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Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2003-11-20 01:05 AM




Ron? Do you own a pair of white polyester slacks?

[This message has been edited by Poet deVine (11-20-2003 07:21 PM).]

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Ron
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1 posted 2003-11-20 02:36 AM


T'was in the Eighties I was cute,
When last I wore a leisure suit.
But twenty years and growing waist
Have forced a drastic change in taste.
Not white nor red nor green nor black --
I own no polyester slacks.

(I hesitate to ask what prompted THAT question. )

Kit McCallum
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2 posted 2003-11-20 06:32 AM


ROFL!  

No leisure suit required sir,
You’re still a cutey … that’s for sure!

Sunshine
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3 posted 2003-11-20 08:58 AM




Susan Caldwell
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4 posted 2003-11-20 09:33 AM


isn't white polyester pants what the pimp daddies used to wear? (I swear I am not old enough to remember... )
Greeneyes
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5 posted 2003-11-20 05:56 PM






LMAO oh dear lord the image of that.....reminds me of chevy chase and the christmas vacation (not sure why, but the image flashed before my eyes...)

I had a dream last night
you came to me on silver wings of light
I flew away with you in painted sky
Was it real
Is it what you see,touch or feel

Poet deVine
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6 posted 2003-11-20 07:24 PM


I noticed I left the 'i' out of the word question in my title..


Do you ever wonder if someone will answer an out of the ordinary question? LOL

So ... tested a theory and discovered an answer!

Ron
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7 posted 2003-11-20 08:59 PM


This was a test? I'm a guinea pig?

In the words of Neo, "You could have just asked."



Nightshade
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just out of reach
8 posted 2003-11-20 09:43 PM




Oh, it's okay Ron. As long as you don't wear those lightening bolt Kiss boots with them!


Greeneyes
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9 posted 2003-11-21 12:06 PM


LOL or the fish bowl high heel platforms....

I had a dream last night
you came to me on silver wings of light
I flew away with you in painted sky
Was it real
Is it what you see,touch or feel

Mysteria
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10 posted 2003-11-21 01:17 AM


This is totally off track but did Ron's poem sound like Dr. Suess?  Sheesh, I am just having one of those days? LOL

Ron does not own pants of white,
Sometimes he might wear khaki.
Give this man some credit now
He knows that polyester's tacky.  

[This message has been edited by Mysteria (11-21-2003 06:55 PM).]

Dee
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Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia
11 posted 2003-11-21 09:23 AM


I went to this really cool pub (hotel) a little while ago and its all decorated retro. It was great to see all the things around that I grew up with.
After the lunch rush the staff do a fashion show. Out comes all the polyester and crimpolene. Its really scarey cause I remember wearing some of that stuff.



Dee

Stand straight and tall, not the reflection as others see you, but as you truely are.        Clearwater

Poet deVine
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12 posted 2003-11-21 09:44 AM


Sigh. I try to be good I really do, but faced with poetic answers, I have to respond in kind. Please take this with a smile -


***
We’re in the new millennium
You’re still cute, at least to some
Though rounder and a little older
This girl wishes you would hold her
This isn’t fiction, it’s the facts
I’ll take with or without slacks!




Mysteria
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13 posted 2003-11-21 06:48 PM



White polyester slacks are still in style,
Now I hope to make that clear
By heading down to Florida
And asking the Balladeer?

Most golfers down in Florida,
Wear white slacks upon the green.
If you’ve seen men in Florida golfing,
You’d know just what I mean.


I think I better explain this thread,
Before it gets out of hand,
It all started with a dream of mine
That really was quite grand.


Florida is where my dream took place.
There was this handsome older man.
He bumped into our Poet Devine
In this dream, it was not our Nan!

He sent her books a flying
Quickly picking them up he said,
“I’ve been waiting for this moment,
Pinch me so I know that I’m not dead!”

She pinched him all right she did,
In the seat of his white polyester pants,
And there she felt the hardest thing ~
Good grief, the man had butt implants!

He said, “Now you know my secret,
I hope to make this clear,
I wouldn’t give up this butt, but for you
So just say the word my dear!"

She up and pushed him in a puddle,
His pants of white now black!
Man I hate those retro dreams,
In the life of this insomniac.

Ron, this thread has been such fun,
Sorry you weren't the man in my dream.
But ... I bet your butt in pants of white
Would the cutest butt we’ve seen?

C’mon in now all, and join the fun,
Poetically, let’s hear it loud and clear,
Sharon’s got Ron writing poetry
To protect his butt it’s clear.




[This message has been edited by Mysteria (11-22-2003 01:36 AM).]

Ron
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14 posted 2003-11-22 12:35 PM


Who says the new millennium
is new for all us older PiPs?
Bell bottoms on Miss Heidi Klum?
And Brittney's pants are hugging hips?
The change in clothes is zero-sum,
as styles of old again eclipse
the age-old goal that men succumb
to promise of a woman's lips.

My polyester days are spent
and clothes are not what still attract,
but hugs will never cause dissent,
with or without 'fore-mentioned slacks.

Poet deVine
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15 posted 2003-11-22 01:12 PM


It’s true that fashions tend to be
Reborn for each generation
But when will showing underwear
Stop being a fascination
The guys today seem to think
It’s cute to show their undies
They wear pants that are too big
That hug not hips but knees

A hug can be a delicious treat
When given with much affection
With or without your slacks
I’m sure yours are perfection!



Ron
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16 posted 2003-11-22 02:16 PM


No pants around the knees for me;
Even the thought is such a scare!
I'd look like Michael at the tee,
his polyester white aglare,
save the slacks would be illusory
since I don't wear underwear.


Poet deVine
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17 posted 2003-11-22 02:38 PM


No underwear for the Wiz?
The thought sends me reeling
Polyester or corduroy
Each now sounds so appealing

That you would admit this
Kind sir, no boxer or jockey
Make me think that you are
More than a little bit cocky!


Ron
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18 posted 2003-11-22 04:26 PM


Attitudes not withstanding
(which I admit can't be denied)
I beg your kind understanding --
my reason is not as implied.

My lack of apparent decorum
wasn't meant to be so exposed,
but it's just like in the forums --
I'm waiting for "soon" to wash clothes.

Poet deVine
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19 posted 2003-11-22 05:13 PM


What mundane reason given
For your intended unbaring
Twas my imagination that
Lept to conclusion daring

I guess it’s time you brought me
Thudding back down to earth
But you understand how much
I enjoy sharing a bit of mirth!

Don’t leave! This is just starting
We’ll discuss detergents and bleach
There is so much we could share
If we both learn and both teach

Mysteria
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20 posted 2003-11-22 05:45 PM


Did someone mention cleaning products?
Oh my gosh, they are my favorite things.
Even, a can of Pledge excites me
And the shine it always brings.

I love to vacuum rugs
See all the vacuum lines,
People avoid the fresh, neat pattern
It’s my theory, not Einstein’s.

Now I adore doing laundry,
But Ron’s hint was not anticipated
However, I will give it a go,
And do my laundry butt naked!


[This message has been edited by Mysteria (11-22-2003 06:11 PM).]

Poet deVine
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21 posted 2003-11-22 05:50 PM



I'm sure your neighbors watch
while Mysteria's houseworking
and laundry day is cause for
a lot of social smirking

Let's hope you own a washer
and a dryer in your flat
so you don't do your laundry
at the local laundromat!

Mysteria
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22 posted 2003-11-22 06:07 PM


Well I will have you know
No one here washes clothes that way,
We all wash them outside in a tub
Then, hang them out all day.

The water here is really hard
Thinking of importing water in.
I hear water’s soft in Michigan
But there I don’t have any kin       *so sad*

It’s told they do their laundry
Mostly all of them, in the buff.
Only own two pair of underwear,
Everyday and church ones are enough!

I wonder how I can get some of that water,
From that great state of Michigan?
I don’t think wanting to be comfortable
While washing is a sin?


[This message has been edited by Mysteria (11-22-2003 06:08 PM).]

Poet deVine
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23 posted 2003-11-22 06:11 PM



You could send your laundry
to Ron by UPS
make sure to include
that lovely flowered dress!

Perhaps we'll take a road trip
An RV is all it takes
and we can do our laundry
in one of Michigan's lakes



Nan
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24 posted 2003-11-22 06:19 PM


He owns no polyester slacks
His verse I vouch to be the facts
Bread pudding topped with soft ice cream
Has led to wider waistly seams…

He wears his fuzzies all day long
Elastic waistbands holding strong…
But some are also tied with string
Though they don’t seem to hold a thing…

His laundry’s hung up on the door
The closet’s really such a chore
Because instead the TV’s there!
This is the truth, it is, I swear…

The laundry sits in motley piles
Upon the rug and bathroom tiles
He’ll wash it “soon,”  cuz you know what?
The winter cold will freeze his butt


Mysteria
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25 posted 2003-11-22 07:18 PM


Sounds to me Ron lives in sweats
Now I bet that is a fact,
If consuming goodies and ice cream,
They certainly expand and retract.

We all wear fuzzies all day long,
I’m glad he keeps his covered!
Maybe that’s why he watches his tv
In his clothing cupboard?

Most men are messy, as you know
Dropping laundry all over the place
At least he puts his into piles,
Leaves him more computer space.

“Soon” seems like forever,
For Ron to get things done,
But I will say this for him indeed,
His sense of humor’s a lot of fun!

There’s a bare butt in Michigan
Now there’s a name for a poem,
I think I will have to research that,
“Knock, knock…anybody home?”

Poet deVine
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26 posted 2003-11-22 09:07 PM


Methinks the Wizard needs a maid
To handle some of these tasks
It’s said I am most capable
I’m ready if he asks

No river washing for this maid
I’ll buy a Maytag machine
And use my favorite brand of Tide
And get those fuzzies clean

Poet deVine
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27 posted 2003-11-23 07:18 PM




Oh my goodness oh my dear
how long is this laundry soaking?
Ron! Come back! come play with us
I'm sorry for all the poking.


Balladeer
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28 posted 2003-11-24 01:48 AM


Last summer I was playing golf
Somewhere in Michigan
And saw the strangest sight, my friends,
Yet seen by any man.

I saw a fellow hit a ball
That bounced off seven trees
Then hit old Bessie in the head
And brought her to her knees.

The ball then hit the turnpike,
Smacked a Chevy passing by
Which knocked it right back on the course..
I thought that I would die!!

The ball then skipped across a lake
And hit that darned flagpole
So hard the ball just dropped straight down
And finished in the hole!!!

"My God!", I screamed. "Did you see that!?"
I screamed, incredulously.
"Oh, sure", my caddy answered me,
"It happens frequently."

"The man's a legend in this town,
The best you'll ever see.
He runs a little poetry site
The folks call P.I.P."

"Don't try to play golf like he does.
They don't teach that in college.
'Round here his talent's got a name..
We call it Carnell knowledge."


Poet deVine
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29 posted 2003-11-24 03:29 AM




Mike, you have outdone yourself! That's amazing!!!! LOL

Sunshine
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30 posted 2003-11-24 11:14 AM



Mysteria
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31 posted 2003-11-24 12:34 PM


Oh my goodness!  Now that was one tall golf story told only by the best!  You surely did - you outdid yourself this time, you clever man you!  BRAVO!

[This message has been edited by Mysteria (11-24-2003 12:34 PM).]

Ron
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32 posted 2003-11-24 02:20 PM


That game of golf that Mike reports
was just a little experiment,
a marriage of slide rule and sports
... with maybe just a few rules bent?

A nine iron with a keyboard
was about all it really took,
but attaching a mouse and its cord
simply did wonders for my hook.

I programmed all those holes-in-one
with some rhyme and iambic code,
a few if-then's, a looping sum,
and math that almost overflowed.

But it really wasn't all that great
in spite of that which 'Deer composed.
I had to reboot the whole back eight,
lost strokes I blame on dang Windows.

The nineteenth hole was worst of all,
I never should have been so rash.
I spilled my Scotch on club and ball,
and caused my first hard driver crash.

Golf, so I fear, is not my game;
I figure I'm just too nerdy.
So cruel and mean, golf soon would seem,
when Mike told me he shot a birdie.

I still need to find my own sport,
a more suitable way to relax.
Chasing your balls just isn't the sort
of thing we should do in white slacks.


Sunshine
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33 posted 2003-11-24 02:31 PM





So it took a game of golf in rhyme
to play your round in iambic time.
Seems to me you've parred the course,
or is that a suit of clothes on another horse?


Mysteria
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34 posted 2003-11-24 07:40 PM


So Ron, if golfing is not your thing
In those slacks of pearly white,
Let’s invent a use for them -
I’m thinking with all my might.

Ah I can see it now, clear as a bell,
Ron the waiter at your service.
Oh my goodness you poor guy,
You surely do look nervous.

Sweat is forming on your brow,
And what a peculiar stance?
What the heck are you doing?
Is that the “chicken dance?”

Laughter’s filling up the room,
Tears are running down my cheeks
I haven’t had a laugh like this,
In I don’t know how many weeks.

He’s yelling, “Help! It’s the darn white pants!”
Could he possibly get any louder?
I'm laughing so hard I can hardly stand,
I filled the pockets with itching powder!”




[This message has been edited by Mysteria (11-24-2003 09:45 PM).]

Poet deVine
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35 posted 2003-11-25 12:55 PM



We need to find a sport for you
Something to do in white slacks
Because, my dear, you really do
Need to take some time and relax

Bowling? Well, that’s one thing
If you like life in an alley
But if the ball slips away
After a gutter ball you will rally!

Maybe your game should be
Played with a cue and balls
There is a green and little holes
Right there in those pool halls

Of course in Michigan there is
A winter sport with much passion
But unfortunately you’ll find
White slacks are not in fashion

Warm leather gloves on your hands
A stocking cap and mukluks
A woolen coat in shades of plaid
Waterproof undies like the ducks

And there you sit all day long
In a hut on a frozen lake
Ice fishing can be a good sport
If cold weather you can take

So maybe we need to think on this
Come and sit here by the fire
We’ll discuss the state of your pants
And the sport that you desire.


suthern
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36 posted 2003-11-25 04:32 PM


ROFL... I needed this... *G*
Justbleu
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since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
37 posted 2003-11-30 08:38 PM


Thank You ALL for the wonderful laugh!!!!
I also needed that!!!!
Paitently waiting to hear the rest.....
Bridgette

[This message has been edited by Justbleu (11-30-2003 08:39 PM).]

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