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ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

0 posted 2003-11-20 10:22 PM


....Cos I want one too!!!

Well, I guess I vaguely started one in my other thread in this forum, so I will pick up from it and start by copy pasting my latest(and only)reply as the beginning of this

******
I have managed to ascertain that tho he came round expecting casual sex, he did at least have a condom with him so he wasn't going to risk getting me pregnant...I guess that is something. Lol I asked him this evening about that actually and then followed it with "why me when i'm not even pretty or nething" and he went to bed saying he was too tired to come up with any more answers! Ooops! I know it was bizarre of me to ask these things but I was wondering and we are on talking terms so I thought I may as well ask. We still play bridge together actually. N Im already lots less broken up about him and what happened than I was. One night recently I was up from 1am to 4am just writing my thoughts and feelings out, and that is where the questions came up from. It helped me doing that though, it was kind of cathartic.
Lol I think he prob sorry for trying it on with me cuz he didn't get his way and he's had a lot of grief from me over it. So why are we still friends? Who knows!! I think prob just cos we are bridge partners so it is in our best interests (as well as the interests of the B-team) if we get along well enough to play bridge...that and I'm just way too nice! Still surprised that we get on reasonably well though despite the whole thing.
I have realised that I am way too idealistic...won't settle for second best cuz I just know how it should be...yet that seems to keep me single. Not that I've been turning down offers by the thousand or anything lol like there were any in the first place! Well there was him wanting in my pants, but I didn't mean that sort of offer, I meant real feeling offers. Still can't believe he would have slept with me, he came round with that in mind, condom in the wallet and all! The nerve! But I guess it would have been fine with a fair number of people, so I can't blame him so much. It's kind of weird to think that if I had responded instead of lieing there shaking and being scared witless until he calmed down I might have had sex. It was so nice when he stopped hassling me and we just fell asleep together. I wish he had had real feelings for me. Then again in retrospect I don't think we would have made a good match anyway. Better as a bridge partner!!
Sorry I have been rambling, that was a copy paste and then some!!!!
Anybody here got men figured out?? I haven't!!!
I will check back in and write some more sometime
Thanks in advance to ne1 who reads and responds.
Liz xxx

"Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~

© Copyright 2003 ESP - All Rights Reserved
magic_612
Member
since 2003-07-31
Posts 190
NB, Canada
1 posted 2003-11-21 07:24 AM


believe me, it's best not to sleep with friends! It completely ruined my friendship with my best friend.. although it felt "right" at the time, it wasn't worth it at all.
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
2 posted 2003-11-21 12:41 PM


Even dating a friend ruins a friendship. I know that one from experience. And now me and Greg haven't even talked in over a year. But not like I care to talk to the loser. LOL

Cold hands means a warm heart

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
3 posted 2003-11-21 12:53 PM


Yep, Mike is a loser too........but I am nice and the bridge is still good lol
NB: He didnt consider me more than an acquaintance, twas all pretence :s men...tut!
Ty 4 the replies xxx

"Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
4 posted 2003-11-26 03:53 PM


Hello!

My feet haven't been touching the ground lately...the weekend was completely taken over with Bridge: Team practice Friday night, a match all day Saturday (had our butts kicked), a tournament on Sunday (no results till Jan) and another match on Monday evening (we kicked butt!) In between all this I had a 1500 word essay due in this week, plus classes...
Started this week pretty shattered! I'm going home in 10 days!! Haven't been since Easter (home, being in Botswana, is far away and I was working in France over the summer) I'm out again this weekend, this time visiting my sister, which'll be nice, last time I'll see her before Christmas.
I had another writing out my feelings session last night. After the one I had about a week and a half ago, I felt much better until yesterday evening when I had a bit of down time. This time I managed to chase it away quicker I know healing doesn't all happen at once but I also know I am making lots of good little steps in the right direction, which is always a good thing!!
Haven't written any poetry in a while, only for my creative writing class. Which is different, you know? So I just lurk around the discussion forums until the muse returns!!
Laterz,
Liz xxx

"Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

5 posted 2003-12-07 10:27 AM


I haven't written poetry in ages either.. maybe it's because I'm so busy. I also have trouble writing poetry when I'm happy. I write sad poems and happy poems when I'm depressed.. when I'm happy, well, I don't write very much. I never figured that out.

Anyway, to sum up my thoughts on the whole guy situation

Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them!!!!

And get a man!

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
6 posted 2003-12-08 01:56 PM


I write poems but not as much as I used to. I have been going through a lot of confusion with my love life the last couple of months. And my poetry hasn't been to good.

Cold hands means a warm heart

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
7 posted 2003-12-12 04:34 PM


Wow, was looking at some poems on the main site and came across one that totally mirrored my feelings... http://www.netpoets.com/poems/sadlove/1496001.htm
I am at home for the christmas holidays now and glad to be Tis the season to be jolly after all. Good will to all men--even bastards.
Watched a great film last night at the cinema, called "love, actually". It's a brit film, really good. For some reason I got tears in my eyes a couple of times when watching it, and Mike was the source. I am over him and have moved on, but that film just brought back emotions and memories that had been laid to rest...guess that happens now and again. Am back to being happy again now (well I was very soon after, actually) I must be a weirdo or something!
39 degrees celsius in the swimming pool at six this evening, and that seemed cool in comparison to the air temperature...!!!
Anyway main reason for writing tonight was because of that poem whose link I included in this spiel, cos it was awesome Every1 should read it. It's very simple, but I am sure so many people would empathise with it...
Well, laterz y'all,
Liz xxx

"Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~

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