an invention another magician friend of ours made in the 50's!! Remember Nancy Lee?  The bright, pink, rubber,(don't go there)bathing cap type thingy! LMAO.  My sister looked like The Creature From the Pink Lagoon! ha ha haaa.
  You were supposed to wear this contraption to bed and wake up with not a curl out of place. That's cause your hair was so flattened, it looked like it had been waxed to your head!! Oh, the memories. I can't laugh anymore tonight. I won't sleep.
  I remember our Mom - bless her heart - telling us that. "Quit laughing now, or you won't be able to sleep a wink."  Hmmmm...I wonder why laughter would keep you awake? Never could understand that one. I am rambling...bye ya'll.  

Enchantress
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292 posted 2004-07-30 07:44 PM


Ahahaaa!!!  Yes I remember it well.
But it wasn't rubber Chris..it was a hard pink plastic, not unlike a football helmet, and very very hard to sleep on.

This magician/inventor/friend meant well..but I was usually the one to try out his new 'inventions'.

Gawd..I need a kleenex to wipe the mascara off my cheeks.

Nightshade
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293 posted 2004-07-30 08:06 PM


Why would you put mascara on your cheeks in the first place?
serenity blaze
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294 posted 2004-07-30 08:56 PM


grin...

now where is Martie???

and Raph, I know you have stories, lovie--FESS UP!

(and there are some I have told in private that shouldn't be repeated. I've family here yanno! and chuckle, as much as I love words that "bite" I hate when my own words bite me!) My groupie days are over.

and where is local Reb? He is a musician too and I'd love to hear some road stories...


Janet Marie
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295 posted 2004-07-30 09:44 PM


but at the same time i wish
there was something i wanted
as badly as he wanted to fry himself

===============================

moth anthem........ yayayayayaya


iliana
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296 posted 2004-07-31 02:20 AM


Hi, ya'll!  I just stopped in to catch up on all the stories......all the stories are wonderful.  I enjoy everybody here so much and am so grateful for the sharing that goes one.  

Ethel - Where ya been?  I had been missing you.  

Karen & Sunshine -- I have to admit 'tho I wear a facade of being outgoing, I think there really is a shyness underneath that and PIP is beginning to get me to unearth a bit.  Thanks to you two and Chris, Sharon, Nancy Lee, Susan and everybody else who I forgot to add.  You folks are all so real.  

Now, as for stories.......I've got one about Kenny Loggins ....

My ex-husband, Paul, and I were really big fans of L & M.  We went to every concert that came to Cincinnati.  Then they broke up and it was just Kenny.  Well, that was okay 'cuz he was the one I was nuts over anyway.  Paul admitted he was even jealous over my obsession with him....so, like Paul's usual response to jealously....if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?  So, now instead of one obsessing, there're two.  When Loggins split off to make his solo career, we were right there to watch it.  He came to Cincinnati and was booked to play at a place called, "Bogart's."  Like that name.....don't bogart that joint.... Bogart's is a dinner club with a stage for performers near University of Cincinnati....last I knew, it was still there, but that's been a while.  

We didn't have tickets for the concert....but there was still standing room only.  I would guess the club held maybe 300-500, not sure.  So, at 7 a.m. that Saturday morning, the morning of Kenny Loggins at Bogart's, Paul and I, dressed in our "cool" bell bottoms and baby shirts, got in the bug and drove 40 miles to Cinci.  

When we got there, of course, Bogart's (being a dinner club) was not open.  So, we walked around a bit, visited some of the artsie college shops.  My favorite was the righteous jeans store.  Some clever college kid had started it by buying used blue jeans for a buck or two and re-designing them into "farout" righteous jeans, selling them for a small fortune.  After the "killing-time, sight-seeing" tour, we got some burgers and went back to keep our vigil for the "standing room only line" so we could be first.  

On about 4:00, this really cool guy with really curly hair (kind of like an Afro) walked by and someone from Bogart's opened the door and he walked in.  Whew, so tired of just waiting, thank goodness the restaurant is open....yeah.  So we went to the door, but it didn't open; locked again.  Paul and I went back to the nice wooden bench at the bus stop near the club/restaurant and sat down, prepared to wait a little more.  It was one of the few times I remember really enjoying his company.  He was like a kid anticipating his birthday cake.  Everybody that went by, he'd say, "I think that might be the band....do you think that he's with the band....????"  I couldn't believe him; Kenny was my obsession, not his....or so I had thought.  

5:00 p.m. now, Bogart's double doors open again and out walks this curly headed guy.  He comes over and sits down by us.  Strikes up a right fine conversation, too.  Eventually, we admit we've been there since early morning waiting to get in to see Loggins and his band.  He winks at me and say, "don't worry....I know someone who can get you in."  He told us to wait right where we were and he'd be back in about an hour.  After he left, Paul and I just thought he was a really nice, kinda crazy hippie.  Another half hour or so passes, our butts are tired...we stand, we walk, we sit....and then, three guys walk by carrying instruments.  Paul turns and in an obvious, indiscret way whispers very loudly, "I think that him, I think that's Kenny Loggins!" just like a kid, yep.  I said that I didn't think that was him.  Well, maybe.  Paul's voice gets louder, louder...and the three guys walking by start chuckling as they passed through Bogart's double doors.  Ah-hah, now the doors are open.  

Paul's hungry.  He wants dinner and there's plenty of time to indulge in a great steak, wine, cheese....blah, blah, blah.  He wants to go in.  I want to stay and wait to get in line.  Besides we told this George guy that we would wait like he asked.  I won the argument.  George returns.  Slides over to me where we are sitting on the bench and speaks quietly circling our attention 'round his gentleness.  

George turned out to be George Hawkins, ones of the best bass players I'd ever seen!  Yep, he was Kenny's bass player.  He gave me a hug, shook Paul's hand, and as he departed into Bogart's said, "I've got it all fixed.  You don't have to wait in line; go have a good time until it's concert time; you don't have to be first in line; don't worry about that.  When you get to the doorman, just tell him, that you are Paul and Jo and that George had talked to you about us."  Exit George, again.

Okay, so now we are really flipping out. We are the definition of giddy, silly kids.   We walk around a little more and then decide we're going to get something to eat.  So, into Bogart's we go.  Ummmm, steak......ummmmm wine.  Across our booth were several tables and there were some guys sitting there eating.  Paul, again, whispers VERY LOUDLY, "I think that's the band, I think that's the rest of the band!"   This time, one of these guys turned around and said, "yes, it is."  Blush red.  Blush, blush.  He then got up and came over to us.  Well, since I hadn't my glasses on because I wanted to look COOL, I hadn't realized that this particular guy, this one was, indeed, Kenny Loggins himself.  Well, I was in 7th heaven and so was Paul.  Kenny sat down and we had a great conversation.  We talked music a little (as at that time I was a musician, too, but mostly classical; we talked song lyrics and Paul told him I wrote poetry.  He told me that he'd like me to put some of my songs on a tape and hear them, as well as hear my poetry.  NOW THIS WAS TOO UNBELIEVABLE -- what a teenie boopper I was...hehehe.  In reality, he seemed to be a really modest, shy person and didn't stay very long.  He and his crew, all but George, disappeared. George stayed with us and we shared dinner.  What a great nite!  

When it was time that the line out front might start forming, we went out and did what George said, trusting we would get in.  But we were so elated from the experience, I think we would have been fine if we hadn't.  It turned out that the doorman did remember Paul and Jo.  Not only did we get into the concert -- you got it -- we ended up in the first row as guests of the band.  

George, I found out a few years later became the bass player for Fleetwood Mac (another of my favorite, many favorite bands).  

There's another chapter to this story but not tonight.

This was One Great Memory and I want to thank you guys for pulling it out of me.   to all and Peace!

iliana
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297 posted 2004-07-31 02:31 AM


Karen, I forgot to thank you for the link and the wonderful poem drawing me there.  
serenity blaze
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298 posted 2004-07-31 02:55 AM


Jo? "yer 'alright'!" and I love Kenny too! click click click thinking:

Yep. Saw him too, solo tho, at my beloved Saenger Theater in..oh forget the year.

(sheesh)



Now I've got a dozen memories bouncing around my head, and I happen to be sitting here with two of the biggest groupies ever.

I call them stalkers, but they refer to themselves as fans who happen to collect autographs and memorabilia.

Most folks we've met have been just that--folks. It still amazes me how gracious the majority of these folks are too--considering I am rather a private nobody m'self, and I don't tolerate unnannounced company very well.

(Maybe it helps that most we meet up with these days are now on the casino circuit? and I know, I know, I don't think "nice" at times, huh?)


Which reminds me...this Sunday is my second wedding anniversary. Our engagement was announced at just such a casino show.

The Shirelles were playing in one of those golden oldie revues, and my husband & I attended and had a good ole time during the first set. They hadn't yet played their memorable hit, and I had this idea.

I wanted to surprise the fiance' with a song dedication so I slipped through the barricades and asked security to bring them a note.

I didn't have to wait long when I was escorted onto the bus to talk to Shirley Ashton Reeves.

"You're the one getting married soon?"

"Yep."

"You're just now getting married after 'going steady' for 26 years?"

"I didn't wanna rush into anything."

I grinned.

"Our daughter will be the maid of honor and our son is 'best man'!" I laughed.

She was shaking her head in disbelief.

"This is just too good to pass up..."

She then told me not to worry about a thing, she'd take care of the details.

I returned to my seat then, trying not to grin too wide, and hoping that my husband would at least hear the dedication, as he's hard of hearing from years of leaning on amps as a "roadie."

We enjoyed the remainder of the show, and I kept my secret until it came time for her to close the show with the hit that the crowd had come to hear--"Going to the Chapel".

Then I heard our names--much to my shock (and dismay) we were being summoned to the stage to dance!

Now as I've said before, I'm fairly shy in social situations, so it took about five minutes for them to convince me to stand up, much less make that loooooonnnnnng trek through the crowd, and UP the stairs. (She was explaining our lengthy engagement as this was going on.)

Now, I was wearing one of my long hippy-type skirts and I feared one of my famous moments of klutz, so I gathered up the hem and bravely stepped up to dance.

I was so embarrassed, but I got through it alright I suppose. But I was grateful when the song was over, and I curtsied and my fiance' bowed, and we thanked Shirley and the band for their graciousness.

As we returned to our seats, I overheard a guy who looked at us with suspicion:

"That was set up!" he sniffed.

sigh

yeah bud, I planned it just that way for 26 years...



iliana
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299 posted 2004-07-31 03:15 AM


  What a great memory and story, Karen!  26 years....you do have fortitude or else it's loooovve!  I love that song....as a matter of fact I love all their songs.  

I just finished my big deadline...haven't spent much time here the last few days.  Tonight, I'm trying to do some catch up.  I had a real good journey through this garden tonight.  Sure am glad it's here.  

Sunshine
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300 posted 2004-07-31 07:25 AM


Jo?  I knew it...
I just knew you'd be "alright!"

~*~

Serene one...I thought that wedding was yesterday...good gads...how did two years slip by?

Do I wish a happy?  Or just give a to see you through it all?  Or both?  Let me know...I'm ready with both...and then some...

Jo, I loved your story...

Karen...I saw you stepping up onto that stage.

~*~

What keeps me amazed as I look around this tender garden, are the varied and various writing styles of all of our moths, butterflies, and flowers.  Even beams of light skip around in varied and sundry ways.  

It is truly a Garden Party in here...and when the shrubs, bushes and trees start talking [the males] then it becomes a glorious midsummer's valley of intrique and delight, fancy free in its sincerity and honest release of inhibitions...

Sigh.

It smells so good in here...

Janet Marie
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301 posted 2004-07-31 07:48 AM


Nancy and Chris...those memories and photos are priceless... so cool...thank you for sharing.

Sen? ... your generosity garden continues to grow more and more lovely...and best part? No weeds.

These concert stories are worth gold..all the memories being exchanged are....
These sharings of spirit are so full of heart equity...
mothy-heart-hugs to all here.

just wanted to stop in and say hello, took a little quiet morning time to catch up before another day of real estate adventures begin... We had 2 inches of rain Friday early morn... most of the houses we looked at yesterday had lake front property..IN THE BASEMENTS!!   *sigh* ...
I already have that here in this house...why go to the trouble of moving?? sheeesh.
Im surprised my landlord hasnt raised the rent for all the scenic creeks that flow thru this basement...LOL

Anyway...we search on...looking for a groovy kitchen and hopefully dry basement.

Ya see when ya live in the midwest...(nick named Tornado Alley)..basements are something we hold out for. LOL

But this whole moving thing is such a pain...
Still cant convince the family that a BAGO ON THE BEACH would be soooooo cool.
Where is their sense of adventure???
Where are their priorities???

So forgive me the many poems missed...I've hardly been home for the past 3 weeks...we've looked at about 50 houses now...and drove right on by half that amount. LOL

I keep asking the agent...
WHERE IS THE BEACH FRONT PROPERTY????

Have a groovy day gals and guys.


serenity blaze
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302 posted 2004-07-31 07:55 AM


Kari? Well, not sure if it answers your question, but myself? I will be observing the sabbat--Lammas.

There's a story behind it of course, but it's kind of sad.

In retrospect, I believe I deliberately chose that date because it coincided with the estimated date of my Dad's final chemo treatment date--about a month after his final dose. Y'see, I'd had it all planned.

He was going to get better, and he would be there to "give me away".

He tried very hard to make it too, but I was in denial. He'd told me in the hospital I should just bring the justice of the peace there and I said, "no--you're going to make it."

I guess I screwed up again, because not only did my Dad not make it through July, my future father-in-law passed away unexpectedly the following week as well.

I spent that August 1 greeting the mourners at his wake, just eight days after my Dad's services.

So when it came time to choose a date again, I figured I'd been so stubborn about August 1 that I might as well keep the date.

We stopped at the cemetary immediately after the nuptials and I left my Dad my bouquet.

I guess it's just as well.

I will never allow myself to be "given" away from my Dad anyhow. He's half of me, so that is pretty much impossible.

And please, folks, don't go thinking I'm horribly sad. It has been a very rough ride these past few years, but I think I am finally coming to some sense of peace.

They are all with me--every time I share them with all of you.

So...thanks.



now tell me some stories?

And see, Jan my moth-groovy lady, you are proof that there is much in life to celebrate!

love you

Sunshine
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303 posted 2004-07-31 08:05 AM


Yes, Ser, I remember all of that.  It was a really rough, tumbling time for you, and I ached to get down there and see you through it.  I so want to come back to your neck of the woods...

Let me go find a story.  I think I see one rumbling around somewhere...

ah...a memory is stirring...

~*~

JM...no kidding...basements are the must have...and if one is lucky, they're dry.  Find a house on a small knoll, m'dear...we stay a bit drier that way...

Sunshine
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304 posted 2004-07-31 08:38 AM


The First Round

It’s too bad that our intuition kicks in after the fact, sometimes.  But on the other hand, I’ve two bright spots in my life over a good idea gone bad…

Oh, my mind and body tried SO hard to tell me I was making the worst moves of all times.  

I mean, my folks tried to gently tell me that maybe I should wait on going through with that first marriage and all.

If there is one thing that I’ve been told over and over again by several well-meaning people, and that is, I have a very low self-esteem problem.  No kidding.  But, hey, someone has to be in that group of folk so that others look good, right?

You see…the first love got all the good stuff.  He got the virgin, he got in the first jab *smile* and…he fairly convinced me in all silent aspects of demeanor that if I didn’t marry him, no one else would want me.  [I had the distinct impression I was now damaged goods…and he let me continue to think that way.]  I opted to at least get my first year of college under my belt.  While this was going on, my mother learned that, as we talked of marriage plans, this guy was going to whisk me 2/3rds the way across the nation.  That didn’t sit well, so she quit talking to everyone, as I have spoken to somewhere in one of these two garden parties.

Well, my older “adopted” sister tried to gently convince me that I needed to let this guy “grow up”.  Oh, I felt so old and wise when I told her that I would help him do so…he needed some direction, you see, and I wanted to be there so watch him meet his successes.  [Oh, the things over which I convinced myself….]

My grandmother mumbled things like “babies and bathwater…”

My aunt just smiled that enigmatic smile of hers…she was on husband number three…

Skip forward then, to the night before the wedding.  There I lay in my little virginal bed, trying to see, in my mind, his face.  I couldn’t even picture it.  I got out of bed and looked at a photo, and wondered, “who the hell IS this guy?”

But we had some 250 people coming tomorrow.  I couldn’t back out now.  It’s just jitters, right?

Sigh.

Saturday morning found me wide awake – I hadn’t slept all night.  [This is the cute part.  I heard Mom get up, walk quietly to the bedroom door, close it, and “snap” lock it.  What in the….oh!  OH!  Oh, wow….after 20 years, and they still DO IT???  Wow….]

I tiptoed down the hallway and closed the hallway door, and went about making coffee and doing little things to get my mind off of what was coming up.  Later Mom came in first…and she, not being a morning person, was smiling.  I grinned, and didn’t say a word.  I was just glad that I had always been right in one thing – that my parents were very, very much in love.

The household started moving around, getting ready for “the day”.  I put off the nagging feeling that I couldn’t picture my fiancé’s face from the night before, I just kept putting one foot in front of the other.  I was going to dress at the church, so we all headed for the cars – the wedding was at 11:00…we were out the door by 10:00.  Plenty of time.

The Methodist Church was pretty – the flowers were in place, I was told to “quit doing and go get dressed”…so amid the smiling faces of my grandmother, my aunt, and my mother, I literally stepped into my gown from the seat of a chair so we wouldn’t muss the hairdo and all.  [Hmmmm, I have an old photo of that somewhere, I think.  If I can find it…you’ll all have a great laugh….but on second thought, I may need to send it at request via e-mail….I wouldn’t want to have to censor myself…*wink*]

So we took a few photos, I’m not thinking of anything except if everyone else was doing ok, when the door opened and my brother said, “it’s time.”

I froze.  

I mean, I wasn’t going anywhere.  I couldn’t talk.  I couldn’t move.  I wasn’t really sure if I was breathing.  Voices of my family seemed to be very far away.  No, the bodice wasn’t too tight…it was that inner voice saying, “don’t go there”.  

From a far away distance, even though she was but two feet away, my grandmother said, “here, I brought this, in case,” and someone held a vial of ammonia under my nose.  Well, that brings one back to reality in a thump.

They had me sit down for a few minutes as my knees started to buckle, and then with a resolve from only God knows where, I stood up and said, “let’s get this over with.”  You would’ve thought I was walking to the guillotine.  

Then, even after all of the rehearsal, and with all of the church to hear…my Dad, who had been given three alternate ways to say the words by which to give me away [although similar to you, Serenity, they were only words, and I was never far from his heart], the minister asked, “and who gives this woman away,” my Dad, in his deep, wonderful voice, said, for all to hear… “My mother and I do.”

Ah, slips of the tongue are wonderful ice-breakers.

But after the I do’s, in the receiving line, well, I don’t know that anyone has seen a bride cry quite that much.  Oh, a smile was there, tremulous, wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into, wondering if I was in some kind of nightmare…and there he was, looking for all in the world as if he had truly swallowed a canary….

For better or worse…



serenity blaze
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305 posted 2004-07-31 08:41 AM


sorry.

One memory just led to another there.

It's different now tho. I can't explain it, or even how it came to be different, but it's not that wailing helplessness I feel anymore. I'm looking forward again.

and I am smiling.

I feel like I just looked back upon an imposing mountain and I think, "Wow. I climbed that?"

Not bad, Karen, not bad. I might not have done it gracefully and without complaint, but here I am.



NOW PUT UP WITH ME!


serenity blaze
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306 posted 2004-07-31 08:49 AM


grin?

"He got the virgin"

I happen to think that virgins are highly over-rated m'self.

and oh my Kari, now you've gone and done it!

lmao...my wedding day? I woke to find my Chou, my neighbor, in tears. Her mother died. I spent the morning on her couch with her head in my lap, crying with her and stroking her head. Then I went home and started drinking. By afternoon, I was locked in the bedroom with my half gallon of whiskey, still crying. HIS mother was banging on the door, pleading while he yelled it was all "off."

She settled him down, picked the lock on the door and convinced me to just go get it over with. Just as we were about to leave, the mailman came. He brought us the A.O.L. bill, and A.O.L. had charged me by the minute for part of that month, because "dummy hubby" had canceled my account and I said, "oh yeah?" and just continued to use it!

We were calling it off again on the way there...

shaking my head

it's funny now sure, but sheesh!

I just didn't wanna do it...


serenity blaze
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307 posted 2004-07-31 08:51 AM


and I'm laughing.

How can our lives be so different and still so much the same???

Kit McCallum
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308 posted 2004-07-31 08:53 AM


I don’t know if you all realize this, but you’ve been keeping me smiling
since day one of Karen’s two journal threads.  

I’m one of those “silent ones” who has just been reading and
enjoying everyone’s thoughts, memories and stories along the way.  

So ... I just wanted to pop in to say hello, and thank all of you for being ...

Well ...  

Simply ... wonderful.  

serenity blaze
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309 posted 2004-07-31 08:57 AM


Kit? WHAT A WONDERFUL SURPRISE!

gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

and um, tell us a story?

what about your wedding day?

(I can try, can't I?)


serenity blaze
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310 posted 2004-07-31 09:06 AM


Kit? I've been waiting a long time to debut the smilie you made for me--and ta-da!





(and I know, I don't play fair, huh?)

Hugs, lady K!



Sunshine
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311 posted 2004-07-31 09:09 AM


Isn't it nice when they sort of pop out of the woodwork that way?  I always do wonder who's reading whom...
serenity blaze
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312 posted 2004-07-31 09:13 AM


It IS lovely! And now I think I'll try to get myself quiet and keep my fingers crossed.

I tend to go off like an untied balloon through the forum when I get excited and I don't want to frighten folks away...

maybe I should try some sleep?

(eeeeeeeegads I'm nuts)

stories...

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyummies!


Kit McCallum
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313 posted 2004-07-31 09:49 AM


ROFL … my wedding day Karen?  LOL, OK, plug your nose as you read, and I’ll tell. You’ll understand why, in a minute.

Ummmm, OK, let’s see.  My parents lived in the country, quite a ways out of the city, so I had moved in with my soon-to-be husband’s household so I could be closer to school.  Boy, that was about 21 years ago now.  

I was going to college – he was an apprentice carpenter.  When I moved in, I was given a room at the far end of the hall opposite my husband’s.  His mom chaperoned us with such expertise, it was scary.  If she heard me sneak down the hallway for a goodnight kiss, she’d say “Keep that door open you too!” lol.  All was innocent under that roof. We’d planned a year long engagement, so I could be finished school and we could afford a little apartment.  We had a wedding date set, had the big church booked, the hall booked, the whole enchilada. We only had a year to wait.  

However … once I’d moved in, and found out his mom was clairvoyant, and the best darn chaperone this world has ever seen, lol, (bless her heart) we bumped the wedding up. I called up my mom and said, “What would dad think if we had the wedding in 3 months at our house?” Mom screeched!  He’d be ecstatic!  He’ll finally get some use out of that living room (it was one of those big old formal ones – the kind no one ever walked into, let alone sat in). Such a waste of space my dad would always say.

So ….. mom and I went into a flurry. I bought the 3rd wedding dress I tried on, we sent out invitations with lightening speed, ordered the bridesmaids dresses out of the Sears catalog, hired a small caterer, and found an apartment and signed a lease.  We were all set. No time to waste!  The fastest wedding preparations you’ve ever seen without a shotgun setting the timeframe, lol.

My wedding dress needed no alterations and hung in a plastic cover discreetly in my bedroom closet at my husband’s parents house since I was still living there.  

One morning, only a few short weeks before the big day, I woke up to a strange smell.  I sniffed the air and wondered what on earth my mother-in-law-to-be was cooking for breakfast!  It was a horrible greasy strong almost garlicky stench … ohhhhh, it was strong!!!

I got up and went downstairs, and we all gathered in the kitchen.  No … It wasn’t food.

It was skunks!  A whole FAMILY of skunks had moved in under our front porch and sprayed the heck out of their new-found den.  It lasted for days. It permeated the house. The furniture stunk, the curtains stunk, our clothes stunk, our hair stunk, even my husband’s and his dad’s lunchboxes stunk when they opened them up at their construction site for lunch.

Over the next few days, we had the skunks “re-located” but the smell insisted on staying behind. We rented an Ionizer of some sort.  Some mechanical box device that sent out positive ions to combat the negative ions and neutralize the horrible smell.  We had to turn it on and leave it going all day long and I’d come home from school and hold my breath, run in, turn it off and run back outside. Get a fresh breath, run in and open all the windows. Back and forth I’d go, then sit outside for a half an hour until it was safe to go back inside.

Well … it worked, I’m happy to say.  Things got back to normal, everything eventually smelled better and all was well.  

All was well that is ... until a few days before the wedding when I went into the closet to take out my wedding dress that had been smoldering there in the plastic in my closet.  Ohhhhhhh, the horror, rofl!  It stunk to high heaven!!!  The plastic had been like a breeding ground or something. It held in ALL the smell inside!  It was like something out of Amityville Horror.  I half expected a live skunk to come flying out at me as I finished unzipping the bag!  

Well, the rest was history.  We rented that machine again, laid out my wedding dress, and blasted it for two days solid, hoping the smell would come out of the lace and frills and fabrics.  Let’s just put it this way ...

To this day, when I hear “Here Comes The Bride” … all I can picture is a bunch of smiling family and friends eagerly watching a young bride come down the aisle in her father’s living room, and everyone grinning at me as they teased me by pinching their fingers over their noses, rofl!

It was a good day … honest. But no one ever let me forget it, lol.

Sunshine
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314 posted 2004-07-31 09:59 AM


Well, that story stunk to high heaven...LOL...oh Kit...I think you've topped us all...

more, please!

serenity blaze
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315 posted 2004-07-31 10:06 AM


I knew I smelled a story there...

priceless, that is just priceless!

Thank you so much, Kit!

You just made my day.

What a sweetheart! and a great story too!

(so don't be a stranger now, k?)



c'mon everybody, we're taking music stories, wedding stories, music at wedding stories, hair stories, animal stories...



thanks all


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316 posted 2004-07-31 10:29 AM


  ... and you just happened to make this Kit!!      LOL. These stories are all so wonderful. My hubby constantly asks me from the other room, "what are you laughing at?" or when he sees me dabbing my eyes with a kleenex as I sniffle my way to get another cup of tea, "another story make ya cry darlin'?"  I just wave a hand at him as if to answer, "don't ask."
   This has to be what my Mom meant by repeatedly telling us, "always remember to "share."     Hugs all round!

Enchantress
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317 posted 2004-07-31 11:47 AM


My gosh!!  I've been reading since I got up and laughing so hard!

These stories are wonderful!

Kit..great to see you here!!  And, I couldn't ever top that story!
Karen, Karilea, Jo,..all of you!...what a sharing group!

Gawd I love this place!

Have to run...in the meantime...hugs all around.  

iliana
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318 posted 2004-07-31 12:37 PM


Kit, that story takes the cake....(actually, wondering how your guests were able to take their cake??lol)!  Really, that is one I'd love to share with my mom.  I wish everone would put their stories in the prose section so we could e-card friends and family with them (of course, with your premission).  

Karen & Karilea -- Of course, "I'm okay."  Now that my issue is out for this month...I can spend a little more time around here.  Hubby and son are off to move my daughter's things out of her Manhattan apartment, leaving Sunday for almost a week.  The boys will get to stop by my Mom's farm in Ohio on the way up from Texas....wish I could go, but I've a business to run I cannot leave.  I'll probably be around a lot in the evenings.  No way that I'll feel lonesome with all you guys around.  

Karen - I had to get the tissue out this time with your story of your wedding.     My first marriage was at a courthouse...my husband's idea....our witnesses were pulled off the street and the woman still had curlers in her hair.  I should have know things would never work.  My father died about 12 years before my second marriage.  But you can bet your patutti that I had my church wedding this time; my big brother gave me away.  

Karilea -- That was a great story...there's a moral to it too, of course.  Parents and friends are usually right!  But then, again, the things we learn when we don't listen to them....sigh.  I am almost convinced your first husband and mine were "related!"  

Chris, hi ya!  

Mornin' everybody else!  Have a great day!  

iliana
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319 posted 2004-07-31 12:38 PM


Hi ya, Nancy Lee!  Let's hear yours???!  
Mysteria
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320 posted 2004-07-31 02:18 PM


Laughing at Kit, if the dress didn't fit - hey, just roll it up right?     You are priceless m'friend, priceless.

My wedding stories are too long to maintian the sequences of events, so you tell me if these were good omens:

Wedding #1 - Was a publicity stunt and annulled after less than 17 hours, a long story and I have to be very careful due to legal issues related to that one    

Wedding #2 - His grandmother cancelled the catering. (That old lady was wiser than I gave her credit for, and I should have listened, but then I wouldn't have Todd.)  Omen #1 - divorced within 1 year 5 months)

Wedding #2 - The minister whose name was actually Reverend Valentine backed up into the oscillating fan.  It ripped off his robe exposing a bare man only in underwear, socks with garters, and shoes.  He had to take a time out to compose himself?  I should have run for the hills.  (That was Omen #2 - divorced as quickly as I could safely do so.)

Wedding #3 - Omen #3 - The power went out ~ there was no light at the church, no power to cook all the food being prepared at my future sister-in-law's.  My husband-to-be left the church to go to a store and purchase candles for everyone, talk about desperate. I was left there in that chapel with everyone sitting in the dark as he and his cousin went to fetch candles.  1/2 an hour or so passes and they are not back, and my temper tells me to bolt.  In he walks with that charming smile and a box of those white emergency candles, so a service got performed.  Now the food - salads no meats!  So we ordered pizza!  That marriage lasted about 5 years.

I have given up and refuse to try marriage ever again, but when I hear Kit's story about a skunk, should there be a next time, I will have one in reserve       Obviously there was more to dissolving these marriages, than caterers, and incidents, but I have learned one thing now, that anyone will tell you who they are, you just have to listen.

iliana
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321 posted 2004-07-31 02:25 PM


Sharon -- Hi ya!  OMG...omens....yes, I think there are some.  You are so funny!  But, now you have my curiousity peaked about that first one.  *hugs*....jo
Aenimal
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322 posted 2004-07-31 02:59 PM


LMAO here, you all sooo crazeh. I'm laughing through gritted teeth though, the source of pain I shall now share for your personal amusement.

There are certain days it's better to stay in bed and obviously today was one of those. I awoke about a half hour ago, yes I realize it's 3pm but I didn't sleep well least night (a Double Big Mac combo returned to haunt me).

Dying of thirst I came downstairs for water but as it was warm so I went for some ice. Stupidly, I rested a full cup of water on the edge of the freezer as I groggily(is that a word?) fumbled for some ice. The cup falls(good thing it was plastic), I slip on the water and into a lovely triplelutz/pirouette before landing square on my knee. In agony I rolled around right into the puddle and when I finally pulled myself up I wiped cut myself on the door frame.

Ahem.....yeah. So I'm groggy,wet and pissy, that is until I read some of your mishaps.

iliana
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323 posted 2004-07-31 03:02 PM


Oh, Aenimal, you need one of these
Local Rebel
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324 posted 2004-07-31 03:48 PM


Most of my road stories aren't as entertaining as Bob Hope and Bing Crosby Karen, or, the ones that are probably wouldn't be suitable for this forum, but, maybe this one will pass journal muster.

I was riding up and down the main drag of a town in Georgia looking for a venue.  All I had was an address scribbled on a gas receipt and I couldn't find the street that I'd written down.  The rest of the band and the roadies had taken the bus but I wasn't able to join them, so I'd flown into a nearby city and had rented a Mercury Cougar that I'd driven to location.  I'd already been through town a couple of times when a local yokel fell in behind me and started following.  

On my third pass through town I finally saw the street on my right just as I had already gone by it.  I turned around in the parking lot of a greasy spoon and sure enough -- Barney Fife stayed right on top of me.  As soon as I entered the destination street he blue-lighted me and I pulled the car over and rolled down the window.

Two more police cars converged upon the scene and I could see the head deputy approaching the rear of my vehicle with his pistol drawn.  He ordered me to step out of the car. I complied.  As he kept the pistol trained carefully on me another officer turned me around against the car forcibly and began patting me down.  The head monkey in charge asked me if I'd ever had the license plate registered to a Mercedes-Benz.  I told him it was a rental car and I'd never had the license plate registered at all.  Wrong answer.

I was tossed in the back of a squad car and driven to the municipal building downtown.  When I exited the car the town sheriff was waiting for us all outside.  He quickly approached and began taking the cuffs off me as he apologized,

"I'm real sorry about the mix-up Mr. Jones but I have a new dispatcher and she didn't know that the abbreviation MERC stood for Mercury and not Mercedes!"

As I was leaving to get my car that they towed to the station I thought I heard him tell the deputy to put the bullet back in his pocket.

Aenimal
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325 posted 2004-07-31 04:09 PM


Thanks illana

Lol at Reb, not at you, with you.

A Music tale:


Couple of years back my friends and I were at a Radiohead show maybe 5 rows out from the stage. If you know Radiohead then you know they're not exactly the kind of band you'd expect to have a racous moshpit. Well we were wrong.

Once Radiohead appeared their was a huge swell to the stage and over the course of a few songs things got worse. So bad that the usually reserved singer started shouting "Eh you #@$#%@ wankers better quit it!" even pointing out specific 'wankers' in the crowd.One of those wankers happened to be a very very large guy in our section who kept causing trouble, including bumping one of my friends earlier.

As a grisled veteran of moshpits (i just wanted to say grisled veteran) I was fine but a few of my friends wanted out. As we were about to leave I noticed that 3 teenage girls were getting crushed near the front so grabbing one of my friends I went in deeper. One girl was particularly horrified and another looked like she had been hit, so using my body as a shield(this is when i still had a body that could be used for things other than scientific/science fiction research) I made enough space for the girls to get through. It was hard to acknowledge their thank you's but I managed to smile between grimaces as the blows rained upon my back and head.

Once the girls were out my friend looked around and asked me how the hell we were going to get out. Once the pounding had stopped I actually was having fun being only feet away from the stage but seeing the look on my pit rookie's friend's face and the crush of the crowd getting worse I needed a plan of action.

Well when the going gets tough...
I asked my friend to turn around and put out his elbows. He complied but before he could finish asking why I had picked him up and running full steam, used him as a battering ram to get out. Picture the parting of the Red sea in the Ten Commandments. I apologized
to my friend but he was too busy laughing to notice, that is, until that very very big jackass I mentioned earlier was directly
in our path. "Raph slow down! Seriously Raph slow down!"  Of course I didn't and we torpedoed the sucker not stopping until we were well at the back were we hid for the rest of the concert. Not as funny or interesting as the stories in here an amusing tale amongst me friends. Ah the good old days     Wonder what ever happened to old batterin' ram?

Mysteria
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326 posted 2004-07-31 04:27 PM


OMG, I am so sorry, I DO need a life!  I went by the computer and thought I would see what was going on in here.  Raph you are lucky you didn't tear a ligament, and if it was not so funny, your incident is very sad. Tip:  Always put a glass or bottle of water in the fridge before bed.  While I am at it - let's remind people about Sea's tip about staying cool just 'cause it works!  Put your sheets in the freezer before you jump on them or in them to beat the heat.  Any who...

Raph’s puddle lead me to my Jell-O wrestling memory.  Why you ask – Jello-O wrestling?  First, ask anyone who knows me, I hate "any mess," and was dubbed Martha almost all my life here,  but I was dared by "friends" that I couldn't stand to do it.  Well like any blonde, tell them they can't do something,  and they are first in line, I think it is just inbred.  Besides, it was a charity drive for Children's Hospital, so I figured how bad could it be?  I had seen the women wrestlers on the poster, and they were not too big, and I was told they would be acting most of the time so we just played along.  

All my girlfriends were there waiting, and I couldn’t back out now.  So there I was on some sort of a waterbed type thingee, (it was raised off the ground and bounced is all I remember,) when up climbed, not I replace that verb with “jumped,”  a 25 foot Amazon in braids yet! Run says my stomach, but I look at all those girls who said I couldn’t do this and stubbornness won out.  A bell dings, and rushing towards me is a fate worse than death I swear!  This Amazon then started pushing green Jell-O where no Jell-O should ever go.  Now considering my athletic abilities at that time were cheer-leading and running after boys I hung in there really well, until ... I tried to stand up to jump on her to see how she liked it.  I bonked my head on the referee's chin making him cut his lip, slid into the Amazon’s belt buckle and cut my leg big time on it, then slid off that Jell-O-coated contraption onto the concrete floor and the tore my cartilage in my left knee, and it turned out I needed arthroscopic surgery to repair cartilage. I really HAD fallen and couldn't get up so they got an ambulance, and then they called the match because of obviously what they deemed was my stupidity not hers. (Well it beat her winning.)  Like I was 5'6 and she was 25 feet tall, what part of that doesn't make sense - well okay she was about 5,11 or 6 ft. but still?   I wanted to sue them for all the damage (mostly being thrown around by that Amazon, but they reminded me of the release form I signed.) Shoot!  In later years that stupid incident cost me tons of pain in that knee and when I went to have surgery when I tore all the ligaments in that same knee skiing, I found out that dumb doctor had removed the cartilage not repaired it so I did have just cause for a legal suit but too late.

I am so sorry to take up so much space but I truly do have a million stupid stories, and unfortunately each one is all too true.  Nancy Lee and Chris you will appreciate the time I stole the Ontario/Manitoba flag off the pole  at the border going into Falcon Lake for a boyfriend’s breezeway - shall I go there?  I “borrowed” my Dad’s car, loaded it full of girls, and a trunk full of “rot-gut”, but I ended up in jail with three girlfriends to be taught a horrible lesson I tell you I never forgot!  

Nan, Karen, Kit - go read a book you know all these ones.  Anyway when you do get hard up for stories, I have gazillions unfortunately.  I have mellowed some over the years, and won't go as far back as Willow and I when we were young as that would teach kids the wrong things, but there are some cute ones that could be repeated.  Like the time we took the Dean's car, and put it on the roof of the facility building  "for fun" I got caught.  I was UofM's worst nightmare I tell you, and her ladyship Willow, encouraged me all the time. Actually dated a construction guy to get access to the crane that lifted that Volkswagon that time.  Tsk, tsk.

Aenimal
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327 posted 2004-07-31 04:32 PM


Woodstock, Jello wrestling and all, You rock Mysteria lol.
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328 posted 2004-07-31 04:37 PM


WaHoo...the guys are showing up!  Reb, I love your story, and I know there has to be more...

Raph...you poor fellow...I hope you're back in one piece SOON....

girls...what would I ever do without y'all?


Mysteria
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329 posted 2004-07-31 04:38 PM


Oh you two - those stories are something else!  Scary stuff police in foreign city, been there too LOL.

Raph, I wonder if Helga is still around, next time take her to a concert, trust me they will move if she growls.  Now I really need some of Saturday and sun, see you all later.

Iliana - I can not spill the beans publically on Almost Husband #1 - I signed a binding legal document I wouldn't sorry, but believe me when I tell you I would love to.

I did meet the Beatles though will that do?  Ringo was really very nice to me and held my hand to get me past all the male reporters who were bigger than I was.  They stopped at the airport in Winnipeg, and I was working for CKRC radio at the time, and went out with the news guy to the airport to do a story on it. It was very ugly when we got back to the station as we were literally attacked by so many young girls wanting to even touch people that had shaken hands with them etc.  They tore off my top and ripped out patches of my hair and from the parking spot to the door I lost my purse and shoes.  If anyone has pictures of that I would sure appreciate it, as I didn't keep a ton of stuff and am trying to put an album together for my two girls, rough when your life is not computerized LOL, but yours will be at least.

iliana
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330 posted 2004-07-31 04:46 PM


Local Rebel -- those were the days, weren't they.  Sounds like "Easy Rider" all over again.   Enjoyed the story.  
Aenimal
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331 posted 2004-07-31 04:55 PM


You didn't just...omg....no..the Beatles..touched one? Can you tell I'm one of the world's biggest Beatles fanatics? sighs I was so born in the wrong bloody era!
Local Rebel
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332 posted 2004-07-31 04:58 PM


I don't have pics Mysteria... but I was going to ask for some!!!

I would love to have been at that wrestling match.... maybe we can have a re-enactment???  


psssst.... don't tell Raph but I was at a party with McCartney.... years after the Beatles though

Aenimal
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333 posted 2004-07-31 05:00 PM


ARRRRRGGGGhhhh McCartney?! Actually I think he's a bit of a knob now, whatever you do people, don't tell me you met John.
Local Rebel
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334 posted 2004-07-31 05:03 PM


Sunny one... more?  Well, there was the young lady that I met after the gig... who turned out to be the deputy's daughter... but, I'm afraid it wouldn't fly in this forum.  

Iliana -- it was a few days after Easy Rider -- closer to the Big Chill in the 80's...     

serenity blaze
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335 posted 2004-07-31 05:16 PM


Well, well, well.

It worked!

I was told if I just took my manic ass off to couch you guys would creep on in and help yerselves.

heh.

That didn't sound right, now did it?

I swear I feel like I just traveled through time and woke up at the band's house. They all lived together as most bands do at some point, and yes, I was the most consistent female in attendance there. But not for purposes you might think. As I like to say, they tolerated my presence more because I knew how to keep my mouth shut - there were temporary girls there for that other purpose. I once carried in some handlebars (pieces from a bike being rebuilt in the garage) and asked one particularly slutty thing if they were hers.

"No." she answered dumbly.

"Oh, sorry" I replied. "They kind of look like they might fit your head."



and Reb, c'mon, not one roadhouse with chickenwire???

grin

and Raph? I could have used you at Eric Clapton/Muddy Waters show in the Municiple Auditorium back in the early eighties. nod and wince. Festival seating and I lost my footing when the doors opened.

and my my my Mysteria, laughing wicked--I know your secrets but you know mine, so I'll have to leave well enough alone.

I could have told the one about Jim Dandy & Black Oak Arkansas, but bless the man's nasty heart (bless his heart but leave that moldy sock in his pants alone) he really did seem to have mellowed over the years.

I saw him last year and he'd grown fat, wore an eyepatch, and actually leaned on a cane as he sang.

Yep, I could have told that story and laughed alot, but I just looked in the mirror and today I look like his perfect match.

Karma bites.

and gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Keep 'em comin'?

iliana
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336 posted 2004-07-31 05:17 PM


Sharon -- the best jello story I ever heard but so sorry about the knee.  And, tell me, who was your favorite Beatle????  That crane and car tale, OMG! LMAO  

Ralph, you and Sharon, and your knee injury stories....OMG -- I could visualize the elbows into the crowd.  We were at a Jethro Tull concert a couple of weeks before the Who tragedy.  Those crowds....that's another thing you and Sharon both addressed in your memories.  

iliana
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337 posted 2004-07-31 05:22 PM


Karen, more, more.....lol
Nightshade
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338 posted 2004-07-31 05:28 PM


See? Everyone has a story to tell!
I could sit here and read all day. LOL.
Anyone else notice that someone else's memories trigger one or more of your own "similar" happenings? Almost like we are all related!!!   Nawww...couldn't be.

serenity blaze
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339 posted 2004-07-31 05:35 PM


Jo? Chris?

My "list" from "groupie" days is actually pretty short. (in the case of one particular claim to fame it is really short!)



*ahem*

But my stories pale in comparison to Sharon's...I swear that lady is...well, I'll let her tell her stories.

iliana
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340 posted 2004-07-31 05:38 PM


Where do you get these rolling on the floor laughing smilies anyway???  

Karen -- really short, huh?  ahemmmmmm.  lol

Chris -- I think maybe we are all related!

Local Rebel
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341 posted 2004-07-31 06:02 PM


We must be....   

For instance... I knew Jim (Mangrum) Dandy too.. although -- probably not in the way Blazey did... he was in town recently and I was going to call him up -- but, decided against it...

So, K... does he still come to the rescue?  

I know that you and I must have met at some point -- weren't you the girl out in the audience who?  um... nevermind...

Iliana -- if you type rofl between :: you'll get

serenity blaze
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342 posted 2004-07-31 06:06 PM


I just told Sharon I couldn't resist having a poke at ole Jim--revenge for all the times he tried to poke ME! (but no, sir, I never went THERE)

now c'mon Reb, tell the McCartney story...

iliana
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343 posted 2004-07-31 06:17 PM


Reb, thanks....trying it now...
Enchantress
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344 posted 2004-07-31 06:19 PM


I have to say it!!!
gleeeeeee

I go out for the afternoon and come back to so many wild and crazy but true stories..
I'm smilin' big time!

And I am now postive....we ARE all related!!!

Local Rebel
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345 posted 2004-07-31 06:20 PM


There really isn't much to tell.  I was just at a (small, informal) party at a mutual friend's house and there he was.  None of us knew he was going to be there.

If you've heard one roadhouse with chickenwire story you've heard 'em all..   I mean... how entertaining is a story about bad PA systems, flashing chix, and bar fights?

Somebody's wife/girlfriend starts up with somebody else -- yadda yadda yadda, the police come, it's all over, you pack up, you go back to the motel, you throw buckets of ice on each other... didn't James Cameron make a movie?  

serenity blaze
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346 posted 2004-07-31 06:27 PM


yeah, yeah, that's it! I wasn't a groupie, I was a band-aid...

*smirk*

but yeah, I was thinking about the road stories too and they are all the same. Two nights in a row was always bad news. Those kinds of places were best forgotten.

Trouble on Friday, Fights on Saturday--they made up in Church on Sunday so they could work together all week to do it all over again while the band split town...

I still remember your story about the guy who huffed a worm through his nose, tho.

That really is some kinda gross.

*shudder*

iliana
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347 posted 2004-07-31 06:30 PM


Reb, I saw that movie, I think.  Wasn't it about a young reporter trying to build his career by traveling with a band?  Good movie.
Aenimal
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348 posted 2004-07-31 06:35 PM


iliana Almost Famous and yeah, it's a great movie. That one kid, the Zeppelin fanatic, I knew a few guys like him lol. Mind you, my nickname in highschool was Zoso.
Aenimal
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349 posted 2004-07-31 06:37 PM


Karen the Muddy Waters/Clapton reference just reminded me of one of my favourite vinyls. Eric Clapton and the Yardbirds with Sonny Boy Williamson. Loved that thing, but alas, no working amp for my record player and haven't been able to find that album on compact disc.

iliana
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350 posted 2004-07-31 06:38 PM


Believe it or not, I got into the scene on a very small-time scale when I was 19.  I was working in a music store (as I had classical training and was taking a break from college to earn money).  One of the frequent visitors who'd I became friendly with inticed me to bring my flute to his band, along with my electronic organ.  We were small time local; Dayton, OH.  We played mostly private gigs.  Three of those gigs I remember really well.  The first was a graduation party for a bunch of wealthy kids at their private club's pool.  Those kids got so high & roudy I thought our lead guitarist was going to be electrocuted when they began splashing water on him.  The second place that stands out in my mind was the NCO Club at Wright Patterson AirForce Base.  Never again, I told myself....need I say more.    The last was the last.  We played at this dive near University of Dayton, a place called, "The John."  Its attraction was the toilet phone booths.  Disgusting place and our last gig.  Those were, indeed, the days!
GG
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351 posted 2004-07-31 06:40 PM


Guess I need to be at home more often...
By the time I finish reading one post, there are three new ones!
I'm working on it though... I am.

I do need to leave home for awhile more, though
(what I really need is to move... Ahh!).
Just wanted to stop by and say I'm still reading and enjoying whenever I am home and have a chance.

Keep it up ladies.


Always, Alyssa

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
                  Joyce kilmer

serenity blaze
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352 posted 2004-07-31 06:41 PM


Raph? I'll have to check and see if the hubby has it. He plays harp, so it's a good chance he does...and IF we ever get everything arranged over there, we're supposed to be able to burn from vinyls. According to my official computer nerd, anyhow.

Not that I'm suggesting piracy.

Not me. Nope.


serenity blaze
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353 posted 2004-07-31 06:42 PM


and GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ...

toilet telephone booths?

oh, please do elaborate!



just when I thought I'd heard of everything, too...

iliana
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354 posted 2004-07-31 06:43 PM


GG -- welcome home.  Take care & hugs....jo
iliana
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355 posted 2004-07-31 06:45 PM


Karen -- I bet you can imagine what went on in them, too, I'm sure......
iliana
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356 posted 2004-07-31 06:47 PM


Yeah, that's my claim to fame --- playing at the John!  hehehe
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357 posted 2004-07-31 06:48 PM


Making a copy of an album you already own for your own personal use isn't piracy.  

Album...

Did I say Album?

Album.... Album... I haven't used that word in such a long time.... it just sort of rolls off the tongue... Album...

Album

serenity blaze
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358 posted 2004-07-31 06:50 PM


*shaking my head*

I'm trying to restrain m'self.

Sheesh.

Glad the stitches are healed.

and hugs, GG!

Aenimal
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359 posted 2004-07-31 06:50 PM


No no not piracy And yes tis true about the vinyl to cd, just a pain in the butt especially with static and popping.

Keep the stories coming I'll be by later, right now my knee has swollen quite nicely so i'm off to ice it again and then pass out in a painful stupour.

Aenimal
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360 posted 2004-07-31 06:54 PM


Hey Reb you have to have some equipment mishap stories. I once nearly killed one of my guitarists when one of my crashes went flying(the wingnut was loose) across the room. Luckily he ducked in time but he still has nightmares when he sees the Sybian logo. lol ow. Okay I'm really off

Raph has hobbled out of the building.

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361 posted 2004-07-31 06:54 PM


Boy do I know a lot of right times but wrong places.  Like it was the right time to see the Beatles [just off the Sullivan Show] while they were still in California - they were going to be up in San Luis Obispo at the college...

But...age was against me.  And the four free tickets that one of the four of my closest friends received meant that we four...were going to get to go...

until my Mom said..."you're much too young..."  [It sucks being 6 mo. to a year younger than your crowd...] so...they all went, but they never crowed about the good time they had in front of me.  Just that it was "ok".  Now?  I wish they had told me more...

~*~

But as far as Country Western artists, I've seen my share of them...Willie, Waylon and the boys...[I do love the guy who plays the harmonica...]; Randy Travis; Kenny Rodgers; Hank Williams [now, that crowd was a bit rowdy...]; Dylan; Oak Ridge Boys; Statler Brothers; Johnny and June; Alan Jackson; Pam Tillis...and several others...Gordon Lightfoot; the Rock and Roll shows where the elders get together and recreate heaven...

Two fun moments in the real...Sawyer Brown had just won Star Search and we took the two older daughters to a restaurant/lounge where they had been booked to play before the win...and bless their hearts, they kept the engagement...the night was slow and there weren't many there...

but hubby and I had just watched their win and we were excited to see some new, young, promising stars ready to rise to their zenith.  The girls were oh, let's see...about 13 and 11, I believe, and after the show they asked if they could go "backstage and get autographs"...which I thought would be OK, but when they didn't come back after a few moments, momma hen went searching...

and there they were, all girly giggles and squiggles and there was the entire band...the tallest one who later left said, You must be Mom...and drew me into a huge hug.  Now the boys were giving my little girls 8x10 photos, signed...and yep...Mom got one too, plus a lot of kisses on the cheek...

The other close up and personal encounter was with Roy Clark at the Drury Theater in Chicago...we got tickets late, but ha!  They were in the front row!  For someone [me] who appreciates talent, I had an unobstructed view of Roy and his prodigal musical "son" who was following in his footsteps...

after the show, Roy came out into the audience and started down the front row, shaking hands and kissing "some" cheeks...he was hot, tired, but I still appreciated his damp kiss...

and of course, there was the have to have show a few years ago - Neil Diamond...

and Neil Young...gads, I'm sure memories are going to start flooding back of all of the concerts I've been too - when I finally got "of age"...

serenity blaze
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362 posted 2004-07-31 06:54 PM


and Reb? A sad note for you--when my son was about four years old he fabricated a phonograph out of a coathanger and paper plates.

It just made me sad, somehow.

But the tradition of vinyls continues in this family. For our move we just completed a set of built ins to house a collection of well over 5,000.

and yanno? the quality of sound isn't really comparable, but oh...the sentiment.

We have the WHITE Beatles white album, and so forth, and the covers are so great. sigh sigh sigh and of course, many of them are signed too...

and Kari...I'm going to be searching for those pics of Charlie Daniels. The hubby roadied for him for a couple of years. Not many stories to tell about that one though. That particular Mr. Daniels runs a fairly tight ship.

iliana
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363 posted 2004-07-31 06:55 PM


Geez, I just told my son what I wrote about being in a band because I don't think he knew this.  You know what he said!!!  "Well yeeaaah, wasn't everybody from your generation!"  I think he knows more than I give him credit for sometimes!
iliana
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364 posted 2004-07-31 06:58 PM


Karen -- 5000; now that's a collection.  Remember when we'd all sit around in circles jammin', passin', and talkin' whoofers and tweeters?
iliana
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365 posted 2004-07-31 07:09 PM


Neil Diamond, Sunshine?  WOW!  My husband saw him a few years ago at the Rodeo in Houston.  Steve, that's my husband, grew up in India; went to Woodstock (no not the festival, the ex-pat school).  About the only record albums he could get there were the Beatles and Neil Diamond.  We have a sufficient collection, needless to say.  

Karilea -- When I first heard of the Beatles...it was from a junior high school friend who brought Beatle buttons to school.  That was before the release of their second hit.  When we had the chance to go hear them, my mom said the same thing, that we were too young.  Yeah, that would have been something to tell your kids about, for sure.  

serenity blaze
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366 posted 2004-07-31 07:12 PM


Last story for a bit...and it's Raph's fault with the prompt about equipment problems.

This band we worked with (no particular claim to fame outside of some studio credit) but they were a hard-working opening act for a decade or so, and we were a not so hard-working crew.

Let's just call the guitar player "Hard Luck Harry." This poor guy suffered every known stage humiliation known to rock and roll.

There was the night his cord shorted out, and the only replacement we could come up with was two feet long. It looked pretty funny onstage as he appeared to be umbilically connected to the amp...

Then there was the Mardi Gras gig, and I fear some hallucinogens had slowed down reaction time of the crew. In the middle of a set, while he was singing, the mic stand very slowly slipped...and he slowly followed it, singing and squatting while his road crew just sat there, laughing too hysterically to be of any help.

Hard Luck Harry was the first to quit the band. He later made a living on Bourban Street, playing "Average White Band" style stuff for the tourists. One night, during a break, he stepped outside to smoke an illegal substance.

You guessed it. The cops got him and put him up against the wall, arms out and legs spread. Whereupon an inebriated gentleman saw him from behind and misunderstanding the event, the drunk guy proceeded to stand next to him, urinating on the brick wall next to him.

The cops arrested him too...



sigh

somebody stop me...I'm still pouting because Lyle Lovett & His Large Band is playing at MY Saengar theater tonight, and yes, eclectic me happens to be a major fan.

sigh.

oh well.

I happen to have some right here on my hard drive.

iliana
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367 posted 2004-07-31 07:20 PM


Poor Harry!  What a story.  I could visualize the crew loosing it!  Okay, I guess it's dinner time.  I won't ask for more right now, but hope we see some later.  
iliana
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368 posted 2004-07-31 08:41 PM


HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY, SERENITY!

[This message has been edited by iliana (07-31-2004 09:20 PM).]

Duncan
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369 posted 2004-07-31 08:55 PM


Hiya neighbors....I heard there was a garden party in the neighborhood today so I made us an icy pitcher of sweet tea and thought I'd tell ya'll a short (ok, I tried) story.  Sorry it doesn’t follow with the current theme but it does have to do with a previous discussion.

Back on June 30th, in the original Serenity journal, Karen made the following post:


"My father and I were in his garden, and I was perplexed as to why his marigolds were so much larger and blooming so much more prolifically than my own.

"How do you do this?" I asked him.

"Like this." And he stomped on one of his beautiful plants.

I was shocked and asked him why he'd done that.

"It's like this," he explained. "Something in that plant wants to live--and where the breaks are, the plant will heal itself and grow even stronger, and the result will be a larger tougher plant."

He showed me some of the scars on the other plants to prove his point.

Then he smiled at me and said, "Don't be afraid to pick your flowers, either. Flowers are a gift to us from God and they are meant to be shared. For every one you give away, two will bloom in its place."

Then he picked one and handed it to me.

Yep, "da lawd loves a garden"."


So, I'd read the story over coffee one morning and it interested me because I have a garden and because what it claimed seemed so far-fetched.  But being relatively new to "workin' the fields", I was quickly learning the value of other folk's experiences and antedotes and so I tucked the information away in the part of my brain where I store odd bits that I have no immediate use for, but find intriguing or think I may be in need of someday.  
A couple weeks later, I had friends over for BBQ one evening and the next day discovered that one of my cherry tomato plants was broken nearly in half.  The break was about 8 inches from the ground, up the main stalk.  It didn't go all the way through but far enough that the top part was now bent over and threatening to break completely if any more pressure was applied.  The leaves were already wilted and dying and I noticed that there were a few, very small tomatoes hanging from a stem which now had no way to send them nourishment.
My first inclination was to toss the plant out.  I had 6-7 others and this one hadn't been the healthiest to begin with.  But then I remembered Karen's garden story.  (Funny aside...back when I'd stored the story in the corn mazes of my mind, I'd remembered the plant as a tomato, rather than as a Marigold.  How bizarre, how bizarre...)
Anyway, I remember the story and am suddenly struck by a preview of the guilt I will feel if I don't at least TRY to save this plant.  So I come inside, get electrical tape, scissors and an old t-shirt to cut into strips.  Went to the edge of the woods and gathered a few straight, strong sticks from the ground.  Then began my attempt at "splinting" the stalk.
I managed to stake, bandage and tape the plant so that it stood upright.  I'd tried to line up the "inerds" best as I could, close as I could get them back to their original position, imagining the fine threads which ran the length of the stem, as equivalent to our bodies veins.  They would need to heal well for the plant to again use them for sending nourishment throughout, so I paid particular attention when reattaching top to bottom.  And just for good measure, I moved the “Serenity rock” from the ground beneath a towering Mexican Sage to the dirt covering the roots of the injured tomato plant.  Couldn’t hurt, ya know???    
Still, I doubted seriously it would work, that this plant would somehow regenerate or repair the parts that were damaged.  I was mostly going through the motions, so that later when it died, I would know that I’d at least made an effort to save it.  
Anyway, so then I pinched off any branches that were too damaged to survive, but that if left would continue to drain strength from the rest of the plant.  I stopped when I reached the 4 tiny tomatoes still clinging to one of the few undamaged branches, thinking for a minute to remove them but ultimately deciding to leave them alone and see just how strong this plant’s desire to live proved to be.  For the next few days I watered and watched as leaves, then branches continued to whither and die.  Then for a couple days, nothing happened, no change.  Then...new growth.  Below the break, but still new growth and reason, I thought, for hope.
I’m probably gonna regret revealing this, but well...I talk to the garden.  No particular reason, I’m not thinking it will make the plants grow faster, bigger or anything like that.  I just like talking to them...   Especially in the morning when I’m still grumpy and not so much looking for a conversation as I am just wanting to say “Good morning” to someone.  So when I saw new growth on the injured tomato plant, I said aloud “Cool, maybe you really do wanna live”.  
I won’t bore you with the rest of that conversation, except to say that it continued for a while and that daily visits became the norm after that.  
Slowly I began to see more and more tiny leaves sprouting between branches and stems, and a few of them were actually ABOVE the wound in the stalk.  And still the tomatoes hung, though unchanged in size or color.  I was beginning to think they were going to just hang there until they rotted on the vine, but was determined not to pinch them off until I had no other option.
During one of our morning conversations, I mentioned to the plant that I had grown quite fond of it and was happy and impressed at the progress it was making with the new growth and all, but that I really wanted those little tomatoes to make it.  To grow, sweet and plump, turn to orange and then to red.  And I wanted to pick one, ripe from the vine and eat it right there.  I smiled, just at the thought of it.  (I get an absurd amount of enjoyment from this garden...lol).  A couple days later it was time to fertilize so I mixed up a dose for the recovering plant and hoped it would find it’s way through healed “veins” to the top of the plant and the thirsty pea sized and colored tomatoes waiting there.    
So, based solely on Karen’s father’s theory and my crude attempts to practice plant medicine...I hoped.  And then...I waited some more.  Watched, watered and talked some more.  And finally, sighed at the realization that in spite of good intentions and best efforts, often you just gotta let nature take it’s course, whatever that might be.  
Because...every now and then, the most unlikely of theories when combined with a bit of tape and a lot of hope, plots a course that culminates weeks later, on a Saturday morning in late July, coffee cup in hand, entering the garden same as on so many days before.  But on this Saturday morning, there are bright orange tomatoes hanging among the healthy green leaves.  Plump, juicy, firm, ORANGE (soon to be RED) tomatoes!  
And I didn’t even try to contain my smile as I said Good morning to the garden’s newly painted gift.

All that to say this...
Thanks Sen, for telling such a cool story.  Ya never know what effect your words might have on someone or when they might be saving a tomato's life.  

serenity blaze
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370 posted 2004-07-31 09:17 PM


Dunc, I need to take some time to respond to this. You've touched my heart beyond words.

I feel like my Dad just hugged me through you, and I am so grateful.

I've been sitting here for three days trying not to cry.

(Looks like you just shot that all to hell, but I think it's a really good thing.)

*shaking my head*

I always think I have you people fooled, too.

thank you so much.

Duncan
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371 posted 2004-07-31 09:24 PM


Sen??  You're more than welcome.  

iliana
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372 posted 2004-07-31 09:29 PM


Duncan -- now I'm crying, too.  What a precious, precious story.  

Karen -- your Dad must have been one of a kind.   ...jo

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373 posted 2004-07-31 10:07 PM


Ser?
C'mere...

Wow Duncan..that was beautiful !

And I won't tease you about talking to your plants..
I do it too.

iliana
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374 posted 2004-07-31 10:48 PM


I think it's sweet he talks to his plants.  
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375 posted 2004-07-31 10:51 PM


Duncan, Karen's story about her Dad and the marigolds actually made my garden twice as wonderful this year, as I picked back the plants like he said to do.  I even cut some and gave them away, and he was so right I got more.  The second blooms were bigger,  so yes the lawd does love a garden that is for sure.

Let us know when your first born has offsprings won't you?

Karilea, I have never met a country star that I can remember anyway.  Seen a lot of concerts but not an up close and personal encounter with a one.  Bumped into my share of recording artists and movie types, but not a one country singer.  I wished to have met Willie Nelson but never did.

Iliana Now that must have been some gig?

Raph - check your email - found your Eric Clapton 33 rpm     Or, here ya go, where else but ebay.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=306&item=4027538177&rd=1 &ssPageName=WDVW

iliana
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376 posted 2004-07-31 11:02 PM


Sharon, you really are hooked on ebay, aren't you....lol.  I'm going to have to give it a whirl!   ....jo
Duncan
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377 posted 2004-07-31 11:12 PM


Ahhhh, sweet?  Can't we call it eccentric or mental or something less syrupy than "sweet"???  
What if I told you that when I'm in a bad mood, I yell at the parsley???     Wouldn't think I was so sweet then, huh???
And Sharon, I'll let ya know as soon as the first one's picked and enjoyed!!!  
    

Aenimal
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378 posted 2004-07-31 11:27 PM


Aye Sharon that's the one. But I have the vinyl, i'm just looking for a cd copy until I can get a new turntable/amp.

I will never throw my vinyls. There's something cold and impersonal about cd's. Vinyls where something to take care of, gently pulling it from it's sleeve, tenderly placing it on the plate and that personal balance and touch it took to lower the needle(always by hand never on auto). The covers were magnificent, the liner notes and lyrics gave each vinyl it's own personality, unlike cds whose lyrics you have to squint at. Vinyls have a warmth and they grow with you, sure sometimes they got worn with time. But I found that to be part of their charm. I have the Beatles albums on cd now, but everytime i listen to I saw her standing there and recall every skip or warbled lyric from the orignal vinyl.

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379 posted 2004-07-31 11:30 PM


Duncan that was a lovely story. I talk to my plants and flowers too, for I really do believe that "everything", not just everyone, is deserving of even the most brief connection. I am tired and ready for beddy-bye, so I hope that makes sense.
  Just had to check Ser's journal before turning in. Sweet dreams all!

Aenimal
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380 posted 2004-07-31 11:36 PM


I talk/yell at walls, tvs, my computer, cds and just about everything else when i'm alone. Of course it's more fun when I'm not and i get to watch my brother back out of the room.
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381 posted 2004-07-31 11:39 PM


Dunc?  What is it they say?
What don't kill ya....makes ya stronger...



AS for more stars...I visited the Bicentennial Center tonight [bulls and more bulls..PRB Rodeo...] and as I walked by the photos of stars that have graced the halls of this center, I remembered, oh yea...Brooks & Dunn...And quite a few others....

Even got to see Bob Hope in person about two years before he died...

yep...and a lot more...

iliana
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382 posted 2004-08-01 12:58 PM


Look out, Parsley!  lol  Duncan, it probably gives it more flavor!

Sunshine, Bob Hope....now that must have given you some memories to tell us about!  

Raf - Me, too, both with the talking to plants and everything.....and loving my albums.  

Chris, nightie night.  

Karen & Sharon - Still there?

Aenimal
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383 posted 2004-08-01 01:16 AM


love lies in wait for me

her sheer slip falls away
to my gentle embrace

naked, i let my fingers
slide along her curves

carrying her to the table
anticipation hangs
slowly lowered to surface

the show begins

in the warm glow
of a soft red light

the soft crackle of static

as the record begins


(an older one i dug from my horrid archives and reworked)

iliana
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384 posted 2004-08-01 04:47 AM


Nice, Raf....really nice.  Nightie, night!     .....jo
serenity blaze
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385 posted 2004-08-01 07:29 AM


Raph, I remember reading this one and smiling--the mechanics of a turntable make such a distinctive, comforting sound too.

Hugs to you, for being a purist.

*  *  *

And sorry about ducking and running earlier, but Dunc, that truly caught me offguard. In a nice way, of course, m'bud. But I was and remain so flattered by all of it, I was rendered typeless. The very idea that I'm in your garden, and my dad too, it's just...wow.

I think he would have laughed about the electrical tape tho, but he would have certainly approved. I thought it curious too, that you remembered his marigolds as tomatoes, but then, they are "companion" plants. Marigolds help to ward off the bugs. My dad taught me that too. And yep, I was thinking further, about how I've grown cherry tomatoes in the past. Then I thought about the number of plants you're cultivating over there.

Hmmm.

That's a lot of cherry tomatoes for one couple!

Then I thought even further thinking, "wait a minute..." as I happen to know another gardening hint that Daddy never taught me (but my brother did!) There is yet another companion plant that does well with tomatoes...hmmm.



That would explain your urgency to save your camoufl..er, cherry tomato plant.

It would also explain why you yell at your parsley.

(uh huh)

But maybe I should shaddup now?

heh. SERENITY garden mah ass...

and Duncan?

Thanks lovie.

You check your e mail later, k? I'll write a proper thank you when I can--right now my hubby is twitching in his sleep just at the sound of me typing.

(It's kind of fun, actually.)

"dot-twitch-dash-twitch-dot-twitch"

bwahahahahaha



(one more for good measure--dash-twitch-grin)

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386 posted 2004-08-01 08:16 AM


My grandfather was what my mom referred to as an "electronics genius"...and way before surround sound was the ultimate, he had wired speakers in the ceilings of the several houses they inhabited as he was a "government man"...who helped develop highly secret devices in the way of missiles, etc.  

I remember Mom saying that she had gone to more highschools than there were years required to graduate...

and Granddad died while I was young - so I don't have any special "talking to him" memories to share...

but I do remember his garage/shop.  It housed the car, yes, but it was a huge two car garage [well, huge to a little girl] and I remember his walls lined up with all sorts of electronical equipment, and tools...all "don't touch" things, but it was so danged NEAT and ORDERLY...

And I remember, it would have been 1960...when he gave me a small record player, just right for a little girl's 45's [that's vinyl records, for those who might think I was totin' a gun at a young age ]

He had made it with his own hands, his own bits and pieces, and his own woodworking of this very special box.  Now, our family was quite rich in the way of love, but money was hard to come by, and I didn't ever gain a serious amount of records, but oh, that box...

Mom and Dad had a great number of records, and by the time Granddad died, grandmother up and gave Mom all of Granddad's 78's.  Families being what they are, I've no idea where they might be now...but they, too, were in their very own special box...

~*~

My box of memories today let me lift the lid on a few other memories, too...

Like the time I stood under Dan Blocker [Hoss Cartwright of Bonanza].  He was on a platform set up right there in our County Park that was located right across the highway and only a few blocks from our home.  He was giving a political bump to whomever was running that year - probably for a state election, not nation, I don't recall...all I remember is his hugeness.  He was a BIG man, but yep, that smile some of you may remember from watching him on TV was quite genuine.  I also remember thinking that he must have loved his family very much, because he was such a gentle giant in his actions after the speech, when he got down from the platform and walked around the crowd.  Such HUGE hands...

Sometime in 1980 or '81, I met Pappy Boyington.  Again, some of you elders might know of him - Black Sheep Squadron.  My hubby was a pilot in the AF, and his love of flight has never abated.  We went to SO many airshows between 1980 and 1994 - I couldn't count them all.  But we do have photos of Pappy, and even at his age at that time, you could sense the stubborn of his demeanor.  Nice enough and all, but I still wouldn't have wanted to give him any flack...

~*~

Oh, 1984.  What a year.  We were in Park Forest, Illinois, and a new tv show had just started, Who's the Boss.  Well, one of my girls was now 13...and the City was throwing a summer festival with "lots of surprise attractions" in addition to games, music, food.  Yep.  I think my 13 yr old must have gotten so excited...because she came running home, crying hysterically..."he kissed me, he kissed me!"  Tony Danza had made her day...

~*~

Most recently we went to the "boyhood town" of Steve Doocie [FOX news] and stood in line to listen/meet the newscaster/weatherman.  What was best about this little meeting was listening to the old gentleman walk up to Steve and say, "you remember me?"  Steve [who must be about my age?] said, "Well I sure do - I helped you out during the summers on your farm!"  He stood, shook hands with the elder gentleman, who then said, "you got enough in the account now to fix my tractor that you wrecked?"  Steve doubled over in laughter, admitting, "I had hoped you would have forgotten about that!"

They went on to a have a nice, short chat, and he continued to press flesh, sign autographs, and stand for pictures.  [Yes, I have one, but I'm not sharing... ]

~*~

Skipping back to a time long long ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth...My grandmother and aunt took me [after a "Swan" moment via my grandmother's thinking that I should be allowed to grow up...] we went to The Brown Derby for lunch.  Now, as this place is no longer standing, and for those youngsters out there...The Brown Derby was an early version of Hard Rock Cafe...where the stars went to be seen and to see...and the commoners were allowed to bump into them that made us smile at the Saturday matinees and remember drive-in movies with a certain gleam to our eyes...

I saw a number of actors and actresses that day, but I was duly impressed at that young age, when Milton Berle came up to our table and stood talking to us.  Again...they're just real people...with certain gifts.

Oh, Happy Days....

Susan Caldwell
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387 posted 2004-08-01 10:02 AM


Just popped in while the house is still waking and I am on my 2nd cup of coffee...

Loved all the wonderful stories..

You people ROCK!

to all!!  

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

iliana
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388 posted 2004-08-01 01:51 PM


Karilea -- loved the stories.  Uncle Miltie -- did you know he was into poetry?  He came to speak at a poetry convention I went to in Las Vegas in the late 80s.  Thoroughly enjoyed him -- a true artist.  And Haus, well I imagined he was a fine man!  I'm just curious if the farmer got a new tractor???!!  lol  

Good afternoon everybody!

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389 posted 2004-08-01 01:58 PM


Elder indeed Karilea       I enjoyed your Milton Berle encounter, and although I never thought I was "that" old, I saw many a star in my day at the very restaurant with my Aunt, who pointed each out and I did not know who they were until years later. Were you at the Wilshire location one or the Vine Street one Karilea?  I love that Disney and MGM have re-created it right down to the menu, and you know it could just start elbows rubbing once again.  Love that Rodeo Drive plastic world.  LOL

A quick one - I heard Tom Selleck was staying at the Hyatt that morning on the radio.  I worked in the MB Bldg., only two buildings away so...being ever a devil, I snuck out of work a bit before noon when he was supposedly going to sign autographs in the lobby.  I headed up the basement service elevator I knew well from planning many a benefit or lunch for my boss.  (He was used to be my now by the way; we had an arranged day marriage as it was.)  I worked well when I was there, and he supported a "elder's budding television career," whenever I got a part.  In other words when I worked on t.v. those hours he lost me and went golfing or something, true fact. He is dead now and the BEST man I ever knew, ever!

I got to the top, quietly got around to the room side from the banquet area, and I saw someone's shadow.  So, like a little kid I went scampering down the corridor, then into a full clip before I got found out, then TWACK! Going around a corner I ploughed into someone and fell down.  I heard the voice first, and of course my legs got even weaker.   Looking up, there was Tom Selleck about to lift me up.  He said, "Little lady where are you off to in such a hurry, are you okay?"  I said, "Yes, Tom (get me,) I was trying just to see you actually!  Well he said, "Next time try knocking at the door."  I told him this was a secured floor (like he didn't know?) and I told her the lobby was full of crazy woman waiting to see him, including some of the girls from my office.  He told his wife Jilly to get me a glass of water, and I said I was just fine but I had not idea he was so tall, nor she was so tiny.  He laughed!  Then, he said," Well, we are heading down for that autograph session, would you like to join me?  NO WAY!  Of course I did, but was he bringing the cute blonde?       I loved the looks on the faces of the girls from the office when that elevator opened, and we three walked out.  They didn't think I could do it - never tell the Irish they can't pull something off.  I saw him years later on Robson Street, with Jilly ,and met their daughter, Hannah.  I asked him if he remembered the incident, but I had to remind him, I guess I am not as unforgettable as he is.

You know of all the people I have actually met or been around, he and Lee Trevino were the absolute nicest of them all. (Lee Trevino is a golfer and was here in one of the VIP golfing carts for the opening of Swaneset Golf and Country Club) and poor guy got stuck with me in his cart.  

Okay it is B.C. Day today, must get out there and pledge my love for this province - after all it is the BEST!  (Now that ought to get the other 3 Canucks shorts in a knot!)

iliana
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390 posted 2004-08-01 02:37 PM


Sharon -- Tom Selick, now that's a dream come true!  WOW, he's always been someone I look up to (and I'm pretty tall)!  lol .......what a trip!  What roles did you use to do on TV anyway?  Have a great B.C. Day!
Duncan
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391 posted 2004-08-01 02:58 PM


“Then I thought about the number of plants you're cultivating over there.

Hmmm.

That's a lot of cherry tomatoes for one couple!  ** Couple??  Did I miss something??      

Then I thought even further thinking, "wait a minute..." as I happen to know another gardening hint that Daddy never taught me (but my brother did!) There is yet another companion plant that does well with tomatoes...hmmm.”

Well Sen, I gotta say, your imaginings are much more entertaining than the real reason I’m cultivating so many plants.  Ya see, last year, I started with 4 cherry tomato plants.  But only 1 lived to produce fruit, and then only sparsely, never enough ripe at one time to even make a small salad.  So this year, I figured I’d start with 8 and if I was lucky, 2 would survive and I would get a whole salad.  
Truth is Sen, I ain’t much of a farmer.  (I often sing the theme to Green Acres while workin’ the fields)  But I do find it all very relaxing, even serene at times.  
Anyway, sorry about catching you off guard, I was just so damned happy that your Dad’s theory had proven true and that I now had ripening tomatoes on a plant that resembles something out of a botanical horror movie, that I had to tell ya about it!!!    
    


iliana
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392 posted 2004-08-01 03:02 PM


Duncan, my husband is definitely not a gardener....he hates it, but, he whistles and hums the theme to Green Acres, too....yep, you guessed it, he still watches the re-runs....
Mysteria
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393 posted 2004-08-01 03:39 PM


Duncan you are SO special!  Tell you another trick and you laugh all you want but it works.  I used to play "bee" and pollinate my own veggies and flowers with a Q-Tip.  In otherwords, start at one flower and dust the middle and with the smae Q-Tip dust the next and so on, and so on.  All they need is water, sun, bees to pollinate flowers, and a haircut every few days to cut off the split ends, etc.     You only have to watch Martha Stewart until you are cross-eyed to be so full of all this useless information.

Iliana: I did a lot of on-camera voice over work for several agencies here for television commercials, and small parts only in local t.v. series being shot mostly in North Vancouver by Cannell Films (now Lions Gate Films.)  I did however hit paydirt one time but that is another story, and worked with James Coburn and Lou Gossett Jr. (I do have the pictures so will scan them and send them to you if you like?)

Right now I am going to get tons of blueberries and corn on the cob to freeze up for the winter.  I thought today was B.C. Day, sheesh it's tomorrow!

Duncan
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394 posted 2004-08-01 03:49 PM


Sharon???  So I should make like a bee??  Hmmm.....sounds amusing.  Wonder could I cross say, Basil with Garlic????  Parsley with Thyme???
See, that's the cool thing about not really knowing what I'm doing, I'm too uninformed to know these things shouldn't work...but sometimes do!!!

All together now..."Green acres is the place to be...."  

Aenimal
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395 posted 2004-08-01 03:52 PM


"Duncan you are SO special!  Tell you another trick and you laugh all you want but it works.  I used to play "bee" and pollinate my own veggies and flowers with a Q-Tip.  In otherwords, start at one flower and dust the middle and with the smae Q-Tip dust the next and so on, and so on. "


Anybody else picturing Sharon dancing from flower to flower making buzzing sounds?

serenity blaze
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396 posted 2004-08-01 03:52 PM


Sure, Duncan, sure...

But seriously, two words?

(and nope, not what you might think)

RIVER SAND

Back when I had that garden, I grew my t'maters in a bed of river sand. I had the same problem with breaking that you did too, btw. (Remember Bubba No Nuts Johnson? He'd stomped through the bed while chasing after the neighbors pet pig, Ziggy--but that's another story...)

anyhoo, I just let them be, and as luck would have it, we had a bunch of rain following that, and the plant just rooted itself along the ground. Just one plant ended up filling the entire bed and I had enough t'maters for my household, my aunts, my brothers and the neighbors. I "canned" my own salsa that year too.

As for that "other" crop? I was always too paranoid to grow that--the hubby tried, but not wanting legal trouble, I simply added rubbing alcohol to his miracle grow water mix, and he gave up, thinking he just had a "brown" thumb.



and ta ta for now folks...I've gotta run to the store for now!

(and Kari, Jo, and Sharon, ya'll know the rumor about Milton Berle, doncha? It was said the size of his um, ego was quite legendary.)



gotta run for now!

later!

iliana
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397 posted 2004-08-01 04:03 PM


Karen -- that's hysterical about the alcohol...hope he's not reading.  Now about old Uncle Miltie...nope, I hadn't heard that...I never kept up much with that stuff.  hmmmmmmm

Sharon, I would love that.  You may have to send to a different email tho' and I'll send that to you; for some reason, yahoo is talking out all the pictures.?  Great story about the Q-tips; I may try that just for kicks.  

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398 posted 2004-08-01 04:10 PM



Be careful Raph - I have a lot of "sweet" friends     

Duncan ~ If you can cross your cherry tomatoe with Sen's potatoe, you'd have a darn hard potatoe to peel     Try it!

"New York is where I'd rather stay
I get allergic smelling hay
I just adore a penthouse view
Darling, I love you,
but give me Park Avenue." Oh I loved that Hooterville.

River Sand?  You can grow potatoes in sand?  Here they are in big tall mounds of dirt?

Duncan
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399 posted 2004-08-01 04:17 PM


River sand???  OK, will try and remember that.  
Someone else told me to use mushroom mulch, which would be really interesting if they were THOSE kinda mushrooms and I was growing that OTHER plant.  Hmmm....now there's something to ponder.
Did I mention that I live directly in the flight path of the local airport and that the planes are so low when they fly over, that the pilots sometimes wave???  Or that the fine law enforcement officers here make regular use of that airport???
So...think I'll stick with tomatoes for now.  

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400 posted 2004-08-01 04:18 PM


I was a teenager when I met Berle, for cryin' out loud...what did I know about egos?  

Sharon, the menu that my aunt "borrowed" from the restaurant and which stands before me as I type, has "Hollywood" on it...so that would mean that I was indeed at the Hollywood & Vine location...

let's see...had had to order a dollar's worth for one hour's free parking with Valet Auto Park south on Vine street...

Derby Burger 80 cents
DeLuxe Derby Burger ... wow ... $1.20

The Highest Priced meal on the menu?  Top Sirloin Steak with french Fried Potatoes, Onion Rings and Sliced Tomatoes, which came with a mixed green salad, choice of dression for 35 cents extra, was a total of...$3.15.

Now catch this...this would have been 1968.

LOW CALORIE SPECIALS... $1.60...
No. 1 - Freshly ground beef patty, cottage cheese, peach or pear, sliced tomatoe and Melta toast or Ry-Krisp...OR

No. 2 - Cold sliced turkey breast, fresh fruit salad, sliced tomatoe, and Melba toast or Ry-Krisp...

1968....

And sand?  grows GREAT tomatoes....

Duncan
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401 posted 2004-08-01 04:21 PM


"Duncan ~ If you can cross your cherry tomatoe with Sen's potatoe, you'd have a darn hard potatoe to peel"

Sharon???  That is almost as bizarre as you flitting around with a buzzing q-tip, fertilizing unsuspecting petunias.  
Yet...I find both oddly exciting.  

serenity blaze
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402 posted 2004-08-01 04:24 PM


"Did I mention that I live directly in the flight path of the local airport and that the planes are so low when they fly over, that the pilots sometimes wave??? "

I knew someone who put red xmas ornaments on their "companion" plants to further enhance the aerial camouflage effect.

(I really should just shaddup, huh?)

But really, you can find all of these tips and more at Hippy.dot.com!



(I'm not actually sure of that, I just thought it sounded funny.)



Now I think it quit raining, so I'm going to make a beer run. Burp.


iliana
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403 posted 2004-08-01 04:29 PM


Karilea - In the late 60s, you could still buy a pack of gum for a dime....remember that?  And gas....remember the gas wars?  In Ohio, for a short period of time, we could get it for 22 cents a gallon.  

Karen -- Miltie had a BIG ego huh.  I couldn't tell from where I was sitting...hehehe.....only that he was a great speaker for our convention, witty and passionate about the topic of poetry.  

I am not only learning about growing things in this garden of yours, Karen, but learning so much about myself...thanks again for starting this.  Even if I didn't comment, I would still be reading and growing.     ....jo

Sunshine
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404 posted 2004-08-01 04:57 PM


Now you see?  With Mr. Berle, I was most likely so agog over the fact that this wonderful gentleman whom I had only seen in black and white was indeed standing before us...and I remember him talking so gently, so much the gentleman...

probably because there was a teenager around...looking all in the world like she was actually 12, but just 17...geez...if I had on my aunt's makeup, perhaps he would have let loose with something I could really share...LOL...

it was a DIFFERENT world...

1968...

serenity blaze
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405 posted 2004-08-01 05:24 PM


Boy.

It's HOT out there.

click. Pop. glurg...

ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

Much better.  

While I was walking, I was thinking on that big ego, um, issue, thinking that the fact that I know that about Uncle Milty and think about it every time I hear his name says more about me than him.

(Forgive me? I've been deprived. )

But anyhoo, I started thinking about people who are famous for their big egos. Specifically I was thinking about Ron Jeremy.

I watched him on one of those reality shows, "surreal life" and I was actually very impressed with his seemingly affable and intelligent personality. I also saw him on another show, and discovered he has a degree in special education, and he was lamenting the fact that it is useless to him now. "Afterall," he pointed out, "I wouldn't want someone such as myself teaching my kids..."

I re-thought my assumptions of him as sleazeball porno king as I got a glimpse of something sad to which I could relate--

A loss of a dream due to poor choices.

I'd like to think that it's not over until it's over though.

So Ron Jeremy, if you're reading, I'll give it, um a shot, if you will.



(poor guy, he has to hear those jokes all the time, too...)

and on that particular note, I'd like to issue an invitation for any and all BIG EGO stories!

wicked, wicked, gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Sunshine
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406 posted 2004-08-01 05:38 PM


I'll be back with a supposedly big ego story.

HA!

My nemesis is in the wings.

Sunshine
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407 posted 2004-08-01 06:05 PM


and dear dear serenity...quit pushing the P.S. button, ok?  Perhaps, Perchance...m'dear...was written two years ago...and you say, "sweet"....

what....

you want me to reveal ALL my stories?

serenity blaze
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408 posted 2004-08-01 06:12 PM


Y'want I should NOT reply???

Sheesh.

Watch it lady, laughing, you may have P.S. buttons, but I still have P.M.S. buttons!

*snort*

and actually I had no idea it was a repost.

I can't remember what I've written and posted, much less anybody else. (Thank God/dess for vicky, who saved all my stuff and mailed it to me or I wouldn't have it at all! She's something else! thanks lady V for the thoughtfulness)

and NOW Missy P.S....tapping my toe?

you gonna fess up?

serenity blaze
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409 posted 2004-08-01 06:59 PM


And Dunc? Btw? Do you happen to have some salad for today?

It happens to be Lammas, and I am preparing feasts too.

"'Lammas' was the medieval Christian name for the holiday and it means 'loaf-mass', for this was the day on which loaves of bread were baked from the first grain harvest and laid on the church altars as offerings. It was a day representative of 'first fruits' and early harvest."

From this informative site:
http://www.paganlibrary.com/reference/lammas-the_first_harvest.php

and I think I'm wanting flowers too--hawaiin ginger is indeed in bloom and it is my favorite flower--very orchid like, but hardy.

And? I find it interesting that this holiday of Greater Sabbat is also my wedding anniversary as well as a commemoration (of sorts) regarding the deaths of both my and my husband's fathers--from the same site, I offer this explanation:

"In Irish Gaelic, the feast was referred to as 'Lugnasadh', a feast to commemorate the funeral games of the Irish sun-god Lugh."

My life plays out witchily weird but wonderful at times...

and Kari? e me and let me know you're okay...

my manner is too offhand for type most times and and you're worrying me today...

Local Rebel
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410 posted 2004-08-01 07:20 PM


I can't even come close to keeping up.... your garden is growing wild!!!



(bow to all... enjoy)

serenity blaze
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411 posted 2004-08-01 07:55 PM


Reb? All my gardens are like this.

If I may quote myself (from page one of the garden journal part II)

I opened this one with a poem a wrote about gardening called "a certain perfect disarray"

*ahem*

"a certain perfect disarray...
think i'll let it stay that way...
(Some things should be
     just what they are.)"


I just knew that it would be like this...



thanks for helping to make it fun.

Kit McCallum
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412 posted 2004-08-01 07:57 PM





Fagin
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413 posted 2004-08-01 07:59 PM


I have a teacher story as well and will post it as poem as soon as I can.. girls arent the only one with crushes, y'know...lol

serenity blaze
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414 posted 2004-08-01 08:00 PM


GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


thank you, lovely!




I'm the luckiest girl in the world!




wow. and thank you, Fagin!


Sunshine
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415 posted 2004-08-01 08:10 PM


Fagin has joined....my world is now...almost perfect....

Serenity, you have invited a very rare soul into your midst....

as for my utterances?  I am fine...but...I am also striking out...and standing alone as much as I can for the time being.  This little garden of yours, m'dear, is a haven unreknown...

We have sanctuary, I know...but I am gilding your skirts...if that makes any sense at all....

one knows...and he will be watching now...I am sure.

In fact...I think he has probably spent the whole of this day catching up.  Now watch out...I might start ing very soon....

I am sure Fagin has stories I've yet to remember about moi.



Though, he should watch his step...

Serenity?  I am honored when you read me at all, m'friend.  I'm still trying to climb that ladder that reaches YOUR way with words....



serenity blaze
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416 posted 2004-08-01 08:18 PM


I'm looking forward to it Kari...and sheesh, stop that stuff--and?

check your e mail



Sheesh

Did that take long enough or what? and I have got to stop slapping my monitor!



But I do feel better now.

Enchantress
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417 posted 2004-08-01 09:17 PM


WOW!!  Welcome Fagin!!!

And Kit, what a fantastic smilie for Serenity's Garden!

serenity blaze
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418 posted 2004-08-02 01:51 AM


This one is for the Local Rebel:

I really hope that the fun wasn't misconstrued as glory in the game of name-dropping. That really wasn't my intent at all. I just like what it does to connect us. I did not tell a story of meeting a very famous guy--actually I saved that one purposely for last.

Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails lived here in New Orleans at one time. He may still, I don't know. It's not the sort of thing I worry about. And actually, I didn't even know who he was until afterwards. He looked, actually, like a guy on a bicycle. I shrugged and played my video poker game and he walked in after locking his bike on a post just outside. He nodded to the bar so I figured he was a regular.

Shrug.

I had aces.

but?

I'd have to ditch an ace for a possible flush...

I kept my aces.

"Why'd you do that?"

I frowned annoyed at the interruption.

"What? I just won a free play!"

"But you gambled away a possibility that came cheap--" he grinned wicked. "Stop repressing yourself." He had said it low in my ear and then he walked upstairs to the "private" balcony.

*  *  *

My friend was playing keys that night at the Tropicana and he came up excitedly asking me, "What did he say to you?"

"Who?"

"TRENT REZNOR--that was HIM!"

I told him my story and of course, he loved it. He kept beaming at me, saying, "sounded to me like he was hitting on you...let me touch your skirt!" he teased.

"SHADDDDDDDDDUP..." I said, but I was pleased at the thought, I confess.

Then I laughed thinking how unimpressed I had been with "the Trent" initially, remembering Ruthie The Duck Lady, and my grand debut with the inner circle of Rock and Roll, one fine Mardi Gras Day when I had attended the only MTV party ever hosted on Bourban St. on Carnival Day.

*  *  *

I knew I'd be there.

Afterall, my boyfriend was the ultimate backstage pass, right?

So we prepared as we always did (that requires more explaining than I wish to go into here) and I packed my knapsack and we tred through the streets of downtown, through parades and carnival to find our mecca of MTV in the Quarter. And yeah, getting in was ludicrously easy. The hubby busied himself with the lifestyles of the bitch and famous and I wearily found a seat.

"Y'gotta beer for TUESDAY?"

Now, I'd heard of Ruthie, and her famous inquiries, but it just happened to be a  TUESDAY. FAT Tuesday. And YES, I'd heard she'd dressed as a bride, (carrying a duck) but hey? IT WAS MARDI GRAS DAY.

I didn't even blink.

"Nooooo..." I answered, "but I've got some chianti!"

I offered her my wineskin.

She looked disgusted and I took it that wineskins and chianti were not to her taste.

"Y'gotta cigarette?" She smelled bad frankly and people were watching us, so I shrugged a "sure" and gave her a cig, lighting it, wondering why so many people were taking our photo.

I took note of her costume and asked, "What are you dressed as?"

"A Briiiiiiide......" she grinned at me, and teeth were missing. Her breath made a fog in my face and I winced.

"Oh."

"What are YOU dressed as?" Then she cackled, and everybody around us laughed and I was feeling weird, understanding that people were paying much too much attention to this scene for it to be "normal".

"I'm just me," I answered her, and I saw some lucid in her eyes for one second as she slapped me on the knee, asking again,

"Y'gotta cigarette?"

I gave her one for the road as she rose. She wasn't carrying her duck that day, but I noticed on the weathered smelly lace of her dress a button:

"F*ck off and die"

I smiled. I swear it was printed just like that, asterisk and all.

She walked away as people looked on, seemingly protective of her, and looking at me oddly, like I'd just been touched by "holy".

*  *  *

My husband walked up then, he'd been watching us.

"With all the people you could be talking to here, you're talking to a bag lady?"

How was I supposed to know? I shrugged.

*  *  *

She's famous now and he loves telling people about how I met Ruthie. His disdain of the situation is conveniently forgotten, but I remember it all.

So I thought I would share her with you all, 'cause fame ain't nothin' but a name game and yes, Reb, there's six degrees of separation restricting marriages--we gotta guard those chromosomes and I wish I had a smilie with missing teeth to type here for emphasis. sigh.

THUMBS RULE!

*  *  *

Meet Ruthie the Duck Lady:
http://www.bestofneworleans.com/dispatch/2002-03-05/cover_story.html

I rather enjoyed her m'self.


Mysteria
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419 posted 2004-08-02 02:14 AM


Kit you rock!

Karen, on August lst Willow always used to make those daisy chain halos for our hair.  I can remember she insisted we go to the river, or the closest stream.take our shoes off and feel the cold of that stream.  I barely remember the reason why, but I remember her reciting something, and I had to keep deep breathing the entire time. I didn't know it was your day to celebrate too, so Happy Lugnasadh, and a very Happy 2nd Anniversary.

Duncan - I do not cross-pollinate flowers as those get tons of growing food in the soil mixture when I pot them, but you have given me a great idea. I do it only to vegetables, like squash, tomatoes, cucumbers, beans, and the like.

Gee, I wonder if sand would work here to grow vegies, or is it only in hot places? We spend a ton on new soil, fertilizer, every single year and boy that would sure save a lot for sure.  I shall try that and let you know next year.  I guess its too late now, as ahem...this "bee's" tomatoes are about ready to pick the first load - early girls, sweet 100's and my favorite the Brandwine (big beefstakes.)  

Mysteria
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420 posted 2004-08-02 02:23 AM


Sheesh Karen, New Orleans is sure full of some eccentric folks.  While trying to find a bigger picture of Ruthie, I hit this site, which is unreal!  See my pollinating flowers is okay, I don't have ducks for helpers     What a character she is, and I hope they get her sprung from the senior's home.
http://www.eccentricneworleans.com/origin.htm

Aenimal
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421 posted 2004-08-02 03:11 AM


Reznor? The closest i come is standing in line with Rush's geddy Lee and almost patting Billy Corgan's head but you meet Reznor and everyone else in here has touched a bloody Beatle! Sigh.

As for Reznor. That boy is a genius and better come out with that new album soon. As far as I know he's still living in N'awlins, he's got a lovely house, very Anne Rice/morbidish. it was either a haunted house, the house of some famous murder or a funeral home i forget lol. Crazy goth bastard.

Last great show i saw was Nine Inch Nails with A perfect Circle opening up for them. In other words i got to see Maynard of Tool share a stage with Reznor in one night. I was in heaven and when Reznor hit us with a water bottle my friend(batterin ram) declared he wouldn't shower for weeks. Whereupon I of course said "so what else is new?"

Nay mind me folks i'm out of it, ze painkillers have taken effect and my knee is a lovely shade of eggplant purple..yaaaaay On the plus side I got to visit my Dad which is always so much fun. Today he treated me to stories about his enlarged prostate and describing in every minute detail his adventure with a cathater(sp?). argh I haven't been able to sit properly for hours.

iliana
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422 posted 2004-08-02 03:29 AM


Karen, that tale of the skating duck lady was just.....ummmmm.....sureal.....but, then again, I've heard there is nothing like the Big Easy.  Great story.  And the one about Reznor, .... just plain old made me grin.  You sure know how to write.  

Raf, hope you get better soon.  

Sharon, haven't had a chance to check the other computer yet, but am anxious to do that.  

Susan Caldwell
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423 posted 2004-08-02 04:47 AM


*cough*

Raph?  Did you remove your picture??

*sniff*


Sunshine
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424 posted 2004-08-02 05:27 AM


Ok, serene one, checked my mail and resized our prize - Velma, with her Tiara...

Talk about taking a while [but look again at the time I am posting this, puhleeze...]...



You know, I'm meeting the nicest folk in Passions.

Oh, Fagin... ...remember the day in Nipomo that we dressed up as Indians and put on a skit?  You want to tell that story?  Somewhere, I have pictures....

serenity blaze
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425 posted 2004-08-02 05:55 AM


I am smiling "wow."

I feel some need to urge you all
to touch the print behind her where
there are pots and pans drawn light
I feel some need to make it right
Look at her--the left of her--
I weep, containing arrows crossed
and nothing there that speaks of grieve
or even in her smile "she lost"
sitting there with one cig smile
gasping
of exclaim I style
seeking certain my own way....

We will see this
our own way
begging for release I say:
"Yep. The bitch went that a'way...
with a finger fooling doubt."


Sunshine
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426 posted 2004-08-02 06:18 AM


Sweetheart, you asked me for some inspiration?  Well, I had to dig back into the archives [I think my muse went to Hyannis Port or something..] So, for you...



~*~


A Serenity Prayer

She stands among the presence of a prayer
There at the garden gate
“Voici, mon pere” in silent whisper
which only she can dedicate…

Velvet scratches are her voice,
As afternoon light comes dappling her skin,
Little slivers are her stigmata
As we see her light within…

Slowly sparking the gypsy
To speak again,
With voices rendering the last call
To come dancing
Though they be scary smooth…

Slowly she is losing paint
As the Mississippi rises steam
And weary is she, erased
Of God knows what little sin…

But the sentence stands
There alone in blue chalk dust

As Sunday Service
Calls to her in shades of Amadeus
With wine, and me…

Her hand held out, she touches me
As if to impart a word,
But My Father knows as do I

That she flies alone, and free.

~*~


Some poets take a lot of time in creating titles that can stand alone as a poem...this is an example of the titles [in italics] created by Serenity...which lend themselves alone to wonderful thoughts, and much needed inspiration.

Serenity?  Thank you, my dear....for letting me borrow a little so I could give it back to you....

hugs....




serenity blaze
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427 posted 2004-08-02 07:45 AM


thank you
Sunshine
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428 posted 2004-08-02 08:54 AM


Share with Velma...
iliana
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429 posted 2004-08-02 12:31 PM


You guys, for sharing the memories and the music.......jo
Aenimal
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430 posted 2004-08-02 01:58 PM


Thanks iliana the sweeling's gone down, now it's just my pride that's hurting. What a wipeout, too bad i didn't catch it on film


Susan yeah i took it down, self consciousness kicked in full force

Sunshine
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431 posted 2004-08-02 02:02 PM


Raph, put it back.
I'm glad you're feeling better...

~*~

Jo, isn't she something else?


Susan Caldwell
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432 posted 2004-08-02 02:05 PM


Raph, please put it back.  I like it.  

and I can still look.  

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Aenimal
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433 posted 2004-08-02 02:49 PM


Susan, in the words of Dr Evil "Uh, how bout nooo?" lol I always tell myself I'm ready to put up a pic and then cringe at the thing the whole time it's up. Until i get a fairly decent pic or face transplants are readily available and covered by my health insurance i'm not posting any(unless i can put up a childhood pic before my face morphed).


Thanks Karilea  

Susan Caldwell
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434 posted 2004-08-02 02:55 PM


okay.

Aenimal
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435 posted 2004-08-02 02:58 PM


don't mind me, I'm insane and have the world's greeeeeatest self image.
Susan Caldwell
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436 posted 2004-08-02 03:05 PM


Tis alright, I just didn't know how to respond to that....

because...my garbage can in my office (I am not kidding) has a ripped up picture of me in it right now....

Aenimal
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437 posted 2004-08-02 03:16 PM


Argh.. image is a bitch no?
There really should be a share a drink/trade war story smiley.
Our dear Karen used to spend hours upon hours tirelessly trying to get through to me on this issue but, i am a stubborn one.

iliana
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438 posted 2004-08-02 11:08 PM


Hi, Serenity!  Just catching up for the day. The poem....you are such a showoff ('course I luv that 'bout you).  Ya there?

Sunshine -- she surely is! (loved the poem)

Raf - you keeping that leg proped up or are you supposed to be using it already?  Good the swelling's down.  

Sharon --

Susan -- Howdy!  Read you had a landmark today -- congrats!  

to anyone else reading......

[This message has been edited by iliana (08-03-2004 01:50 AM).]

Aenimal
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439 posted 2004-08-03 12:23 PM


iliana Never went to the doctor..doctors bad

take care all see you in a week or so(ish)

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (08-03-2004 12:58 AM).]

iliana
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440 posted 2004-08-03 01:52 AM


See ya, Raf....jo
Martie
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441 posted 2004-08-03 03:09 AM


Hi all   I just got up for a minute...going back to bed now.  
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442 posted 2004-08-03 03:17 AM


Tomato Update:  Two tomatoes should be perfect for eating tomorrow.  I'd planned on enjoying them early (they're best before the sun has heated them up), but seeing as how it's the hour it is, might be afternoon...  
I'll keep ya posted.  

Sunshine
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443 posted 2004-08-03 06:45 AM


Dunc, let us know if, or when, you've ever tried
green fried tomotoes...



I'm playing with a new photo program...so I thought I'd leave some efforts here...


Michael, Emily, Christopher, June, 2004

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (08-03-2004 07:19 AM).]

Susan Caldwell
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444 posted 2004-08-03 07:18 AM


Yes, Dunc, I would be interested in a "Fried Green Tomatoes" Story......

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Duncan
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445 posted 2004-08-03 08:47 AM


A few minutes ago I ate the best cherry tomato EVER in the history of cherry tomatoes!!!!  No exaggeration.  I'm saving the second one for lunch.     
Thanks again Sen and thanks to you too, Mr. K's Dad.  Couldn't have done it without ya'll!!!  

serenity blaze
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446 posted 2004-08-03 09:34 AM


I'm suddenly worried that Duncan might be in danger of starving to death.



Congratulations Dunc, and I read that you don't like 'em hot from the sun. Funny, I always preferred 'em that way. They're more like ketchup when they're warm like that.

and yay PICS! I could hear the accompanying giggles as I looked at that one Kari!

and grumble...my house is a mess! Ya'll tend to the garden for me today? I'm declaring a war on dust today, starting with this screen



and you know I'll be around...

and I swear I'll get that e mail...um, soon. *snort*

iliana
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447 posted 2004-08-03 10:20 AM


Mornin' Karen -- whistle while ya work, 'kay?!  Right.

Sunshine -- say cheese?  Nice photo -- cute children!

Duncan - there is nothing like a tomato you've grown yourself....or....in our case, we had a wild tomato vine this summer....with many little marble tomatoes on it; actually they're still coming, just a few at a time.  And, they are yummy.  I think they must have sprung up there because that's close to wear many birds roost. hehehe... bird doodoo, you know.  We've also got a wild bird pepper bush (which is eatable pepper --the hottest in the world!), and several small wild plum trees -- nature....ain't it great!  Green Tomatos is the place to be ....lalalalalal....waiting to hear the story.

Susan & Martie, Hi, ya!

Nightshade
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448 posted 2004-08-03 10:26 AM


Hey Duncan! My hubby's cherry tomato plant is heavy with it's bounty. He eats them right off of the vine, but I need mine refrigerated. I would much rather have what my father used to call the big "beefsteak" tomatoes. Mmmmmmm....now they made great sandwiches...cool with Miracle Whip slathered on and lots of pepper....sprinkle of salt. Especially good on a hot summer's evening with a glass of iced tea. Mmmmmm.
     Hugs Ya'll .... have a great day!

iliana
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449 posted 2004-08-03 10:53 AM


Hi ya, Chris!  Now, I'm hankerin' some of those! Nummy num.....jo
Enchantress
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450 posted 2004-08-03 11:02 AM


Love the pic Kari!

Mmmmm beefsteak tomato sandwiches! Throw a slice of cheese on that too Chris!
Dad used to eat those any time of the day or night.

But seeing as my stomach is just not right today, (I think it's the heat)   , I'll pass.

But, it did make me remember those giant green tomato worms!!!  YUCK!  Remember those??  Giant suckers!  Big around as your finger!! And, as long too. They blend right in with the leaves and stalk so you have to look closely.  They move real slow eating away...

Sorry...my stomach isn't just right..

Think I'll curl up on the bench here in the garden with a good book.

Hugs and love to all!  


garysgirl
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451 posted 2004-08-03 12:06 PM


Well, I'm back there on the page with Duncan's tomatoes...HeeHee..

I do love fresh tomatoes right off the vine...any size or shape...tomatoe sandwiches are the best, especially with a fresh cucumber on it and a piece of onion. Ever had one of those sandwiches?

and, those fried green tomatoes are Heaven!!! You've never ate them Duncan? Where you from? Green fried tomatoes have a lot of stories!! HeeHee!!

Hey Ya'll!!
See ya'll later. I'm going to read some more....

garysgirl
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452 posted 2004-08-03 12:09 PM


Oh, I was on the next page!! HeeHee!!

Nancy Lee, poor baby.....I hope your tummy gets better.
I hope your doing good other that that?


I like your pictures, Karilea.

Raph, I sure do hope you're doing better.

And everybody else, I hope all is well.

Heart hugs to you all.......

Nightshade
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453 posted 2004-08-03 01:16 PM


EEEEEEEWWWWWW !! Yes, I do remember those ugly tomato worms now that you brought them up ... ummm....sorry, I meant to say, now that you mention it. I don't recall so much them crawling slowly along, but rather what they looked like after Dad threw them in the firepit. Like...like....burnt cheese twists!! EEEEEEWWWWWW !! Holy Cheetos Batman!! That just made my own stomach flip.
   We did have a firepit didn't we? Cause if we didn't .... the only other place Dad could have thrown them was .... on the barbque!!! EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW !!!!

Enchantress
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454 posted 2004-08-03 01:21 PM


Chris...ahahaaa....he used to tell me to listen to them sizzle!!!

Is that what those toasty critters were???

Geesh....we need the BUGMAN in here!

iliana
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455 posted 2004-08-03 01:40 PM


Chris & Nancy Lee -- Ickkkkk worms......I remember those great big ugly things....eewwwww, I agree.  Although they might taste delicious fried if you didn't know what you were eating....I mean, after all, just think of what they were eating and they'd probably taste like that, right???!!  Now, I think this has turned into something that my son would enjoy reading.....icky worms, yep, he'd like that.  But just so he won't be tempted, I gonna back to the subject of tomatoes.  

Ethel -- howdy lady -- yep, I love those sandwiches.  And my mother (who lived for a little while in the South when she was growing up) told me noboby didn't love green tomatos.  She'd fix them southern style and hmmmm hmmmm hmmmmm they were good.  I'm reallly getting a craving for them now!  

Enchantress
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456 posted 2004-08-03 03:47 PM




Tomato or hornworm


Thought maybe Duncan would like to know what to look for...

I'll be back..heh heh..crispy critters.

Decaflame
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457 posted 2004-08-03 04:09 PM


Ewwwwwwww...
Nightshade
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458 posted 2004-08-03 04:25 PM


Hmmmm....ugly thing in that pic Nancy Lee.
But, how do we know for sure what they look like in the comfort of their own homes. How their loved ones see them. Possibly like this?
Ya, makes one stop and think doesn't it?!! Makes you maybe feel a little sad even.
Makes you sorry for the time you made me pick up that dead toad at the end of our driveway. Remember?!!! Hmmmm? Ya... right....then told me to take it into Mom who was fixing dinner. Is it all coming back to you now dear sister? The toad...looking like a dirty, dusty, frizbee or potholder. Me, small and innocent holding it up to Mom and saying "Look what I found Mommy!"
  I still remember her squeals. Something about "Germs" and something else said in French. I remember you laughing until your sides ached. You're laughing now too aren't ya?!! LOL.  


Enchantress
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459 posted 2004-08-03 04:33 PM


I sure am Chris..and my sides are aching.  You used to do almost anything I asked of you.

If you want to think those worms look like the one you have up there..that's okay.

But it was DAD who broke mom's favourite vase when he was trying to teach us to twirl the baton.

Did he ever show you how to eat fire?
He did me...ever wonder where my eyebrows really went?

How about how to stick your hand in the bear trap?
Oops..save that for another story.

Duncan
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460 posted 2004-08-03 09:00 PM


LMAO @ Nancy.  

Thanks for the bug info.  So far, no worms.  A few cabbage moths, but they only seem to like the brussel sprout leaves.  

I'm makin' up a bunch of tomato sandwiches in a bit, so ya'll feel free to drop by and have a few...  


iliana
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461 posted 2004-08-04 12:06 PM


Cute worm, Chris -- now how could anybody eat that? ....

You people keep me grinnin'!

Aenimal
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462 posted 2004-08-04 12:52 PM


I just had to come back, someone alerted me of a certain poet's return. For those of you who weren't around when Alicia was writing on PIP I suggest you look at her new words in Open and search her out in the archives. I don't usually gush over poets, (and pray she never comes in here or sees this) but there are certain poets on this site who are genius.

That's not to belittle any of the writers on the site at all, but read her work and you'll see why I haven't been able to post in months. Because I want to write like that but at this point couldn't write like Mike Tyson. Ok I'm done raving and the painkillers are wearing off so I'll see you all. By the way karen could you persuade Bri and Wranx to up and post a few more.

Take care


BTW Nancy and Chris you guys crack me up lol

serenity blaze
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463 posted 2004-08-04 01:49 AM


Raph?

You are so cute...and this is even cuter.

Alicia is another friend of mine, and I don't know how to tell you this..but uh, she wrote me a few weeks ago and told me she reads in here pretty regularly.

(cutie! laughing)

Don't you dare edit either...I know she'd be flattered to read your praise.

And as for my other buddies, I've been trying to play reverse psychology and act like I don't miss their poetry and it's not working.

Not yet.

But we'll see...

and Chris & Nancy? I swear you two have it all over me. I used to think that MY life had been scripted by John Irving, but you two take the cake!

and now I'm waving frantically at Mysteria.

I'm fine. I just have that recurring bout of "flu" that we both knew I'd have to go through--AGAIN. Congratulate me, folks, and crown me "Miss 0 Refills"! (until my next surgery? sigh but *wink*)

Sheesh.

I love you all bunches.!

I'll be around...and around...and around...


Aenimal
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464 posted 2004-08-04 01:53 AM


crap..tool of the year goes too?
serenity blaze
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465 posted 2004-08-04 01:57 AM


Calm down Raph, Alicia is a doll!

and yes, a genius to boot!

so wipe that sweat off yer brow--oh, wait, that's ME sweating...giggle

sighhhhhhhhhhhhh

sheesh


serenity blaze
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466 posted 2004-08-04 02:01 AM


"tool of the year"???

Once again, I learn somethin' new everyday!



You and Uncle Milty, huh?


iliana
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467 posted 2004-08-04 02:26 AM


Serenity, cough, cough, sniffle, sniffle....me, too, it's all up in my sinuses...probably caught this galldern cold when I went to consult with a new doc two weeks ago (no nothing's wrong that I know of yet, just need to know if my kidneys are messed up b/c of all the meds I'm on so needed a doc to follow up with blood work).  Wishing you well....I think I'm going to drink a bottle of nyquil and go to bed here in a minute.  So you know this Alicia....I'm going to go check her out now.     ...jo
iliana
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468 posted 2004-08-04 03:10 AM


Well, Raf & Serenity......Alicia is a genius!
nakdthoughts
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469 posted 2004-08-04 05:38 AM


I have been reading..just nothing much to say especially nothing cheerful or memory found...

So I got through a week without anything to bring me too far down, even my cat Sugar, came up the steps the evening before to sleep next to me, making me think we have beaten whatever it is that made her scream last week...and she has been eating.

Funny thing though, the last few days she has been crawling into her carrier that I have let here just in case I need it again and sleeping in it, coming out only for food.

Well the screaming has begun again and even touching her is making her do so when I pet her, trying to make her feel better and the only way I was able to bring her down from my bedroom again was in the carrier...

And I have two choices now... one is to spend about $500 more on tests for the vet to tell me there is nothing they can do for her...or the other which I dread but probably will have to do.

I wonder sometimes why I have this clouded life and how to get beyond it.


Karen, I hope you are feeling better soon.  
And to the rest of the gardener's,  your stories are delightful and I must have led a pretty boring childhood and teenage years although I hadn't thought so until readng here.



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470 posted 2004-08-04 07:28 AM


/pip/Forum47/HTML/001017.html

For those who dont know--before she posted as Alicia...she used the pen name "Spitfire" ... the archives has many examples of her brilliance.

Morning groovy guys and gals.


Toerag
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471 posted 2004-08-04 07:45 AM


Well lookie here...a site with no fights?...A Serene site....Now what can I post....??????...Are we supposed to write about who we really are?...What?...About music?...Just a story?...Gardening tips for tomatos?....
Toerag
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472 posted 2004-08-04 07:55 AM


Illiana....sorry to hear you're not feeling well?....Kidneys messed up from meds?...Yea, I've got old friends waiting for me to die...they're wanting to bid on my lungs and liver....
Sunshine
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473 posted 2004-08-04 08:44 AM


Toe, in this little garden, a lot of goodness grows...but I see we've got worms, too, so truly, all subjects fit.  Tell us a story, Toe...c'mon, tell us a tale too true to be believed, if it comes from none other than you...

Crew? C'mon...nudge Toe...

Susan Caldwell
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474 posted 2004-08-04 09:02 AM


Yanno, I am sitting here listening to Joni Mitchell's "Hejira"...why you ask?  Because I am trying to quench my undying thirst for the CD I won on Ebay that isn't here yet!!

I was also thinking about everyone's stories of famous people and I remembered (do not laugh too loud!) that I once did a workout with Richard Simmons....

*sigh*

thank god that show "This is your life" isn't on anymore.....

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

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475 posted 2004-08-04 09:54 AM


Yay!! It's Toerag !!

I knew you'd come around you sly devil. Now, let's hear a story or two.


Susan - oh, please, DO tell us about Richard Simmons! Were you on one of his tapes? I had a couple of them. blushing here....oh well. hee hee. I think he's adorable. But, is he a pain in the "you-know-what" in person? Come on Susan SPILL !!


Serenity & iliana - get feelin' better ladies! Hugs!

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476 posted 2004-08-04 01:18 PM


Chris, now you go get that skalliwag Toe started and there will be not stopping him.     Now then, that is not all that bad a thing now is it?  

Welcome to Serenity's Garden Toe.  This is the place where we drop stories about life in general, and one story simply leads to another.  So pull up those green blades under your butt, and start to spill those southern beans.  

Janet Marie, as to Spitfire - I was always in absolute awe of that young lady's writing and wondered where she got to.  She just went and re-invented herself, so thank goodness I know who she is.  Will have to catch up as I didn't miss a thing under her last writer's name.  Thanks Janet Marie.

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477 posted 2004-08-04 01:41 PM


Jump starting myself again, so for those of you who have read this before, go eat a tomato sandwich...

[Thoughts in a bubble bath.]

To lie disconsolate then, in shadows, is only a window into a bleak future, and thoughts rumble as to what can be changed, and what cannot.  Would steps toward improving a relationship go farther than to take the pin and prick the bubble?  Does indeed time heal all wounds, or leave them gasping for a last pump of life's blood in fading moments?  Should I wear boots to the pig-roast?

Where do the country songwriters get their lyrics, and why can't they stretch more as those who pen words for poetry's sake?  "Do, shoe, clue…" does not allow much room for emotional expansion.  What does my face look like when I'm really pondering?  Is it as old as my mother's was at this age?  When still and in repose, do the eye-wrinkles show up as much as when I smile, and heaven knows it's been said I smile too much.  Does that make me proud of my wrinkles? I've earned them…

I wonder what folks think when I end my messages with ellipses…do they know I just want to say more, and sometimes cannot express myself the way I really would like to do…

Will the chicken-salad be enough to take, or should I take more to the roast?  Will anyone feel the tension between us?  Will someone say something and will I respond in a way that by tomorrow morning I will regret?  I need to stay away from the open bar and just sip soda and keep my sanity and wit and laugh at those who sip once too much, and be glad for the wisdom of age and past youth's experience.

I believe I would often be amazed if anyone could hear the rattling around in my brain, I do believe they would call those men in white coats…I do ramble so.

Why do I go from the most serious of questions to a lighter-hearted joking with myself...

[Thoughts in a bubble bath.]

Enchantress
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478 posted 2004-08-04 02:23 PM


"Oh! It's my party and I'll cry if I want to..cry if I want to..cry if I want to"
(feel free to sing along if you know the words)

Okay...okay..so it's my birthday..
But, it's raining cats and dogs here in Southwestern Ontario..
and everyone knows a Leo needs the sun!

As always on my birthday I take a few moments to reflect upon the past year.

This past year I would have to say the highlight is the ongoing friendships I have made here at Passions.  There are days, as some of you know, I just don't know what I would do without this place..and now to have Serenity's Garden to come to.  
To laugh and joke, cry or just relax.  

For this I thank you dear Karen.

You are all so precious to me and I love you all.

Toe!  It's great to see you here!
Stories please!

Little sister...Chrislane..Love ya lots and miss ya!

Vacation starts late tomorrow for three weeks,
but I'll pop in and out before I leave and stop in for a quick read
and maybe a post whenever I come back into town.

I wish I could take all of you with me...
I do have a laptop...hmmm....wondering where I can get Internet access.

I'll be back later...
Hugs all around.

Soleil Noir
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479 posted 2004-08-04 02:29 PM


Your sisters all will be here when you return, dearling Enchantress...have a wonderful birthday - the sun is out somewhere, you know...just waiting to break through the clouds!
serenity blaze
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480 posted 2004-08-04 03:01 PM


I had to pop in to hug my Nancy Lee...

Happy Birthday, my friend! Who needs the sun with a shining heart like yours, huh?

and Toerag, my old scalawag buddy, as soon as I'm able I'll be back. I'm just glad you finally showed, and in the meantime, how bout a N'awlins story...let's see. OH.

I'll bet YOU have been to the warehouse, huh?

DO Tell?

and blech, I'm going back to couch. Suddenly there's a lot of gravity in my life.

Love to all, and *ahem*, "carry on!"

I'll be 'round...

Toerag
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481 posted 2004-08-04 03:29 PM


The warehouse in Lafayette?....could be..LOL....Aaron Neville...Bonnie Raitt?....many others?.....
Elan
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482 posted 2004-08-04 03:35 PM


Any or all, Toe...

and then some.

Toerag
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483 posted 2004-08-04 03:56 PM


Some know me as Buzz, you know me as Toe,
The following's my life story, which a few of you know.
I was born on a mountain top in Tennessee,
"Ooops! That's Davy Crockett, not me.

I'm a mild mannered guy now,
But haven't always been,
Wish I could live my life over,
I'd do differently then.

I've sung with Paul McCartney,
Been drunk with Sam the Sham,
Traveled the country over
With the Allman Brothers Band.

I've brought life to this world
And I've made life leave,
Word's can't express
What that's done to me.

I took a man's life,
In Georgia state,
It broke my heart
But prevented a rape.

I've had many surgeries,
Been cut-probed and sliced,
A few were from doctors,
The others weren't nice.

My best friend's my son,
He's gettin' too old
I can see myself in him,
He's the second "Toe"

My daughter is gorgeous,
She's a bundle of fun,
I wish I saw her more often,
(I hope she becomes a nun)

She's fifteen years old
She's thirty years wise,
I could spoil her with riches,
But that wouldn't be right.

I believe in God, and believe it or not,
You wouldn't believe the morals I've got
I had parents that loved me
Now they're both gone,
I've had some prayers answered,
My faith remains strong.

I've made friends here and there,
And some enemies too,
I do unto others
As they do to you.

I wear a clown's face,
I play the part well,
But deep in my heart,
I'm miserable as hell.


Sunshine
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484 posted 2004-08-04 04:03 PM


We need Kit to devise a superhugger for moments like this.

You're a blessing in disguise...so don't pooh-pooh that - you know it's true...I see it in your eyes, just as you see me, too.


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485 posted 2004-08-04 04:45 PM


Ah, Toe.  My friend... and I am proud to call you that(among other things) .

Your just a lovable, huggable, rocknroll marshmallow that's had it's outsides made crispy over the coals. That can be a good thing.    So glad you've joined in!

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486 posted 2004-08-04 04:48 PM


Serenity...just to find out your age...who was the Tchapatoulis Brothers?.....do you know?....
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487 posted 2004-08-04 04:53 PM


You know Buzz, if everyone lived by that golden rule, of doing onto others as you would have them do onto you - what a great world it would be.

Bonnie Raitt - now you are talking - is that woman my favorite or what?  She is in a class all by herself that one.

Welcome aboard m'friend, looking forward to stories from the 60's and 70's you may have stashed in the trunk of one of those fancy cars?  

Pssst I sent you my answer in email  

[This message has been edited by Mysteria (08-04-2004 06:05 PM).]

Sunshine
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488 posted 2004-08-04 05:03 PM


Hey Toe...any stories from the '50's?
Enchantress
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489 posted 2004-08-04 05:11 PM


Yes..let's hear 50's stories!!
Some of us are old enough to remember the 50's quite well yanno?!

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490 posted 2004-08-04 05:11 PM


Tchoupitoulas---laughing, I had to look that up too and I've lived here all my life!

and my hubby wants to know if you're talking about "Bo" (or Beau) Dollis of The Wild Tchoupitoulas? He seems to recall it was a family deal...

(and you don't have to guess my age, I'm 43.)

Looking forward to some of your stories...heh heh, I think you're a little older than I am.

Thanks for coming to my party, Toe. I'm pleased.

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491 posted 2004-08-04 05:13 PM


yanno?

Given Serenity's age, that must mean I'm the BIG sister?

Sheesh...

serenity blaze
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492 posted 2004-08-04 05:14 PM


Came back to add a pronunciation key for "Tchoupitoulas" for you folks who don't know--and hey we can say it, we just can't SPELL it.

It's pronounced "Chop-a-too-lus" and you should have seen the sheepish looks around here when I asked how to spell it too!

Not one of us knew!

Toerag
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493 posted 2004-08-04 05:20 PM


The Nevilles started out with that name...
serenity blaze
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494 posted 2004-08-04 05:41 PM


Yep, that would be Charles. My hubby worked more with the Neville Brothers but I was more friends with his daughter, Charmaine, although the brothers are nice enough peops, by the time I was working in the booking end, they certainly didn't need help. But Charmaine and Reggie Houstan and Amasie are still together, playing every Thursday at the Snug Harbor. In fact, my son is named for the bass player, Zach.

All I really know about the brothers is I was told not to mention "Tell it Like it Is" to Aaron--the guys knew my penchant for running off at the mouth and had to warn me that it was a sore subject.

Wait a second, let me see if I can get somebody to post a pic for me, I've got a picture of my sis with Aaron backstage at some artsy awards show. (Now that's a funny story too--seems my sister met her idol Linda Rodstadt there and ended up calling her a witch with a captial "b.")

grin.

We just make friends everywhere we go, we do.

heh heh.

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495 posted 2004-08-04 05:45 PM


Snort, snort, chuckle, chuckle, but I love music of all kinds probably why I know a lot of useless stuff.  Karen, I had sent Toerag that answer by email.  Now there is a good exercise, who was what before they were whatever they are now.  Some actors had pathetic real names, no wonder you got your stars with star names.

Well back to ironing - I won't remember much from the 50's except all the stuff I couldn't have or couldn't do that is for sure.


serenity blaze
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496 posted 2004-08-04 05:54 PM


Another neat game we play is to name the tune and and all the re-makes...

For example, Elvis Presley's famous "Hounddog" was a remake of a Big Mama Thornton classic. (I think...heh, fried brains yanno)

man the list goes on and on and you really learn your blues brothers from that one!

gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

and I gotta run for a bit...Hope Kari has a present posted soon...grin?

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497 posted 2004-08-04 07:16 PM


Somebody's here...[geez, tell someone you're a big sis and you become a "somebody" really fast...young'un's have no respect...just no respect...]

Toe?

THIS is for YOU...



...and his music just happens to be on my computer, too...


Enchantress
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498 posted 2004-08-04 08:28 PM


TOO COOL!!!!

AWESOME!!!

serenity blaze
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499 posted 2004-08-04 09:15 PM


gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Thank you Kari! Now I need you all to circle the wagons around me, 'cause when twist finds out this is posted here, she's going to come after me hard!



(I'm only halfway joking, but since it's posted at her site too, I didn't see the harm...er, right, twist?)


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500 posted 2004-08-04 09:20 PM


What year was this taken, Serenity?  I've watched Mr. Neville a lot - he doesn't seem to age at all...
serenity blaze
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501 posted 2004-08-04 09:27 PM


I'll have to ask twist, but I believe it was the early nineties...and you're right about that too, he does NOT age. (It must be the mole, huh?)

(Doesn't make me want one, though. )

But yeah, it's a good story too. Twist wanted to belt Linda too. She said that little lady is pretty full of herself...and you know twist...shaking my head here, but grinning.


Susan Caldwell
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502 posted 2004-08-05 11:18 AM


LMAO

on a Richard Simmons tape??

I don't even like my picture being taken...I rip them up..

Can you see me running around trying to find every tape ever made?  I would go crazy trying.

Richard Simmons came to Naval Air Station Jacksonville, Florida during the first Golf war.  I was active duty at the time and stationed there/here. (I work here now as a civ. employee of the Navy).  Richard came here to do a work-out with anyone that wanted to join in.  I had the day off and thought, "what the hell".  It was the hardest workout I have ever done in my life!! That man nearly killed me!! and I was in decent shape!  But, damn it, I wasn't going to quit! Oh no...I was not to be outdone. By time it was over I was soaked, limping and determined to meet the little sucker!  

Well, turns out he was going to tape a segment after the workout for a show...now, this is where I thought..."oh yes!! I am going to get in on this won't Mom just die!!" (She loved him).

So there I am standing there waiting for them to choose me to sit in a circle on the floor with Richard Simmons and talk about the Navy!!!

Who did they choose?  Only woman that had husbands in the Navy that were deployed!! They had no interest in a female, serving her country during war time.  I lost all respect for Richard, and the media that day.

And yes...he shaves his legs.  

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

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503 posted 2004-08-05 01:15 PM


Susan I am not suprised at all about those legs         Next time you get slighted by the media in any away, you just speak right up and trust me the squeeky wheel does get oiled.  They sure don't like negative feedback out there!

This guy is a regular money-making machine.  Have you ever seen his line of dolls?  Now they have invented a new family (Nana's,) and of course it grows with more and more relatives, as more money is collected - here you go, have a look: http://www.ellensdolls.com/Templates/frmTemplateX.asp?SubFolderID=47&SearchYN=N
or the Home Shopping Network perhaps?
http://infomercial.tvheaven.com/richard-simmons-dolls.htm (This write-up is hilarious!)

Susan Caldwell
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504 posted 2004-08-05 01:28 PM


oh for the love of all that is...

*grumbles incoherently*

and that...takes the cake.

no need to tell anyone he shaves his legs anymore.

*sigh*

Enchantress
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505 posted 2004-08-05 02:36 PM


Serenity's Garden (Part 2)
Page 21
Number 505

I'm off to visit the "Quiet Waters".
Be back soon!

Susan Caldwell
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506 posted 2004-08-05 02:47 PM


Bye Nancy!!! Have fun and hurry back!!!
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507 posted 2004-08-05 02:52 PM


Enjoy your vacation - hope you are fishing?  Oh I miss those Ontario lakes, and all those huge buzzing bugs - not!  Seriously though, I miss lakes period!
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508 posted 2004-08-05 04:02 PM


Mystie...have ya tried a good bottle of wine, a good looking Toerag, a loaf of freshly baked french bread..smothered in Land Of "Lakes" butter?....(THE TOERAG AND THE BREAD THAT IS)
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509 posted 2004-08-06 12:51 PM


Geez, talk about a fattening snack
Susan Caldwell
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510 posted 2004-08-06 09:51 AM


Karen??

Where are you??

Guess what I got in the mail and am listening to????

Way too cool!!  

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

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511 posted 2004-08-06 12:35 PM


Awwww....now I'm bummed. (sorry Ser)
Here all along I thought Richard Simmons was a sweet guy. A helping hand to others in need. Instead he's an egotisical, moneygrabbin' twirp. I knew he shaved his legs......now I am wonderin' what else is hairless?!! Tsk...tsk....you guys! I meant maybe he shaves his Dalmations.  
  Oh dear, I am sooooo tard. Like a dawg.
Had my grandsons, The A-Team(Aaron & Andrew) over yesterday for their very first "sleepover." Ha ha haaaa...I laugh at that term. I woke in the middle of the night with what I thought was a chubby little hand in my ear.....nope....wrong....a foot. Good grief what energy two year olds and four year olds have!!
   Aaron, the oldest said to me this morning. "Amma come quick, it's the first day of Autumn!" I came over to the window seat where he was excitedly pointing to something. "No honey, it's not Autumn yet." I replied. "Oh yes it is!" "Look".... I looked outside and there in our driveway were maple tree leaves scattered about. "You're right Aaron....the leaves do fall in the Autumn...just not yet." I hugged him. "Ya." he nodded and continued, "not till they're painted."  I hugged him again, even tighter this time.  

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512 posted 2004-08-06 06:44 PM


I'm ba---ack...had to go do my doctor duties the past few days. What fun. Blech.

And Susan? Let me know what your favorite is? I hope you're enjoying "Court & Spark" truly a classic, it is, and it has the added benefit of clearing the room for me as Joni seems to work everybody's nerves but mine over here. *shaking my head*

(How can a singing bird bother anybody's nerves?)

Chrislane? sigh........Autumn. I'm hanging on in the steam here. We're supposed to get a brief respite overnight, and it may last half the day, so maybe I'll venture outside on the morrow.

And now? I told myself I would catch up on the emails...so off I go to yahoo...

It's good to be home.

and Ohhhhhhhhhhh, Mysteria, I'm so sorry I missed your call. Wah.

Hugs all.

Enchantress
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513 posted 2004-08-10 07:31 PM


Hi All!!

Just popping in and playing catch up with my reading...
laundry, phone calls to return, and we'll be off to the 'quiet waters' once again.

BUT!!  I did miss you all so much!

Big big hugs!

serenity blaze
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514 posted 2004-08-10 08:20 PM


Did you bring me anything, huh, huh?

Like perhaps a story? hmmmm?

*winking and tapping my foot*

Welcome home Nance!

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515 posted 2004-08-10 11:20 PM


Hi Poetry People !!  I haven't been around here lately as we purchased a trailor at a family campground just outside of town. So, I am officially now "trailor trash" and I love it!! There is a man made lake and the ducks and geese are quite comical to watch. The babies come right up to your deck at your trailor and eat from your hand! So, I may not be here much the rest of the summer.....well, I will be in spirit. Miss you all so much. Be well my tiared friends!
Hugs all round. Chrislane

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516 posted 2004-08-11 01:28 PM



I know something YOU don't know...

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517 posted 2004-08-11 01:58 PM


oh secrets..hmmm...

im watching for the show and tell...

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518 posted 2004-08-11 02:03 PM




garysgirl
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519 posted 2004-08-11 11:42 PM


Hello everybody  
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520 posted 2004-08-12 02:15 AM


Hi, all!  

Okay, Karilea, I'm now dieing of curiosity?????  Come on, tell us, p l e a s e?!

GG
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521 posted 2004-08-12 03:13 AM


backatcha!
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522 posted 2004-08-12 03:20 AM


LOOK, its Ethel! Hi ethel

now, whats the secret???????

serenity blaze
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523 posted 2004-08-12 04:00 AM


I'll bet she's waiting for me to ask.

c'mon woman, FESS UP! All this incessant bouncing of yours is making my eyes buggy!


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524 posted 2004-08-12 08:47 AM




Soon.

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525 posted 2004-08-12 05:23 PM


Do you want me to start GUESSING?


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526 posted 2004-08-12 08:53 PM


Hmmmm, wonder what it could be?    Is there a prize for the winner of this guessing contest by any chance?  If there is, I guess possibly a book?
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527 posted 2004-08-12 11:12 PM


Ummm.....is it bigger than a breadbox?
Can you serve it with tea?
Ummmm.... does it have two or four legs?
    Oh, I give up!

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528 posted 2004-08-13 06:52 AM


LOL...No prizes, except for Moi.  Well, hmmm, if I could be considered a prize, then perhaps I'm a prize for another PiPster...

Chris, definitely bigger than a breadbox, I would say tea would be served to "it", and you're ok with two legs.  

Clues can be fun.  LOL...I'll see if I can come up with some clues of my own...

I'll be back!

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529 posted 2004-08-13 10:58 AM


You are going on a trip?
You are visiting someone who wears a tiara perhaps?


ARRRRRGGHHHHH !!!!

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530 posted 2004-08-13 11:07 AM


Oh Chris...if this had been a contest, you win!!!

Yes!  I'm headed for CA in late September...and it's quite possible, with a little luck, I will meet one of our pipsters who definitely wears a crown!  

I received [for the first time ever] an invitation to attend a high school reunion.  I told my spouse that I would send a "photo and a letter" and he said...

"why don't you just go?"

HA!

I haven't looked back.  Tickets are purchased...and I've been calling family and friends to make arrangements.  Talk about one excited lady!  And believe it or not, one of the things I'm looking forward to is driving up and down the coastline...I have missed that pleasure for a long time...

and there's a peaceful sense in one's solitude when on the California seaboard.

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531 posted 2004-08-13 01:55 PM


Well I just bet you meet a little flower face too while you are down there.   Oh, the shopping, the shopping down there - now that I miss.
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532 posted 2004-08-13 02:03 PM


LOL...not too concerned about shopping...just getting to see family and friends...that's my agenda!  Taking my laptop with me, so communication won't be broken!
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533 posted 2004-08-13 04:10 PM


Gleeeeeeeeee! That's great Karilea. Would I love to go there with you!!! Have a wondeful time. Hugs.
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534 posted 2004-08-13 09:51 PM


Karilea, I am so excited for you....and I expect to see some redwood forest pictures!!!  And, of course, ocean pictures.  I had been dying to know your secret.... *big grin* ....jo
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535 posted 2004-08-14 07:29 AM


When I was last in CA, they commonly referred to specific locations as Upper, Central and Lower CA.  If I've got things figured right, I'll be up and down the coastline from the lower mid-Central to Lower CA...and that's a whole lotta coastline!

Better watch out what you ask for, Jo...with digital camera and laptop availability, I'm going to be dangerous with the number of photos I bring back!  LOL...

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536 posted 2004-08-14 07:36 AM


I wish I were going...please have a good enough for all of us, you two!


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537 posted 2004-08-14 08:41 AM


and Kari? Thanks!


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538 posted 2004-08-14 01:59 PM


I dunno...do you think
my classmates are going
to say, "yeah, I remember you..."

Especially considering we're
covering almost four decades?

LOL

Have a giggle, kids...

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539 posted 2004-08-14 02:09 PM


Kari? You are so pretty.

I was just telling Mysteria Sharon that everytime I see that smile I think of one of those synchronized swimmer ladies.

.

Well it was meant as a compliment.



But can't ya'll just see her, smiling in the water, then upside down doing those scissor kick things?

(shush Toe, yer imagination is admirable, but I'm way ahead of you there... )


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540 posted 2004-08-14 02:41 PM


  I always WANTED to be a swimmer!  LOL...unfortunately, my synchronization is about as coodinated as my meter, which, as all know, although I try?  It just ain't there...sigh...

About the time of the 2nd photograph, I was working for the head guy in the Department of Water, etc., in a town I won't mention, and one of the ladies there, who would have been about the age I am now...was one of those wonderfully experienced ladies that had done everything, been everywhere, and knew it all, so the lot of us figured she had to be about 385 with all of her experience.  

Well, it was shortly after I had my second child, and I came into work, with that dastardly ever-present SMILE.  

"Do you have to be happy EVERY DAY?"

huh?

Stammering, I said,

"well, it's just me..."

to which she responded...

"No one can be happy ALL the time!"

Oh.

Well, she tried to wipe the smile off my face, but as you can see?  She didn't succeed.  And you're all stuck with it! LOL....

~*~

Serenity...thank you for the compliment.  I have never viewed myself as "pretty".  "Ok", perhaps, but nothing more.  Hindsight is a wonderful thing...I can actually accept the fact that I have the chutzpah to put those photos on your thread.  

Truthfully, I have a highly sensitive nature and had to layer on some thick skin over the years.  Words could, and DID, hurt me when I was young.  In fact, my trulier "thicker skin" came from being here, at Passions.  I tell you, these last five years have been an education all in itself.  I wonder if I can get Ron to mail me a "Degree in Self-Confidence..." LOL...

And thank you, Sis, for letting me have a place in your thread to just relax and be myself...

iliana
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541 posted 2004-08-14 05:43 PM


Serenity .... lol, she would make a cute synchronized swimmer.  Yes, I could have pictured that.     

Sunshine, you sure were, and still are, a cutie.  Have a great time on your trip!  *hugs* SIL  

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542 posted 2004-08-14 10:19 PM


*pops head in

Wow..anybody else see the Raquel Welch resemblance thing going on with Karilea?

*pops head out

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543 posted 2004-08-14 11:51 PM


and Kari? I swear Raph did not receive the pic of you in the skin thong bikini from me!



Raph? Y'gotta a story to tell?

eeeeeeeeeeeeegadsgleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I'm beside myself.

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544 posted 2004-08-15 12:48 PM


the third pic especially i'm telling you there's a raquel welch thing going on..

stories? no, officially i'm not here. you didn't see nothin'

*scurries back into his hermit cave*

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545 posted 2004-08-15 12:50 PM


youre a HOT chick Kairlea.

umm, yeah, you are soooo pretttty.

and yes, now everyone has this notion of you doing the leg scissors thing wearing a sequined bathingsuit. LOL

where do i apply for some "thick skin"? cause ya know, these things would come in handy theses days.

have fun at the reunion, i would be too scared to go to my own.

and dont forget to "spike" the punch LOL

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546 posted 2004-08-15 12:51 PM


Raph, stop all that scurryin'
might land ya on someone's dinner plate LMAO

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547 posted 2004-08-15 01:00 AM


Absolutely tho, Raph. That third pick is rather Raquel...hmm.

Yanno? I never looked at that before.

You're right.

Kari? c'mere baby...There's a Stephanie Powers aura too tho...

Geez, Kari. You shoulda hung around the brown derby more often!


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548 posted 2004-08-15 01:54 AM


'thems hermits is good eatin!'

*duelling banjos in the background*

ok i'm going to attempt sleep now...sighs

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549 posted 2004-08-15 09:13 AM


ROFL...   You folks are TOO much.  The pic on the far left is, of course, 1969, and one year after the Brown Derby story...

The second photo was done for a friend who wanted to practice his photography, circa 1979.

The third one was 1980 when I applied to take a position as a recruiter for a business college.  And the high schools  changed the rules about how their students were going to learn about various colleges.

In fact, that's a story.....

It was back in the sixth grade [and stop me if I've told this before] when the speech teacher basically told me that I should never ever again raise my hand to join in a debate.  Why?

Because I had a stutter when nervous, and talking in front of people ALWAYS made me nervous.  But not only did he bring attention to it, he did it in front of the class.  

Oh, I had prepared for the debate...I had worked very hard.  But my stutter got in the way and apparently he had no time for that.  Well, I guess not, classes being only 50 minutes or so.

Humiliated is not a strong enough word for how I felt that day.  And I'm a great one for silent, solemn vows.  This vow was your classic, "I'll show him someday!!!"

But it never happened as I progressed through high school, or into my first year of college.  Life got in the way, and I remained a fairly shy, nervous young person and always hoped that the teacher would never call on me to stand up and speak out...just let me hand in my paper, please, and if you need to talk to me, let's do it one on one.  

Well, it was after I remarried the second time and we ended up in Battle Creek, Michigan, I took a job with a business college so I could recruit kids to "do more" with their lives.  I didn't think I would get the job, because my first husband set me back on continuing my own education - and kids came, so a lot of you can figure out that kids, and work, were primary, and taking care of my "selfish needs" of going to school was "out of the picture"...for the moment.

But wow...talk one on one with kids and get them go to school?  I could do that.  I could use my own background [see, if you don't finish with a good education, you have a job like this... ]

As I said, though, the schools changed the criteria.  No more sitting behind a table with brochures and speaking to students only if they came to your table.  Nope.  Recruiters were now expected to give a talk to classes [read, in front of students] on WHY they should attend this business college...

Uh-oh.

Oh my.

This was NOT going to be easy for moi.  But my spouse said, "you can do it" so I took that same basic criteria I was going to use, one on one...and turned it into an interactive speech.  Giving kids a chance to ask questions, and being prepared for them, after relaying my "life story" at the age of 29.  [Not much of a life, but my potholes were to be avoided...]

I traveled around the southwest portion of Michigan for a full school year, having had visited several classes 2-3 times a week and was mentally saying to that former 6th grade teacher..."I don't stutter anymore..." with a few "nyah nyahs" thrown in when feeling particularly spunky.

And then one school informed me that I would only give one talk to their schoolkids and I thought, "hmmm, they must have polled the kids to see who wanted to attend a business college..." so I figured it would still be a regular sized class.

Nope.

I was speaking to ALL of the junior AND senior high school students in their auditorium.

And I didn't know it until I got there.

I turned into one huge shaky, stuttering nerve.  Mentally, I said to Him..."that's for the nyah nyah's, isn't it?"

Well, I managed through it...hecklers and all.  You see, this was a mandatory meeting, and there were several students who would have rather been in another place.  The hecklers were taken care of though...I don't remember what I said, but I think the "mother voice" came into play, and I got through the 90 minutes of introduction to my life, and the Q&A period.

I do have, somewhere in my own archives, a letter from that school for the excellent job I did, along with a few letters from the students that eventually went on and did better things with their lives.  

Shortly after that I was offered a position to work as an assistant for a President of a food manufacturing restaurant business in Marshall, Michigan.  I was glad for the experience of the recruiting job...but I was also glad I would never have to speak in front of large groups again.

Wrong.

LOL...but that's another story, and would reflect more on the last picture, taken last year.

Now, as for the Raquel, let alone Stephanie remarks, all I can say, my poet friends, is that my smile is THIS wide this morning...and for those kind comments, I thank you.  You see?  Mentally...I'm still that ugly duckling, but now I don't mind poking fun at myself.  Especially if I get the first poke.

You are all too precious.  No wonder I love this home.




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550 posted 2004-08-17 09:24 PM


Making a special request of my PiP friends...

Put myself out on a limb, and now I need a few fingers crossed.  As this tends to impede typing, however, just cross your eyes and wish me luck, please.

For the first time ever, Kansas is going to choose its state Poet Laureate.  You cannot nominate yourself.  The rules are very firm, the criteria very strict.  My Prairie Inkwells partner and friend, Bridget Shenachie, made the nomination, and I did the rest of the work gathering all required information and a few poems.

So...as I have informed a few...they will probably choose one who is strong in academics...

but it was an exercise, nonetheless, and I learned something about myself along the way.






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551 posted 2004-08-17 09:45 PM


Crossing my fingers, eyes and toes Karilea !!
This is awesome !! WooooooooooooHooooooo !!

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552 posted 2004-08-17 10:54 PM


academics smacademics...

they need to pick someone strong in MUSE.

Congrats Kari, the opportunity will open doors...and win or not...it wont change the fact that writing is in your blood.

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553 posted 2004-08-17 11:05 PM


Good luck Karilea, and I want to ditto JM's remarks if I may, as sometimes people are so over-educated they tend to say very little.  If the level of academics is the criteria, they are surely on the wrong track.  You always grow from trying so good luck.

I am suffering big time up here in Vancouver, and have basically turned into a lazy slug.  I can NOT stand this heat, and they say it will just get a little worse every year.  I never thought I would pray for rain, but I sure am, and won't ever complain about being soggy again.  I have no idea how people in the South deal with this heat, I really don't. (I guess an air-conditioner will be next on my shopping list.)

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554 posted 2004-08-17 11:38 PM


Karilea -- okay that answers one question.  Yes, my fingers are crossed!   ...jo
iliana
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555 posted 2004-08-17 11:40 PM


Sharon -- I was wondering where you were.  Now I know.  It's not been as hot this summer as usual....really odd.   ...jo
iliana
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556 posted 2004-08-17 11:40 PM


Calling Karen....where ya been, Karen???
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557 posted 2004-08-17 11:56 PM


Iliana, I have NO energy and certainly no inspiration these days to write squat, but fall/winter is coming, thank goodness.  They tell me I am a "summer" and if that is so, I wonder why I like cold weather so much   

Karen I believe is wearing her boss hat to those putting in her new tile floors.  I personally can't wait until this reno is done, now back to sitting in front of my

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558 posted 2004-08-18 05:12 AM


I'm checking in now to say a goodnight--the floor IS done, 'cept for the molding.

(Now for my bookshelves! hugging me in my own gleeeeeeeeeeeee)

And Kari? I've been waiting for this. You know I'll continue on with well wishing prayers--you deserve to be honored as you are one of the most hardest working writers I've met.

And now...I have to try that sleep thang...

I'd cross my fingers but I can't type with 'em UNCROSSED, so just say "shhhhhhh" while I shut down and tiptoe off to couch. Hopefully I won't step on a dog on the way.



love to all, tired me...

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559 posted 2004-08-19 05:33 AM


I just caught up on my reading. It was good to see all of you.
    

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560 posted 2004-08-19 03:12 PM


Ethel!  Welcome home!!!
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561 posted 2004-08-20 04:08 AM


I haven't told a story in so long.

My thoughts have been bumper pool crazy in my skull of late, and I can't seem to find that calm it takes for me to just ease a paddle into the waters all gentle and smooth. When writing feels good, that's what it is like. It's...well, serenity.

But I thought I'd share a gift I received tonight. It felt more like a care package actually. It was from my brother, Keith, who died unexpectedly a little over a year ago. It was a bundle of letters he had written to me, from Smith County Jail in Texas, as well as some from Huntsville State Penitentiary--a section known as "The Walls."

They are very dear to me, and the only reason they left my possession was because one year, on my brother's birthday, I found myself without a gift to give to him. No money. No chance of getting any either.

He'd mentioned once or twice that he might like to write a book of experiences, so I worked from that, and I gathered all the letters I'd received from him, (one, sometimes two a week) for the three and a half years he was incarcerated. I added photos of him I had kept. There he was playing guitar. In another, at our kitchen table, playing "RISK" with some buddies. There were pictures of the family which I knew he didn't have--my brother was a vagabond and not the photo album type. I put all of this in a box, with a couple of legal pads and one of those great smooth-writing gel pens, and wrote on the first page of the yellow legal pad, "Now WRITE."

But tonight, I called my sister just to say "howdy" and she told me she had found a grocery bag on the front stoop--full of letters from Keith addressed to ME. It seems his former room-mate had found them and kindly deposited them there for us to find. Funny, I searched through piles of notebook scribblings, books, and personal belongs after his death, looking for just this very thing. I was heartbroken when I didn't find them, and I remembered my brother, when I gave him that gift, insisting that I keep them, because he would only lose them.

I told him he'd need them for his book.

He told me it was the best present that anyone had ever given him.

*  *  *

I had forgotten my glasses tonight, so I sat on the porch, squinting, holding fluttering paper at arm's length, reading, reading, reading. Crying, yes, but I was laughing too, when I'd read the phrasings that were uniquely his, hearing his voice from the pages.

I found a poem he'd written in one letter.

In another? I found character sketches of his cellmates.

Then I found one without a postmark. It had been addressed to me and never sent. He had written across it--"too negative to send". It was seven pages long, front and back, in tight script, with urgent, desperate underlinings--and somethings scratched indeciperable. I had found my brother's lamentation, his "Jeremiad", and funny, but I stopped crying then, while I read. I had simply ceased to be. I was there, with him, in the days of monotony, the humiliation of daily bowel movements and showers and inspections and censored writings...it was synopsis of all the letters from prison anyone has ever read.

It stunned me.

This letter was dated September 17, 1978, and here I was, finally reading the words of his experiences.
The things that happened that forever changed him. The things that bent him into a being who reacted with actions I didn't equate with the person I knew from before those trials. I held in my trembling hands the complete understanding of my brother.


If I may, I'll quote him here, from one of the letters I read tonight:

"Every day is like the day before. I sit here wondering how I got here, and I realized that I was always on the highway, looking for short-cuts. I thought I was bored. Now I know what [expletive] boredom is! So stop all that yawning, you've got the world by the balls.

Let my life be a light to you--better yet, a roadmap. Don't take home for granted, and take care of Mom & Dad. I love them more than they could believe from now."

Then there was,

"I love you, too,

with his signature

"p.s. send Gene's address"

and this made me laugh out loud:

"p.p.s. REGISTER TO VOTE!"

*shaking my head*

I miss him, but this was so fine a present I had to share. Perhaps there will be more, I dunno, but right now, I just kissed his ashes, and told him, "be careful what you wish for brother, I AM registered and you can no longer cancel out my vote!"

*  *  *

We got on like that, we did.  

*  *  *

I love you my brother and that don't die!


(and I came back to correct the date--I was going to correct the typos and misspells, all the bad syntax, but then I shrugged and thought, "it reads more like a letter from prison with them in.")

Thanks for listening, yet again.

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (08-20-2004 05:06 AM).]

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562 posted 2004-08-20 07:57 AM


KA?  *huggingyou* ....


very very cool baby...Im so happy for you that those letters resurfaced. I know how much all that means and what can be learned.

4 years later and Vante's family is still finding hidden poems and letters in books and drawers...his brother found a poem right before my last birthday...

ya gotta love those "traces"

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563 posted 2004-08-20 08:37 AM


I still can't believe it.

*hugging me*

All that was left was a cigar box full, compared to a BUNDLE, but that one letter is priceless--the one I'd never read.

I'm so happy, Jan.

(and that pic? sorry it's in such bad shape, but it was the only one taken the night of his b'day and it was made into a refrigerator mag and when it fell into the sink? I scanned it to save...and that's priceless to me too. He's actually holding one of the letters in that pic, I believe.)

sigh.

A beautiful, surprise, and trust they will be kept cherished.


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564 posted 2004-08-20 08:56 AM


"but that one letter is priceless"

~*~

You are blessed in SO many ways...

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565 posted 2004-08-20 08:59 AM


Well, according to Keith, I've got the world by the um, gonads.

And yanno? Right now, this moment, I do believe that.


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566 posted 2004-08-20 12:34 PM


but a happy cry.

Just was meant to be.  That love karma thing again, and it is postive at that.

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567 posted 2004-08-20 09:25 PM


Karen,

And, I know this right here more so than you will ever know.......

I was there, with him, in the days of monotony, the humiliation of daily bowel movements and showers and inspections and censored writings...it was synopsis of all the letters from prison anyone has ever read.


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568 posted 2004-08-20 09:28 PM


Serenity, little miracles happen ever day, as you know so well.  Those big ones always seem to come at exaclty the right time.  *hugging you* .......jo

Hi ya, Sharon, hope it's cooling down a bit.

Hey, Sunshine.....waiting in anticipation for news about your entry.  How long will it take?  

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569 posted 2004-08-20 10:01 PM


Jo, finally yes!  It is getting cloudy, and they say it is going to rain for days, I can hardly wait!  I knew I loved this place but never did I welcome its rain like I do right now.  Enough is enough of this heat.

I have been filling big black bags and more bags all day to give to our local charity, as they have a drive on to get goods and raise money  to help our homeless here over the colder months.  I purged like some mad woman, (so far 6 huge bags of clothes and shoes, 2 picnic baskets full of stuff, and 3 boxes full of kitchen stuff.)  I never realized I had so much hidden until I watched Home and Garden Television, where they had this show on organization.  Those that know me, know I am a neat freak, but never did I realize I was that organized to hide THAT much stuff that well.  Out it goes.  You know?  This getting older is fun, less to take care of, and more time for me.  

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570 posted 2004-08-20 10:15 PM


Ethel? I forgot to hug you welcome "home."



And ain't our Sharon just as cute as bug?



Okay, Sharon, I concede, no such thing as a cute bug.

But yer still cute.

and a howdy to everybody! :waving:

I've been reading, and cooking, and reading and reading...

yummies everywhere!

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571 posted 2004-08-20 10:22 PM


So where're my cookies?  

Jo, dear...I've no idea when the announcement will take place.  All entries were to be in by September 1, 2004.

The "office" won't take place until 2005 and will be a two year commitment.  Which means that when one is chosen, they have some time to reorganize their lives a bit so they can serve on this very active chair.
http://arts.state.ks.us/programs.html

Here is the site regarding all what was required and what will be expected of their candidate.  I've gone over their form several times, and I can find nothing on there that says when they will make their announcement, or how contact will be made - one way or the other.  But they have all required information on my part, so it's sit and definitly NOT twiddle one's thumbs time...there is still so much to do just day to day.

Serenity, I've read your brother's story a few times now.  He was extremely fortunate to have you in his life.

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572 posted 2004-08-21 08:46 PM



Just peeking in with a quiet 'hello'...

I hope life is being good to you all...


And, Karen?...

HUGE HUGS to you...

I'm so happy that Keith's letters were returned to you, and that you found such a special part of your brother in the bunch... 'priceless', indeed...

Love you, my sis...

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573 posted 2004-08-21 09:42 PM


YEA!  Vicky's reading!  Vicky...check your e-mail....

And Karen?  For a different reason, check yours, too!


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574 posted 2004-08-21 11:06 PM


Got it! (and g'nite, Kari! )

and I know I got quiet after sharing my happiness at finding a bit of my brother, but I had to have time to digest what I was reading and learning about him, and somehow make it fit in with what I already knew.

I like things to make SENSE. I really want things to mean something. And the happy answer would have been (and I giggle a bit here) that my brother had reached from beyond (oh I said that out loud mockingly as I typed too--my daughter thinks me nuts again-- )but anyhoo, I suppose that I could have taken it that way and put a happy ending on the stories of us, but then, in that teeter-totter way that is my life, I got news of the loss of another friend:
http://www.nola.com/obituaries/t-p/index.ssf?/base/obits-21/1092983212301190.xml

Like I said, I like things to make SENSE. And I find myself wondering, "now what is THIS?"

The cause of death is no doubt underscored as I'm trying to figure out the indeciperable. (Don't think it didn't give me some anxiety coupled with a sense of urgency, too.)

Funny tho, I don't even cry anymore. It's like, "there goes another one of us..."

And I am human--so I do wonder at times why not me, along with the obvious "when me"? But it all sounds so melodramatic out loud, and it even looks ridiculous in print to me.

For now, I'm just tired of trying to find an answer. I think the Cap is right--I'm trying to figure out something that isn't even a question.

It's like Dustin Hoffman in "Rainman". Poor guy, walking through life in half-steps, trying to figure out "Who's on first?"

Remember?

"It's a JOKE, Ray. You're never gonna figure out who's on first, 'cause it's a joke."

Maybe life is like that...all I know is I'm kinda tired and the heat is making me cranky. But I'm still here, folks.

I don't have a clue as to WHY--but I am.



But anyhow, her name was Kerry. They didn't mention it, but she was a pretty good amateur photographer, who took some great candids backstage and managed to sell more than a few. I'm not surprised her family didn't mention it though. It was all part of the lifestyle we embraced that has proven to be the catalyst for our various exits.

(and btw, don't go fussin'--sharons? that means YA'LL--I'll be released from the internist on Monday and it's on to the next! grin--my insurance company rues the day they agreed to THIS family's coverage.)

But that's way more than I wanted to say, but I wanted to explain and let ya'll know I'm okay.

Really.


GG
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575 posted 2004-08-22 12:48 PM


I know it means nothing,
but
I'm sorry...



Yeah, uhm,
life sucks.
(I usually remember that at about the third funeral of each year. Around the same time that I remember how ironic it is that they're the ones that died and I'm still here.)

Oh well, though... right?
yeah.

Hang in there.


serenity blaze
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576 posted 2004-08-22 12:57 PM


Thanks GG for the sentiment.

I didn't intend to illicit sympathy--the primary feeling I've got going on here is confusion, actually.

*shaking my head*

and so many people are going through so much right now, and there's so much to worry about in the "bigger picture" that I have to wonder if this is just new to me--maybe I just started paying attention, yanno?

But thank you. I think I'll go read on the other side of the room for a while.

Adds a little spice to my life to do something different.

nite folks.

Martie
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577 posted 2004-08-22 01:09 AM


I love you all...I'm still here ....just so filled up, and the words are still feelings...one day they will be words ...I know you all understand that.  
serenity blaze
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578 posted 2004-08-22 03:45 AM


It looks like another no-sleeper again.

Hugs, Martie, 'cause I know you know and I wish you didn't.


GG
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579 posted 2004-08-22 04:17 AM


I know. I never say anything because people want me to. Only because I want to. Same reason writing is so great.
Anyyyway.

Why would anyone sleep if, instead, you could uhh not sleep!

I think we need a blood-shot eye smiley!

serenity blaze
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580 posted 2004-08-22 07:03 AM


hey you! Wasn't expecting anybody to reply this early.

I'm glad you're here tho. Yer good company. While I was over there staring at the pages of a book and definitely not reading, (and certainly not sleeping) I got to thinking.

I got to thinking that this journal was never really about my feelings in the present time, and that every time I did own up to some actual emotion of the day, I felt embarrassed. So I asked myself

"How come, Karen?"

(I talk to myself alot. I even talk out loud while I type THIS stuff. I happen to be whispering now.)

Well my answer (partly) was that I was afraid of appearances. The present, being unresolved, only frustrates me (and my good hearted friends) because of the apparent sameness of the situation.

"You never take my advice!" Grin. We've all said it. We've all done it. We've all grown deaf to even our dearest friends and family who seem to make the same mistakes over and over. The fact that I haved bitched and moaned about the same situation for four years now is an embarrassment to me. So I just try not to talk about it. Then...I explode. That's even more embarrassing.

There's also the fact that stories are more entertaining, even the sad ones, when they are done. I can say damned near anything about stuff that happened years ago, and there's always the silver lining of "Ah, but you survived!" And of course, my stories aren't just mine--there's also the problem of tact when sharing tales of the present. I mean, um, there are other people involved.

So talking about the past allows me to share without running into all of the difficulties listed above. But I also realize, that it ain't exactly honest. I mean, there are people of understanding who knew immediately that my stories are my own little art of distraction. (Thank god/dess they have been kind too.) I realize that I show myself nekkid here more than I care to admit to myself, and if I don't own up to it it's because I may go back to sticking my head in the proverbial sand, which leads me to the next portion of the conversation that I had with myself.

"Karen," I said to me, "you are depressed. This is not just a rough spot, you're properly clinically depressed."

"Yes," I agreed with me. "But don't tell anybody." (I even joke around with myself.)

"You think they don't know?" I snorted at me.

I sighed.

"It's like being stuck in quicksand."

Now I started playing therapist with myself,

"And what's that like?"

So...I looked it up just now.
http://science.howstuffworks.com/quicksand2.htm

(Told ya'll, I like things to make sense.)

This cheered me right the hell up. No kidding. It's not as bad as I thought.

If you read the info in the link, the first thing I'm supposed to do is NOT PANIC.

(I've really gotta work on that part--anxiety sucks and all that accompanying thrashing just creates a vaccum, nod, pulling me in deeper.)

I cope with frightening things by knowing as much as I can about them. So actually, just understanding my metaphor has already started to help.

so, okay. The next thing they say to do is to relax and float.

Yay!

I've had some experience in that. This, I can do. And no, no, folks, not the old standby of flotation devices either. I've been weened off the painpills prescribed after surgery and the cap is firmly ON the fifth of whiskey. I do understand that pouring myself a huge glass of depressant is like grabbing onto a stone and holding it while I sink. So yes, for now, for today, there's no stones. Grin. (Sometimes I amuse myself with my own allusions--er, obviously)

Slow movements are recommended. Good. That's about all I can handle. "Try spreading your arms and legs far apart" (more experience there)"and leaning over to increase your surface area"

Increase my surface area? *frown* Not quite what I had in mind, but hey, I can always decrease it later, right?

("Shut up and keep thinking happy thoughts, Karen.")

"As long as you keep a cool head in the situation, the worst result will be a shoe full of wet sand."

Whew.

Now for all of you who are wondering why I don't just scream for a shrink to throw me a stick and pull me out like in the movies? Well, this ain't the movies--and my insurance covers ONE.

Oh, yes, I have a GP who could (and has) write anti-depressants, but I happened to have been previously diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, and that stuff only increases my despair. And good people, we are all unique creatures, with very different chemicals floating around in our gravity bags, so don't assume what I do for myself is advice for YOU. It ain't.

Thanks for listening to my experiment of sharing the actual "here and now" with you all. Now back to the part of the thread where I was happy--

Kari? Thank you for the kind comment regarding my brother. I don't know how lucky he was to have me, though.

It was a mutual connection we shared, and I think I can finally admit to how deep the grief and loss actually go. It's a rare and beautiful thing to make that spirit connection with anybody--and I am fortunately blessed to have made that connection many times over, with people in the flesh and my screen people here at Pip.

I believe we all start feeling disconnected from "the source" at birth because we are literally disconnected from the moment the umbilical cord is cut. I believe that every addiction is a misguided attempt to imitate the comfort of the womb.

I've come to the conclusion that it ain't going to happen, either. (I called my mom and asked, she said, "no".)

I guess growing up is accepting that.

There is a story in Buddhism regarding Buddha meditating under the Boda tree, fasting, and praying for enlightment.

I believe he finally got up and ate. Flesh is like a baby--if you want to get any rest, tend to it first, and then you can tend to yourself.

So there's my newfound, momentary wisdom folks. It's a fleeting thing, so don't quiz me on it later.

Love to all, with hugs.

(I've got "mail.")

Smile.


Sunshine
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581 posted 2004-08-22 07:20 AM


quote:
...and I am fortunately blessed to have made that connection many times over, with people in the flesh and my screen people here at Pip.


I just pinched me'self.  OW!  I seem pretty real to me, but after reading all of the above, who says I'm not a figment of someone's imagination after all?  

You're a good read for 6:00 a.m. CST, especially with a cup of creamy coffee.  [When I come to visit, CoffeeMate or equivalent is a must - but I'll go to the store to get it because I'll put you out of it within three days time.  I buy in bulk... ]

It use to be, concerning our being here versus the alternative, that I've told my mother-in-law, bless her heart, that "you're not done teaching yet, Mom..."  She got HER start in a one room school house, as did her mother, as did she in later becoming a teacher and providing education to others, and as did her son... [and that brings to mind yet another story...for later]

...but with the passing of yet another of hers, this time a sister-in-law, only two years younger than she, she is pretty much fed up to HERE...and in watching her, feeling with her, I finally realized what the problem is.

Everyone's at the party, but her.

Those of her "age" are few.  She has one remaining sister-in-law...and the next "friend" of the community is six years her junior.  After that, her friends are at least ten years her junior, or more.

She wants her invitation. She's pretty well convinced she's earned it.  So I've gone beyond telling her that she still has some teaching to do.

Now I tell her that her invitation will come, soon enough, then give her a kiss, and a hug, and listen to the stories that I haven't yet tired of.  I just wish I could get her to allow me to bring the tape recorder, for comments such as "that just pulls straws!"

And some thought just entered my head.  You see, my Mom passed away on my mother-in-law's birthday.  Mom's invitation will probably come on MY birthday.

Things happen like that.  And for some reason, it just seems to me that not only will it be quite right, but also quite possible.  I think we're in for a very long, white, cold winter.


Sunshine
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582 posted 2004-08-22 08:03 AM


Serenity, I promised you a little surprise when you woke up.  Well, you see, and as you know, I love to share, and I’m not wealthy, so I share what I can.

So I share a lot of smiles…

Mom comes up with a lot of old sayings.  A few that come to mind is her comment about any fellow talking overly much…”his talking is about as good as a fart in a lamp…”…”you’re got to watch the front ‘n the back of ‘em…” and oh, there’s several more…

Below is the 2002 dedication of Mom’s old school house.  Her mother went to this school in 1896; Mom attended in 1916; her son attended this school house in the late 40’s.  In 1992, they moved the school house from it’s location out in the country, and Mom was interviewed at that time [front page] with a photo of the house being transported down the country lanes.  She was the only surviving teacher.  By 2002, it was ready for a dedication out at the Flywheels Museum.

She is flanked by her son Carroll, and Kansas Representative Carol Beggs.  The “teacher” is a former student and re-enactor; and what items you see on the wall, etc., are some of the things that Mom has donated over time, photos, playbills of students’ shows, the clock, etc.  Mom has also donated several of her original teacher’s books and other articles.



They are still working on the school house, but yes, there’s even the old pump from which the kids got their water, and an old school bell.  Mom would arrive at 7:00 a.m. in her Model T to get the wood/coal burning stove going, and she recalls often her distaste of going down into the cellar “where the snakes held up over winter”.

She’s been instrumental in telling [when asked] what should go where, as she is the only person left who can tell them which side of the school the outhouse should be placed, and where the ball games were played, and at what spot the grass should be dirt, “because the girls liked to jump rope.”



The ladies flanking Mom were, yes, her former students…

Two years later, again at the Flywheels Museum, but in their meeting room, we held Mom’s 95th birthday party.  Being November, we were pretty fortunate that the weather was mild, and the turn-out was great, with over 100 people showing up – mostly sons and daughters of the folks Mom once taught, with their kids in tow.  Nothing like showing off a face that can still throw a smile…



It has only been the past six months that Mom has acquiesced to using a walker to get to and from her weekly hair appointments.  Yes, we have a wheelchair for her to get around in, but she insists that’s for “later”.

She is one fortunate woman to still be able to live in her own house.  I would guess that she has “company” at least five times a week.  We don’t count, we’re family, but over at her place every day.  With a smile like hers, who would want to stay away?

serenity blaze
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583 posted 2004-08-22 08:42 AM


Tell your mother I said she has exceptionally beautiful skin. (It's easy to see where you get your grace from Kari!)

Thanks for sharing her with us. I think we write best when we write about the best parts of us, and yes, that's the love of our family and friends.

(and I'm gonna try "sleep" again, but I swear, the neighbors have a rooster!)



At least we're moving. But then? Mike's a rooster too. With a HARLEY.

Sheesh.





Thanks again, Sunshine!

serenity blaze
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584 posted 2004-08-22 10:39 AM




"sigh"

Janet Marie
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585 posted 2004-08-22 10:41 AM


KA....
As always we are in sync...
Im up to me eyeballs in bubble wrap and boxes...digging thru things...what to keep what to move to the new house--what to throw away... and then there is those 3 boxes of vinyl that I have lugged the last 2 moves... most have been replaced on CD but how can I get rid of all my Jackson???

Anyway... so I dig out a few randomly and while packing listen to the oldies....
one song really got to me...then I take a break and come in here and read your two overnight posts about "why" ...
As you already know...I too need things to make sense, to have reason...and ask why...


and how many times have I typed to you (while I was talking aloud to myself)
"why ask why" ... moth creedo baby....


*sigh*....

anyway...If I get started here on all that your 2 posts opened up...I'll be loaded on that moving truck in this chair.

But what I want to say to you is you MAKE MORE SENSE than you ever give yourself credit for... and its these posts where you are "talking aloud to yourself that you almost always answer your own questions with your lovely honesty and self exploration...and I gotta tell ya--your "quick sand" metaphor is damned brilliant...

and yep...our wise and gentle poet Capt is so right...all too often we are looking for answers when there isnt really questions...

Sometimes things just are.......

When I used to get overwhelmed with the WHYS...needing REASON...Vante used to tell me...

"whys are full of things that can not be undone...if we spend too much time on the whys, we lose focus on finding solutions of how to move beyond them ...

whys are the past...

why not is the the real question...
those answers will be what takes us forward."

(butterfly wisdom)

"whys are full of things that can not be undone

amazing......*sigh*

And... so now I come back to the song that linked all this in my small mothy mind..
(there really is reason to my rambling) lol

" We have old friends, some are memories...
Somtimes they tap us on the shoulder, taking us to the places that we miss and remember with a smile ...

We go where there is love whenever we are lonely...and when going back we find, enough love stayed behind to make us feel at home....


"Where There Is Love"
Jane Oliver
from "Stay the Night"


serenity blaze
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586 posted 2004-08-22 01:01 PM


Jan? Keep the vinyls.

They are old friends.

I am soooooooooo happy for you, and rather tickled with myself too.

Y'see? I just realized I've got some great friends.

Happy Home!

muted
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587 posted 2004-08-22 01:11 PM


*sometimes you ladies make toooo much sense*
and im left to nodding
breathing deep
*sighing*
and admitting to
just how much ive yet to learn.

and, then, i realize
we are connected
because you walked the path before me
but left enough space
for me to stumble too along the way

i admire you all here in this journal
strength
means failing
admiting your faults
discovering how to overcome them
sharing this with us
and
having the patience to watch us fall
and being there to pick us up again.

amazing
each of you
*sigh*

ok, i go back to being muted agian.



Martie
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588 posted 2004-08-22 02:09 PM


Karilea

Thank you for sharing your mother-in-love photos. She has the most beautiful face....you can see right into her blessed spirit through those eyes!

Mysteria
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589 posted 2004-08-22 02:47 PM


Karen, I sent you a book, check your email
Mysteria
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590 posted 2004-08-22 07:52 PM


  Well ... Serenity asked me to do this, blame her okay         I warn you this post is really LONG, and you won’t hurt my feelings by skipping over it trust me.

I sent this off to Karen and Janet Marie earlier today in email.  She asked me to post this as she felt it might be of some help to others who pop in here.  Well, I sure hope it is, if even in some small way.   I tend to bounce around a bit but have no time to edit it.  Well here goes…


“Dearest Karen,

A wise moth we both know once told me to go and read what I had just written in the forum because I had just answered my own question.  Maybe try to re-read what you wrote today and something may come to light for you too?  Actually I don't want her to take on any guilt here LOL, but since she said that to me I haven't been able to write much at all.  I am so blocked, because she was right you see, and now I am spending a lot of time thinking about that statement she made, and simply enjoying life and my surroundings in a new and brighter light.  She was right; the answer was always inside of me.  

Ron T is so right too, at least in regards to my life and me anyway.  I quite often make myself so busy trying to find the answers to questions that never even existed.  I know finally it was only a defense mechanism I had used among others to avoid whatever trigger sent me to a painful memory of my past and created a much-needed diversion.  See, keeping oneself busy takes our minds of the real issues, and most assuredly the painful ones, until next time.  Incidentally, writing it seems is a fabulous tool for the depressed, look at what writers suffered from depression sometime.

I remember being hurt by a remark Ron C once said to me, and it went something like this, that I tried to find solutions to problems that were not there to begin with.  He was of course right as usual.  It was part and parcel of that mental state I lived in that served me at that time.

As Karen and a few other close friends in here know I do not work anymore, and actually I have been receiving a nice disability cheque, and ingesting many prescribed medications over the course of about 12 years off and on, give or take.  The medications started when I almost died one day at a work while with employees on an outing.  They had to rush me to the nearest hospital, with what they thought was an aneurysm.  I refer to that the first time I  “shut-down”, and I actually quit talking, (quit chuckling you!).  Well, they attributed my silence to post traumatic stress syndrome, as I had been working long, hard hours, and had just lost my boss of over 14 years to a wicked cancer, and had not even had time to grieve that.  He was a dear friend only, although many thought different, and I confided and trusted him.  This incidentally was the only man in my life I ever trusted and still is, sorry.  I was his "day wife" as I did everything including sending the maid the list of what he would wear the next day, and organized his entire schedule for days and nights in close contact his wife, all his organizations, etc.  I managed all his personal investments, and he and I were the only ones really knew where his money was all hidden in total.  When he died, I had lawyers, family, companies, you name it pulling me this way that that for a listing of assets, and I got furious.  I wanted them to think of him, and not the business.  The anger was stuffed and life went on.  So, when he died I felt totally alone, and when I wound up the estate, it hit me.  I had no one to work for, no worth at all, and I was without purpose.  I am jumping around but that is how the accident started, but was not the cause I know now.  The hospital and doctors gave me some pills, made me rest to get the swelling to go down in my head, after the surgery, and sent me on my way home in 1 month’s time.  It turned out that particular death was just the icing on a huge cake I had stored in my mental freezer for years and years.  I am not about to go into its ingredients but I want to tell you about the defrosting process if I may?  

I was fortunate my entire life to have had some fabulous jobs, and a brilliant career not once but twice, and now here I was in a real state of affairs.  I had to quit a 6-figure job, and was reduced to a disability pension through work while they tried to get me over "the hump" as they called it. Some might think I was lucky I never ended up in any psychiatric ward, but in hindsight the process of defrosting my frozen cake could have been a lot faster, like sticking in a pot of boiling water, if they had put me there right off you know and thrown away the key for a while.  

Anyway, this started a journey of research by the medical profession of “chemical cocktails,” to cure me.  The insurance people and doctors kept trying to get the right ingredients to “fix” me, and get me back to work.  They found what they thought worked and sent me on my way finally a year or so later.

Well, I went back to work all right and to the same job title to find a different boss.  My old boss's wife!  Did I mention she was hooked on cocaine?  I felt I had no choice, I signed off with the insurance company so there I was in hell.  I literally ran that company for her that her husband and my previous boss and friend had put his heart and soul into, so it could at least stay afloat until it closed down with some dignity.  If he were alive he would have wanted the original investors, who were his friends, to at least see their investment returned before it went up her nose.  I covered her butt for at least 12 hours a day, literally becoming her for over a year and a half.  She would call in the middle of the night with a new hair-brained idea and wake me up to dictate it, so I went to work lots of times on no rest.  I prepared all her schedules, flight plans, did her work, wrote her speeches, that sort of thing while she played, and of course I was chosen to travel all over the place to watch her butt closely.  It was downright painful, bordering on anxiety attacks to watch her get through customs every time we went over the border I tell you.  The Board of Directors paid me extra for this travel, wasn’t that nice?  They also paid me a little extra for doing one more random thing for them as well, which I am now aware was legally way over the line of employer/employee relationships which they and I discussed at a future date.

Well one day, as per the usual random phone, I called to her to come for her random drug test, which she always cheated on, and the verbal abuse got out of hand as it always did.  I guess something in that cake defrosted, because I snapped yet again. To this very day, the only thing about that day I remember is going by the receptionist and saying, “I am going home and won’t be back.”  I vaguely remember her laughing and saying, “I don’t blame you!  Do you mean today or ever?”  I kept walking and I never went back.  I went home and did not come out of my own door for days  (not sure how many), nor did I answer the phone, or open the door.  Finally someone drove over and reached a family member, and said I was MIA from work.  I was told they called the Fire Department to get in (nice show for the neighbours) you betca.  I was taken to the local hospital, and I started the process of defrosting that cake I spoke about way back in paragraph one.  Told you this was a book; don’t say I did not warn you.  I co-operated this time, took the “crutch” temporarily and listened, and finally someone got through to me.  It was not the job, the wife, the situation, the time of day even, it was all about feelings, and I had none.  Somewhere along the line I discovered mine didn’t matter, so I stuffed them so deep inside they were nowhere to be found.  

Well, this is now a long time since that cake was defrosted, through getting proper help and treatment, which is the ONLY way.  As I said, I won’t go into the ingredients of what made my particular cake, as it doesn’t really matter what caused it anyway.  What do matter are the feelings about it.  However, there are a few things I do have to say about the process.  If you have shut away your feelings and memories your whole life for safety, don’t!  One day your secrets, false shame, rage, or guilt will come up and bite you in the ass so hard you won’t know what hit you.  It took mine over 40 years to catch up with me, and I fell big time when it did.  I thought my secrets were safely tucked away, and they were not.  They surfaced in everyday life in words, moments in time, visuals, or things I felt that reminded me of other times, and places, (they call these triggers.)  When they would surface, I would stuff them back down by either changing the subject (that is if I remembered what we were talking about,), getting busy, or head off to do anything wonderful so someone would notice how good I was at it.  It was like living on a double-edged sword every day of my life trust me.  In fact, those memories dominated my every move; making me an over-achiever in everything I did, an over-thinker, over-everything.  Whatever it took to take my mind away from the past I did, and no one likes someone who is always better than they are, so I kept people away really easily.

I owe my transition to you actually Karen, because it was about only two years ago you were open and honest with me about yourself.   I took from your experience, although way different than mine, here were two people so much alike in feelings.  I realized then through your honesty, that over the course of my lifetime how much time I had wasted being the victim instead of the victor.  So far, the only person I was fooling was myself, because at the end of the day, who do you have to answer to?  It was when I decided to get serious with those doctors that the healing started.  It took a special one from the University to break me, and I will be forever in his debt for putting up with one strong-willed woman.  I finally was diagnosed properly, got on the right medications, and finally can say that today I am better and darn near normal, whatever that is?  

Some obvious changes are that I can now “visit” the past and know it is the past, look forward to what future I have left, and certainly try to live in the present the best I know how.  I don't put expectations on anybody anymore and keep the ones on me more real.  I find doing that the disappointments are less too for them and for me.  I never really did judge anyone as to race, creed, etc, so that worked out the same.  I am quite thankful for some of the positive things I acquired along the way of being obsessive compulsive actually and kept them.  However, I don’t try so hard any more to please the masses, and even am slower.  The perfectionist is gone in me too, good thing because the new me is damn lazy sometimes and leaving dishes I found didn’t kill me after all.

(INSERTED)As Karen has so metaphorically stated as only she can do, I now spread my body weight out to friends for the very first time in my life to throw me a stick if I need it, and sometimes I do ask, and I found they are there to catch me too.  (A special wink to “Jeans” if she happens to read this.)  Those newly acquired friends include people I met right here in Passions.  You are very real to me.  I think I really only had one girlfriend in my entire life and she died, as you know, and the other friend was, my boss.  

There was always a great safety in letting no one close to me and now I have enough confidence in me to drop my safety net.  Some people from Passions have visited me, and I have visited them, so I think that reaching out is the answer to getting out of any quicksand Karen.  The actual day we learn to look inside for the answers instead of finding them outside, we will begin to heal.  Through that we discover we knew the answer all along.

I want you, and anyone that reads this to know that I would not advise doing what I have just done without a doctor’s guidance, but I finally got off of all my medications and am now trying to deal with my quicksand as it shows up.  At the time I needed help, and am now grateful I took it, for some it is permanent and for others temporary but leave the guessing to professionals.  

So thanks to you sweetie, I now am able to reach out from watching your example.  Don’t ever sell yourself short to me, as you are as I told you – my ultimate hero.  

Love Always,
The Canuck - Sharon
x o




Imagination is more important than knowledge...
Albert Einstein


[This message has been edited by Mysteria (08-22-2004 10:59 PM).]

serenity blaze
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591 posted 2004-08-22 08:25 PM


thank you

I know that you labored over the "rightness" of posting this and it's right, shar, it's right.

Here:

"I am going home and won’t be back.”

That is exactly what a moment of lucidity says to the soul.



That is exactly the rhythm of echo of heartbeat that drives us.

Love YOU, canuck.

You have been my hero for quite awhile and maybe, just maybe, we recognized that "like" quality in each other.

I want what you have...

the peace at night of knowing you spend each moment of the day true to being you.




Mysteria
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592 posted 2004-08-22 08:29 PM


So I opened a page, not the book.  "Finding Sharon" is going to the big blockbuster movie one day, right after we finish that sitcom with the devine one.  One thing I did learn through this process was - If my insides are talking, I listen!  If a man tells me who he is, I listen to that too now, and if someone jumps in front of me in a check-out line, they must be in an awful damn hurry.  I also learned I can do without a lot of sleep too, enough time for that when I am dead!

Luv ya.

Sunshine
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593 posted 2004-08-22 08:33 PM


I'm not quite sure what to say, Sharon, other than you wear your tiara very well...and you deserver it, too.  You're a very special person, and this indepth sharing will probably do most of us more good than you will ever imagine.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Sunshine
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594 posted 2004-08-22 08:44 PM


Send me the tickets to Finding Sharon...I want front row seats.  
Martie
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595 posted 2004-08-22 09:14 PM


Sharon?     
iliana
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596 posted 2004-08-23 01:57 AM


Sharon (and all) -- I came back to catch up a little and low and behold....what do I read....an exploding cake.  Sharon, I can't tell you how much your post meant to me, and I know Karilea can identify with what I'm going to tell you.  In 1984, I "ran" to Houston, TX, after the end of a marriage I still have some trouble talking about; I'll say that it was...mentally abusive, at the least.  I was living with my mother and without going too much into family details, felt very alienated to everyone and everybody.  My brother and sister-in-law being catholic and not believing in divorce, just one example.  Anyway, I basically lost my life with that divorce, except for my little girl.  When I had a job offer to work for an attorney in Houston which paid double what I was making in the law firm in Ohio, I jumped at the chance.  A chance to get a life again.  I packed my little girl along with as many toys, clothes, cooking utensils, bedding, records, books....as much as I could get into our little Escort and took off to Houston.  I started work the Monday after I arrived (on a Friday) because my boss couldn't wait (and because I needed the income immediately, too).  I should have recognized at that very moment how aggressive and domineering my boss was.... I mean, I really should have asked for a couple more days to make sure I got my daughter into a good daycare and checked out my neighborhood a little more carefully.

Sharon, like you, I had a boss I was absolutely devoted to....for the first five years I worked for him (even though he was abusive and harsh at times which I just attributed to being a lawyer), and yes I did his laundry, cleaned his apartment when he had a heavy date, baby sat his illegitimate son when the mother came for a visit to work out financial details, etc., etc., etc.  A day wife, yes, exactly.  He was generous with gifts, lunches, and smiles when he needed to use them....and I did just fine for that first five years.  I had gotten myself back on my feet.  My relationship with my daughter was good...she was well adjusted despite my working 7 days a week (many times taking her to the office with me in the evening and weekends -- I've often told her that she was raised on the floor of that law firm).  Five years, yes, I get off track, too.  Five years, things were okay; then, my boss' drinking problems got worse.  Much worse.  His personality became one of Jekyll & Hyde.  This I recognized right away (because of my ex-husband) and it didn't take me long to find out the truth....yes, cocaine!  To make a long story short, he had a fit when I remarried and his habit got worse and worse.  I covered for more and more, and took more and more abuse.  For some strange reason I felt I owed him...'cuz he had "saved" me from the horrible existence in Ohio.  When I remarried and began to have a life again, my eyes started opening.  So when my husband was offered a transfer to Indonesia, we took it.  Three years later when we returned to Houston...I called to ask for a letter of referral.  He said he would not give me one nor would he give me a reference, but he would give me a job paying my leaving salary plus $20K more a year if I would come back to work for him.  Trapped and desparate because my husband was jobless at the time, I agreed.  By this time, all my old work mates hated my guts...my work family was no longer my family...I was being back stabbed at every turn.  So, I asked him to transfer me to a couple of young associate attorneys ... anybody but X & Y.  He, of course, transferred me to X & Y.  Six months later after constant overtime and attempting to tame their impossble egos and watching one of these two demonstrate on a daily basis in front of my desk, while giving me instructions, the perfect commercial for the real need of a jock itch powder....I was fed up.  I kept asking my husband if I could please quit.  Of course, his answer was we can't afford it.  He did not want me to work for anyone else and to this day I think I resent that.  So I lasted another six months.  But one weekend, when the one with the jock itch problem called me at home Sunday afternoon, and asked if I could come in after missing the past Friday due to flu, I erupted.  Yep the cake exploded with no warning whatsoever.  I told him I would not come in that day or ever again.  Just like you, Sharon.  I did not even consult my husband.  I just did it.  I unplugged the phone for three weeks and sat and stewed.  It took me a full six months to pull myself together enough to go find something else.  And it took much experimenting until I settled in for any long term stays.  It was not until I worked for the last attorney I will ever work for... that I began to realize what abuse does to people.  I had been really injured and didn't even realize it until several years after.  It was this last boss who helped me figure it out and, of course, I love him for it.  He helped me enough emotionally that I was able to go on to a career in legal journalism and now own my own small business.....so NO MORE BOSSES!!! See, Sharon.....how much I can identify with what you wrote. Thank you for sharing it here...I love you for it.   ...jo

Thanks, Karen, for just being you.  And that goes for all you other folks, too.  

[This message has been edited by iliana (08-23-2004 03:04 AM).]

iliana
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597 posted 2004-08-23 02:10 AM


Karilea, you sure have a special mother-in-law.  What a rich history!

GG -- Hiya sweetheart....hope you're doing well tonight.  

Karen, I know what you mean about the whys.  

Mothy lady (may I call you that?), I really appreciated your post.  

iliana
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598 posted 2004-08-23 02:14 AM


Hi, Martie....*hugs* your way.  Isn't this a wonderful place.  It makes me feel like I'm not alone.

Hey, Chris...you out there?

serenity blaze
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599 posted 2004-08-23 02:24 AM


grin...this could be dangerous.

You ladies are starting to inspire....

(raising my hand timidly)

"y'think maybe me...??"



Damn ya'll are good.

YEAH.

Maybe ME!

iliana
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600 posted 2004-08-23 02:59 AM


Serenity, Yep, it's your turn, sweetie....I mean, after all....    Up late tonight, huh?  Bet you have something to say.  I'm all ears and eyes (and that looks pretty weird, by the way).  


serenity blaze
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601 posted 2004-08-23 03:05 AM


And I wish I had pictures.

Damn.

My brother actualy drove one of those VW's with the "drop-down" hammock. He had travel stickers from Mexico nearly blocking his view, and he looked very much like I always imagined John the Baptist.



I told him later, "SMOOOOOTH..."

"Y'thought you had the long arm of John Law crippled as you sped by?"

*  *  *

For a long time, it seemed he did. I understand now through experience that there is no such thing as a long run of "luck."

I can measure it as sure as a boy in a western--foot by foot ladeling, I now have a fair ability to know when how much rope is enough to hang yerself.

Sometimes for fun they even have you knot the noose.

Sometimes (I heard) they compared notes of neck and brushburns.


Other times?

They didn't bother.

"things happen to a man's head in prison..."

yeah.

sometimes?

It stays, attached to his neck, tormenting him for a longer sentence.

*  *  *

Sometimes it happens that way.

iliana
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602 posted 2004-08-23 03:17 AM


"I now have a fair ability to know when how much rope is enough to hang yerself."

Serenity....you leave me pondering a lot of things.  Those letters from your brother, wow.  This must have freshened up a lot of grief.  Makes me wonder about my ex-husband some....he ran out of luck about four years after our divorce and wound up in prison in Florida.  When he was released, he went to a halfway-type house and there, his roommate's neck was slit.  That was the last conversation we had until my daughter's graduation from college (which, by the way, he did not contribute to nor did he ever pay any child support).  Sorry to get off track again.  It's just there are things I wonder about and actually your experience with your brother shared here has made me wonder....why.  I can feel how close the two of you must have been.  I think to lose a sibling must be so very hard, and your dad, too, all in the same year.  I can't believe the way you stay as centered as you do.  Tell me how you do it?

Came back to pass on a goodnight hug....I'm getting kinda sleepy.....night night.  

Janet Marie
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603 posted 2004-08-23 09:34 AM


morning girlies....

Sharon...I am so glad you shared your letter here...and yes...as said before..you wear your Tiara well...with class and grace...with dignity and humility.
I know its never easy to open ourselves up in this way... As KA says..."walking nekid" in the forums...
but as you can see already by iliana's heartfelt response... we can all learn, heal, and grow from one another. Sometimes its just enough to know someone else understands where we have been...and where we have yet to go.

The walls of this room have been painted a lovely shade of honesty... heart on sleeve blue...each time we share, we hang a self portrait on these walls and make it feel more like home.





Susan Caldwell
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604 posted 2004-08-23 10:54 AM


I am still reading my beautiful friends.

Sometimes I run naked
Through the world
I dare you to judge me
For you know not what I have bled
Nor the clothes I have shed

For those of you that may turn your nose up
As I run bouncing by
See my smile
And ask yourself why

Maybe I learned
Through the hard times
And the tears
How to let go
And when to face my fears

Maybe I know the difference
Between want and need
Maybe I learned to walk away
And when to create a new creed

So laugh not at my nakedness
Nor question my vanity
For I am finally comfortable
With my own sanity

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

iliana
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605 posted 2004-08-23 12:13 PM


Susan, that is a wonderful poem.  
Mysteria
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606 posted 2004-08-23 01:19 PM


I got a great idea, we can call your next section of your diary ~
Serenity And Friends Visit Ron's Rubber Room Laugh, it was funny!  But on a serious note, who would have thought people from all walks of life, everywhere would open up and find out they had so much in common?

Serenity:   I just wish I was there.   Karen, you are the pictures by the way, you don't ever need them, see?

Sunshine:  Lady, you wear a mean tiara yourself.  Your mother-in-love is one lucky woman to have you around, and I think you also have been blessed with having her.  She looks incredible for her age by the way, LOL, what cream does she use?  Do they sell it on ebay?  Too many questions, right I know. Teaching is the best job in the world if you can do it, and do it well.  Congratulations to her, looks like she did.
  
Iliana: "I felt I owed him...'cuz he had "saved" me from the horrible existence in Ohio."

Bingo!  That is why I returned to my job the second time, I felt I owed it to my friend and boss.  Do you think the staff was glad to see me either?  Guess again, and it was a very lonely existance being chained there, with no escape, so I truly do understand.  

As soon as we realize with love there are no expectations, debts or obligations, then we are a step further to finding it.  

Nowadays, just existing has become the goal of my day.  To see and do all I can that makes me, and others around me feel good  is a full time job for me now.

By the way, I still am not opening my cake box too far but I figure I did okay putting a bit out there as of today's readings.  So part of my history in summary (or the commercial version as shrinks like to call this,) I was married to three abusive husbands, one I swear they wrote a movie about to this very day.  I had more abuse growing up than those doctors, or you would surly care to listen too, but always in it, there I saw that flicker of hope that eventually I would get free, so ...

Susan:  "For those of you that may turn your nose up
As I run bouncing by
See my smile
And ask yourself why

For I am finally comfortable
With my own sanity"


You have no idea how you nailed freedom down in those few lines.  The process to it for some is a long, and teadous road, but eventually it is sure worth the struggle to get there.

When it comes, it actually scares you.  If you have never had it, it is overwhelming at first.  It can't be real, you don't deserve it, and all that comes with it.  When you finally realize that you can indeed do whatever you want, whenever you want, in any way you want, it truly calls for a dance in the street!  I do this often, in lanes, and a lot of the time in the rain, (ask Nan about my dance in downtown Cape Cod one day.) I think I shocked her a tiny bit, and certainly the locals for sure.       Am I a bit eccentric, you bet - I earned it.

Karen and I spoke yesterday about being locked up metaphorically, and also physically, and once you get free from those binds, nature takes hold of you and you simply rejoice, yes, just rejoice.

By the way, brother do I have lawyer stories!  What some of us have in common already is that we seem to have gravitated to working for lawyers, hmmm, wonder what that means?  I worked for several lawyers as well in my working career.  As a matter of fact, I probably changed jobs at least once, and often twice a year when I was younger.  It was not until I got married to controllers that I was forced to stay put in jobs that kept me at one for longer periods of time.  Now there's just one more thing to armchair analyze someday I suppose, or like the rest of the "junk", I might just let it go. Yeah, just let it go.

Today, it is raining, and I am going to go out and dance my joy. Try it sometime, and quit worrying about what people will think.  They will eventually get it, and do it too.

Have a good one everyone.  Remember, butterflies are meant to be free, right Jan?

Karen, if you don't get that book going I am literally coming down there and thumping you!  You know I will              

serenity blaze
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607 posted 2004-08-23 03:41 PM


Here, let me try that:

Kari? We are so much alike and so very different. It's amazing. With all the abuse I've taken over the years, all that man has to do is cry, and I can't walk away. *shaking my head* I sure wish he'd find someone to replace me. Anybody know a woman who likes to collect autographs, memorabilia and dust?

Jo-jo? grinning, thank you for your comment about being "centered". It was the best laugh I had all day. I sure don't see what you folks see, but I certainly thank you for the compliment. (and btw, are you a school teacher? For some reason I am thinking that you might be.)

Jan-baby? I sure envy you. I wish I were moving right now. And yep, wasn't I supposed to be moving? Don't I hear from the warden every day of my life, "We have to move"?

The kitchen is done and tile is done too. My room isn't done, tho, and neither is the kids' rooms. The wide screen tv is hooked up tho, along with the DVD player and the surround sound.<--major clue as to why nothing's finished.

School started today and I had to hear a diatribe about how inconvenient it is for the hubby to wake up and drive my son to school, too. He told me he's not going to either.

Anybody want to buy tickets for the show tonight? It's gonna be a good one and I suggest you all bet on me. I'm going to end the summer party that began over there when I had surgery. sigh. The dopeheads will be scattering like roaches.

Mysteria? Oh I wish you were here. Something tells me you'd be enjoying this day immensely! *wink*

oh yes, Serenity MAH ASS!

ta ta for now good poets, I'll check in later, I'm off to pick a fight.

I can take a lot of crap in this marriage, but NOBODY messes with my kids. Not even their father.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....




Decaflame
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608 posted 2004-08-23 03:49 PM


'Atta Girl!
iliana
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609 posted 2004-08-23 04:42 PM


Karen -- answer:  no, I'm not a teacher....I studied music and thought I would go into ed at one point but got fed up with public schools....ask my little sis, she's had it rough!  And my big sis is a retired principal.... so it does run in the family, but nope, the only thing I ever taught was private flute and piano lessons for a short time, oh, and I did get hired in Indonesia to teach English to Indonesian business men because I could speak the language ... but that was short lived!  lol ... a story in and of itself!  No, my career (after trying working for a university in admin, big steel company, bunch of other types of secretarial and admin type jobs) ended up in the field of law... it was the most challenging of all things and offered the best money....and I have an unnatural knack at it.  But since I was a pee-on rather than an attorney, I took alot of abuse, as most legal assistants do...except for my last job.  I left that to work for a national legal publication for five years and then had an opportunity to buy my own company, doing the same thing I did for the national publication basically.  So I'm my own boss...how about that!  There are only four publications like mine in the state of Texas...check it out... http://www.ettrialreports.com  Anyway, that's what I do.  

Now, as to you being centered.  Well, you do seem that way, but I'm glad I made you laugh!  I feel the same way where my kids are concerned.  The only major fights my husband and I have had have involved them...and yes, I can put up with a lot, but not that.  When it comes to them, we are mama bears protecting our cubs, huh?!  Catch you later.   .....jo

nakdthoughts
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610 posted 2004-08-23 09:23 PM


I am overwhelmed by all I have just read...


M

Mysteria
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611 posted 2004-08-23 10:22 PM


Serenity, doesn't it just go figure all the media equipment is all set up first thing?  Grrrr

Oh, did I mention I don't take ANY crap anymore ladies, none, nada, squat!

Okay, I have my so don't worry I am around later.  You just show him my flag is waving to prove that the "Big D", as he so endearing calls me, is indeed watching, and that will scare the bejillies even out of that warden.

Maureen, I am also overwhelmed - takes a while to digest that even if the story is yours it is hard to read in front of you, sort of a reality shock.

iliana
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612 posted 2004-08-23 10:40 PM


Hi, Sharon. Hi, M-lady.  I'm in and out of here tonight tonight....waiting for the show and sending moral support to Karen, too. I think he is outnumbered now!

Sharon, I just got your email.  Not a problem....done deal.  

serenity blaze
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613 posted 2004-08-24 03:22 PM


Hi!

Well, I now have a wall of bookcases--wasn't that quick? LMAO...the second wallcasing is promised for tonight, and I'll be off to sand and stain in a bit.

*chuckle*

I wasn't moving without my books.

And it's amazing how quiet it is when I'm over there.

His cellphone rang alot, but nobody actually popped in.

Think I make his buddies nervous?



Thanks ladies! (and watch me make a muscle)

gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Mysteria
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614 posted 2004-08-24 04:24 PM


She learned that from me - see?    Okay so today it is a bookcase, but tomorrow?       Well heck of course you scared them, I bet they never saw a women flex a bigger muscle than they have before? Keeping pumping sista.  I found if that fails, smile, walk over, and sit on them  
iliana
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615 posted 2004-08-24 11:54 PM


Karen,   you just keep your muscles flexed, lady.  Waiting for the varnish to dry......

Sharon....you are too funny, lady!   ....jo

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616 posted 2004-08-25 02:04 AM


Yes sometimes I am too funny for my own good  

Well, I was heading to watch all the decorating shows in my featherbed but came in here to see if Karen was sitting on a park bench in the garden and needed a friend   Just popping in to say goodnight and that I care.

serenity blaze
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617 posted 2004-08-25 05:04 AM


I'm okay! Bookcase number two was built and attorney's numbers written down.

I have only thought my life was ridiculous before...

and ya'll don't mind me, I just have to rest between rounds.

Sunshine
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618 posted 2004-08-25 06:37 AM


LOL...someone call an attorney's office?  
serenity blaze
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619 posted 2004-08-25 08:31 AM


There's so much I long to say and I feel like I can't. And yes, I'm okay, just tired.

Too tired these days to pretend this is fun.

When I was a kid, my Dad taught me what he thought was the proper way to be. He had given me a candy bar, and my friend showed up just as I was unwrapping the treat. I politely offered to split it with her. As things happened, the candy didn't split evenly, and I gave her the smaller half, sensing some disappointment from Dad.

I asked him why and he told me that when sharing, the smaller half always tasted better in his opinion.

I was a sensitive sort of kid, and I took that lesson to heart. I'm afraid it hasn't served me very well. I always believed that somewhere down the road there would be parity.

I am somewhere down the road and there isn't a hint of justice in sight.

I could never lie very well--people with bad memories shouldn't even try, I think. But I'm finding myself on an unlevel playing field, and I'm very much at a disadvantage here in this little piece of mud I call home.

Divorce? Attorneys? You know what I see when I think of that? Neither of us wins anything, and what, the lawyers get a chunk of change to buy wifie a vacation to a spa while they treat their girlfriend to a new bauble. (I hate attorneys.) sigh.

So I figured, "just move, Karen. Draw a line across the house and co-exist until you're done raising your kids."

I told myself, "Get your health back, get some job training, and then it when it's done, you can walk."

I never wanted the man's money. It's not even HIS in my estimation, but his father's.
And honestly, the lust that family showed for money always disgusted me. (His father shocked me once by boasting that he ironed his money--with starch.) That was a big red flag, right there, huh? There are dozens of examples I could give, but I won't bother.

But again, I was taught to be generous when estimating the faults of others. I ignored a lot of stuff. It was easy enough to do, because frankly, my husband was seldom home.

And while he was away, either working, or partying, I had the world of my kids.

I drew lines in the sands around them, circles of protection, and no one, NO ONE ever messed with my kids. And with all the insecurities that I have, that have been amplified and cemented into my psyche over the years, I know this one thing for a fact:

I am a damned good mom.

But I made a vow that preceded even my marriage to their father. As a kid who grew up with no one at home, I was going to make it different for MY children. I succeeded in different, but I am not sure if it's better.

But they are my pride and my joy. They have intelligence, wit, talent, & spirit. And they would be the first to tell you that I did a good job. Smile. They also have a fine sense of self-esteem, and in my son's case?
Well, he's fourteen, smart, and worshipped by his peers. I'm letting him enjoy that. Life will humble him soon enough.

But they are indeed my joy, and if you'll bear with me, I'll share a story that made my heart swell.

Friday night, my son had a friend sleep over. When they do this, I just pretty much keep myself occupied, but always some time during the visit, they'll come to sit with me "just to talk."

Once my son fell asleep during one of their marathon gaming sessions, so his buddy came out to talk to me, dropping onto the chair across from me, beaming,

"Let's have an intelligent conversation!"

"It's two-thirty in the morning son, and you want intelligence?"

"Yeah," he answered. "I can't get that at home." *wince*

So anyhoo, this time they both came to sit with me. I wasn't much in the mood, so I sighed and put down my book, taking off my glasses.

"What?" I asked.

My son seemed embarrassed.

"We want you to teach us how to talk like you."

(Was he serious?)

He was.

His friend added,

"It's like you do some sort of mental Tae Kwon Do! (forgive my spelling on that)You can slaughter an opponent with one sentence!"

I was amused and confused.

"Let me get this straight--you two want me to teach you how to be a bitch?"

*laughing*

"Well, we'll call it something else, but YES."

And here's the words that gave me my thrill:

"We respect you Mom."

It doesn't get any better that, and I sure don't want to lose it either. But I did realize that all of the put-downs I've endured have not made them true. I don't understand what my husband gets out of my unhappiness, but I guess understanding him is not part of the deal. I don't have answers either.

It's quite a quandary you know. This didn't happen all at once. It was a slow disintegration of concessions I allowed. If he didn't like something, I would shrug and say, "well, I can do something else." A gradual shaving off of my own identity, if you will.

But now the boiling point. My kids are passing him in maturity. They are no longer amused by popcorn and "Motel Hell."

They want intelligent conversation.  

My husband thinks I brainwashed them against him.

The only thing that has happened is that my children are growing up, and I can no longer protect them from the shallow reality of him.

Roseanne Barr/Arnold/whatever once wrote:

"There comes a day in a woman's life when she wakes up and asks, 'what about me?' That is an angry day."

So yes, my days are full of anger, illustrated vivid by that damned hot August sun, increasing my claustophobia, and I am so damned tired. And I'm expected to fight the battle of my life, every single day.

My family,  my friends, are disgusted with me for staying. But I realized something about myself this year.

I have some serious issues regarding abandonement, and when that happens, abandoning ANYONE becomes the greatest sin.

It has warped me into a more than questionable loyalty.

And all of these feelings I'm muddling through, there is the fact that he is sick. I have this fear that I will say the uglies on my mind and he will die. And leaving him?

I shake my head.

Just the idea makes me feel like I'd be abandoning a retarded child. As screwed up as I am, in many many ways he's helpless.

But I want to thank everybody for being tolerant of my cycles of despair, as well my rather dishonest tap dances of joy.

Over the years, he managed to limit my world so severely that all the friends I had left were HIS. But one day I plugged in a computer and happened on this site, and the embrace I felt from all of you woke me up to new ideas and newfound hope that I might be something more than the bad news kid he had let me to believe.

He controls a lot of things in my life, but not my thoughts. And he hasn't succeeded in chasing the lot of YOU away.

I can never say thank you enough to all of you, especially to Ron C for giving me a safe place to be.

And now? Today we are either going to buy new beds for the kids, or I'm going to talk to my attorney.

He likes to make all the decisions, I'll leave that one up to him.

Much love to all.

I talk too much.


Sunshine
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620 posted 2004-08-25 09:15 AM


You don't talk too much.

You just happen to mention many others' lives that you decide to explore, mirroring their own.

I was about to copy a paragraph or two...

I found out that you were writing some very indepth parts of me.

Look around you.

It's YOUR garden.

And look at how your garden grows.

My father once said, "don't wish your life away."  But he didn't say nothing about making good PLANS.

And those PLANS usually stem from "intelligent conversations".

You ARE a marvel.

I'm glad I'm in YOUR circle.  

Toerag
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621 posted 2004-08-25 09:38 AM


Serenity....you just seem to be the type person that could really make life tough for this slob if ya wanted....Now then, if ya do buy new beds, and, he in fact has to pay for them....I'd insist on those $1800.00 temper-pedics......for health reasons and proper posture and to stick it to him as much as possible....Oh, by the way....I know some "magicians" that can make him disappear?.....Any insurance involved?...LOL
serenity blaze
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622 posted 2004-08-25 09:48 AM


Toe, I just wish I were in Texas.

Isn't there a law there with a clause?

"The Sum'bitch needed killin'."

grin.

That's what I heard anyway.

But trust me, he's working on doing that himself. Even his mother told me "be patient..."

And that's his MOTHER!

geeeeeeeeeeeez

I go do my homeschool thing now.

I'll be around...and round...and round...



love ya both!

Toerag
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since 1999-07-29
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Ala bam a
623 posted 2004-08-25 10:14 AM


Der be a boy down outside a Morgan City day call Poo Poo Boudreaux dat no sumpin 'bout gator feedin'?...He say he even go git dem kids dat a spouse took off wit...he go get dem back foe a few hundrit dolla if you have legalsystem custoedie...a thousand if ya don't...I ain't talk to da boy in three or two year but he still der I do know..
Cpat Hair
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624 posted 2004-08-25 12:45 PM


(chuckling).. Gators..well.. someone has to feed them something..

Ser... just dropped in to let ya know..


Midnitesun
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625 posted 2004-08-25 01:05 PM


LOL 'bout the gator feeding. In Alaska, I heard there are a few bear pits out in the boonies. Same kind of dinners served on occasion, with nothing much left that anyone can identify/verify without DNA testing.
Ser, just want you to know, I've spent the better part of an hour catching up on this thread. Now, just wanting to give a hug and say what you already know...you aren't alone, and never will be in this family.

Mysteria
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626 posted 2004-08-25 01:22 PM




I will get back to you, but I have one thing to say ~ I am so proud of you, and you are SO my hero. Okay so it was two things, but one day we will have a sit-down, girly, intelligent conversation too, and you can teach me to be smarter too okay?

By the way, as I told you before abandonment is a real tough issue to deal with, and takes a lot of work to be dealt with.  The residue left after dealing with it is a happier person who will maintain that same kind and sympatric heart that once crippled them.       

Physical abuse always disappears eventually, and sometimes will leave visual scars as reminders, but mental abuse is the absolute worst for the soul.  Those scars get carried inside and can last a lifetime, affecting every single thing you do, and every single person around you.  They hide inside many ways, be it anger, humor, a need for control, fear, and eventually they can be purged with love.

Okay now - group hug

Oh, and while you are out shopping for that orthopedic bed, maybe rent "War Of The Roses," that show put a whole new meaning into drawing the line.  There is also a great song by The Dixie Chicks I am sending you.

Talk to you later.

serenity blaze
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627 posted 2004-08-26 12:27 PM


Just popping in to let ya'll know I'm fine. I went to my mom's today, and she fed me cereal and milk, and I slept on her couch all day, while twist stood guard over me.

And I think that was just what I needed.

In fact, I think I enjoyed the sleep so much I'll try for some more...good stuff, that sleep.

They oughtta bottle it.

thank you all

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

628 posted 2004-08-26 05:42 PM


It will take
what it takes

and in the meantime
I will wait
and hope
it doesn’t take you
losing you

what else can I do?

I, who live in
the glassiest of houses
along side you
and understands that
pain isn’t always poetry,
a joke makes everything better
(at least for a minute)
and leaving rarely
ends a story
as easily as it should

so, I will wait
and hope
that someday
you see yourself
as I do

until then,
take care my friend

Martie
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629 posted 2004-08-26 09:18 PM


Duncan........
serenity blaze
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630 posted 2004-08-26 09:43 PM


yer always making me cry, Dunc.

(It's the good stuff tho.)

and I'll be back. Right now I'm just trying to float.



Sunshine
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631 posted 2004-08-26 10:04 PM


...it doesn’t take you
losing you

what else can I do?

I, who live in
the glassiest of houses
along side you
and understand

~*~

Why is it, dear hearts, that a pup
is the first one
that licks your face,
and always, always!
makes you feel that life is still
worth living?

Dunc?

I hope that some one day?

If you need any of us?

You'll know home when you feel it.

serenity blaze
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632 posted 2004-08-26 11:38 PM


"Venom, Retaliation, and A Promise, Now Fulfilled"


an unserene story of a day in the life


"You're not doing anything"

"No" I said, "I know I'm not."

I looked at him, knowing talk is useless, but still, I tried.

"I think you need to get some help. I think you're losing your mind."

"You're the one who's nuts," he said. "You are just a fat, lazy, smart-ass bitch--nothing but a burden around my neck."

I thought about that, and replied,

"That's probably true to your point of view, right now." I lit another cigarette, knowing that my habit enraged him. "But what I like to think I am is an anchor, and without me, you'd have floated downstream to the falls, already."

I paused.

"I guess, in many ways, you've done the same for me."

(He hates it when I'm calm.)

I pointed that out to him once too. That nothing makes him happier than when I lose my composure. I played dirty pool that day and psychoanalyzed:

"It makes me understand how much you miss your father. The only communication you understand is yelling, and you never feel more loved than when I'm pissed and screaming. It reminds you of home."

Then the threats began.

"I'm filing for divorce."

"Okay."

"I'm turning off the utilities here."

"Okay, but you do know that's just the concrete proof on neglect I'll need?" Tsk.."I think it's a great idea! Another piece of evidence for me in court."

"You can't even afford an attorney."

"With the case you're making? I don't need money. I'll tell all, as I always have and sue you for attorney's fees. As well as alimony, child support, transportation and therapy for me and the kids."

I paused.

"I have physcial evidence, yanno?--so you just unclench that fist before you grant yourself the hospitality of the City tonight."

I leveled eyes him, noting that he was "jazzed" on something.

"How did the appointment go with the doctor?" I asked.

"I go back to work on Monday--and oh, and by the way, 'Soma' does not cause arthritis or gout."

"No," I replied. "It just makes you lose your mind, your family, and your life."

"Bitch!"

I nodded. "I guess so."

"This time, though," I pointed out. "I'm fighting against you, and not for you. Helluva thing you created, huh?"

By that time I'd gathered my son's school paperwork, and with a tape recorder running, I asked the man for the various fees my son would need by tommorrow.

Ya'll know the routine--money for I.D.'s, science lab fee, a book for English that would be provided on payment, and the big fee had to wait until payday--thirty bucks for art supplies, as our son is not only in all honors, but is also in the "gifted" art program in our public schools.

He bent his wallet and told our son,

"Go cut the grass."

"No." My son is fourteen, not deaf, and defiant.

"I'm tired." My son explained.

"You don't think I am?" My husband screamed, looking for a fight elsewhere, when he couldn't find one with me.

"Yeah, well I'm tired of you!" My son was glaring.

They were spacing off the way that men do, and I grabbed the necessary cash and told my husband, "Go to the other house. Do whatever is you do--you don't NEED me there to do it. I am going to cook supper, then clean up. You don't have to do anything but bring your son to school in the morning--YOU registered him out of district, so YOU bring him to school."

"It's such a nice way to start the day too." My son joined in, pure sarcasm. (I guess he learned that from me.) "Dad bitching about what a pain in the ass I am..."

"STOP."

My husband looked around, and with that flip of a switch, he noted the dogs, hopefully wagging their tails as he held the doorknob.

"Maybe I'll take the dogs with me tonight..."

"No!" my kids screamed unison.

Their fear cut through the bravado, and they caught themselves. "Dad? They'll just be in the way while you lay tile..."

He smirked and turned to me and asked,

"What will you do if I pull the rug out from under you?"

I smiled and said, "I'll write about you, George."

Then he slammed the door and left and here it is, my promise to him, fulfilled.


*  *  *


I didn't want to post this, as I realize it shows me ugly. But it is what it is, so take it as it is, a view through the walls of the unglassiest house. That, and a promise, fulfilled.


Mysteria
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633 posted 2004-08-26 11:39 PM


What special people you ALL truly are in this garden, including the owner.  Float away m'lady, and know we are here the best we can be.  I am here there with you.

Duncan - c'mere and get a Canuck squeeze will ya?

serenity blaze
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634 posted 2004-08-27 03:59 AM


Just for the record--I do not intend to plant weeds in my own garden--it just sorta happens sometimes that when the wind blows, seed scatters.

I don't intend to paint one person as "Satan", because what I know, is that the deeds we do, and the words we choose reveal more about ourselves than our subjects.

With that in mind, I'll offer up a witch's definition of Satan, as illustrated by the tarot. A card that is yet again, of the archetypical 22 cards of the Major Arcana.


An illustration and explanation:
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/2282/tarot/15.htm

*  *  *

I am called "the witch."

Sometimes affectionately, most times not.

And yet, I always feel a need to explain, to highlight finer points, by adding, "I am not strictly Wiccan-but solitary eclectic."

And when even that is met with puzzlement I say, with a smile,

"I like my truths convenient, as everybody does. I just berate myself for admitting it."

Bri-baby? I wish you were here to remind me more of our conversation. We talked about choosing reality in terms that I'd never considered before. But you talked of symbolism in life, literature, religion, and ritual, and the adaptation of "Elders" as well as lesser God/desses as tools to SERVE us in times of need, and I was sitting here, on this side of the screen, nodding vigorously and trying not to yell "YES" aloud in the wee hours of the morning.

Smile. You remember that?

I talked of embracing feminitiy when I was pregnant by embracing the female face of God, and learning every beloved courtesy of her name that I could--by all the names of her recognition through various religions and historical belief systems. And we talked of Jesus, whom I term The Christed, and not "THE" Christ. I confided how I loved the analogies of Christianity (and yes, I DO know my analogies) and how surprised people were, both Christian and Wiccan to learn that I love the religion of Christianity, however much I think it misunderstood.

We talked about the crucifixion, and the symbolism of the sacraments of the Catholic Church. I think we both expressed some outrage regarding the secular tendency, the secretiveness of Catholicism, and I told you then, that I thought I understood that it was based upon a good motivation, and backed up in scripture as well as esoteric collections of Jesus (the Christed) with the renowned .... of "Him" saying, (paraphrase) "Would you give meat to babies? Give babies milk, and let them with set teeth have the meat."

Then we began to talk of the nature of "evil" and the possibility of satanic influence in our lives, and lives around us.

I believed then, and believe now, that this quandary is aptly illustrated in the tarot, in the illustration of this "Devil" card, and the interpretation I provided above, of course supports my viewpoint of just who the hell SATAN really is...

Just think about the physical description a moment.

What we have here, illustrated is a man with animalistic characteristics. Horns, a tail, cloven hooves, sometimes fangs.

Understand that you are looking at evolution in stagnation. The archetype is clearly represented as a larger figure looming over apparent representations of the male/female. As noted in the explanation, the male and female "lesser gods" appear to be in servitude, with chains that are wrapped loosely about their necks. The handy explanation is that servitude is an illusion--the chains are but imaginings. Yet, I offer another explanation, and yes, one that tells more about me and my experiences than I should dare impart, that perhaps, chains are donned willingly. Perhaps where there is a lack of will, it's easier to subject the self to a physical life that doesn't agree with the heart. Gloss that over with oils on the leather, and buff the studs on the wristbands shiny, and you have the heart of sado-masochism.
Games you can win, by absence of consent.

But then, I tend to think in terms of symbols. Even when the symbol is clearly represented as differences in entity.

Such as, male and female.

I think that those terms alone have confounded truth in religion since the conception of language. Consider, for a moment, if we would replace that terminology with what I consider to be more accurate representations of the cosmos. Instead of thinking, "masucline" think, "active principle"--and likewise, the female, "receptive." Once you start thinking in that terminology it puts a grand spin on religious representative symbols--the yin-yang, most obviously, The star of David (slightly less obvious) and the cross, which was adulterated and amended through time to have more of a masculine symbol than feminine. (I offer as proof the Celtic cross, which pre-dates the Christian cross, wherein the directions are equally portrayed--while the Christian cross, or SOLAR cross, depicts the vertical masculine line as dominant.)
The Star of David is also representative of the two energies at one with the other. Consider two triangles, interlaced, one pointed upward, represented the masculine, and phallic symbol, interlaced with the downward pointed yoni triangle, with oneness and whole well-being signified by the circle of eternity. So, I guess I have to surmise that I believe God to be an energy a mirror of our deepest recesses, and if you should wish to understand the Holy trinity, one should first examine the atom. Neurons, Protons, electrons...a holy trinity.

"As above, so below."


Oh there's so much more...the beauty of comparative religion is that once you treat it as a jig-saw puzzle, and note the similarities and take account the disparities, it's so much easier to put the big picture together. I like to think of people as pieces of the puzzle, and we can all fit together if we find the right co-relations.

grin...

just keep me away from him.



peace good poets.

Let me know what you believe...

Satan, to my definition, is the freewill choice of an individual to act instinctively in the animalistic tendency of flesh. And yes, it occurred to me that if Hell is a choice, then Heaven is as well.

  

Thanks Bri-baby for the gift of this. I've been coloring!

Aenimal
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the ass-end of space
635 posted 2004-08-27 05:33 AM


http://www.taroscopes.com/highwindowsarticles/the-devil.html
http://www.taroscopes.com/highwindowsarticles/startpage.html

serenity blaze
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636 posted 2004-08-27 05:53 AM


smiling WIDE.

The opening got me into fits:

"He who fights too long against dragons, becomes a dragon himself - Nietzsche"

I think my personal St. George (the dragonslayer) might agree.

It's all MY fault!



But yes, thank you, Raph, all kidding aside, this goes yet deeper.

Hugs and btw? I hope you're feeling better.

You've been missed.

Sunshine
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637 posted 2004-08-27 06:42 AM




More later.

For now?  Keep writing!

serenity blaze
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638 posted 2004-08-27 08:23 AM


Keep writing? okay..here ya go sunshiny one!

*  *  *

He wasn't going to come home.

I don't think he intended to, anyhow.

But I was sitting here, writing, when his truck pulled in the drive, oh, 'round 'bout 2:30 our time?

I stiffened immediately, as I always do. Some kind of pavlonian response by now I suppose. He came in the front door and I could tell by his body language that he was defeated somehow.

"oh you poor [expletive]!" I said. I actually managed to say that without venom.
I knew he'd figured out what I'd been telling him all along.

"You just figured out that you hate the only home you have."

There wasn't much fight in him now.

"Can I use the pc?"

"Sure." I knew the comfort of it myself, and wouldn't deny him his e-bay.

I got up from this chair and granted him access, and went and sat on the couch. No tv, no kids, just the click click of relief as he found his homes here on my pc.

"No porn," I warned. "Those pop-ups make ME look like a perv."

"I should be so lucky," he joked weakly.

"I should be so willing," I shrugged. "I usedta be..."

but something in his manner made me lay down the weapons. I wondered, as I rolled a cigarette, did his girlfriend break up with him?

OH.

I saw him check his mail, and I saw the dejection in his shoulders.

I'll just bet she had.

"What happened baby?"

He tensed up.

"Can you just leave me alone one g'damned minute?"

"Where would you like me to go?"

We were sitting in the only room I could ever call my own.

"Nowhere. Just...to hell with it. Nowhere."

So I left him alone as well as two people who are at war with themselves and each other can leave each other be, alone.

He shopped e-bay without gusto. He won a bid on something and didn't even express the usual triumph. Finally, he asked me,

"What are we doing tomorrow?"

I told him that I would help him, if he'd let me, make that other house a home. But I wanted to go measure the windows for blinds and sheers, and take the sheets that are tacked on the windows down--and that our son still needed a bed.

"A futon" he nodded. "He wanted a futon."

Damn. He even pronounced it right.

"You gonna get some sleep?"

"Are you kidding?" I doubted it. "I slept almost 18 hours. I'm good for another week."

He nodded.

Damn, he looked so sad.

Then he went to bed.

*  *  *

Now ya'll see how I got into this mess to begin with. The first time I brought this man home to my parents I was all of sixteen.

It was Christmas.

I'd gone to his house with him, and the only decoration I could see was one of those ceramic trees that you plug in. The house was dark except for that. The stove was actually dusty. I didn't see a present in sight, and I didn't smell any apple-spice. I asked him, "Where's your mom?"

"She lives with her boyfriend now."

oh.

"Just you and your Dad now, huh?"

He nodded.

This wouldn't do.

"Come on," I told him. "I want you to meet my family."

So I brought him home, another stray.

I saw a look exchanged between my Mom and Dad, that is best described as a silent sigh. But they welcomed him, and his face looked different in the lights of our chaos. Bubbling stove and drinks poured, and kids fighting and hasty last minute wrapping...he looked dazed and yet, content.

I beamed at my Dad and my Dad shook his head.

But he smiled, knowing that I got "it" from him.

and that's what got me into all of this trouble...but I suppose we were raised with the good intent of a generous heart.

My Dad didn't believe in psycho-babble, much less the term "co-dependancy."

*  *  *

Sometime?

Remind me to tell ya'll about how my brother would bring the homeless home on Thanksgiving.

Grin.

We bought the idealism, hook, line, and sinker.

sigh.

My parents learned to cook a LOT of food.


Sunshine
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639 posted 2004-08-27 08:41 AM


I'm good with strays, m'self.

Well, let's just say...I tend to stick up for the underdog, right or wrong.

You know, of course, that until an autopsy is done, no one will really realize how big your heart truly is.

Or how attached it is, to others.

Superhug, sissie.

serenity blaze
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640 posted 2004-08-27 09:04 AM


Naw...

I didn't even like him.

He didn't like me.

I find myself wondering if we haven't stayed wasted for 28 years just so we could tolerate each other.

If we did? It's not working anymore.

He'll get a good night's sleep and pick up the weapons again.

I'll gauge his temperature and take up the appropriate stance.

The problem is, I don't believe--not anymore.

I highly doubt there will be curtains or sheers, or shopping. Not with me. He'll buy the bed, because he's tired of driving my son to school.

But then, maybe it could happen.

Y'see? I bought some leverage.

I pretty much have a carte blanche Rx on vicodin, due to the surgery and my preceding back thang.

So I'll be "baby" again, until the 'scrip runs out, and he gets the greenlight e mail he was looking for...

*  *  *

Now how disgusted am I with me?

Yep.

That much.

serenity's got shtuff on her mind these days.

Smile with me?

I'll go check the eyelids for glimmers of hope...nite folks.

Sunshine
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641 posted 2004-08-27 09:16 AM


Smile with you?
Only if you smile with me.
Check the glimmers.
I'll slave the day
and get back with you soon.

nakdthoughts
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Between the Lines
642 posted 2004-08-27 10:24 AM


You're the one who's nuts," he said. "You are just a fat, lazy, smart-ass bitch--nothing but a burden around my neck."

I thought about that, and replied,

"That's probably true to your point of view, right now." I lit another cigarette, knowing that my habit enraged him. "But what I like to think I am is an anchor, and without me, you'd have floated downstream to the falls, already."

I paused.

"I guess, in many ways, you've done the same for me."

(He hates it when I'm calm.)

I pointed that out to him once too. That nothing makes him happier than when I lose my composure. I played dirty pool that day and psychoanalyzed:

~~~~~~~

I couldn't read any further than that full
posting, Karen...brought back too many
hurts...and although my situation is/was
different with his affair with alcoholism
(punning intended)and the words not quite so
vile ( although he told me everyone in town
thought me a******... bitch just to get me
riled up to fight back so he would have an
excuse to leave and so I would be the one to
initiate a divorce) even the not so vile
words showing his distaste for me and or
what I was or wasn't doing to satisfy him
hurt just as much considering the about face
he did in that last year we were living
together in one house...but the last 4 have
been better although the marriage isn't
there any longer..he in the barn     and me
in the home, still for now..awaiting  that
job...hopefully soon, he has become  nicer
(not like  he once was, but nicer especially
when not drinking..which is seldom) but I
can always shut and lock my doors on him and
he isn't smart enough anymore to know that  
it is still his home and he could be in here
if he insisted... sighing...sometimes I am
glad for his brain cells dieing off...
or maybe it is that he knows I won't throw him
away like he did to me...

Sitting on a bench at Baltimore's Inner
Harbor on Monday, a lay-over pilot began
talking with me and he said it sounded like
a classic case of co-dependency..and I asked
by who and he said both.  I don't like all
that pyscho babble...and if it helps me to
have him somewhere near enough for monetary
support and it helps him to have a place to
live yet have his freedom to do whatever he
wants I guess that is what it is for now.

And I do want to be independent but it isn't
as easy in this job climate as everyone else
seems to think it is...especially if like
you and I, we weren't in the outside workforce
before the problems started.

  Starting over at my age is not easy and
having cared for my sister instead of job hunting
filled a need in my family that I will defend and
never be made to feel sorry or "lazy" for.

hugs...
M

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

643 posted 2004-08-27 11:24 AM


*smiling at you*

Everybody seems to think it's the Lifetime movie of the week.

And nodding at the mutual co-dependancy--the shrink called it dysfunctional symbiosis--it made sense at the time, but then, I was just so grateful to have a man who listened, he could have called it anything, as long as he continued to talk in complete sentences, I was in LOVE.

smile...

luv ya, M.

We'll hang in there?

gawd this is a tough ride these days...


nakdthoughts
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Between the Lines
644 posted 2004-08-27 11:51 AM


Hey,

the bad thing is every now and then I say to myself even he is starting to look good to me again...considering what is out there...

sighing

M

Mysteria
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645 posted 2004-08-27 01:06 PM


Love should never hurt.  Morning.
Sunshine
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646 posted 2004-08-27 01:14 PM


I didn't even like him.

He didn't like me.

~*~

Ah...ditto.

serenity blaze
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Posts 27738

647 posted 2004-08-27 09:49 PM


Just dropping in to say thanks, and yanno? In this case, misery does NOT welcome company. I really wish that this situation was more rare than what you all have confided, both here in the journal and through e mails. Thanks all for holding up the lantern at the top of the hill.

I'm on my way up...and if I'm quiet, it's because we have circled the wagons here, and I'm quietly coloring my tarot deck (cool deal, huh?)

And yes, I'm getting closer to my home...



Now, anybody hear any good jokes lately?

nakdthoughts
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Between the Lines
648 posted 2004-08-27 10:13 PM


A man is dining in a fancy restaurant

and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to start a conversation.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man.

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.

"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap ........ and stay for breakfast.

They have a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings.

The guy is amazed!! Everything has been SO incredible!!!!

"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies........."


Wait for it... (scroll down)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It's coming...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The suspense is killing you, isn't it?
.
.
.
She says:

"You just happened to catch my eye."


****a joke I just read on a friend's site

Alicia
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Posts 279

649 posted 2004-08-28 12:15 PM


~hi.
serenity blaze
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Posts 27738

650 posted 2004-08-28 01:03 AM




thank you Maureen, and HI O Silent Friend!

I'm just in time to say g'nite gracies, sooooooooo...g'nite!



Ya'll are good to me...

"caught my eye" Sheesh. *snort*

iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
651 posted 2004-08-28 01:14 AM


Looks like I just missed you, Serenity.  I'm was just sitting here catching up on all the fresh growth.  My, my....there is so much food for thought in your writing...that link about the devil... that's how I see it pretty much.  You said that you don't believe anymore.  I guess I understand those feelings pretty well.  Yano, I still want to believe that there is a reason for everything.  For me, like you, I equate it all somehow with spiritual growth.  I think back about the most emotional attachments I've had now, and see that those relationships were the ones from which I gained the most wisdom in the end.  Sometimes, I think that we make a pact before we come here to play a certain role in each other's lives to assist in a particular evolution of our souls.?  I just wanted to tell you that I love reading you...even through the difficult times (which, of course, I wish you did not have to go through).  Sending positive vibs....jo

M-lady....the same to you.  Loved your joke, BTW.  

[This message has been edited by iliana (08-28-2004 03:07 AM).]

serenity blaze
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652 posted 2004-08-28 03:31 AM


jo-jo?

And I love it when they're all asleep.

I had a nice night with the kids, and I'm looking forward to that more often now that he is going back to work.

so I exit again, sleepless, but smiling.

He blames all you "internet people" for the changes in me yanno.

And I THANK all you internet people for the changes in me.

(Not really changes tho, just for reminding me of what I used to want for me)


And there's something very soothing about curling up with a bri-bear and coloring like a kid again. Just like cornflakes and milk.

I want to buy some "jacks" now and teach my daughter how to play. (She just might if I don't tell anybody--so shhhhhhhh? k?

Love to all.

smooches g'nite again

Sunshine
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653 posted 2004-08-28 09:06 AM


"He blames all you "internet people" for the changes in me yanno."

What is mine doing at your house, anyway?

~*~

Now, on Balance...


God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.  He inquired of God,

"Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,

"Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said,

"What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth.

"For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things,"

God continued pointing to different countries.

"This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said,

"What's that one?"

"Ah," said God.  "That's Washington State, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, plains, and coulees. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed,

"What about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled,

"There is another Washington...wait until you see the idiots I put there."

Ba-da-boom.

~*~

My husband got a job.  After five years of "retirement", all of his friends, his mother, and when necessary, your very own Moi, have at one time or ten thousand, said, "you need something to DO!"  Sons-in-law, daughters, said friends, have said, "you have too much to offer to not be out SHARING it."  [And it's true, he does!]

There have been a few attempts in the last couple of years [once he figured out that the brain tumor wasn't his way "out-out"] and he apparently fit all of the 'we need to turn you away because,' requirements.  Too old, not old enough, too experienced, too old to gather experience, etc.

We will know, however, the day after Labor Day [ironic] whether or not this new position will be meet his expectations.  It's a part-time job, working with troubled kids in a boy's "home" that is quite well known around the states.  He will transport students to and from appointments; he will work in the admin office doing whatever is required in a clerical sense [puff-stuff] and he will do the school's "shopping".  Now here is where he will excel, simply because, beside Mysteria, he is probably one of the world's great shoppers!  He finds bargains even when they aren't there.  He'll get to shop to his heart's content for their inventory supplies and food, etc., using their vehicles, on their credit card.  He'll probably save them so much money for their necessities they'll either give him a raise or put him on full time.  [I see benefits everywhere!!!]

His military training and counseling time will stand in him good stead in interacting with the boys.

And, best of all - he was hired on in the middle of the interview...



Maybe things will finally lighten up a bit.

If it can happen here, serenity, it can happen ANYWHERE!


Mysteria
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654 posted 2004-08-28 12:51 PM


Now ... Karilea, that is great news for you both actually.  One needs a purpose, and if they have worked for years and then stop abuptly there is no way you can get used to doing nothing fast, and some never.  Boys need a man's influence so badly, and what a wonderful way to contribute to society, working with those that need that.  Sounds to be a great job for him.

However, I could out-shop him anytime trust me, I wear armor with army boots if necessary.  This very morning, I picked up two Hillary Duff tickets that were long ago sold out, no not at double the price, but 1/2 price from someone in another province in Canada.  Not on ebay either, but by reading papers across the country, and trust me my status as the "Best Gramma On Earth" later today is going to warrant a scream that may hopefully deafen me enough that I won't hear all those yelling teenie boppers, and wanna be tennie kids when I take her there to that concert.  The seats are 5 rows from the stage, and I think this is going to impress a 6 year old starting school for the first time, ya think?  She loves Lizzy McGuire as she calls her.       Now, I just need the Ashley Twins to come to town and I will get even a bigger diamond in that tiara of mine.  

Fads!  Okay remember those?  Boy did I buy into those, still do actually but spend less on it than once upon a time.

I loved that joke, loved it - unfortunatley I don't know any I can post in Open    

Nightshade
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just out of reach
655 posted 2004-08-29 12:06 PM


Hello all of my tiara wearing tinkerbelles!!
Just trying to catch up the journal entries since I have been out at the campground enjoying the beauty of nature. You know what? Some of our trees are painting their leaves already!! Fall is on it's way.
  Last evening there was a birthday celebration at said campground and I almost threw my hip out doing the "macarena" with a group of children and teens. LOL. The park will never be the same now that I have taught the baby ducks who come begging at each trailer for food, to stand in a line, shoulder to shoulder (ducks do have shoulders don't they?) and turn their bills left and right as I use pieces of bread like a concert conductor's wand. La la laaaa ..  La la laaaaa......shades of Babe !!
  By the way, has anyone seen my muse? She doesn't like roughing it and refused to come to the campgrounds with us. Fusspot.
  I luv all of you to pieces and will try to keep up with the journal entries as well as all of the wonderful poetry I have missed. But, to-morrow I must return to the campground as it seems I am missing a few "odds and ends" ... hee heeee. Speaking of odds and ends .... is that sister of mine still meditating at the water's edge? Hmmmm....wonder what Enchantress has been up to? Ah well, she too will be home soon. Nighty nite all. Hugs, Chrislane

iliana
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656 posted 2004-08-29 01:37 AM


Hi ya, Chris!  Missed you.  I've been out a lot this week, too, working on a big job.  Thank the Goodness for this job even though it's taking a great deal of time -- the money's good and we needed it.  Soooo, for a few more days, I only be popping in and out occasionally.  Take care and I just bet you went back to rub "shoulders" with the little duckies again....hehehe

Serene One -- hope you are, indeed, that tonight.  Thinking of you.  Night, night.

Sunshine -- great joke!  And, hope it works out for the hubby.  It would make me crazy if mine was around the house every single day!  I must have my space!

serenity blaze
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657 posted 2004-08-29 05:28 AM


Smile...there's my ladies gathering...

I hate August and yet? It is the headiest time of the year for flowers blooming. Just all dripping sweet, seed heavy head flowers bending the stems and getting those bumbles all a-buzz...yet? There's something about it I love too.

It's the moment of insistency before orgasm--all sensitivity and heavy play, and luscious, gorgeous saltiness as the air becomes, as best described--

"hot liquid magma!"

(Insert graphic of Dr. Evil)

I felt that, tonight. In fact, I'm feeling lately like blowing clouds together, creating storms--just because the stagnate bores me.

"Time for a tiara." I thought.

So I prepared a holy resting place for a shrine, and my face became a palette.

I glanced the mirror, all frank and studious, and instinctively I clenched my teeth, until I saw the lines that formed...so I smiled instead.

Not good.

So I broke out the color box, and changed the tones of yellow to peach, adding dots of healthy red, where desire used to be.

I dotted my eyes with sparkles, blue, and boldly, I placed a hot pink star in the middle of my forehead.

I smiled.

I liked the sparkle.

I took my hair down and then I fluffed it up and out. I grinned, wild, and then I thought, perhaps, I might be ready for reality.

Appalled at the thought, I donned my tiara.

Now, I was ready to go.

*  *  *

I was wearing an aqua mumu, with gold filagree and hot pink flowers, with lavendar stripes inconsistent but still somehow adding to the theme.

I also wore barefoot beaded sandals--a delightful mysteria gift--and had I done my toes, ya'll would have pictures.

We stopped at convenience store for beer. There is this place that hoses down 24 oz. RedDogs--and we were there to buy us a bunch.

As were the other people in line outside of the store--transacting their thirst through the supposedly bullet-proof window, exchanging cash and courtesy via a steel drawer.

They looked at me funny as we pulled up and I hopped out, bopping my head to the AC/DC, perfectly coincidenced to "Hell's Bells" as I jangled my Joplin way to the end of the line.

But I took my place at the end of the line happily, not even a bit disconcerted at being the only person in line wearing a mumu and a tiara.

I must say, crackheads in bright lights are sure polite. If I'd been standing in front of me, I woulda asked me a few questions, for sure. But no...they were cool. But then? Maybe they thought they were tripping?

I found myself yearning for that ole staff I'd bought one Halloween, that had a small ignition in the bottom--it would crack with a spark, like we always assume happens with the Holy.

(Or Unholy)

Depending.

*  *  *

That's when the guy drove up.

On a bicycle.

He was praising Jesus loud, I heard that much before he stopped.

He turned the handlebars of his bike deftly, managing to create a small moment of drama in front of the line of us cows, waiting in the moo moo line.

He began a benediction:

"Lawd Jesus, I beseech you, to come down upon these people here, and bless them with your everlasting love and Holy Spirit."

He had straddled the bike and was actually calling corners, as I know a witch or priest would, motioning the summons of the four archangels with his hands, via the cross.

We all stood there in line, quiet and listening.

"May these people hear my prayer and your will be done through me, with peace everlasting."

No one said anything for maybe TWO seconds.

(If you know me, that's all I could stand.)

"Thank you, brother." I said to him, as I paid for my beer.

He looked at me, as if to judge if I were serious. Then he smiled.

He rode away.

*  *  *

Those behind me were smiling, like a joke, but I hopped in the car and told my friend,

"How cool is THAT? I just got a benediction, buying BEER!"

He shook his head and asked,

"What? Does this [shtuff] follow you around?"

I smiled and said,

"I hope so."

*  *  *

Hope is the last thing in the box...


Sunshine
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658 posted 2004-08-29 07:25 AM


"What? Does this [shtuff] follow you around?"

I smiled and said,

"I hope so."

~*~

Maybe the VERY last thing in that box,
m'love, is renewal...

serenity blaze
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659 posted 2004-08-29 02:30 PM


a temporary truce and a few beers never hurt either.


Sunshine
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660 posted 2004-08-29 02:36 PM


Not only are we having a truce here, but some fine things have come about in the last few days.  I guess one from looking in on the outside would say, "life changes 101".

And it's really hard to keep the grin off my face.

serenity blaze
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661 posted 2004-08-29 10:41 PM


Well folks, we're getting down to the wire here. Mike (the carpenter we all like) is accomodating me in my request for built-ins, and he has already framed the window in my office/bedroom with bookshelves and a window seat. And smile, I need more...

Soooo...tomorrow he is building me a platform style bed, atop even MORE casing for books. (I've got a LOT of 'em, and I'm lusting after more as I type. )

I love books. I'm pretty much known to have one on my being at any given time. It seems to run in the family. As I've mentioned several times, I inherited my brother's library as well, and right now I'm feeling a bit emotional, as my brother's dying wish was that I would take care of his books.

He left me an extensive theological library, as well as a stash of pure heaven--history, history, history. He spent his last days curled up in his worlds with a world, until he was finally admitted into the hospital.

He was the only one who seemed to know he was dying.

My sister, (some of you know her as "twist") received a phone call from him the morning before he died.

"I'm pulling an 'Edgar Cayce'," he told her. Then he proceeded to explain to her that he was going to die before he ever saw home again, and how vital it was to him that we go over there and rescue his treasure. He feared that his roommates would throw them out, as they aren't exactly appreciative readers.

I'm going to attempt the cracked tile for the window seat again--as I don't particularly want it be an inviting sitting space. Laughing now. (Everybody can just stay the hell out.) I'll place the box that contains my brother's ashes there, and he'll be finally surrounded by his beloved books.

*  *  *

I'll be "in transit" this week and have no idea when I'll be online, so if ya'll don't hear from, no worries, k?

And if I seem glum, it's a bittersweet move.

I love my little house here.

HUGS, my bloomin' poets!

I should be here a few more days tho...





garysgirl
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662 posted 2004-08-30 05:31 AM


Hi ya'll
I just stopped in here to see how everyone is doing and got stuck. I started on this last page and went backwards, to where I was here last....five pages back. A lot has been shared since I visit your garden, Karen. As usual, I'm kind of speechless. It really amazes me how many different things so many of us have in common. Even though we are all different and lead different lives, our inner feelings are so similar....and the different happenings in our lives to make those feelings are so similar, though different. Does that make sense? I know. It does to me, too.

Well, I need to go for now. By the way, Gary told me the other day that I must have been really good at playing hide-and-seek when I was growing up. And, he also said that he was too. He said that is why he knows all those "hiding places" I have within myself to hide and that that is the reason that he can always find me. He says that he has taken Ethelology for almost seven years now and this is another thing that amazes me...he wants to continue to know more and more about me. In spite of myself??

Sunshine
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663 posted 2004-08-30 06:37 AM


In spite of yourself, Ethel?  Methinks in please of yourself that someone would stay focused because it would not only be good for him, but good for you, too...welcome home.

Your brother is smiling, Karen.  Probably a lop-sided kind of grin, that's what it feels like, but feeling better that you are getting what you want, even though it's still a fight, and for keeping him with you, side by side, through it all.


serenity blaze
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664 posted 2004-08-30 04:11 PM


Ethology. grin. I like that lots.

Ethel m'lady, sounds like you have a "keeper".

and there's a rumor going about a chat room, anybody happen to know where the hell it IS?

I may actually have a bit of privacy tonight and would love to check in with my buds...


GG
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665 posted 2004-08-30 06:13 PM


Hey peoples
I'm still here listening to you all...
y'know, you people talk a lot!
But don't stop...
I'm young and know I can learn a lot by listening.
So keep at it, folks...
peace!

Sunshine
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666 posted 2004-08-30 07:04 PM


Serene being...check your mail...
serenity blaze
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667 posted 2004-08-30 07:07 PM


smile...

and post number 666 was a message to check my e mail.

Pardon me while I type:

"that is not signifigant.", six hundred and sixty-six times?

grin...

compulsive?

who?

MOI?



(and 665 hugs to GG too!)

serenity blaze
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668 posted 2004-08-30 07:12 PM


and Kari? I appreciate it, but I am showing NOTHING in the body of the e mail...

it's the same one that has been forwarded to me a kzillion times too. (love the effort, but DAMN)

can't somebody just post the link?

um, we may have guests who would might not wanna POST, but wouldn't mind talking?




nakdthoughts
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669 posted 2004-08-30 08:06 PM


http://groups.msn.com/PoetrysPassions/chat.msnw?r=1  

is that what you want Karen..then sign in afterwards???

and then click on the smiley face to the right and you should be in the passions chatroom if that is what you wanted...

hugs
M

Mysteria
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670 posted 2004-08-30 08:20 PM


http://www.chatzy.com/?522423965689

Sent you the password seeing it is your chatroom and all

nakdthoughts
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671 posted 2004-08-30 08:23 PM


guess I was in the wrong chatroom..I am never in the right loop *s


M

serenity blaze
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672 posted 2004-08-30 09:42 PM


maybe I should check my mail?

*laughing*

sigheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


I've gotta website with my name on it too.

Can't seem to find THAT either.



thunk-thunk-thunk


thank you

serenity blaze
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673 posted 2004-08-30 09:57 PM


and I am knocking at my own door here...

again

sharon?

THERE WAS NO PASSWORD!!!

ARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

kiss me first, next time, will ya?







Mysteria
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674 posted 2004-08-30 10:33 PM


Okay it appears some ladies that use Yahoo and Hotmail don't get my email as the server thinks I am spam, LOL.  Anyway, after Karen and I talked this evening she is "thinking" on a new house for our private chats that will have pretty curtains, couches, chairs, and of course a library right?  Who knows there may even be a fridge full of bubbly?

Karen, you will report back us soon when you find this new location right?  Hope we can keep it private like the current one without others walking in and out the door we don't even know though.  

GG
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675 posted 2004-08-30 11:09 PM


665?
I sure hope you hug fast because I do need to get some laundry finished...
(my father will wear the same clothes for a week if I don't pick them up off the floor, before he can wake up in the morning, and make them clean. [I wish I was kidding])

And M? don't worry...
I stopped by there too, trying to find everyone. Oh well, right?  

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
                  Joyce kilmer

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676 posted 2004-08-30 11:30 PM



vlraynes
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677 posted 2004-08-31 01:15 AM



Hi, ladies...

Just popping in to say 'hello' again...

and?.. I know I haven't been around much... and I'm sorry I haven't been a very good member of the 'tiara club'...

but?... just thought I'd say that I would love to chat with you all... if/when you get that going... and if you'll have me...

Anyway... I hope life is treating you all well...

Love you, ladies...

serenity blaze
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678 posted 2004-08-31 02:04 AM


Wow.

I really don't know what to say. But nod, I'm sure I'll think of something!

*chuckle*

What can one say when one attempts to find her own chat room, and upon finally getting in, discovers no one is there?

*shaking my head*

(I'd tell ya what I actually said, but it wouldn't pass guidelines.)

I appreciate the thought, and (I think) know the need of such a thing, but honestly, I have to tell ya, it just didn't feel right to me...

I don't like exclusions much.

And while I'd be happy to drop in and chat from time to time, I hardly think it should be called "mine."

I mean, I don't intend offense, but it just felt like exclusion to me and I started my journal as place to drop my drawse and wag my tail a bit--shrugs and simplicity?

I don't have need for a secondary.

But by all means? Should such a place even ever need my blessing, you've got it.

I'll be in when I can, I just wish it were accessible to everyone.

As it is, I feel like I'm wearing tight knickers.

Watch me rock and moan?

*laughing*


vlraynes
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679 posted 2004-08-31 04:48 AM



Oops...

sorry... didn't mean to stick my nose in where it didn't belong...

didn't realize the chat thing was 'exclusive'...

but... guess that's why I didn't know about it, eh?

Oh well... my bad...

'night, ladies...

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680 posted 2004-08-31 01:22 PM


You truly make me laugh Serenity - the chatroom is not exclusive to keep out the people here, but to keep out the strangers out there!  Those nasty spammers, and unwanted people trying to sell more than poetry yanno.

The password was Passions, and in the email it was suggested to invite your friends via email to come use the room anytime, as I didn't have an entire mailing list.

I shall leave it there just in case, and seeing I happen to think The Tiara Club sounds pretty darn good, how about we leave it called that?  It is for anyone here to use.  As you mentioned your sister also has a site with a chatroom to use, so there are options for people to go to different areas to simply enjoy each other's company and chat for a bit.

This one does not happen to be decorated with smiles, colors, bells and whistles, etc. It is just bare bones, but the only thing is - no strangers popping in, and no "Spam, etc."

Y'all have a great day down there, and Carpe' Diem.

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681 posted 2004-08-31 05:19 PM


Well...Let it not be said I don't call a spade a spade ladies, and any gentlemen reading as well.

I do apologize for setting up a chat room for this thread without clearing it with Serenity first, that was wrong on my part actually.  Further adding more salt to wounds already open as I understand some felt "left out", I chose to send an email out to some I knew hoping you would let your friends know where it was instead of posting it here which was my second mistake obviously.  This was not an EXCLUSIVE chatroom just one that would be protected from spam, and outsiders that were not Passion members that is all.  I guess I am not understanding the reason for any hurt feelings, as many have started chat rooms here, so it must be the fact I started it calling it the "Tiara Club", which if you remember correctly I chose in May this year.

If anyone felt left out or has hurt over this, I can't apologize for that really, as no one person can make you feel left out or hurt - you would have had to have done that to yourself.  All one needs to do is ask right?  

The site of the chatroom was never a secret, and as a matter of fact it is still there (since May this year,) should you like to use it.  The sole intention of building it was for those that were perhaps a bit shy to post on this thread to have a place to take a friend in here to talk to in private I guess.

Again, I do apologize, now off to the Fair with my family, Carpe' Diem y'all

In any event, the link to the place is http://www.chatzy.com/?522423965689
and where it says to type in the password (case sensitive) it is Passions.

Have a great day  

serenity blaze
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682 posted 2004-08-31 06:03 PM


Thank you Sharon.

I apologize to you for inferring that you were somehow snooty. (not my intent, as I realize it wasn't yours to hurt anyone's feelings either)

I know you, lady, and you are a lovely caring generous spirit.

And if ya'll have been reading, I do have other matters on my mind these days--

and I say to hell with August, 2004.

I'll be burning calendars at midnight.


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683 posted 2004-08-31 06:46 PM


Ah honey, you should keep the August calendar for the posterity of the month...
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684 posted 2004-09-01 10:30 AM


It isn't August anymore?!!!
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685 posted 2004-09-01 10:44 AM


You noticed that too, Chris?
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686 posted 2004-09-01 06:24 PM


Septembers here and I'm back...
still drifting, but I'm back.  
I've really missed you all SO much!

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687 posted 2004-09-01 07:22 PM


  The SISTERS are home!!!!

'Bout time you brought your booty home, now spill it and share with us all that your muse wrote upon your skin!

Welcome home, Enchantress!

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688 posted 2004-09-01 07:34 PM


Hi Teed ! That's what I call Nancy Lee ... when I was little for some reason that's what came out of my mouth when I saw her.
   Anyway, sister of mine, I missed you soooooo much and ummmm...well...err.... did you get me anything on your holidays?

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689 posted 2004-09-01 08:02 PM


Welcome home Nance & Chris!



and I'll be around--I'm in the midst of a move--sorta. I spent the day transporting & shelving BOOKS (priorites yanno   )

but I wanted to drop in and welcome ya'll back.

And Kari? I'm in the quandary of "what to keep"--tsk. There is a dresser bureau I've owned since I was a child. I was thinking of discarding it and just using shelving in my closet, but then as I was emptying one of the drawers, I came across a crude message, guiltily woodburned into the back of it.

"I hate Royce."



I had done that, of course. And a further "of course" is that "Royce" is my other brother. Every family has one like him--the white sheep of the family who doesn't mind reminding everyone consistently that he is, indeed, the white sheep of the family!



tsk...I think I gotta keep it, don't you?

Hugs all!

(And a quick note? if you're the sort to pray, please say a prayer for Mike (remember Mike, we like him, right?) His son fell down an elevator shaft on the job today--and yes, he broke some bones, but is gratefully alive. I await word as they are looking for internal injuries right now.)

thank you

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690 posted 2004-09-01 10:58 PM


Karen - no, no, no .... don't get rid of the dresser! Too many memories. Plus, maybe it could be transformed in some way. You are getting quite good at remodelling it seems.
   You brought back a childhood memory for me when you mentioned the dresser and something written on it. *sigh*
   When I was maybe 8 years old, my parents bought me for Christmas my own set of table and chairs for my bedroom. It was one of those card table fold down types with two chairs. Metallic red metal frame and legs. The padded top of the table was delightful with painted nursery rhyme pictures. I loved that table. I would spend hours dressing my dolls on it, or trying my best to stay within the lines in my colouring books, or reading my big Shirley Temple Storybook, which I adored. It was my space, my "grown up" busy place. From my chair at the table I could look out my bedroom window and pretend I lived on a farm and my pony was grazing in the grass. Of course, it was only the neighbours dog digging in their garden, but hey, I was a kid. A kid full of dreams.
   Anyhow, I also loved to paint my nails at this table. Always careful to put a kleenex under my hand as not to mark the table with red polish. One day .... one dreadful day, I was removing my old polish so to apply new, when I accidentally knocked over not the nail polish, but the remover.
   Oh no!! I scooped up the bottle as fast as my little hands could and grabbed a fist full of kleenex to sop up the spill. I wiped and wiped ..... wrong, wrong!! I didn't know at my age that nail polish remover could also remove other things as well. My eyes almost fell out of my head when I saw Jack & Jill's faces smearing grotesquely across the table. Snears instead of smiles.....eyes like wild bats. Humpty Dumpty not only sat on the wall.....he slimed all over it!
   I could go on, but it's too ugly.
Let's just say that I learned a valuable lesson that day. Well, two really. One .... never underestimate (is that all one word?) the power of anything bottled...hee hee ... and two....you can't cover up your mistakes from your mother with a colouring book and/or storybook for more than a day.
   Thanks again for this journal oh witchy one. Memories are priceless. Nighty night all. Chrislane

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691 posted 2004-09-02 11:05 AM


I would give much if I had the chance to go back and collect some of the things I thought were not important to me...keep the dresser.

My thoughts and prayers are with Mike and family...

And check your e-mail.

serenity blaze
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692 posted 2004-09-02 02:46 PM


ya'll keep remind me of stories! With all of this heat, I think I could stand some early Christmas--so bring 'em on!

thank you Chrislane!

and Mike's son is stable, plently of broken bones, but the main injury was apparently to his son's face. He'll need reconstructive surgery as he apparently fell face first, shattering the right side of his face. (He's a pretty boy, too.)

But I should run, and I want to wave to my Florida friends as well. This storm? sighing, it's a bad ass big'n, so please, lock the place up tight and take a lil vacation.

Hugs all and *peace*.

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693 posted 2004-09-02 09:35 PM


Some early Christmas, for serenity...

Christmas Eve in N’Awlins

There were no hustling bustling big breasted
women, no, no,
not on Christmas Eve…

there were no parades, no fanfare
no savoir faire, no lady fair
not on Christmas Eve…

we walked the streets to feel replete
before we ate, to completely sate
two alone on Christmas Eve…

I did not know the lady then
for she has only come to me, now, when
she said “it’s a state of mind”

French Quarter
N’Awlins
On Christmas Eve

We walked the streets, just two of us
heels clicking in the quiet,
there, on Christmas Eve…

soft the sounds of quiet round
and ghosts did speak
on Christmas Eve

the buildings, warm,
told of stories and storms
then, on Christmas Eve

and quietly she spoke, a state
of mind awoke
then, on Christmas Eve

N’Awlins called my name to me
it sounded sweet, Karilea
in echoes of Christmas Eve

A state of mind? Oh yes, I’ll find
My where in when
there, some then,
some future Christmas Eve.

~*~

Remember, serenity?  It was AFTER I visited your beautiful city that I learned you lived there.  I so enjoyed my time there, and it would be wonderful to come for a visit again soon.   Like before I turn 100.

And I AM going to turn 100.  

One of my favorite Christmas stories to tell on myself was the year that I broke one of Mom’s cardinal rules.  Being the eldest, I was expected to follow all rules and set examples and she didn’t leave much wiggle room, that was for sure.  What was good for the youngest was good for the eldest and vice versa.  But this one year Mom and Dad had really talked “poor mouth”, that there wouldn’t be much of a Christmas, and they weren’t very sure that even Santa could make it much better, either.  Wow.  That was REALLY bad if Santa couldn’t make it.  I was at the age where I knew Santa was really Dad and Mom, working to hide things throughout the year, and they did such a good job all year long we kids NEVER knew where things were placed.  [I found out later they used a friend’s house…]

But of course brother and sister were younger and we had to “keep” the magic of Christmas, so I had to do what they had to do and at that pre-teen time, it was pretty rankling to be treated like an adult during the day and as one of the little kids at night.  But that year, I had a “plan”.

So when we were all admonished to stay in bed until the next morning, and not rush out before Mom and Dad were awake, I thought, “ha!”

And on Christmas Eve, against mother’s own rule, she closed the hall door that led to the living room.  [She, who feared fire more than anything, was a huge advocate of always leaving all doors open for emergencies.]  

When I heard Dad and Mom settle in, and gave them another 30 minutes to fall asleep, I slowly got out of my bunkbed [top level] and wouldn’t you know, that very night, I heard creaks in the ladder and in my bedroom wood floor that I had NEVER heard before!  With the idea that I could always say I “had to go to the bathroom”, I had my “alibi” prepared.  

When one is sneaking around, it’s amazing how their own breathing echoes loudly in their own ears, and oh my, was that my heart beating so loudly?

I’d never make a good thief.  I haven’t the nerves for it.

The hallway doorknob was within my grasp.  I could see the Christmas lights glowing around the doorframe.  I handled the doorknob easily, quietly, and closed in on the door so I could peek quickly.  

Oh, My, Gosh.

For a “not-much” Christmas, it looked as if Santa had used TWO sleighs.  Apparently it had been a bumper year in ways the parents hadn’t shared, because I hadn’t see SO MUCH STUFF ever in my life, and all under, around, and IN our tree.

In the glow of Christmas lights, I could feel a lump begin in my throat.  Mom and Dad…always pinching pennies, always taking on second and third jobs.  Always fixing this or repairing that, and shopping at the Salvation Army for clothes to “get by.”  Stretching hamburger six ways to Sunday.  Doing without, so their three kids could have something they needed – maybe not the best, or the most, but we got by.

That room was full of more than gifts.  It was full of the love of two parents who knew that raising children wasn’t easy, and not all years would be good years, but when they could be good, they would be special, and shining, and memorable.

Going back to bed didn’t seem quite as loud in my ears.  But I was aware that in going against the rules, I had robbed myself of the enthusiasm that my brother and sister would have the next day of hurrying Mom and Dad up and out of bed.  My giggle wouldn’t quite be like theirs, full of anticipation.  I already knew what was behind the door…and I knew that while the gifts would still be a surprise…I had let myself down.  I had taken a step toward growing up, and becoming an adult, and realizing that someday I would have children, and would have to plan carefully to give them the kind of loving Christmas my parents were giving me.

It was the year of my first diary.

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694 posted 2004-09-02 10:57 PM


Karilea?
serenity blaze
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695 posted 2004-09-03 09:43 PM


Kari? Anytime you come to New Orleans, I will consider it Christams.



And good people, this storm approaching Florida right now is so big...we can smell it in the breezes here in New Orleans.

It's like a dose of priorities when mother nature knocks, and knocks, and then finally rages.

My prayers are with them tonight.


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696 posted 2004-09-03 10:32 PM


Amen to that Karen....amen to that.
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697 posted 2004-09-03 11:14 PM


Anything that appears four times wider than the state it's going to hit...is something to be wary of.  All of our east coast friends and family are in our prayers...for sure.

Glad you enjoyed the little story on myself, Serenity.  I find that everytime I tell a story on myself...I learn something new yet again.  Thank you for asking for a Christmas story.  August went so fast, by the time it's Christmas again, it will be June.

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698 posted 2004-09-04 10:54 PM


My heart goes out to anyone going through Francis down there, and their loved ones.  It is a terrible worry for those even watching that are afraid for those we care about.  I have had this running in the background when I get home, or watching CNN.  I am so grateful that Mother Nature was not as angry as she could have been.  Let us hope and pray that Ivan is even kinder to them.

This is very good live coverage by NBC in Florida:
http://nbc6.feedroom.com/iframeset.jsp?ord=803629

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699 posted 2004-09-08 12:02 PM



saying 'hi'...

just because...

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700 posted 2004-09-10 01:29 AM


Hello my sweet friends!!
Have you noticed that I can't stay away too long? I have to come check on ya'll every now and then!

And, I would like to ask you all to please keep all of us who are in the path of Ivan in your thoughts and prayers. As I'm sure ya'll have heard, if it doesn't change course, it will hit some part of Florida. If it gets into the Gulf Of Mexico, it will probably gain strength. I feel so sorry for the ones in South Florida who have been hit twice in the last few weeks. Oh, I hate hurricane season!!

Take care, my sweet people, and I will talk to you all again soon.
Hugs,
Ethel

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701 posted 2004-09-16 06:27 AM


To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under the sun.
A time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal ...
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance ...
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to lose and a time to seek;
a time to rend and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.

ecclesiastes 3:1-8



*    *    *



---------------------------------



I live here in Lousisiana, where we are blessed with two growing seasons. In the early spring, we are sometimes lucky enough to guesstimate when spring is eager to tread the waters of our soggy winters, and yes, there are are some of us, who, upon that occasion, manage to jump into the troughs of fingering seedling spread, and we boast our fruit proudly by June & July.

This is not a thing that is taught in books, nor is it promised in the seedling catalogues. It is instinct born of watching the skies, and the trees--at what time will the leaves turn bruised in fall and heal that bright green promise early come steamy spring.

This is the thing that can only be known by the turn of the shovel in February -- and a nod and a judge decides whether the turning continues on--deciding if this root should be reckoned low, and if that bed should be raked to richness and hothouse plasticene protected in the interim.

Gardens are are an urging of instinct, and with every shovelful is the grim acknowledgement that the instinct, so sure of foot, can be wrong.

I move things when I garden, yanno.

I really don't have a plan.

Of course, I understand companion plantings, and consider the sun as well as the turf. I'm not afraid to dig, as I am also not afraid to stomp a scrubbly - praying for their survival even as I toughen the trip for them--I want big, beautiful blooms, and I understand now, that sometimes, a break heals fastest and most cohesive, sprouting newness, but a vehement stomp can do irreparable damage.

I understand now, too, that some breaks don't heal.

I understand that we can lose things on the way.

*  *  *

I cut my flowers to place in vases, in my dark spots where they will be most appreciated.

Like my beloved Hawaian ginger?

smile.

If you cut those braids and place them near your stove, or some place warm, and her perfume grants erotica to the nose in tantalize...you've got Eden.

Lilies are more delicate--but bold and strong in the stem they make a delightful spright of color where no one ever thought a glimmer of a spark would be. Long stemmed lava lights in muse, they remind me of my father--he would make them last for days, peeling back the deadened leaves, changing waters for their fresh--keeping brights vibrant with spoonfuls of sugar surreptiously dumped into vases that housed them. and aspirin (he said "shhhhhhhhhh")-- keeping secrets.

I loved the gardens of my father--I hid behind massive "elephant ears". I sucked the sweet of honeysuckle plumes, braving the bees for the feast, and tiny wild strawberries were my dessert, growing wild, like goundcover, by the shed. Wild onion grew rampant there as well---my meticulous father mowed around the patch of wildflowers--heady scented bending and black-eyed susans made wreaths for my head.

But I remember a time of wondering "why"? I would watch him shoveling the earth and chop--the roots of his four o clocks--the vinca spread out by roots, mixed with compost and newspaper, and he would smile to himself, digging the bulbs of the daffodils--stashing them like onion in the shed he had built to just short of code--tided in stockings from the rafters, in panty hose of his daughters, retrieved from the trash.

It was the wintering of his garden, and my friends, I think I'll take a cue from him.

I do believe the time has come to lock my garden gate.

My hope remains, that others will plant a garden too. I'd love to be able to find a chair welcome for me, and that our tradition of stories might continue, and on the nights, as lonely as these, I'll find a place to chat with my friends again.

So I guess what I'm asking here, is that for those who enjoyed the adventures/misadventures of myself/others, perhaps we could begin a community garden.

The only constant I would like to see persevere is that it remain a community garden--a place of non-judgement.

This thread has meant so much to me, and the courage and constancy of those who joined in (and especially those who shyly e mailed me) have melded into my marrow bones to make me a stronger person, and your love, guidance, and consistant caring have been an enduring light to me--a tempering- and I love you all, each and every, and I can only pray that these words I type convey the depth of my gratitude as you walked through my life with my words with me, cheering me on, or frowning me down, in the way that only my lovers are able.

Yeah.

That's right.

I called ya'll my lovers.



Kari? You "got it" from the beginning.

May I ask you if you begin a new thread of a community garden?

I'd also like to thank all who joined in the fun, and wiped the tears from my fingers as I typed.

You are all beautiful.


And if you don't mind, I'll close with this poem, published by Ron Carnell graciously in Reflection on the Web:


The Garden Gate


I had to lift the gate to enter--
it dragged ragged on the ground
held by half a screw on hinge--
the rot of wood made not a sound
as I held the door aloft
amazed there was no hindrance there.
I turned and placed it with much thought
imagining a coat of care.

I saw a winding path ahead
overgrown with four-o-clocks
the bricks were moldy in thier bed
parslane held hands--interlocked
Egyptian sage grew wild in bloom
Hawaiian ginger boasted soon
rule of garden in perfume...
behold the braid of bud's cocoon.

Butterflies in kiss of me--
dance to bass of bumblebee.
I spied a sundial in the weeds
the ancient brought me to my knees
pulling grass by the handful
wishing sun would shadow dial...
I pulled the last grasp of the grass
and then the sun burst through in smile.

He played upon a wing of time
casting shadow in the rust
silent darkness rang the chime--
and I, the ash, returned to dust.



*  *  *  *  *



Now Kari? If you would, place the lock on my garden gate?

This thread is respectfully requested closed.

  

  

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